Cried 7 Times at Camp Today.

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Camp is supposed to be fun, right?

Well, I cry easily.

I cry every time I go to my camp, but today...it was HORRIBLE.

1. First we had conditioning. That was fine. I didn't WANT to do it, but I did without a problem. :)

2. Next, Dance. Nothing I couldn't handle. The dance is fun, though it's to a JUSTIN BEIBER song. UGH.

3. Then...Vault. I HATE vault. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. Last year at the camp, I almost got my fhs by myself, but I didn't. This year...well, first we did a relay race to practice our running. Then they stacked two tall blocks up on top of each other and put them in front of a mat and behind a springboard, and told us to do dive rolls!!! I didn't even know what a dive roll was!!! So, crying {1}, I walked up to the coach and said that I had no idea what we were supposed to be doing. But she was really nice and she took down the top mat and let me stand on the vault and taught me how to do a "mini" dive-roll. Then she made me run and do it, but over only one block. Last but not least, front handsprings. I landed on my face on the mat every time. It was awful because, crying again {2}, I walked up to the coach and told her I needed a REALLY heavy spot. But I still did terrible. And then we did handstand-flatbacks onto a mat by ourselves and I messed up the first time but the rest were...okay. Not good. Not terrible. Just okay.

4. Lunch. Haha. I can do lunch. :)

5. Then bars. This rotation was okay. I was working on getting some level 5 skills: kip and front hip circle. Most of the girls in my group actually couldn't do a squat on, but they were doing clearhip handstands and flyaways!!! But still, I felt I was doing okay on bars, esp because I was one of the few that could do a squat on and jump to high. I decided that tomorrow, I will ask for a spot on a clearhip because they look like fun! :D

6. Beam. This was the WORST. We did warmups, and I was doing great. Then she said, "Okay, handstands!" And I panicked and jumped off the beam and started crying {3} and she said, "What's wrong? Do you want to do your handstand on the low beam?" and I told her that I had never done mine on the low beam either. Which was a total lie. But I had always been terrified of handstands, and I got out of doing them as much as possible. I know, I'm so bad. But I am TERRIFIED!!! What if I FALL OVER?! I WILL DIE!!! ...anyway, so she made me do some on a line and she said that I should try them on low beam with a spot. So she spotted me and told me, "Why can't you do this by yourself? You're doing fine!" And I told her I was scared of falling over. So, she said she would teach me how to come out of a handstand you are falling in. She made me kick up into my handstand and she said she would guide me. But I didn't know what to do and I twisted weird and she saved me from plummeting head-first onto the beam. My head landed inches from the beam and my back slapped down onto the mat. So she tried teaching me while doing a handstand on the floor, but I fell heavily onto my side and crumpled into a ball. I was crying AGAIN {4} but she said that until I learned how to twist out of a handstand, I could just go up however far I felt comfortable. So I did some on the low beam that were only about 2 feet off the ground. It was really embarrassing. But I was too scared to go any higher!!! Then we were working cartwheels and yesterday at my regular gym I had a bad fall during the cartwheel and so I was scared to do them on high beam. But all the other girls were doing them like they were nothing!!! And I had to be on the low beam--AGAIN--even though I just DID cartwheels on high beam yesterday!!! I got so frustrated and started crying. AGAIN!!! {5} So then we were practicing our back walkovers on a line and she pulled me over and said, "What's wrong?" And I explained about how everybody else was better than me and I was being too scared and how I was awful at everything. And she gave me like a 20 minute pep-talk about how all the other girls are competing and training over 20 hours every week and how I only go once for 2 hours every week, so I am "talented" for what I do right now. But it just made me feel WORSE because there are 7 YEAR OLDS in my group that are competing LEVEL 5 and training LEVEL 6 and I am a 14 YEAR OLD who has been doing gymnastics for 6 YEARS and I STILL can't even do a BACK HANDSPRING!!! I felt so pathetic and...just completely terrible. Then during our break I burst into tears again {6} and people kept asking, "Why are you crying?" and it was awful because a} I didn't feel like talking about it and b} I was crying so hard that all I could say was "Huff..hughsafdda" and that made it even MORE embarrassing.

7. Last but not least, floor. First we did handstand walks across the floor. I was the only one who couldn't do it. So I did a handstand, walk 1 step, come down. While everyone else went right across without coming down once. It was really embarrassing. I cried a little. {6 1/2} Then we did straight-arm back extensions. I have never even DONE a back extension on the floor, only on a wedge mat!!! And I have NEVER done a straight-arm one!!! So I tried it and a couldn't even do the backward roll part. I collapsed on my side. EVERY TIME. Again, so embarrassing. Everyone else did it fine. I cried a little bit again. {7} Then, power hurdle round-offs. What was a power hurdle?! I had never even heard of it before!!! So my friend quickly taught me, and I tried it, and ended up squatting and nearly kissing the floor. My round-offs themselves were terrible, and these were WORSE. Then, front-handspring step out round-off. Okay, I had NO IDEA what on EARTH a fhs step out was. I could do a fhs fine, but was was this step-out thing?! And then a round-off out of it?! My round offs are AWFUL!!! So I watched others do it and tried it and I landed on my back every time doing the fhs step-out. THEN we did fhs step out round off bhs. I didn't have my bhs OR my fhs step-out. So I just tried a fhs step out and landed on my back, AGAIN. Then everyone began working on ro-bhs-bhs and I didn't even have my back handspring. But there was another girl who didn't have it either. Except she was 7. 7!!! And I was 14!!! So one of the coaches spotted us down a wedge mat. I guess I did okay. I used the tips you guys gave me and I didn't throw my head back as much. Then there were 3 stations set up: One for ro-bh-bt/ro-bhs-rebound, one for a punch front tuck into the pit, and one for aerials of off a springboard onto a sting mat. I couldn't do the bhs station, and I was too scared to to my punch front into the pit. Every camp year, {this is my...5th year? 3rd year? 4th? Can't remember...} I always start off freaking out about punch fronts but eventually I do them. Last year I did them onto a mat on the floor. But I'm scared again because I haven't done them since LAST SUMMER. Hopefully I'll warm up to it and do it. The coaches kept telling me it's not scary, but what if I hit my head off off the floor?! EEEK!!! So, I stayed at the aerial station and I did okay. I had to put my hands down at last minute though. But I wasn't too bad.

8. Finally, open gym. Me and the other girl did bhs again with the coach. Over. And over. And OVER. I got at least 3 drink breaks. But I started doing them on the wedge mat with only a one-hand spot! I think that's somewhat of an accomplishment.

My mom always says that if you get upset over something, it's not worth it. So I had to hide my red face and tears from her. It was REALLY HARD because the whole hour car ride, I just wanted to sob.

Sometimes I think my mom is right. I never cry at ballet. So maybe I should just quit gymnastics. But I can't quit. I don't know why, but I CAN'T. No matter how many tears I shed, no matter how many fears I get, {both of those are VERY large numbers,} the feeling of getting something after all that hard work is what I love.

But...I may not have a choice. I passed Level 2 of ballet and I am moving on to Level 3, which practices Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The problem is, I can't sign up for gymnastics now because I don't know what level I'll be in or what days I'll go. But I HAVE to sign up for ballet now or they won't let me in. So, if I have to go to gymnastics on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday--or if I get on team and one/two/all three of the days I will have to go are Monday, Tuesday, and/or Wednesday--then that's that. I have to quit gymnastics. We won't get our money back from the ballet people--and trust me, it is a LOT of money. Probably 5x how much gymnastics costs. And my ballet studio is an hour away, and each day we have about 2 hours of class. There is NO WAY I could do both in one day.

And, even if I CAN do gymnastics and ballet, and I get on team {all I need is my ro-bhs to get on team, so I HAVE to get it this summer, otherwise I will be stuck on pre-team that meets on Wed. and I won't be able to get to class,} what about meets?! What if they're on ballet days?! What if they're on ballet REHEARSALS?! If I do the Nutcracker for ballet, the last week before the show they rehearse EVERY DAY!!! And before that, they rehearse Saturday and Sunday every week!!! And if I miss 3 rehearsals, I'm kicked out of the ballet!!!

I know. SUPER LONG VENT. Sorry, I didn't expect anyone to read that. It's just...ugh. I hate my life right now. *thunks head on wall*
 
Oh no! I absolutely hate those days! I'm kinda sensitive too, so I end up *thisclose* to tears sometimes, but luckily for me, I am pretty good at holding them back. Yes, those days are terrible. When you're just having a really bad day, and everything just makes it worse until you just can't stand it. And yes, I also hate it when I see 7 year olds doing stuff I'm not even close to. Just know it will be better next time, and now you know what all these things are!
P.S. I did read that whole thing! :D
 
Oh no! I absolutely hate those days! I'm kinda sensitive too, so I end up *thisclose* to tears sometimes, but luckily for me, I am pretty good at holding them back. Yes, those days are terrible. When you're just having a really bad day, and everything just makes it worse until you just can't stand it. And yes, I also hate it when I see 7 year olds doing stuff I'm not even close to. Just know it will be better next time, and now you know what all these things are!
P.S. I did read that whole thing! :D
It was awful. Worst gymnastics practice yet.

I am super sensitive, I guess you could say I "cry over spilled milk".

Yeah, once something goes wrong, more things just keep going wrong and it gets worse and worse!!! Esp. seeing people WAY younger than me competing level 8 when I will never even get past level 5.

Yes, I should be better next time. I hope...and thanks for reading the whole thing ;D

But I am still crying over the ballet-gymnastics conflict. I might just have to quit both because I'm taking 4 honors courses and I don't think I can do the homework and do sports at the same time. Just in middle school, I was usually up until 2 a.m. finishing homework and studying.
 
If you get upset over something, that means you really care about it, and it definately is worth it. Just think, if you didn't care at all about school and then you got low grades, would you be upset? I'm guessing not. But sometimes you do have to prioritize and make sacrifices to make your schedule work - I had to quit my tennis team and pass up an opportunity to teach a latin class (and I would have gotten paid! it still kills me!) so that I could keep up with school, gym, and my responsibilities at home. Maybe it is time to "retire" from gym or pull back to more recreational/prep-op type program that doesn't practice as often to focus more on school and ballet, and you wouldn't have to "get my backhandspring before august so I can be on TEAM", which it seems you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do. Just my two cents, and good luck with the rest of camp and whatever you decide for next year!
 
Okay, today was a BIT better. I'll try to be quick this time.

1. Conditioning.

2. Dance.

3. Vault. And you know how much I HATE vault. Well, my favorite coach was there, and I can do anything when he's there. And at first my FHS vaults were just okay, but then one time I went to go do it but when I landed, I tripped onto my knees. I thought that was odd, because the LAST few times I had landed fine. But then the coach said, "Guess what? You did that. ALL. BY. YOURSELF." All my friends were cheering and smiling and giving me high-fives. I was so proud of myself!!! Tomorrow, I am gonna STICK THAT LANDING!!!

4. Lunch :)

5. Bars. Today at bars was AWFUL. First, I couldn't do my pullover. Then I kept tripping on my squat-on, or falling backwards. I eventually was able to do my pullover/squat-on. I did tap swings fine until one time I hit the low bar with my feet. It was kinda scary. But not really, actually. The WORST part of bars, though, was when I asked for a spot on a kip. My least favorite coach was the one spotting kips. Yesterday my favorite coach--guy from vault--spotted my kip and he gave me some tips and I did it with a medium spot. But when my least favorite coach went to spot me, I had brought my feet to the bar and I was trying to get up into front support when she stopped spotting me and I didn't go up!!! Apparently, she thought I wasn't READY for kips. But I do kips all the time!!! So she made me do leg-lift drills, and then I had to practice my GLIDES. YES, GLIDES. My favorite coach said my glides were really good! And he is always honest, if something is bad he will tell you!!! So then I had to practice glides but I began to tear up but I couldn't cry in front of the coach because she's the one that gave me the annoying pep talk yesterday. But I didn't even try my glides. I was weak from crying and I was mad at the coach and I just wanted to leave the station. Finally, I did leave that station. And I NEVER went back the whole rotation. Next we were supposed to kick up to handstand on a "floor" bar, but I was scared of falling over so I didn't go all the way up. And then I did front hip circles a lot because I was skipping the kip bar, and they were getting BETTER. But still bad. Bars was awful.

6. Beam was a LITTLE better than yesterday. I guess. I did all the warmups really well, esp. because I have a great sense of balance. :) Then I went to the bathroom and when I came back, they were just working on any skills. So I did my cartwheel on low beam a few times, then when I was going to go do it on high beam one of my gymnastics friends came up and said, "Do your handstand on high beam!!!" But I began to sob and I explained how I was so scared of falling over and I didn't know how to twist out of it if I fell over backwards and soon I had a crowd of 10 people surrounding me and telling me that I could do it and to ask for a spot. But I didn't want to because I can do them fine with a spot, but as soon as the coach is gone I will literally REFUSE to do them. And I sobbed with all these people trying to comfort me for about 20 minutes and I felt so bad because I was wasting those girls' time and they should have been working on skills, not talking to a awful, weak-minded gymnast. Then I did a few cartwheels and by then, beam rotation was over.

7. Ahh...floor. Yes, floor. First for our warm-ups we did handstand forward rolls, which are really easy. Then we did back extentions and again I did the same thing as I did yesterday--began to roll backwards, then collapsed onto the side. Then walking on our hands. Same thing as yesterday. Walked a few steps and then fell over. Or just fell over. Front walkovers, back walkovers. Both I could do fine. Then we began working on skills, but they didn't have an aerial station this time. Me and the 7-year-old went and got a coach and a wedge mat so we could be spotted on BHS. We were doing pretty good but I began to cry and I got ANOTHER pep talk from that coach spotting us, but she's my 2nd favorite coach so she made me feel a bit better. But I was weak from crying so I kept doing REALLY bad BHS and she got a little mad at me because I wouldn't stop crying. But finally, I did and my BHS were okay. Then she wanted us to go do other stuff the rest of the time. I tried my round-off but it was terrible. She tried to help me with it, but I got so frustrated that she let me stop doing them for the day. She then taught me how to do a FHS-step-out. I could do a FHS but not with the step-out. So she made me do this: step, step, hurdle, front walkover. I did it fine. Then a little faster. Still did it fine. Faster, faster...then, right when I was at a good speed, I kept falling on my back. I tried and tried and tried again. At last, right before the end of the rotation...I DID IT!!! And I ran over to her and told her and she watched me and I did it perfectly!!! :D

8. Open gym! I was determined to get my BHS so me and the 7-year-old got our favorite coach to come and spot us on BHS. We kept getting better and better on the wedge mat until we were doing them on a sting mat on the floor. He first gave us medium spots, but soon, all he had was a hand a few inches below our back in case we were going to fall and a hand tapping our legs over. We asked to do them by ourselves and...WE DID IT!!! Well kinda. We both bent our arms a bit and landed sort of crouching down. But STILL!!! A BHS pretty much by OURSELVES!!! I am going to get it for good--tomorrow!!!

So yes, it was a MUCH better day!!! I got 3 new skills!!!

The bad news is, I don't have gym again until the 11th. I will lose all my skills by then. :( And at my gym, they always set the vault on 5 and they never let us vault onto a mat, only on the pit!!! But I HAVE my FHS vault at camp set to 0, I'm going to try doing it on 1 tomorrow. But at my gym they would never let me do it by myself either!!! They always have two people giving heavy spots. I'm never going to get my FHS vault back if they keep doing that!!!

So, yeah. Good and bad, I guess. But better. Much better. Sort of...?
 
If you get upset over something, that means you really care about it, and it definately is worth it. Just think, if you didn't care at all about school and then you got low grades, would you be upset? I'm guessing not. But sometimes you do have to prioritize and make sacrifices to make your schedule work - I had to quit my tennis team and pass up an opportunity to teach a latin class (and I would have gotten paid! it still kills me!) so that I could keep up with school, gym, and my responsibilities at home. Maybe it is time to "retire" from gym or pull back to more recreational/prep-op type program that doesn't practice as often to focus more on school and ballet, and you wouldn't have to "get my backhandspring before august so I can be on TEAM", which it seems you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do. Just my two cents, and good luck with the rest of camp and whatever you decide for next year!
But the thing is, I WANT to get on team. 3 years ago, in 6th grade, we had to set goals for the year and I set 3 goals: One was to get onto Level 4 team. I reached all the goals but that one. Same thing in 7th grade--all the goals but that one. And same in 8th grade. I REALLY want to be on team. I know that means I will have to work harder than I ever have, but I will.

But I don't want to focus more on ballet! I have a long list of reasons why I want to take ballet for one more year--including that I want to be in the Nutcracker which I haven't been in yet, I am going to take a Jazz class as well for the first time ever, and that ballet is really helping my balance on beam and my dance skills--but I obviously have to choose gymnastics after 9th grade, for many reasons: 1. Gymnastics is 15 minutes away, ballet is an hour. 2. Ballet costs 5x how much gymnastics costs. My parents will not be able to pay for ballet forever. It gets WAY more expensive each level. 3. I just like gymnastics more.

And also, people say you can do gymnastics as an adult. Which is true, but will I have the same flexibility and speed as I do now? Probably not! But I can easily take ballet as an adult. I can make my own ballet routines and practice all the skills I've learned so far at home. I can sign up for some ballet classes when I go to college, if there is a ballet school nearby. Gymnastics is something I want to do as long as I can. Ballet is the back-up.
 
But the thing is, I WANT to get on team. 3 years ago, in 6th grade, we had to set goals for the year and I set 3 goals: One was to get onto Level 4 team. I reached all the goals but that one. Same thing in 7th grade--all the goals but that one. And same in 8th grade. I REALLY want to be on team. I know that means I will have to work harder than I ever have, but I will.

But I don't want to focus more on ballet! I have a long list of reasons why I want to take ballet for one more year--including that I want to be in the Nutcracker which I haven't been in yet, I am going to take a Jazz class as well for the first time ever, and that ballet is really helping my balance on beam and my dance skills--but I obviously have to choose gymnastics after 9th grade, for many reasons: 1. Gymnastics is 15 minutes away, ballet is an hour. 2. Ballet costs 5x how much gymnastics costs. My parents will not be able to pay for ballet forever. It gets WAY more expensive each level. 3. I just like gymnastics more.

And also, people say you can do gymnastics as an adult. Which is true, but will I have the same flexibility and speed as I do now? Probably not! But I can easily take ballet as an adult. I can make my own ballet routines and practice all the skills I've learned so far at home. I can sign up for some ballet classes when I go to college, if there is a ballet school nearby. Gymnastics is something I want to do as long as I can. Ballet is the back-up.

Sorry, hope you didn't take that the wrong way - you obviously really want to be on the team. And it's a great goal to have! It just seems that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get there this summer. And while it might seem like "giving up" or not being as committed, if you didn't focus on that goal as much and just thought about having fun and improving bit by bit, gym could become even more fun and stress-free.

If ballet is really the back-up, maybe you should consider letting that slide in favor of school and gym, since you don't enjoy it as much (although being in the Nutcracker sounds like fun!). Is there a closer studio or does your gym offer dance classes? Maybe that could be something to look into.
 
Sadly, we already signed up for ballet at my studio. And it is a LOT of money that we won't get back if I quit. But yeah, I do enjoy ballet a lot, but maybe I like gymnastics just a teensy bit more. There is a closer studio but as I said we are losing a lot of money if I quit at my normal studio, and my gym does not offer dance classes. :(
 
Today was the WORST DAY EVER.

1. Conditioning.

2. Dance.

3. Swimming. On the third day of camp, we always go swimming. But I was sorta depressed and I didn't feel like it, so I just sat on the edge and dangled my feet into the water.

4. Lunch.

5. Vault. My favorite coach was not on vault with us today, but I still did okay. But I didn't do my FHS by myself.

6. Bars. Awful again. I couldn't get my squat-on AGAIN!!!!! And I was leaning and casting big AND I wasn't pointing my feet once they reached the bar!!! So I just did tap swings but I only did them once because my hands began to seriously sting. My favorite coach was spotting kips and when I was gonna do mine, I completely failed and couldn't even get past my glide. It was SOOOOO frustrating!!!!! I just couldn't do it anymore!!! So I began to cry and that's when more problems arose...

7. Beam. It was terrible. I did my stupid 3/4 handstands on the floor beam. Then I went to practice my side handstand on the line but I wasn't even trying. Ever since I got in a bad mood on bars, I wa s in a REALLY bad mood. Then, cartwheels. I stacked up 3 mats under a high beam but as I went to do it, I put my hands down and then flew off of the high beam and went to the corner, sobbing. The coach {and my friends} asked what was wrong and I said I had a panic attack. I kept sobbing because I GOT my catwheel on high beam last year at THIS CAMP!!! But all of a sudden I had an irrational fear of high beam!!! So the coach asked if I wanted a spot on the high beam with 3 mats and I said yes. She spotted me and said, "You have this by yourself!!! Go ahead and try it. I'll be right here." I was so scared and also really nervous because all of my friends were watching me and I can't STAND it when they watch me. So I began to do one but had a panic attack again and I almost hit my head on the beam. But the coach soothed me and made me try it again. I landed it. But I was still really mad at myself because I had a coach RIGHT NEXT TO ME and there were THREE MATS UNDER THE BEAM and I ALREADY HAD THIS BY MYSELF!!!!! So I asked for a spot on a high beam with only a thin mat under it. But I got really scared and fell off of the beam. I tried again, and same thing. I did a few more cartwheels on the beam with three mats and then it was time for break.

7.5. Break. I was sobbing and all of my friends were around me, trying to support me, saying that I was a great gymnast but I knew that they were just lying to make me feel better. I continued sobbing. Then they kept trying to guess my age but I refused to tell them because I'm really really REALLY bad for my age!!! There's a 10-year-old at this camp in Level 9!!! But, although they made me laugh sometimes, I was still weak and crying on the inside.

8. Finally, floor. First, handstand walks and I was still extremely upset so I couldn't even do my HANDSTAND!!! I began to cry and gave up a little. Theb we did cartwheels. Mine were really bad because I was pretty much giving up now. But I was SO MAD AT MYSELF for GIVING UP!!! I'm such an IDIOT sometimes!!! I give up and then cry because I'm mad at myself for giving up!!! But I couldn't find the strength in myself to try. Then we did front walkovers. I've had this for over a year, but since I wasn't trying anymore, I kept falling onto my back, sobbing the whole time. Back walkovers. Same story. Didn't even try. On both walkovers, the coach came over to spot me even though I've ALWAYS had this by myself!!! Next, roundoffs. I had completely given up by now and I didn't try at all. I landed on my knees every time and my hurdle was tiny. Then FHS step out. I got this yesterday but I couldn't find the strength to try at all today so I landed on my back every time, which gave me an AWFUL headache so I had to sit out most of the time. Once I had KINDA calmed down, I asked my favorite coach for a spot on BHS. Even though I had it by myself yesterday, he gave me a really heavy spot today because, even though I WAS trying as much as I could during BHS, I was still sobbing, therefore making me weak. I really wanyed to do my front tuck into the pit but I was terrified and by the time I went to go ask for help, the rotation was over.

Tere was no open gym today. When my mom came to pick me up, she knew I jad been crying amd said, "You aren't enjoying this camp as much as before, are you?" I didn't reply.

I should just quit. I'm too old, I'm awful, and my gym only offers 2 hrs a week for my level.

*dies*
 
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!!! You are a really good gymnast! When you feel like you're not, think about all those poor people who can't even manage a cartwheel :D Everyone has off days, and this was one of them. I hate having bad days, but they happen. And remember what you said before. The reason all those younger kids are really good is because they are training 3-4 days a week and probably started when they were 2 or 3! For only having started when you were 9, you are really good. After I did 5 years of gymnastics, I was struggling with the same things you are. Actually, I am still having trouble with some of them. I'm only a year younger than you, and I still don't have my cartwheel on high beam, or a fhs vault (see! there's something you can do that I can't!). Just have fun at camp, and don't worry so much about what everyone else thinks of you!
 
Hi Donut Lover. Please don't take this the wrong way, but do you have this much emotional turmoil at school or at home? If you cry like this, at your age, during other activities as well you might want to speak with someone (a school counselor or therapist) to see about learning some skills to manage your emotions. If gymnastics is the only activity that gets you this worked up, then I think maybe it is not the right sport for you. It certainly does not sound like fun. It sounds like torture, self-inflicted torture at that. There is nothing to be ashamed about if you decide that gymnastics is just not a good fit for you anymore because of fear issues.
 
Hi Donut Lover. Please don't take this the wrong way, but do you have this much emotional turmoil at school or at home? If you cry like this, at your age, during other activities as well you might want to speak with someone (a school counselor or therapist) to see about learning some skills to manage your emotions. If gymnastics is the only activity that gets you this worked up, then I think maybe it is not the right sport for you. It certainly does not sound like fun. It sounds like torture, self-inflicted torture at that. There is nothing to be ashamed about if you decide that gymnastics is just not a good fit for you anymore because of fear issues.
No, no problems at school/home.

But I love gymnastics!!! I can never quit!!! My problems are: 1. Only going once a week and 2. I'm at the age where I begin to realize how dangerous all these skills are. I can't quit!!!
 
Stop pressuring yourself and have fun. If you're crying at all at gym, you're not having fun and either need to take a break until you can chill out, or just find another sport.

Have fun. Try your best. Don't compare yourself to anyone else.
 
Stop pressuring yourself and have fun. If you're crying at all at gym, you're not having fun and either need to take a break until you can chill out, or just find another sport.

Have fun. Try your best. Don't compare yourself to anyone else.
I rarely cry at regular practice at my gym. I'm crying at camp because it hurts to see people my age in Level 10. I know I should think about what I am doing, not what other people are, but it's hard. I've always had very little self-esteem.
 
I agreee with Chocoloic, you may consider seeing a conunslor. Do they have one at your school that you can talk to? I understand that its upsetting to see kids your age at level 10. However, there will always be people that are younger and better than you and thay don't look like they try as hard. If gymnastics is fun, it should not be this hard on you emotionally.


Many of your posts are full of teenage angst. I get it, being a teen is hard, but if you don't learn to manage it now you may find that being in college is hard, and starting a new job is hard and other adult things are really really hard. Trust me, life will not get easier unless you learn to make them easier. I've waited to post to you for a long time but I read that you are struggeling and I understand like you would not believe. You say that this only happens in the gym, so its easier to get upset when you are passionate. You can have passion without tears. I promise.

 
I rarely cry at regular practice at my gym. I'm crying at camp because it hurts to see people my age in Level 10. I know I should think about what I am doing, not what other people are, but it's hard. I've always had very little self-esteem.


When I read your posts, I think of my oldest DD, 10 years old. She is very sensitive, cries easily. She tried out for team, hoping for level four, but was put on Prep Bronze. She watched her friends be put on "higher" levels, and have double the workout times. Prep Bronze at our gym is 2X week for 2 hours each. Level four and up is double that.

There was a lot of crying! But, she has now realized that in gymnastics, 10 is "old", (sadly), and other kids her age having been doing it for years. We had a talk about why she wanted do this: just for the feeling of belonging that a "team" gives you, or to learn the sport? After tears, she decided that the goal is to learn the sport and have fun. Because you can be on a "team" in a zillion other sports:rolleyes:! But where else can you fly through the air?

My post is to tell you: 1) remember why you are doing this! 2) you cry...and so do other girls...you are not alone, and some kids can't help their tears..its ok! Keep trying your best, and track your process.

How about having someone record you on their phone, etc when you get a new skill. Then when you feel down, or anxious, take a look at it. Maybe make a scrapbook or something to commemorate your achievements. That are on your timeline, not the next Olympians. The goal is to learn the skills while having fun. In 2 years or 15 years, the goal is the same!

Read the "adult gymnast" posts on this forum. They have the most disadvantages in this sport, but I think, the most courage:D! And so do you...keep trying!
 
Thanks so much for the support guys and I had an AWESOME time at camp today!!!

This one will be pretty short. I PROMISE.

1. Conditioning.

2. Dance.

3. Vault. I LANDED MY FHS ALL BY MYSELF!!! AND the vault was set to 2. I have never vaulted on 2 before, only on 1 or 0!!! And someone recorded me on my phone :D Can't wait to show my coaches!!!

4. Lunch. We had pizza ;D

5. Bars. I did okay. My least favorite coach was there but she said my glides were better and let me do kips. I guess I did good with them. But I'm not close to getting it by myself. I did okay using the kip machine, but I kept slipping off!!! Haha :) And then every time I went to do my squat-on, I wouldn't lean far enough and I would trip on the bar and make some crazy escape, so I stopped doing them for the day {I was probably just nervous with all those people at camp watching me} and instead I just climbed onto the bar and jumped to high to do tap swings.

6. Beam. This was the ONE rotation where I cried a little, but only for about 5 seconds before my friend came over and tickled me. Haha! ;D I discovered that my awful fear of beam has returned and I absolutely refused to do my handstand or cartwheel on high beam. Even though I HAVE them on low beam {well at least a 3/4 handstand} and the high beam had a giant squishy mat under it that was only 1 inch under the beam. But my favorite coach refused to spot me {because the high beam was as far off of the mat as the low beam was off of the floor, so if I could do it on low then I could do it on high with the mat} but after about 15 seconds of just standing there, he actually kind of yelled at me! Not yell, but you know, he got mad at me because I was absolutely REFUSING to do the skill. That's when I cried a little. I didn't do anything else the rest of beam rotation. Too scary.

7. Floor. I was able to do all my skills today without tearing up, haha :) I did both my walkovers and my FHS well, and same with handstand forward rolls, cartwheels, and round-offs. Then we were doing dive rolls and the ONE time I tried a dive roll {last year at camp} I had no idea what it was and I tried it and it really hurt my back because I didn't do it right. So, I went up to the coach and said, "I have never done a dive roll before," expecting an explanation on how to do it. But she just said, "Stop being scared and do it now!!!" Which I find COMPLETELY inappropriate!!! If they were doing back tucks, which I have never done before, should I just go and try a back tuck?! No way!!! But the OTHER floor coach came to my rescue and taught me how to do a "standing" dive roll, e.g. standing and jumping into a dive roll, and I did them fine. :) AND THEN I got over my fear of doing front tucks into the pit, and I did a bunch!!! :D And I didn't do my BHS by myself, but the coach {the nice one} said that I was going to get it really soon. {If only I could go more than 1 day a week at my gym...}

8. Open gym! It was only, like, 10 minutes long though. I just did my BHS. With a light spot. Pretty much by myself, only one hand under my back in case I collapsed or something.

9. Dance and Awards!!! We were all taught a dance in the dance rotation and since today was the last day of camp, we presented the dances to our parents. All my friends forgot one important part and were doing everything else early. I was the only one that had the right timing, haha :) And I didn't get an award. I didn't want one anyways.

So, yep. Today was better. MUCH better! :D
 
7 YEAR OLDS in my group that are competing LEVEL 5 and training LEVEL 6 and I am a 14 YEAR OLD who has been doing gymnastics for 6 YEARS and I STILL can't even do a BACK HANDSPRING!!! I felt so pathetic and...just completely terrible.

This really jumps out at me. Because I don't see that as pathetic, I read it as "This girl is 14, has been doing gymnastics for 6 years, has set herself goals and is going to achieve them no matter what". I don't care how old or what level you are, I applaud your persistence and determination. The vast majority of 14 year olds would have given up long ago.

As for the ballet vs gymnastics, I'd chill about that for now. If there is a conflict, deal with it then. You may have to put ballet on hold for a year, or whatever, but there will be a way round it.
 

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