I am confused. Is your oldest still doing gym? From what I can gather from mere threads on here, she is quite talented.
No she hasn't been in gym since age 9. Club wouldn't let her train her other sport alongside, and she had to choose.
I thought she was doing fine as she rarely said anything negative about her gymnastics. I knew she was disappointed when she just couldn't make that step up to national squad but had no idea that there were any coaching issues at the last 2 clubs. I removed her from the first club as I had heard there were problems from other parents and wanted out before it affected my daughter and we moved from the 2nd club due to relocation.
Mine was the same. She was 11, doing fantastically well due to the high hours and intense coaching. However I was a gymnast and saw warning signs from one of the other coaches- even more hours, negative comments, throwing kids out regularly, comments on weight, tears most sessions, as well as the general ethos of the club and their "all parents are idiots" mantra. So I hauled her out of there. Unfortunately there aren't many high level clubs in the UK and the one we chose fell to pieces after 2016 when all the high level coaches left.
It took DD a long time to forgive us. But the kids from the old club have caught up with her now so she is seeing them at comps, seeing how the coach speaks to them (calling them **** on the competition floor!) and seeing how many injuries they have, how often they have to withdraw, how injuries aren't tolerated, and how the focus is on two or three kids, everyone else is ignored. Unfortunately the ones that have stuck it are doing quite well, and they and the coach are being selected for GB. Which leaves us between a rock and a hard place- no way were we having her treated like that, but by not allowing it it may mean there is nowhere else she can reach her potential.
Oh and at that club the parents were encouraged to watch, so the coach could throw them out and have the parents insist they went back and did as coach said.
But, DD may have dropped off the front of the race but she is still firmly in the front pack. She is uninjured, happy, and keeping up on half the hours. If she does get support of the NGB to step up to HPC hours (the high level coaches are paid by NGB and can only coach who they are told to) she has a lot of room to improve.
I have always told DD that there are other coaches, other clubs, other countries (NCAA for example). She should never have to put up with being mistreated, and it may seem to get results, but more easily it can destroy your body and mind.
There used to be a large UK contingent on here for discussing all things UK but it has fizzled out in recent years as peoples kids got older and moved on from gymnastics.