Parents Would you do it?

[Flip4funmom]

Some of you may remember me posting a few weeks ago about my son having an issue with another kid in his gym. well through a mis communication weslan ended up practicing with the older girls (probably 11-13 yes old) and it was noticed by me and the coach how much better he did. he was more focused and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. fast forward to today I got an email from his coach asking me if wes could try the class with the older boys (7-11) would you do it? weslan is only 4.5 yes old.

 

[skschlag]

I honestly, would not. that is a 2.5 year difference, and while he may be more focused than the average 4 year old, he may not be more focused than the average 11 yo, and he could end up being the kid that parents ask about. He would do well at first....honestly, but maybe not for long term.

 

[NutterButter]

How many hours per week would he be with the older kids? Is the group weighted towards the 7 year olds or are there more older kids? I have an 11 year old boy and would NOT want him around a 4 or 5 year old and this is for the sake of the younger boy. 11 year olds are well....11. They don't always say the most appropriate stuff.

 

[Madden3]

If the coach wants to try this, and you trust the coach, I do not think it unreasonable to consider this. I think either of my sons would have enjoyed practicing with older boys at that age. And having a "little brother" at practice to be considerate of might actually help some of the older kids focus/behave better.

I do think a talented child being pushed 'faster' than his maturity allows is not a good idea. But this might happen with any age child, and it does not sound like that is what is happening here? It sounds more like the coach is trying to find a practice group that would be best for your son, not pushing your son to advance faster than normal?

But there are certainly many potential downsides. Here are a few things off the top of my head I would clarify/think about first:

How many hours/how many days would your son practice? A 4 year old beginner who is a couple years from competing should probably not be practicing nearly as long or as often as more advanced boys typically would. I would also clarify conditioning expectations etc. as I imagine they should be different for your son than for older boys.

What would coach do to insure safety? In my experience boys roughhouse, push, and pick on each other to some degree, and that happens at gym practice like anywhere else. If everyone is much bigger than your son, or they decide he is a good target for teasing, that may make things hard for him. Standing on line waiting to 'go' on something is where this has been the worst at our gym. Especially around the pit which seems to scream to some boys "push someone into me!"

How are you going to feel about your 4 year old being exposed to the language used by typical 8-11 year old boys? I have had to have many talks with my sons over the years about 'gym talk' staying at the gym.

Are the older boys allowed on phones/other devices at practice or on breaks? This has been a major concern of mine over the years. Kids can and do bring up anything that is on the internet with these devices. Anything. And they often cannot wait to show their friends.

Any problem with him moving back to age level group if you decide this is not working?

I personally would not care about other parents and their concerns. If they have a problem with your kid practicing with their kids, they can take it up with the coach. I personally would much rather my 10 year old practice with a well behaved 4 year old than with a poorly behaved 12 year old.

 

[Flip4funmom]

Ok wow, there is a lot more to this then I first thought. he is currently in a 65 minute class once a week. the older class is a 90 minute class that he would be attending once a week. I am not sure of the average age of the kids I will definitely be asking his coach.

Coach is definitely not trying to push him to much he noticed how much more he seemed to enjoy the big Kids so offered it as an option. conditioning from what I understand is this.... my son will do as many of the same things as his ability allows just not as many.

Currently my son thankfully does not have the personality to accept teasing. he thinks he's just hilarious and the life of the party so I'm not to worried about that. from what I've seen they don't have much problem with discipline, coach says something good once and it's done, no more playing around.

I do worry a bit about the waiting part. he tends to try to find something else to when it's not his turn. I trust his coach to handle that within the gym though. his coach completely understands his age and how things he does are OK for his age.

I'm not sure about what the kids are allowed to have. we currently go on Saturdays so nothino is allowed in the gym except water. I don't know if it's different for after school classes. I would have no problem moving him back down I just want him where he's most comfortable and happy.

 

[skschlag]

When D was first on team, he had an opportunity several times to work with the older guys. He loved it, but it was not the best place for him. His behavior initially was fine, but the expectations for behavior were higher and he was not developmentally ready for that. ANd since the class was for older guys, it was an issue.

 

[Madden3]

'

he is currently in a 65 minute class once a week. the older class is a 90 minute class that he would be attending once a week.

OK, that sounds like a rec class length to me. Is this a rec class or team practice? I assumed your child was currently in some kind of preteam program and it was being considered for him to start going into a team practice.. So the issues I mentioned to be concerned about are things that came to mind thinking about a 4 year old at team practices (although I guess they could happen in rec as well.)

At our gym, kids under 6 are in Kindergym, actually a separate area of the gym. Those are 55 minute classes once a week (although anyone is free to put their child in more classes if they wanted- and since our boys loved gym so much, they both went 2X a week even when they were still in rec.) 6 and up are in regular rec, those are 90 minute classes also once a week. (Or more if desired.) If a kid is on team or preteam those are longer practices -starting at 2 hours- and frequency starts at 2-3 times a week. There are some preteam programs younger kids might do but I do not think the boys preteam was going on when we first started so I have no experience with that.

Anyway, when my youngest was about 4 and 3/4, and had been in kindergym for a year and was starting to look a little bored, I casually mentioned to one of the MAG coaches (who also taught younger DS in Kindergym as well as older DS who had just started on the team) that I wondered if he could start regular rec earlier than age 6. I was thinking maybe 5 and a half. But the coach immediately said it would be fine for my son to go into regular rec right away! I was kind of surprised, but he said he knew my son well and knew he would behave safely on the main gym floor, which was the biggest deal and why they did not have younger kids out there as a rule. So my son started regular rec classes twice a week (90 minutes each) before he turned 5. It was a multi-age group, starting with 6 year olds, (except my son) and at this point I have no memory of how high the ages ranged in his classes. I do not remember worrying about it. All the kids were the same "Level" meaning, Level 1 to start. Boys rec actually combined Level 1 and 2.

So that worked out fine for my son, he loved being in the 'big' gym. He is 10 and a Level 6 now.

 

[Flip4funmom]

He is technically on pre team but being so far out from competition age they keep his hours limited as to not burn him out.

 

[raenndrops]

I know that moving each of my gymmies up early worked out well for them.
OG moved from preschool classes to rec level 2 at 4.5 years old.
YG moved from parent & tot to preschool classes at 2yr3mo and to rec at 4.5 years. She was occasionally vaulting with team (old level 4) starting at just over 5 years old - when we didn't have many girls at that level at practice.
Both my girls did better with the older kids than with kids their age when they were young.

 

[OzZee]

Go for it, doesn't sound much more intensive. He's already shown he's better with older kids and if you don't think it's working you can always move back.
Can't know if it will work till you try.

If it was 12-15 hours a week team that would be a different story.

 

[sce]

He is technically on pre team but being so far out from competition age they keep his hours limited as to not burn him out.

This is very wise.

 

[Muddlethru]

My first reaction is to try it out, and it still is, particularly since it is only a rec class and for only 90 minutes. Whether it will work out is left to be seen. The success of this class switch depends on a lot of things; and they are all very personal to your son's situation. At 4-5 years old, I really would not care about which class he seems to perform better, but which class he enjoys most. Honestly, how he does or what he does in rec has very little application when and if he goes to team. Just my opinion,

 

[kitkat]

I have seen a few times where they put kids 3-5 years younger then the majority of the kids on the same team.

I am not speaking from the gymnastics point of view but from the social aspect.
These are the kids that get left out of functions because they are so young.
I understand that this is not about the social aspect but it plays such a huge part of a gymnast career.
I don't know if boys are the same as girls - but sleepover, movies, hanging out. The little ones were not invited and nor should a 15 year old be expect to invite a 9 or 10 year old to their birthday. They are two different stages of their social life.

If they are a couple of years apart - no big deal but 5 years could be tough.

Just my perspective as I have seen it at least twice in my dd journey.

 

[rosiekat]

25 additional minutes can be a lot of time for a kid that age. Also, you mentioned he goes on Saturday now, when I'm assuming he doesn't have other activities. If he changes to some time during the week, will it be on the same day as preschool or anything? That would also probably impact how well it works out. Just a couple of additional thoughts I didn't see mentioned.

 

[Jenny]

once a week go for it. Just tell the coach to let you know if there is a time they think it isn't working and agree to move him to a different class again.