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Thank you for your replies. Of course, I felt that was correct, but wanted to make sure I was not just being an overprotective parent. I am not sure what is going on. My daughter and her teammate were injured and unable to attend this meet. The girls were told if they did well they would have a little party when they got back. The coach told the injured girls to be sure to cheer them on because they would be part of the party, too. Well, today coach stood by as the girls told my dd that they had decided not to include them since they did not contribute at the competition. One girl started to deliver the news, but could not get herself to say it, so another finished. She said something like she knows that if she did not compete she would be embarrassed to enjoy the reward so they are saving them from this by saying they are not invited.
My dd believes the coach just simply does not believe they are injured. There are no casts, no braces or anything visible. Both girls have back injuries. (Mine has had two sets of x-rays, a bone scan and MRI and is about to have another MRI next week. This injury was from a very hard fall she took when ice-skating this summer. She has been through PT, seemed to be better, but is now hurting again. Her orthopedic surgeon believes there is a problem and has talked about putting her in a brace.)
The owner is a great guy. He really makes each girl feel important and is very positive. I do not believe he would condone this, but I think he is in the dark. I am trying to figure out how to bring this up with him.
Unfortunately, it does seems like she is too chicken and wanted the girls deliver the message. On Monday, DD asked coach how the girls did at the meet. Coach told DD that it was not her place to tell her, that she would have to wait and hear it from the girls. DD says coach stood by, in definite earshot, as team delivered the news.If the coach said they would be part of this then why are the girls making the decisions and announcements here? Is coach too chicken to say she changed her mind and put the girls up to this?? I would just call the owner and explain just what you said here about the coach saying they would be included and see what they say.
I feel this is totaly unexceptable. And should definitley be dealt with. Its kind of a catch 22 here. Your DD should NOT be treated that way. A team is a team and should remain a team through good and bad. And if she is being treated that way the problem should be rectified..but then on the other hand..how is she going to feel or be treated at this party if she ends up going after they made it clear they didnt feel she deserved to be there. Are they going to make it worse on her. Very hard place to be. I would definitley say something, but Im not sure I would send her to the party. Sounds like Im talking out of both sides of my mouth huh? Im sorry you DD is going through this. Poor baby.
Little Girls can be MEAN!!!! I always say TEAM= Together Everyone Achieves More!!! I am not sure if the coach actually had the girls say that or some of the girls just decided that!They are not always Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!!!!And If your coach has quite a bit of experience which I assume she/he does I promise she knows injuries are not always visible and do not always require external fixtures!
Your daughter is part of this TEAM, she should definitely be included. I am so appalled that a coach would encourage this type of mean behavior!!! The fact that a girl is injured should have no bearing at all on whether or not she is included in team activities. If you really wanted to nit pick, I guess you could tell the coach that actually only the top 3 girls scores counted towards the team award, so only those girls should be invited to the party anyway!!! .... just kidding..... Seriously tho, I think I'd have to seriously think about the influence this type of coach is having on my daughter... maybe checking out the philosophy of another gym is called for.