Parents Anyone with experience with stress fractures in their back? From 9/9/17 (Update)

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VanessaJV

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In September of last year, I posted the titled question. We would soon find out we were dealing with quite a bit more than what I thought the day of my post (the day after Urgent care). It turned out DD had a clean break on one side, a stress fracture on the other, and slippage of one vertebrae over another. Since that time, she went through almost a 6 month total leave from the gym, bracing, pt, a 3.5 month come back, and then a complete break on the other side that was a stress fracture. She is left with two complete breaks that will never heal.
At the time I posted my first post, I had several of you who had reached out and left messages of support and concern. I appreciated it greatly as I was not noticeably active on the board. I always have been a watcher and like things and posted responses here and there. It has been a joy to be a part of this board the last couple of years and too see everyone's different opinions, experiences, and journeys. Many of you have helped me along the way without even knowing it. Before I step away from this world for a bit, I wanted to thank those I don't even know and share the thoughts I have shared with my family and friends on Facebook. This gymnastics stuff is intense and crazy some days. But what an awesome journey it has been!!

*My thoughts with family and friends are in the first reply... not enough character space :p

 
A picture. It took me a week and a half to decide on a picture that could fit with the changes in the family that I planned on sharing. To be honest, it is probably more than the picture that it took this long… but the picture mattered.

As most of you know, Hannah suffered a serious back injury in September of last year. This resulted in almost 6 months completely out of the gym and away from the sport she loves. Hannah was able to return and she had a solid 3.5 months return. She had pretty much gained almost all of her skills back and was on her way to gaining new ones. Then the unfortunate happened; Hannah reinjured her back. This time would require less time off. However, there were many things to take into consideration.

On Wednesday, July 18th, Michael and I had to make the most difficult decision as Hannah’s parents that we have ever made. Hannah needed to retire as a gymnast. It had been an interesting day that day. Hannah had yet another doctor’s appointment, this time four weeks past this last injury. They had run a different series of imaging that had not been done in the past. The results were disappointing, yet not surprising. The doctor said she could return the next day to gymnastics… but… That would be a big “but.” Long story short… Hannah had a limited amount of time before she physically could no longer do the sport. During this time, there could be a number of times she would need to start and stop due to pain. Since she has two complete breaks that will never heal, her vertebrae will continue to slip and once it slips too far, she will need surgery. It will continue to slip just because of growing. However, the sport will speed the process along. All this being said, we left the office ready to return to gymnastics the next day.

I texted a fellow gym mom that afternoon to set up rides for Hannah the following day. She was surprised Hannah was returning so soon. I explained what the doctor said and made plans for the next day. A bit later I reread the text. For the first time since September of last year, I had a moment of clarity. “What are we doing?! I thought to myself. I spoke with Hannah later and asked what her thoughts were. She responded in typical Hannah fashion, yelling that she didn’t want to quit. She yelled, “I will never choose to quit!!! You and Daddy have to make that choice!!!”

Oh the power in that statement… I had wanted so badly over the past ten months for Hannah to make this choice. I was expecting her to make an impossible choice. An adult choice. I kept saying, “I need this to die a natural death. She will get sick of having to keep starting and stopping. She won’t want to keep falling behind. She will find other interests. She will get to that age where they want to be done.” So completely naïve I was being. Hannah had told me once, “I will do gymnastics until I die! I will die on the mats.” The truth behind that statement is more real than most can understand.

We knew Hannah was different pretty early on in this sport. She had a passion that was undeniable. She had a determination and a drive that almost anyone could see. She needed to be the best, which had its benefits and sometimes its downfalls. She lived and breathed gymnastics. No matter how much I did not want this sport to become her identity, in the end it did. The majority of her clothes read “gymnast” in one way or another despite most gymmies at her point are past that. She waited anxiously for gymnastics meets on tv and made sure we dvr’ed any we would miss. Her coach never needed to ask if Hannah wanted to do the extra training hours, class, or clinic. She knew the answer before hand and she knew that we as parents would agree. In almost seven years she never wanted to miss the occasional practice. The irony in that would be the day she finally said she did not want to go to practice because of pain in her back, we knew something was really wrong. It was September 9, 2017; the day that would change her gymnastics career forever.

So here we sit. It’s been a week and a half since Mike and I had to be parents and make a very painful choice for our daughter. It will be a while before any sort of homeostasis returns. I think it is difficult for most others to really understand the gravity of this change in our lives. But it is different than anything our family as a whole has experienced. For Hannah, it is her greatest loss. It is the loss of her closest friends. It is the loss of amazing coaches;. Watching her say goodbye to her current coach was one of the most difficult things I have seen, and something I would never have envisioned even three years ago. They have had an incredible journey. It is a loss of the sport she woke up every morning to do for almost the last seven years. It is the loss of her home. It is the loss of her second family. In her eyes, it is the loss of herself.

As a parent, watching your child go through this grief is very difficult. So difficult, it makes it almost impossible to discuss your own pain and grief that is occurring simultaneously. It feels shameful or selfish. I feel guilty because “it’s the kids activity.” But that fact is, this journey of Hannah’s was very much a family journey. The gymnastics path Hannah chose to take involved a commitment from her many adults are incapable of making. But it ultimately was a family commitment. We started missing family dinners when Hannah was in Kindergarten. To say we have lived on an “interesting” meal plan for the last several years is an understatement. My first couple of years of gymnastics involved sitting in the “fish bowl,” aka, viewing room. The 35-40-minute drive one way really seemed a bit much to leave the gym while she practiced. I would learn as years passed, doing that drive back and forth twice a day can save sanity!! When I began in my career, I was lucky enough to have a job that allowed me the ability to work around Hannah’s very demanding gym schedule.

I would meet many Moms during my time at the gym. Most of them crazy gym moms that have no desire to admit it. But several of those crazy gym moms have stolen a piece of my heart… and I am glad they have it. Mike and I grew to love meet season. We got to know the other competitors from other teams and would follow how they were doing as well. We loved the team comradery and enjoyed the fact our daughter was growing up with the amazing girls on her team. We could not have asked for Hannah to spend 20-27 hours a week all year around with a more special group of young women. The character of these ladies far exceeds the expectations anyone could have for a group of 11-12 year olds. We know much of this has to do with the wonderful families they come from. We will grieve the loss of those families and the enjoyments of the sport. We will restructure how things work in our family and try and enjoy a more “typical” schedule.

More than anything, I will miss watching Hannah perform and compete. I will never see her do another floor routine with that huge smile and flare she had. She couldn’t tumble worth a darn, but she sure could catch anyone’s eye with her presentation. I will never see Hannah do her bar routine again. When she came back after her first injury, bars had really become her strength. We were so excited to see where she was going with it. She had gotten taller and was beginning to look so long and beautiful on those bars. I will never see another beam routine. My little beam queen. She had owned that beam since she was a little girl. No fear! If she put it on a floor, she would put it on a beam. Some how that 4-inch beam, four feet in the air, never scared her. I will never see her vault again. I can’t believe I am even saying this, but this makes me the saddest. That vault was her nemesis. It had caused more problems for her than anything else. But Hannah would never have given up. She does not give up.

Which leads me back to Hannah. We had serious worries about removing her from gymnastics. But we also knew we had no other option. We were just delaying the inevitable, with a lot of heartache in between now and the nearing end. I have had some time to process it all and one phrase keeps coming back to my mind; #foreveragymnast. What started as a recreational activity to help Hannah with some things when she was 4, quickly turned into a world we never saw coming. Despite the ups and downs, some crazy insane moments, emotional breaking points, and the disappointing ending, I would not change a thing. Gymnastics has taught Hannah more in this seven years than she could have ever learned doing something else. She has learned the value of hard work and commitment. Hannah has learned to deal with great wins and devastating losses. She has learned to stay competitive while also being a great teammate. She has learned to lead and to be led. She has learned to be coached. But most importantly, she has learned perseverance. Hannah IS forever a gymnast. Hannah WILL persevere.


At the beginning of this post I discussed needing a picture for this post. The picture I chose was Hannah in her first leo. It was a picture before she had actually taken a gymnastics class. We had no idea what that leo would represent just a year or so later when she began. Today we also do not know what lies ahead in Hannah’s journey. There will be no more gymnastics videos from me on here. But I promise there will be many more videos of her adventures to come… Because Hannah never gives up.

Forever Your Crazy Gym Mom,
Vanessa
Hannah.jpg
 
Know that there are many in this group who have walked this path. It will get better and both you and your daughter will find a new, even possibly better normal. It will take time so allow yourself the space to process everything. This experience was not for naught. She will carry all the positive attributes for the rest of her life.
 
My DD retired from gymnastics at 13, having been In gymnastics for 10 years, 8-years on team. She had had a string of injuries — gymnast wrist, osgood schlatters, etc. — but they aren’t really what drove her out. She had gone from being gymnastics obsessed to simply feeling done. Even with her retiring on her own terms, it was so hard to imagine her future without gymnastics. She has really come into herself over the last two years. Plus, she has taken that gymnast determination, drive, and focus and put it to good use in all areas of her life. And we love family dinners. I’m so sorry that your DD was forced out by injury, and I hope that her back does much better than expected now that the decision has been made. Hugs.
 
I am so sorry. The sport is brutal. I will be honest and say because of all the horror stories and injuries, I really dislike the sport! I wish your family the best during this time. I have no idea how old your child is or what level she was l, but would the gym allow her to assist with coaching? It would be so great to keep her in the sport someway, but at the same time I do get that for some this would be way too raw and painful.
 
I'm so sorry! We have had to make the same call - for the same reasons - for our ds with a different sport just this month as well. It is devastating for all of us. But you only get 1 back and you must protect it and keep it as healthy as you can for as long as possible.
 
Gut wrenching. Thank you for sharing your eloquent story and difficult journey. All the best to your Hannah. And come back to share with us where her new adventures take her!
 
That is such a beautifully eloquent letter. Thank you for sharing it with us. I know how hard and guy wrenching it was to make this decision and for what it’s worth I believe you not only made the right choice but you made the only choice that you could. Very proud of you. Wishing her much success in her future endeavors!
 
I am so sorry. The sport is brutal. I will be honest and say because of all the horror stories and injuries, I really dislike the sport! I wish your family the best during this time. I have no idea how old your child is or what level she was l, but would the gym allow her to assist with coaching? It would be so great to keep her in the sport someway, but at the same time I do get that for some this would be way too raw and painful.
She is 11. She did not compete last season due to injury. She competed level 8 the season before. She is bound and determined she will be back to coach at 16. It is hard to know what will come since she has so many formative years ahead still.
 
Thank you all for your replies. This is definitely a process. But we are taking one day at a time. She had a great tuba lesson today :p She is such a tiny little thing, but is determined she will take on that monster!
 
Heartbreaking to hear your family's situation. Your letter is beautiful and I think it will help many people. I hope Hannah finds another passion soon. She has an amazing mom and I have no doubt her future will be filled with happiness and success!
 
I am sure a girl with her determination will find many paths to success. I often think of my DD as a missile that ended up pointed at gymnastics. I often wish we'd pointed that determined energy towards robotics or math. Fewer injuries and life skills in addition to life lessons. Now you can.
 
What a wonderful letter!! I’m sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like Hannah is a wonderful young lady who will go far in life!
 
Just sitting here in tears reading your post.....regardless of the unfortunate circumstances, I love that you are able to look back on the beauty of her journey and all that it taught her. My dd is also facing a lot of uncertainty, having been recently diagnosed with Perthes disease. She's determined to hang in there but we still don't know what her long term prognosis will be. Please know that we are thinking of you and Hannah and we can't wait to hear what is next for her.
 
We had a boy on team who fractured his back on one side and had a defect on the other. He took 3 months off and tried to come back but the pain stopped him. He's still there every day only now as a coach. Our gym lets the boys work at 15....He's almost 17 now.
 

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