- Admin
- #1
Just something for everyone to read (you have to click on it so you can read all of it... there is much more)...
Here is the whole thread from Twitter...
Here is the whole thread from Twitter...
If you are wondering how your child can be abused through the
@USAGym system, I'm going to tell you. You can ask almost anyone that's been through it and the process is almost textbook. (1)
Your child starts at probably 4 or 5 with a super fun, likely young and female coach. They love gymnastics and spend every waking moment doing it. They say they are going to go to the Olympics. You don't believe them but they are 5, so who cares? (2)
At some point, you are approached and told your daughter is special, or shows potential or promise or whatever. They want your child to join a group for promising young gymnasts. Your child begs you. You say okay. They love it after all. (3)
Your child practices more and more. They still love it. They beg you to bring them to open gym on the weekend to practice even more. They start learning actual skills that are impressive. You start to think your kid might have a special talent. (4)
They start to compete for real. No more ribbons just for showing up. Your kid does good. Often wins. It feels great. Your kid is happy and you are proud. Gymnastics become a huge part of your life, but it's worth it because your child is so happy. (5)
About once or twice a year, a higher level gymnast seems to quit out of nowhere. It seems odd, but you aren't about gossip, so you just leave it alone. You might here about a disagreement of some kind and it's usually blamed on an irrational parent. (6)
At some point, you kid complains that the coach was mean but if you ask for specifics, you either get nothing, or something than sounds like a teacher or coach asking a kid to do something they need to do. It doesn't sound inappropriate. (7)
As time goes on, you learn there is a "mean" coach and a "nice" coach. The mean coach is often grumpy and seems harsh. Not a people person, but clearly skilled with gymnastics. The nice coach is fun and bubbly and adores your kid. (8)
If your kid is having a bad day, they can talk to the nice coach and the nice coach will make it better. They admit to you that the mean coach is a jerk and not a great co-worker. You commiserate together. You feel heard. (9)
Finally, the mean coach does something that is just not appropriate. Maybe it's an off-comment that is really demoralizing or your kid gets injured while they were spotting them. You confront them (10)
They tell you it was an accident or they were having a bad day or your child misinterpreted it. It sounds a little sketchy, but not completely implausible. It has never happened before. You give them the benefit of the doubt. (11)
Things are great for weeks or months. Then you get a call from the nice coach telling you that the mean coach said your child was rude or disrespectful or not following directions. The nice coach thought you would want to know because you are a good parent. (12)
You lecture your kid. They admit they were rude but say the mean coach was extra mean that day. It sounds like an excuse and there are no specifics. You encourage your kid to be a better listener. (13)
Things seem fine, but sometimes your kid doesn't seem to have the same drive they used to. If you mention quitting though, they freak out. You let it go. They might mention an event they are struggling with or a skill. You assume it's that and nothing else. (14)
For the most part things seem to be going good. Your child still complains sometimes about the mean coach, but nothing serious. You occasionally get reports that your child was disrespectful to the mean coach but it seems like they just have very different personalities.(15)
After all, your child practically spends more time at the gym than at home, so how can you expect them to get along with everyone, especially a grump coach, all the time? It practically like family relationship dynamics. (16)
Eventually the bad coach takes something too far. A comment that is clearly inappropriate, dropping your child while spotting in a way that seems suspect, using excessive conditioning as punishment. You complain and say this can't happen again. You are told it won't. (17)
It was a mistake after all. But you should know that your child has lots of potential, but is also not the easiest personality to deal with. You know this already. Your child is a boundary pusher and assertive. It's part of why they are successful in this sport. (18)
You acknowledge your child is not a saint and you will talk to them. You do, and your child accuses you or taking the coaches side. You assure them you just want everyone to do their best. You suggest quitting at the end of the season. Your child refuses. (19)
You reach your breaking point. Either something big happens, or too many smaller things keep happening, or you witness something egregious happening to someone else. It's just too much. You give notice. (20)
Everyone jumps on you and your child and starts spreading horrible rumors about what a horrible child you have and what a horrible parent you are. You've been forcing your child to do gymnastics against their will this whole time. (21)
Every parent there has always hated your child, even though they've always told you how much they admire them. Just last week, they invited your child over for a sleepover. But yeah, they've always hated your child and you. (22)
Anything you say to try to explain or warn the other parents is called out as a lie. You can have documentation. It doesn't matter. You can have witnesses. Doesn't matter. (23)
After you and your child have basically lost all the friendships you've built over 5 or more years in a matter of moments that still isn't enough. They will stalk you online. Create fake profiles to harass you. (24)
They will reach out to your child's new gym if you try to move or other organizations you belong to, if they quit. They will "warn" these organizations about you. You have been banished. (25)
Once our child quits, they start telling you all the egregious things that were actually happening there. You get sick to your stomach once you realize what you allowed your child to go through. You had no idea. (26)
There are literally parents that sit and watch every practice. Why didn't they say anything? How did this happen? You start talking to other people that left and realize they had an almost identical experience. (27)
But nothing ever changes. #decertifyusag
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