Scream4IceCream
Proud Parent
I’ve learned so much on this forum and am now in need of some advice from all of you wise gym parents. So, here’s our (loooong) story...
My DD became interested in gymnastics at 3yo when she saw the 2016 Olympics. So I signed her up for a rec class at the nearest gym (1 hour/week). She enjoyed it and seemed to pick things up quickly (got her pullover by 3.5yo, had good balance, could keep her body tight, no fears). She was asked to try out for team and placed on the “Mini Team” when she turned 4yo (2 hours/week). She got her BHC and bridge kick over and was moved up to Level 2 after a few months (5 hours/week). (I’ve since learned bridging before 5yo isn’t recommended, but I didn’t know back then.) At this point, she was 4.5yo and too young to compete Level 2, but they wanted her to start learning the routines for the following year (she was moved up about halfway through their season). The next season she turned 5yo and competed Level 2 (6 hours/week during the summer and 5 hours/week during the school year). She loved competing and did well placing 1st AA, bars, and beam in the “6 & under” category in her first meet and had similar success the rest of the season.
Our gym holds conferences between parent, coach, and gymnast at the end of the competition season to discuss the plan for the following season. At our meeting this past spring, I was told that she was physically ready for Level 3, but they were concerned about her ability to focus during the longer practices (our L3 is 4 hours 3x per week during the summer and then goes down to 10 hours during the school year). They really wanted her to try L3 though because they told me that skills-wise that was where she belonged and because they were dropping their L2 program. I was told that the alternative to L3 would be pre-team which was going to try to prepare girls for L3 the following year, but would only practice a total of 3 hours/week. The coach specifically told me she didn’t want my DD to have to do pre-team because the limited hours wouldn’t give her the opportunity to get the skills and conditioning she needs to continue to advance. We agreed to try L3 and let my DD know that she really needed to focus.
Between the end of last season and the start of this season, her coach (who had been at our gym for over 20 years) moved to a competing gym. A new coach was assigned to the L3 group and she seemed very nice and happy to have my DD in her group. My DD started the 12 hour/week schedule and loved it. I spoke with the coach after a few weeks and she said my DD was doing well behavior-wise and skills-wise, but that sometimes she didn’t remember what to do at certain stations (they did a lot of circuits) or that sometimes she had to be reminded that it was her turn to vault (or whatever). It seemed to generally be going well though. Then mid-July the coach asked to meet with me. She said that DD was still doing well with behavior and skills, but that her focus hadn’t improved that much. She said that she was concerned that DD would have trouble keeping up once they started learning routines and wanted me to be aware that if she didn’t have the routines down, she wouldn’t score well and may be disappointed after the success of last season. She also said that she (the coach) was kind of struggling with giving my DD what she needed while giving the other girls what they needed (like having my DD ask her what to do at a station while she was assisting another girl). She said she wasn’t saying my DD couldn’t continue with L3, but that she wanted me to be aware of the challenges and have in the back of my mind the other options for this season. The other options presented were pre-team (which by that time had apparently changed to 6 hours/week and was supposed to prepare girls for L3 and L4 and is coached by the L4/L5 coach) or (since I said my DD would be devastated not to compete) Xcel Silver (also 6 hours/week). It seemed like between the two options, the coach was encouraging pre-team because they see my daughter having a future in the JO program.
I came home and had a brief conversation about focus with my DD. When she heard pre-team was on the table, she ran into her closet sobbing “Noooooo, not pre-team!!” The coach said she had her best practice of the season that night and almost as good the next night. She told me to have her “keep it up.” The coach was on vacation the following week. The week after that the owner stopped me as I was dropping my DD off and asked to speak with me. She also called the coach in and then told me that they had held a coaches’ meeting the night before to finalize placement and that they had decided to form a “special small new group” that my DD would be placed in. My curiosity was slightly piqued until I found out that it was basically a step below pre-team. It’s only going to meet for 3 hours/week with an Xcel coach and it sounds like the other gymnasts will be “talented” girls who are being “demoted” (so to speak) from pre-team and Xcel Bronze. She said my DD (the only one moving down from L3) will be the “most advanced” and it will be “great for her confidence.” (My DD does not lack confidence and seeing those around her doing harder skills actually motivates her.) I should have asked more questions, but I didn’t really say much of anything. I had already received two other pieces of bad news earlier that day and I was kind of numb. They said they were going to let the girls finish the summer with their current level and then start this new “pre-pre-team” when school started.
My daughter is going to be absolutely devastated. She is now going to be out of competition (which she loves) for 22 months. She is going to go from practicing 12 hours/week (and loving it - never complains about going, always has fun, etc.) to practicing 3 hours/week with kids supposedly below her skill level. She got so muscular this summer with the increased training time and now she is going to go back to less hours than she practiced at age 4. My husband spoke to the coach briefly last week about our concerns with this plan and she was very nice, but was basically like “trust us” she’s going to be drilling skills the whole time, etc. I don’t doubt the gym cares about her and has her best interests in mind. I just think we (her parents) have a different opinion on what’s best.
Now my back is against the wall because school year practices start this week and I haven’t told my DD anything. She has already absorbed a huge blow in that we recently told her she is switching schools this year and she is adjusting to that news. Her old school (which her brother still attends) started last week and she has had a hard time seeing him and all her friends go back to school and carry on without her. Her school starts this week and I know it will be a big adjustment (though I’m confident it’s the best thing for her and she will ultimately love it). I just don’t know how I can break this kid’s heart again, especially when I don’t necessarily agree with the decision. I’ve thought about several different ways this could play out, but would love to get some advice here. DH is sick of discussing it and no one else understands the “gym world.” Thank you so much for reading this novel and for any thoughts you have!
My DD became interested in gymnastics at 3yo when she saw the 2016 Olympics. So I signed her up for a rec class at the nearest gym (1 hour/week). She enjoyed it and seemed to pick things up quickly (got her pullover by 3.5yo, had good balance, could keep her body tight, no fears). She was asked to try out for team and placed on the “Mini Team” when she turned 4yo (2 hours/week). She got her BHC and bridge kick over and was moved up to Level 2 after a few months (5 hours/week). (I’ve since learned bridging before 5yo isn’t recommended, but I didn’t know back then.) At this point, she was 4.5yo and too young to compete Level 2, but they wanted her to start learning the routines for the following year (she was moved up about halfway through their season). The next season she turned 5yo and competed Level 2 (6 hours/week during the summer and 5 hours/week during the school year). She loved competing and did well placing 1st AA, bars, and beam in the “6 & under” category in her first meet and had similar success the rest of the season.
Our gym holds conferences between parent, coach, and gymnast at the end of the competition season to discuss the plan for the following season. At our meeting this past spring, I was told that she was physically ready for Level 3, but they were concerned about her ability to focus during the longer practices (our L3 is 4 hours 3x per week during the summer and then goes down to 10 hours during the school year). They really wanted her to try L3 though because they told me that skills-wise that was where she belonged and because they were dropping their L2 program. I was told that the alternative to L3 would be pre-team which was going to try to prepare girls for L3 the following year, but would only practice a total of 3 hours/week. The coach specifically told me she didn’t want my DD to have to do pre-team because the limited hours wouldn’t give her the opportunity to get the skills and conditioning she needs to continue to advance. We agreed to try L3 and let my DD know that she really needed to focus.
Between the end of last season and the start of this season, her coach (who had been at our gym for over 20 years) moved to a competing gym. A new coach was assigned to the L3 group and she seemed very nice and happy to have my DD in her group. My DD started the 12 hour/week schedule and loved it. I spoke with the coach after a few weeks and she said my DD was doing well behavior-wise and skills-wise, but that sometimes she didn’t remember what to do at certain stations (they did a lot of circuits) or that sometimes she had to be reminded that it was her turn to vault (or whatever). It seemed to generally be going well though. Then mid-July the coach asked to meet with me. She said that DD was still doing well with behavior and skills, but that her focus hadn’t improved that much. She said that she was concerned that DD would have trouble keeping up once they started learning routines and wanted me to be aware that if she didn’t have the routines down, she wouldn’t score well and may be disappointed after the success of last season. She also said that she (the coach) was kind of struggling with giving my DD what she needed while giving the other girls what they needed (like having my DD ask her what to do at a station while she was assisting another girl). She said she wasn’t saying my DD couldn’t continue with L3, but that she wanted me to be aware of the challenges and have in the back of my mind the other options for this season. The other options presented were pre-team (which by that time had apparently changed to 6 hours/week and was supposed to prepare girls for L3 and L4 and is coached by the L4/L5 coach) or (since I said my DD would be devastated not to compete) Xcel Silver (also 6 hours/week). It seemed like between the two options, the coach was encouraging pre-team because they see my daughter having a future in the JO program.
I came home and had a brief conversation about focus with my DD. When she heard pre-team was on the table, she ran into her closet sobbing “Noooooo, not pre-team!!” The coach said she had her best practice of the season that night and almost as good the next night. She told me to have her “keep it up.” The coach was on vacation the following week. The week after that the owner stopped me as I was dropping my DD off and asked to speak with me. She also called the coach in and then told me that they had held a coaches’ meeting the night before to finalize placement and that they had decided to form a “special small new group” that my DD would be placed in. My curiosity was slightly piqued until I found out that it was basically a step below pre-team. It’s only going to meet for 3 hours/week with an Xcel coach and it sounds like the other gymnasts will be “talented” girls who are being “demoted” (so to speak) from pre-team and Xcel Bronze. She said my DD (the only one moving down from L3) will be the “most advanced” and it will be “great for her confidence.” (My DD does not lack confidence and seeing those around her doing harder skills actually motivates her.) I should have asked more questions, but I didn’t really say much of anything. I had already received two other pieces of bad news earlier that day and I was kind of numb. They said they were going to let the girls finish the summer with their current level and then start this new “pre-pre-team” when school started.
My daughter is going to be absolutely devastated. She is now going to be out of competition (which she loves) for 22 months. She is going to go from practicing 12 hours/week (and loving it - never complains about going, always has fun, etc.) to practicing 3 hours/week with kids supposedly below her skill level. She got so muscular this summer with the increased training time and now she is going to go back to less hours than she practiced at age 4. My husband spoke to the coach briefly last week about our concerns with this plan and she was very nice, but was basically like “trust us” she’s going to be drilling skills the whole time, etc. I don’t doubt the gym cares about her and has her best interests in mind. I just think we (her parents) have a different opinion on what’s best.
Now my back is against the wall because school year practices start this week and I haven’t told my DD anything. She has already absorbed a huge blow in that we recently told her she is switching schools this year and she is adjusting to that news. Her old school (which her brother still attends) started last week and she has had a hard time seeing him and all her friends go back to school and carry on without her. Her school starts this week and I know it will be a big adjustment (though I’m confident it’s the best thing for her and she will ultimately love it). I just don’t know how I can break this kid’s heart again, especially when I don’t necessarily agree with the decision. I’ve thought about several different ways this could play out, but would love to get some advice here. DH is sick of discussing it and no one else understands the “gym world.” Thank you so much for reading this novel and for any thoughts you have!