I think you have to take a step back and evaluate what's really going on. You might just be going through a rough patch that can be overcome with time and determination. You also might just be done. If you step back and find out that you really don't want to do gymnastics anymore, you have to let yourself be done. I learned that the hard way.
In May of 2008, I found out I was a great pole vaulter. This was validated just 3 weeks before YMCA nationals. I was a junior in high school, level 7. I'd hardly been to gym at all(at the beginning of the season, I made every practice, but as I started succeeding at track, gym took a backseat) during track season, and suddenly wasn't sure if I ever wanted to go back. But I competed at nationals, did well, and decided I could finish out my senior year. Summer was fun-learned a bunch of new skills and even was ready to compete level 8. Fall came with 6AP classes, no lunch break, running a charity branch, coaching, quartet practice, 5am private workouts with my pole vault coach, an internship with the Obama campaign, applying for college and scholarships (aka figuring out what on earth I want to do with my life)and of course gym. I was constantly exhausted and was having mental breakdowns about once a week. I started making excuses, not wanting to go to gym. The truth was I didn't love it anymore and it scared me. Gym had been my passion for so many years, and I was still in love with the idea of being in love with it. When once I had awoke in the morning excited to go to practice, the very thought now made me ache. Everything just hurt. It wasn't fun. What was really sad is that I was actually doing extremely well; placing first on beam and vault at early meets. But that wasn't enough for me, so I finally admitted to myself that I was done before the Christmas break. I came to watch my team compete at the home meet in mid January and cried a lot. It wasn't that I regretted quitting. I felt like I had abandoned them. They all looked up to me so much and the second they mentioned how much they missed me, we all lost it. I kept coaching until the summertime when I switched jobs to make more money for college. Not being a gymnast made it easier to focus on pole vault in the spring, too, and I am truly exciting about the upcoming track season.
People here at school ask me if I regret quitting. My answer is always no. I look back on my time in gymnastics favorably and I realize that it was the right thing to do at the time. They also ask me if I miss it. I say that it's complicated. I miss what it once was, but not what it became. The hardest thing in the world for me was admitting that I didn't want to do gymnastics anymore. I fought it so hard. I wanted to love it, but I couldn't force passion. If I would change anything about my chaotic senior year of high school, I would have quit after nationals. I discussed this with a mentor/teacher/track coach of mine, and she said simply 'Hindsight is always 20/20'.
I've always been a huge believer in fate, and I feel like someday, if it's meant to be, I will find my way back to the sport with a renewed passion. For now, though, I am content to have found the joys of running cross country and continuing my pole vaulting.
It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now, and it's been an emotional journey. I live my life with no regrets and I offer my story to you to help you think about your own life.
And for your consideration:
YouTube - gymnastics training poem
YouTube - Do You Remember When?
My heart goes out to you as you struggle through this tough time.