Parents Why

[JessMom]

So many people keep asking me why. . . why do I sit in the gym 15 hours a week . . . why did I allow my living room to be turned into a gym . . . why I spend so much money . . . it goes on and on

I just wanted to share with people that understand.

Nothing makes me happier then watching my daughter so happy. She can be cranky or in a bad mood and the second she walks in the gym door it's all gone. She's all smiles and laughs.

This week I watched as my daughter danced around like a loon all excited to be learning fulls. Laughing hysterically as her coach walked by and gave her a playful shove off the beam.

So I ask . . .how could I not?

 

[nettyinpa]

I totally get where you're coming from. People walk into our back room and go "what the heck is all this???" We have a bar, mats, a beam and a mini-tramp for dd. She had a playdate with one of her teammates a couple weeks ago. What do you think they did the entire time?? They chalked up and played on the bar, making up their own routines! I found chalk around my house for days! In the morning after breakfast, they start to 'warm-up' by running in place, and started doing some conditioning! I was like, girls, take a break! The wouldn't stop. No one but a gym parent would understand that. Like you said, she's so happy doing it so it is sooooo worth it!

 

[Flippers Mom]

I completely understand. My dh is self-employed and the business is really struggling right now, so our financial situation is extremely tight. His parents think (and always have) that we have lost our minds to spend so much time and money on gymnastics (we drive almost an hour each way to the gym 5x a week). My folks get it - it is part of who she is. Flipper never wants to invite anyone from school over, but is more then happy to have her gym friends over or spend the night with them. Nobody else in our small town school participates in gymnastics. She says that she just doesn't have much in common with her school friends - what would we do if they came over?! She explains it like this: I feel more like me when I am at the gym.

 

[MdGymMom01]

LOL--I had to laugh at this post because I can relate to this!!! When Dani was younger and first started cheer, I was always in the gym watching and at home she was always making up routines and it was cheer cheer cheer everything. I got to the one point where I would walk into Abercrombie (with the loud upbeat dance music blaring) and find myself mentally choreographing cheer routines to the music!!! God help me!!!! And when Dani switched to gymnastics, I started out watching her practices and she would want to practice ALL THE TIME at home.

But, now that she is older and exerting her independance (she will be 11 in January), I feel that I dont have to be in the gym all the time. It also gives her a chance to do things totally on her own and gives me time to get things done that I need to get done and allows me some "me time".

Last night at Dani's private lesson, I saw her Level 5 vault for the first time in months and I was totally impressed!!! I was like "WOW! That was awesome! I haven't seen you do that like that before!". So it was a nice surprise to see a skill after it has been worked on for a while.

I think as they get a little older, their interests change a bit and they go through phases of what they think is really cool and can't stop talking about it. For instance, the other day Dani couldn't stop talking about her ballet class because the teacher taught them the Michael Jackson Thriller dance "ballet-style". They listened to the music and incorporated different ballet steps into the actual Thriller dance! Dani was so excited and kept showing me the steps over and over again LOL. I love it when they get so excited and happy about things that they are doing they want to show everyone!!! So I can TOTALLY relate to your post JessMom!!!!

 

[drivingmom]

I hear ya! Most people don't get the gymnastics thing, the money and time we spend on it. I drive 30 minutes each way because my DD LOVES her gym. There are two much closer, but that is her home away from home. I love to watch and people think I am nuts as well to sit at the gym. I don't stay every practice, but at a couple times a week.

We have a beam in the living room and more stuff is coming for Christmas. This is her thing and we love it!

Thanks to all the CB friends!
WE GET IT!

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I so get it !!!

There are some days DD does not feel like going, but when she gets there doesn't want to leave.

If we are home, chances are she is upside down. As she puts it " walking on your feet is boring !"

 

[gymmom14]

I get it too. This sport is a strange cult. Only the insiders understand. My dd loves gym too. I agree that as they get older they get other intersts. The key is finding a way to support those interests and gym. Also, to find time to foster good relationships with friends at school as well as gym. At some point for most of us gym will end before the end of high school. So I feel it is important to make sure my dd gets to spend time with school friends on her off days.

One thing that worries me is that gym does not define who are kids are. They needs to be comfortable in their own skin all the time. Not just in they gym. I tell my dd a gymnast is not who you are. It is what you truly love to do and spend most of your time at, but you are still a great 12 year old, 7th grader with lots of friends, great grades, great big sister, funloving girl that is a fantastic gymnast. Not sure if that makes any sense or not.....

 

[mariposa]

I completely understand. My dh is self-employed and the business is really struggling right now, so our financial situation is extremely tight. His parents think (and always have) that we have lost our minds to spend so much time and money on gymnastics (we drive almost an hour each way to the gym 5x a week). My folks get it - it is part of who she is. Flipper never wants to invite anyone from school over, but is more then happy to have her gym friends over or spend the night with them. Nobody else in our small town school participates in gymnastics. She says that she just doesn't have much in common with her school friends - what would we do if they came over?! She explains it like this: I feel more like me when I am at the gym.

This is what I was going to post. We are struggling, too and I get questions as to why she is still in gymnastics, if DH doesn't have a job, etc. If they just knew how much she loved being in the gym, what a different kid she is there, how hard she has worked to just take it all away, they wouldn't ask, but they just don't understand. I do understand where they are coming from a little because I know if you haven't had a gym kid, you don't really know, but still.

I think that only other gym parents (and maybe parents of similar sports) can really understand gym parents.

We all definitely understand you and everyone here. LOL.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

This is what I was going to post. We are struggling, too and I get questions as to why she is still in gymnastics, if DH doesn't have a job, etc. If they just knew how much she loved being in the gym, what a different kid she is there, how hard she has worked to just take it all away, they wouldn't ask, but they just don't understand. I do understand where they are coming from a little because I know if you haven't had a gym kid, you don't really know, but still.

I think that only other gym parents (and maybe parents of similar sports) can really understand gym parents.

We all definitely understand you and everyone here. LOL.

I also could have written that post. DU is also self employed and the work is just not there right now. So, I work full-time during the day and have coaching 3 nights a week to help with costs. With meet fees it is still a struggle.

I enjoy coaching very much and have learned an amazing amount. I could not imagine having to tell her she could no longer go.

I think everyone on CB understands !!!

 

[cathiann]

This is what I was going to post. We are struggling, too and I get questions as to why she is still in gymnastics, if DH doesn't have a job, etc. If they just knew how much she loved being in the gym, what a different kid she is there, how hard she has worked to just take it all away, they wouldn't ask, but they just don't understand. I do understand where they are coming from a little because I know if you haven't had a gym kid, you don't really know, but still.

I think that only other gym parents (and maybe parents of similar sports) can really understand gym parents.

We all definitely understand you and everyone here. LOL.

We struggled with money for years--just now starting to get better and no one understood how we could still spend hundreds of dollars each month to keep the two girls in team gymnastics. Why not just take a break--they can always go back! Uh, not to the same level and I'd have miserable girls on my hands. I didn't feel like I could take something like that away from them for what was a short-term (well, relatively) problem.

 

[Gymdad2]

I get it too. This sport is a strange cult. Only the insiders understand. My dd loves gym too. I agree that as they get older they get other intersts. The key is finding a way to support those interests and gym. Also, to find time to foster good relationships with friends at school as well as gym. At some point for most of us gym will end before the end of high school. So I feel it is important to make sure my dd gets to spend time with school friends on her off days.

One thing that worries me is that gym does not define who are kids are. They needs to be comfortable in their own skin all the time. Not just in they gym. I tell my dd a gymnast is not who you are. It is what you truly love to do and spend most of your time at, but you are still a great 12 year old, 7th grader with lots of friends, great grades, great big sister, funloving girl that is a fantastic gymnast. Not sure if that makes any sense or not.....

I strongly agree with gymmom14 on this. As parents it is our responsibility to our dds to be sure that they developed as 'whole' people and are not defined by just one thing that they do. I know how captivating this sport can be, both for our dds and ourselves, but we need to keep a level head about it and help our dds grow in to well-adjusted young adults. As gymmom14 says, most will quit before high school and we need to be sure they have grown into a person who will thrive in that environment, with or without gymnastics.

 

[sportyfam5]

Because we love them, and that's enough.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

Playing off of the previous pointed post, which I loved:

Because I want to support her passions.
Because it brings her joy, and she loves it.
Because of the plethora of life lessons that it is teaching her that will last long after competitive gymnastics is over for her, whenever that may be.
Because it's a God-given talent, and I believe in developing that as long as she wants.
Because, although it is not who she is and it does not define who she is, it is a big part of her life, and she wants it that way.
Because we all know that gymnastics can be hard work, and if she's willing and even eager to do what it requires, then I'm willing to support her.
Because . . .
The list could go on, but, basically, like the previous post: because I love her.

(BTW, I could have written this about my other dd's theatrical pursuits and my other childrens' future passions, which also take/will take much sacrifice.)

 

[Midget's Dad]

Even with Midget at L3 we hear these same things. And the funny part, to me, is she is not even close to the hours some L3s on here or in other gyms are at. She does 7 hours of gym each week between team practice, clinics/open gym, and privates. And people act like we are somehow these horrid irresponsible parents.

So I always ask them what their DD/DS does. I usually get a list like: <insert random sport>, karate, dance, <insert random music thing>, boy/girl scouts, etc.

Then I ask them how many hours per week that takes. Answer is usually upwards of 10 per week, or more.

Then I smile and say, "so yours does a bunch of things for more hours than mine does 1?"

Tends to shut them up.

I admit though I am really tempted sometimes to say something more like, "so my kid does one thing a lot and is great at it, your does a bunch a little and how does that work for ya?"

But I dont.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

The look of sheer joy on DD's face last night when she did her squat on-jump to high bar & flyaway by herself - not spot !!!!

Makes it all worth it !!

 

[Granny Smith]

Well, I never did the home gym - not that dd didn't want to, but I always said that I bet the level 10s don't have a bar or a beam in their house. There just gets to a point where they can't do what they need to at home.

But, I can say that now that dd is older, honestly I really don't talk about it with people. The ones who are not in gym, will never understand and the ones who are in gym live life the way we do already! I hear people complain about the costs to play on my ds's travel soccer team for the yr - I think to myself that's 1 month's tuition at the gym.

Now by the grace of God both dh & I are employed, but if there was ever a time when things would be tough and we might have to consider taking dd out of gym, I would call on my family and ask them to help. Dd is too far along at this point to stop for financial reasons. If it was her not wanting to continue, that's different, but money will not keep her out of the gym. Crazy thing is, my Mom totally understand this... guess she's wacho just like all of us!!!

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I completely understand although other non-gym people do not understand. I even think other kids who are not gymnasts do not understand either. They think my daughter is crazy because she is in the gym 14 hours a week. My daughter has a mat and beam in the basement but our house is small so I actually have a single bar in my bedroom often my bed is the vault. Daughter wants a springboard and is even asking for a pit for Christmas ( Where would that go in the backyard!) People think I am crazy I am sure. What about the money spent on leotards for working out You know the Shawn Johnson and Nastia Luiken ones. When I see my daughters face light up it is all worth it. Plus they work so hard at this sport that it is hard to say no to them.

 

[emorymom]

I haven't had many comments to this point that were not friendly or really needed a reply. Everyone is different and I do well at scheduling and driving.

I think there are a lot of people in the mindset of a child's rec classes in all areas being 1x a week and them being well rounded. I'm all for well rounded but it's difficult for a child to progress at anything 1x a week.

I know for myself, it wasn't too long ago I knew nothing about gymnastics and it was difficult for me to fathom a young child working out X number of hours a week (6, 9, 12). Now it makes sense. I do understand how they are baffled.

Now the gyms don't always help. Lots of parents in my area put their kids in gym at one point or another and most parents feel like they have had a child take gymnastics. If the gyms just set up the rec programs as 2x a week programs then the kids would actually get nice and strong and start banging some skills and then they could decide whether to continue progressing in hours or just stay at 2-3 nice little workouts and focus on baseball. But instead there's the ever widening divide between the team kids and the rec kids and the parents are not shown the bridge across the divide. I expect many parents even have kids who are passionate, but not precocious and end up falling by the wayside because there's no guidance getting from rec to team.

 

[JessMom]

hee hee . . . I am really tickled by the direction of this post.

I have had problems in the past with people making nasty or rude comments.

but the original purpose of my post was really just to share a warm and fuzzy feeling I had watching DD so happy. And just knowing that is was all worth it.



On Friday I managed to catch one of those moments on tape. DD did FHS front pike and her coach came running over to her and scooped her up in her arms.

The gym closed on Saturday . . . so we had a nice break for Halloween . . . back to the waiting room for me tomorrow LOL . . . picked up a new book, looking forward to it