If you can't beat 'em, then join them. The first thing you want to do is let them behave like children, and if you consider it for a moment..... that exactly what they're trying to do and partly what you're trying to suppress. I was just like that, and had to have everything happen just the way I thought it should.... like teaching them skills and showing them how to do them the right way, and keeping them quiet, well behaved, and standing still when there was a line to stand in.
I was totally screwing it up with out considering the possibility that I was the problem and they were the solution. Figure it this way, they're the kids and the people that have to fun in order to learn, because kids learn by making observations while they play. They don't learn well when somebody tries to teach them stuff, and it;s that way for a few reasons.......
First is they want to play, so much so that it's almost the only thing on their minds. When you think they're not listening, what's really happening is they're trying to figure out when the fun stuff is gonna happen. Imagine this, every word that comes out of your mouth is filtered through their fun meter and is saved to memory because it's fun, or discarded because it isn't.
So really, the big effort to be taught something should be you learning what 3 and 4 year olds get a kick out of. The next step is to teach them how to have that fun in a safe manner. Once that's done try to adapt their fun stuff into something that resembles gymnastics. That's all it takes to get them off to a good start, and likely it will also please their parents. In the end you'll be pretty happy too, because once they go through the fun to learn-learn to work process they'll pick up skills faster than you thought possible.
In a nutshell????? Be the Alpha kid!