Ok.. well I'm stressed, worn out, overwhelmed, and tired all day, every day. I'm not some hard core elite gymnast, I'm a level 7 but I want to be one of those hard core gymnasts. I've been working my butt off every day I'm in gym (which 4 days a week 3 1/2- 4 hours.) I want to be the best I can be. I have dreams of going to the Olympics and I really want them to come true. However, I'm a bit old to be deciding this now. I'm 14, and I'm going into high-school. But I believe I have the determination and the drive to really be the best that I can be (I just hope it's Olympic level....) Anyways, I'm not your average gymnast, I'm 5'4" and that is huge disadvantage for me. I quit for a year and a half when I was in fifth grade which triggered a growth spurt. If I hadn't quit I would've been a level 9 by now. I'm not even joking or exaggerating. I was great as a kid. Until I fell on bars doing a squat on. I didn't grab the bar and landed flat on my back and there was no mat there. I'm over that now but when your young, something like that kind of scars you and I'm afraid of bars. I believe the only thing keeping me from moving forward and doing the things I'm capable of doing is my mind. I am extremely mental and I over think everything and I don't know how to stop it. I'm sick of it yet I can't stop being afraid. I beat myself up about not doing the things I know I can do and I literally make myself cry because I make myself feel so bad. It's ridiculous but it's what happens. I can barely do a baby giant because I'm afraid to cast bigger. I don't know what I'm afraid I just am. I'm so frustrated and I want to show my coaches I have what it takes but it gets so hard. I'm about ready to cry right now.. well that's my venting. sigh...