Choosing Gymnastics Over School

[GetaGrip]

I recently applied to Stanford Online High School to take advanced courses and help my chances of being accepted to a good college. I was accepted, however, there was no way my family could pay the $9,800 per year attendance fee, so my parents agreed to apply for financial aid.

With roughly a few days left to turn in the financial aid forms, I asked my mom if she had them done, to which she replied that this was not anything I needed to concern myself with and to focus on my own life. This might sound normal to most people, but my mom is not one to hide things from me. Money, family problems, you name it, we have a very open relationship.

Because of this, I had a very hard time "leaving it alone", so to say. But I did, which in hindsight was probably not a good idea. A week after the financial aid due date, my mom finally admitted that she never even started the forms, and that she had no idea where to start.

I was shocked, but too busy trying to turn in the forms to be upset. Within a day we had the forms turned in, and I thought that I preserved my chance at attending the online high school.

However, a few days ago when we received the financial aid letter, we hit a very big problem. Because we turned the form in late they decided, financial aid and all, we would still have to pay $9,000 per year.

I begged and pleaded my parents to try, but both posed the same ultimatum at me: Online High School or Gymnastics. To be honest it wasn't very hard to pick gymnastics, but it still killed me inside to lose the biggest opportunity of my life.

And to top it off I found out at Regionals.

I'm sorry if that this is so long and most likely unrelated, but this incident is making me hate that I do gymnastics. Not enough to quit, but enough to where I notice every little thing it stunts, like how I can't do other sports or buy nice things or even have a little bit of free time. All because of the $400 check my parents send to my gym once a month. Part of me hates the fact that my parents use gymnastics as more of an excuse than anything else.

Anyways, thank you for reading, I just really needed to get this out.

 

[pattymello]

Unless you plan on making a career out of gymnastics you should choose school.

 

[bookworm]

I don't really get this...you were going to do on line high school to the tune of $9000 (which is not cheap) to get into a good school, and your parents have limited finances to spend on school and gym, so you were given the choice. Is the high school you're at so dreadful that it would preclude you from getting into a good school or were you interested in the on line HS for other reasons? With a limited amount of money to spend, choices have to be made, and sometimes we have a hard time when the choice goes against what we hoped for...

 

[wallinbl]

Most of us parents want to give our kids the things that they want, especially when they are "good" things like an education or a sport they are passionate about. Money only goes so far. Houses, cars, food, insurance, clothing, healthcare, saving for retirement, taxes, etc are all expensive and take a toll on your ability to do the things that you want to do. Life is full of trade offs you wish you didn't have to make, especially when those trade offs involve having to tell your kid you can't do something for them. Each time this happens, you lose a little bit of that hope you had of fulfilling all your child's dreams and giving them all the things you thought your parents didn't give you. You start out with all these great dreams of how you're going to do it and what you're going to do, and little by little, you make mistakes or life prevents you from doing what you hoped.

There are many amazing things about being a parent that make it fantastic, but there are also plenty of times when you have tremendous disappointment for your child, and those are really hard. Have some understanding and compassion for your parents.

 

[bogwoppit]

NO matter how good my child was at any sport education would come first and you would not have a choice. I get that you love gym, but competing gym is not a career and will not put a roof over your head in twenty years. Unless you make a bajillion from sponsorships after winning an olympic medal.

You need to go to school period. Gym is the icing on the cake, and you know I love gym.

P.S. My youngest wants a pony really badly, she rides, we have a farm. But we cannot afford it, she isn't getting a pony, she is getting braces. Our choice, our money.

 

[emorymom]

I don't really know why you wanted the private school, but there are free online high school courses in California, as in most states. You don't have to pay to have a wide choice of online high school courses for your college application portfolio. The reality is that private colleges are mostly concerned with board scores and geographic and racial diversity, and then other experiences you bring besides academics. Looking at transcripts from kids who went to similar prep schools and did similar extracurriculars gets really boring.

 

[GymBee97]

First breath in, breath out...... Now your parents are not going to make a choice for you or your education that would be detrimental in any way to you succeeding in your future.

Is there something wrong with the academics at the local school you must be attending that you wanted to do online courses? There are also lots of online options out there that are cheaper for high school courses. My DD's High school has courses available on line for their students to take all year. In the summer time there is a fee of about $100 - $200 per course to pay for the teacher over the summer.

This is one of those "welcome to the real world" lessons that teens and young adults have to learn how to handle. You can't always get what you want. How old are you and what grade are you in?

For my family School ALWAYS comes before anything else but that doesn't mean that an online High School is the way I would go for my DD even if she wanted it. We have a great high school in our town and there is no reason for doing it onlilne. Maybe your parents are looking at that too. For FREE you can go to a perfectly good HS that will really get you into a college of your choice, so why pay to do it online? My DD is always asking for things that are expensive and my answer is also well you can do it but that means you have to stop gymnastics. There are only so many dollars on the money tree and these extra things that really aren't necessary (but kids really really want) have to be limited. Your folks probably talked about it and thought there is a perfectly good HS in town where kids go and get good grades and get into good colleges she can attend for free why pay for this online thing. I know that is what I would be thinking. I'm sure from a parent view point they want the best for you but what you see as the best as a teenager with limited life experiences may not be what they see as the best with much more life experience and probably already been down the college road.

Grades and fancy schools aren't the only criteria for college today. Heck half the ones my Son looked at just 2 years ago didn't even consider the SAT's or any of those tests - they would take the scores but it wasn't the only thing nor the most important thing they looked at. They wanted to see about a B average grade, community involvement, involvement in things besides academics (clubs, sports, etc) but most of all they wanted to see what the recommendations said. My son was awarded a 4 year scholarship that you can't sign up for and has to be given to you by the school, not because of the school he went to, the grades he got (average of a B), the SAT scores (average scores) but because he was active in the community, has outstanding recommendations and was an Eagle Scout - all qualities they look for in their students. Also being an Eagle Scout said more about him than any other thing they looked at. (at least that is what they told us)

I would start looking at colleges you think you want to go to and see what they really require for admissions. Go and do visits if you can, call the recruiters at the colleges and see what you really need. I'm sure you will see that most HS out there have what you need to get accepted.

 

[momnipotent]

I am sorry you are disappointed, and I am sure your parents are sorry to have to disappoint you too. I went and looked at the Stanford online high school website and it does look great, but 9,800 a year is still only part time tuition. Based on that, you either attend high school or are already homeschooled, so the Stanford program would have just been a bonus, right? In addition, that $400 check to the gym every month adds up to be almost $5,000 over the course of a year (not to mention leotards, equipment, meet fees, etc.) and Stanford would not have taken that money into account when offering financial aid, meaning that even if the forms were in on time, your aid offer probably would not have been much higher. Also keep in mind that for all of us, money is limited and college is expensive, so any money spent on high school will not be available for college, which ultimately will limit where you can attend more than your high school coursework will. Honestly, these days, so many kids turn in impressive academic resumes, colleges care more about how well rounded you are than where you went to high school, so if you are really looking at getting into a good college, solid grades in honors/AP courses from your local school along with good test scores, the gymnastics and a consistent, long-term volunteer project or a gap year spent doing something volunteer-related or otherwise amazing internationally will put you in better stead than SOHS. Additionally,if you have an interest in a field, contact local businesses or colleges that specialize in that field and ask if they offer any high school volunteer opportunities or internships-even if you just spend the summer working in your potential field, that gives you a big leg up in college admissions. If you still really want the extra courses though, John Hopkins courses for talented youth are also very good and more reasonable money wise, maybe you could see if your parents would be able to afford one course a year from there. Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth - A World Leader in Gifted Education

 

[coachmolly]

If your parents posed the choice to you, they probably did not feel that the online high school was necessary for you to succeed. For most parents, education comes first, and if they had serious questions about your current educational program, I think they would have pushed the issue of the online school a little more. $9800/year for a part time program is huge, and it would still only be an online education, which can be great but usually involves supplementation with labs and various workshops and, which unless done at the local public school, would involve an additional cost.
There are enrichment programs, like the ones momnipotent mentioned, at places like Johns Hopkins and various universities. Many high schools also work with local universities or community colleges to create dual enrollment programs for students whose needs cannot be met by the high school curriculum. There are also camps, internships, and leadership programs available for high school students. Many are subject specific and geared towards advanced students. Look at websites for local colleges, they might offer something that fits your needs for a lower cost. Community agencies, such as hospitals, also sometimes offer programs for youth looking to gain knowledge outside of the classroom. And those types of activities will also look great on resumes- showing that you have a passion for a certain field and were willing to take initiative outside of the classroom.
Look into the colleges you are considering and see what they look at on an application, then talk with your school guidance counselor (provided you are not currently home schooled), I'm sure they will have resources for local programs, camps, internships, and volunteer opportunities.
Good luck!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i'm confused...

 

[GymBee97]

i'm confused...

LOL well here is a nice glass of wine to help with the confussion LOL

 

[GetaGrip]

Okay, a lot of questions to answer, hopefully this will hit most of them.

I'm trying to go to the Online High School because I have expended almost all of the options my school has to offer. I go to what is considered a pretty decent school, but I am about to run out of options very soon.

I am a sophomore (grade 10), and I am fifteen years old.

My parents are divorced, and my dad's financial records literally do not exist. My mother was nearly 100% sure that we would get financial aid, so I guess I got my hopes up a little too soon.

I understand that my parents cannot give me everything, and I'm not angry at them. It just makes me upset that the school thinks that $500 off a year could actually help me apply.

Instead of going to OHS, I'm going to be taking more classes at my local high school and I've signed up for an internship at our local college.

While what I wrote may sound upset, this is just me venting. I did not throw a tantrum or cry to my parents, I understand their limits. I'm just really disappointed, and thinking how it would have turned out if we got the financial aid in on time.

On the plus side, I've been having a lot more fun at gymnastics, now that I'm finally moving past this all. I guess I realized how special it is to me.

 

[bogwoppit]

You will do just fine with your high school courses. Not every kid has access to advanced educational opportunities and they still thrive academically.

This way you still have gym and school.

I totally understand your need to vent, we all have those days.

 

[emorymom]

You mean AP courses? Your high school doesn't have enough?

I understand what you mean from experience and here's the reality in hindsight: High school is a gimmick. You don't have to graduate to start college. Stop looking for better high school options and just go to college.

I crammed 4 years of high school credit into 3 years so I could move on to a top ranked university. All I ended up doing was frying out my system. I could have just taken it easy and gone into the same college early enrollment. I had this stupid idea that I needed to graduate and be valedictorian. Guess how many times anyone has ever asked to see my high school diploma or asked me what my class rank was. Oh yea, never. The selective colleges don't care if you have one. They know that they are dealing with a population that would have no trouble getting one, thus, it's not a benchmark. They want board scores, decent grades and a body of experiences that makes them think you'll succeed in their school.

 

[GymBee97]

emorymom is so right. IF they ask for grades no one looks to see if its a standard HS course or an Honors/AP course. Yes there will be HS teachers and guidance folks that will tell you it matters but it doesn't. A's and B's in the standard coursed will get you those same opportunities. Colleges want a well rounded person. Some one that gets nice grades yes but also someone that is involved in the community, is involved in extracurricular activities at school, someone that is involved in something where they show leadership skills, and GREAT referances from teachers, employers, community leaders, etc. Don't get hung up on the courses good grades in the standard ones will get you where you want to go.

My son was a B average student taking standard HS courses but very well rounded with great referances. He applied to various colleges many were your ivy league ones and he was accepted to all but one college he applied for. In the end he chose a college not so Ivy league because for what he wanted to study this school was listed that year in Forbes as one of the top 10 business schools - Its not one of the ivy league schools but its business program is considered outstanding and then to top it off they gave him his tuition for 4 years. In my son's sophmore year he was sure he wanted to be a computer engineer in his Jr - Sr year when he started to visit colleges and started to try other courses at HS (business ones I suggested he try as I thought he would find them interesting) he found his passion was business and finance.

Your just a sophmore and alot can change in the next 2 years you'll be surprised the things you think you want now will change as you start to look into the options that are available to you and trying courses in HS that might be out of the box for you.
There are thousands of colleges out there that have great programs that will help you succeed as an adult. Don't write them off because they aren't the ones you are looking at right now. Seriously your average HS courses WILL get you the opportunities you are hoping for - just like it does for the thousands of students that are entering college every year. Enjoy your HS years go for the regular courses, enjoy your gymnastics, and be a well rounded kid.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

You mean AP courses? Your high school doesn't have enough?

I understand what you mean from experience and here's the reality in hindsight: High school is a gimmick. You don't have to graduate to start college. Stop looking for better high school options and just go to college.

I crammed 4 years of high school credit into 3 years so I could move on to a top ranked university. All I ended up doing was frying out my system. I could have just taken it easy and gone into the same college early enrollment. I had this stupid idea that I needed to graduate and be valedictorian. Guess how many times anyone has ever asked to see my high school diploma or asked me what my class rank was. Oh yea, never. The selective colleges don't care if you have one. They know that they are dealing with a population that would have no trouble getting one, thus, it's not a benchmark. They want board scores, decent grades and a body of experiences that makes them think you'll succeed in their school.

boy, you got that right ^^^. and for athletes they only care/consider/verify the core subjects.

 

[GetaGrip]

You mean AP courses? Your high school doesn't have enough?

I understand what you mean from experience and here's the reality in hindsight: High school is a gimmick. You don't have to graduate to start college. Stop looking for better high school options and just go to college.

I crammed 4 years of high school credit into 3 years so I could move on to a top ranked university. All I ended up doing was frying out my system. I could have just taken it easy and gone into the same college early enrollment. I had this stupid idea that I needed to graduate and be valedictorian. Guess how many times anyone has ever asked to see my high school diploma or asked me what my class rank was. Oh yea, never. The selective colleges don't care if you have one. They know that they are dealing with a population that would have no trouble getting one, thus, it's not a benchmark. They want board scores, decent grades and a body of experiences that makes them think you'll succeed in their school.

To be honest, I've never viewed it that way. Almost no one in my family has gone to college, so I don't really have anyone to tell me what I should do. Thank you for telling me this!

 

[bookworm]

You mean AP courses? Your high school doesn't have enough?

I understand what you mean from experience and here's the reality in hindsight: High school is a gimmick. You don't have to graduate to start college. Stop looking for better high school options and just go to college.

I crammed 4 years of high school credit into 3 years so I could move on to a top ranked university. All I ended up doing was frying out my system. I could have just taken it easy and gone into the same college early enrollment. I had this stupid idea that I needed to graduate and be valedictorian. Guess how many times anyone has ever asked to see my high school diploma or asked me what my class rank was. Oh yea, never. The selective colleges don't care if you have one. They know that they are dealing with a population that would have no trouble getting one, thus, it's not a benchmark. They want board scores, decent grades and a body of experiences that makes them think you'll succeed in their school.

To be honest, I've never viewed it that way. Almost no one in my family has gone to college, so I don't really have anyone to tell me what I should do. Thank you for telling me this!

I just want to put this out there because I don't want Getagrip to misunderstand....high school might be a "gimmick" as some have stated but do not get the impression that you do not have to finish your high school requirements while moving on to college...kids taking college classes in high school are those who have fulfilled their requirements for graduation and are looking for something more (at least around here..)..I don't want you to get the impression that you can just enroll at a college instead of finishing high school because you are unhappy with the course offerings...some kids in the local area that have dropped out of high school go on to get their GED and then enroll in the local community college for courses , rather than returning to high school. You can take the SAT/ACT tests and have those scores on hand as well.

And I know that in terms of scholarships, you need to fulfill graduation requirements to be able to sign a NLI. A girl that competes with my daughter was "all set" to sign her NLI last fall and it was delayed because her credits weren't enough for her to graduate in 2012...and she ended up losing that scholarship. So I just wanted to get it out there that when a college is looking at you, even as an athlete, you need to fulfill graduation requirements (and it can be in core courses as Dunno says, does not necessarily have to be AP or similar).

 

[Aerials Gymnast]

I recently applied to Stanford Online High School to take advanced courses and help my chances of being accepted to a good college. I was accepted, however, there was no way my family could pay the $9,800 per year attendance fee, so my parents agreed to apply for financial aid.

With roughly a few days left to turn in the financial aid forms, I asked my mom if she had them done, to which she replied that this was not anything I needed to concern myself with and to focus on my own life. This might sound normal to most people, but my mom is not one to hide things from me. Money, family problems, you name it, we have a very open relationship.

Because of this, I had a very hard time "leaving it alone", so to say. But I did, which in hindsight was probably not a good idea. A week after the financial aid due date, my mom finally admitted that she never even started the forms, and that she had no idea where to start.

I was shocked, but too busy trying to turn in the forms to be upset. Within a day we had the forms turned in, and I thought that I preserved my chance at attending the online high school.

However, a few days ago when we received the financial aid letter, we hit a very big problem. Because we turned the form in late they decided, financial aid and all, we would still have to pay $9,000 per year.

I begged and pleaded my parents to try, but both posed the same ultimatum at me: Online High School or Gymnastics. To be honest it wasn't very hard to pick gymnastics, but it still killed me inside to lose the biggest opportunity of my life.

And to top it off I found out at Regionals.

I'm sorry if that this is so long and most likely unrelated, but this incident is making me hate that I do gymnastics. Not enough to quit, but enough to where I notice every little thing it stunts, like how I can't do other sports or buy nice things or even have a little bit of free time. All because of the $400 check my parents send to my gym once a month. Part of me hates the fact that my parents use gymnastics as more of an excuse than anything else.

Anyways, thank you for reading, I just really needed to get this out.

Please never give up on gymnastics! I made the biggest mistake of my life-- I quit because this is exact way I felt... Now I realize that it was the biggest mistake ever and I lost everything , esPecially a chance to scholArship. Now I am into gym again but I'll never be where I saws and I miss everything. The strength, the flexibility... Realizing I'll never have that back kills me inside. I don't know what else to say but don't ever give up on something you don't go a day without thinking about.

 

[profmom]

I am a bit confused about having run out of options. Have you completed your high school's math curriculum up through calculus if it is offered? Have you completed high school physics and chemistry? Have you done four years of a foreign language? Are you doing music and/or art and you've completed or nearly completed those curricula?

I have to say that I am not a big fan of the online craze in upper secondary and higher education. Even if it is synchronous (which it often isn't), it's not an ideal way to learn, especially for advanced subjects. I know that for some people, especially athletes who are doing a lot of hours, it's really the most practical option. But I worry about what happens when they get to college if they want to continue in the areas where they've done nearly exclusively online learning.