I see it online and at the gym. I was just looking for some feedback from those who know and have been in this sport longer than myself. I have been involved in gymnastics for a very short time. My DD started kinda late and we had no intention of becoming competitive. Now she is a level 7 and 11 years old. I guess because we started so much later than most, I missed alot of the early drama. It just seems like as we get more into this, so many parents are really, really involved, more so than I would have expected. I realize that my DD is good but I don't expect she will end up in the Olympics. Just seems parents are putting alot of pressure on kids without even realizing it. Planning out their entire lives before we even know what they will choose to do. I see people on these boards and in our gym that have been into this 1/3 of the time I have and seem to know every term, skill, rule, and there kids are really small. The knowledge and involvement is amazing to me. Everywhere I read, it says that parents should really stand back and let coaches and the gym control that part of their training. I love informing myself as I have know idea why judges take the deductions they do. I think my DD looks great every time but I can tell when the scores go up, I have alot to learn. I just wonder if we as parents expect more from these kids than they will ever be able to deliver. It is difficult not to get caught up in the excitement of it all, but these kids are under so much pressure as it is. This is just an observation. Not right or wrong just a thought.I just wonder if other sports create this much drama. Don't get me wrong. I know we spend an inordinate amount of time with our kids doing this sport and we are really invoved to a point. But I consider the coaches the experts and I am simply a cheerleader, carpooler, and a Mom that is there to hug when there is dissapointment. I also understand that this form is a place to brag and be proud of our kids accomplishments. That part of it is not what I am talking about so don't missunderstand my post. I feel like the majority of
For Parents Does this sport promote more Drama than most.
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SkiBumGymMom
I think there is a bit more drama in gymnastics, but the same as most individual sports. My middle daughter is 17 and has been in gym since she was 3 and been a level 10 since she was 11. There were definitely a lot of gym moms around at meets (especially when she did TOPS camp and regionals, etc.). Luckily our gym is a little more low key, being in the recreation district of the town and not a private club. For two and a half years in high school she did cheerleading and I felt like there was even more catiness, maybe not as much pressure (you don't go to the olympics for cheerleading lol!) but a lot of nastiness between the mothers, commenting on other girls and each other.
My youngest daughter is 15 and is a competitive ballerina. When she was younger she was pretty involved in figure skating. Figure skating is just as bad as gymnastics when it comes to some parents trying to push their little girls as hard as possible to "go to the olympics/make the national team/skate elite" to the point of 5 am private lessons and dropping out of school. Ballet has the same sort of drive behind it.
This is all compared to my son (who's now 30) but growing up did soccer, snowboarding, lacrosse, cross country and by high school was a very decent tennis player (he made state his senior year). I don't remember any of the drama or catiness that has happened in my daughters sports.
I think part of it is because in gymnastics, figure skating, cheer, etc. young girls are the most successful. It's not common for 15 year old girls to be on the olympic team for ice hockey for example! This leads to parents being more involved in the pursuit of elite dreams. That's on top of these sports being ones focused on a lot of individual hours. You have to practice a lot to be successful at basketball or soccer, but to be a professional gymnast or dancer and skater you have to put in ridiculous hours privately that leads to high expenses, etc. You also have a lot of women (in my opinion) who are trying to relive their dreams. I did gymnastics in high school myself (back in the 70s cira Nadia, and the height of high school teams, I was little and they recruited me) and it's fun to watch my daughter compete (at a much higher level than I did though lol!). However I see some women who wish to be young and agile and be able to wear cute leos and glitter again and display that through their girls which is sad.
Anyway I'm rambling a lot. I agree that there is more drama in gym than other sports, in my experience. But there also a lot of other sports that are comprable, and they all seem to be ones with young girls. The key that I've learned is to make sure your daughter is having fun and in a positive successful environment then try to ignore anything that comes up with the parents, as hard as it can be. Good luck!
My youngest daughter is 15 and is a competitive ballerina. When she was younger she was pretty involved in figure skating. Figure skating is just as bad as gymnastics when it comes to some parents trying to push their little girls as hard as possible to "go to the olympics/make the national team/skate elite" to the point of 5 am private lessons and dropping out of school. Ballet has the same sort of drive behind it.
This is all compared to my son (who's now 30) but growing up did soccer, snowboarding, lacrosse, cross country and by high school was a very decent tennis player (he made state his senior year). I don't remember any of the drama or catiness that has happened in my daughters sports.
I think part of it is because in gymnastics, figure skating, cheer, etc. young girls are the most successful. It's not common for 15 year old girls to be on the olympic team for ice hockey for example! This leads to parents being more involved in the pursuit of elite dreams. That's on top of these sports being ones focused on a lot of individual hours. You have to practice a lot to be successful at basketball or soccer, but to be a professional gymnast or dancer and skater you have to put in ridiculous hours privately that leads to high expenses, etc. You also have a lot of women (in my opinion) who are trying to relive their dreams. I did gymnastics in high school myself (back in the 70s cira Nadia, and the height of high school teams, I was little and they recruited me) and it's fun to watch my daughter compete (at a much higher level than I did though lol!). However I see some women who wish to be young and agile and be able to wear cute leos and glitter again and display that through their girls which is sad.
Anyway I'm rambling a lot. I agree that there is more drama in gym than other sports, in my experience. But there also a lot of other sports that are comprable, and they all seem to be ones with young girls. The key that I've learned is to make sure your daughter is having fun and in a positive successful environment then try to ignore anything that comes up with the parents, as hard as it can be. Good luck!
Smart-alec but semi-accurate answer #1: a sport that is so heavily dominated by women is bound to have lots of drama.
*dodges flying tomatoes*
Smart-alec but semi-accurate answer #2: gymnastics does not have as much drama as, say, cheerleading; as for why cheerleading draws so much drama, I won't say other than to register my strong disdain for the "sport" of cheerleading as a whole.
*dodges more tomatoes*
But yes, gymnastics does get a lot of drama, and I think a lot of it comes from the sort of icons it produces. What parent doesn't want their little girl to be the next Mary Lou, or the next Shawn/Nastia?
Now, off the top of your head, name a female icon like that from another sport. I honestly can't think of a single one, other than perhaps Mia Hamm.
Other sports don't really have the sort of female icons that gymnastics has. So this sport tends to draw a lot of nutjob parents who are more interested in vicarious olympic glory than they are in doing what's best for their kid.
It's a real shame, because crazy parents and kids who are forced into the sport take so much away from the people who genuinely do love it.
*dodges flying tomatoes*
Smart-alec but semi-accurate answer #2: gymnastics does not have as much drama as, say, cheerleading; as for why cheerleading draws so much drama, I won't say other than to register my strong disdain for the "sport" of cheerleading as a whole.
*dodges more tomatoes*
But yes, gymnastics does get a lot of drama, and I think a lot of it comes from the sort of icons it produces. What parent doesn't want their little girl to be the next Mary Lou, or the next Shawn/Nastia?
Now, off the top of your head, name a female icon like that from another sport. I honestly can't think of a single one, other than perhaps Mia Hamm.
Other sports don't really have the sort of female icons that gymnastics has. So this sport tends to draw a lot of nutjob parents who are more interested in vicarious olympic glory than they are in doing what's best for their kid.
It's a real shame, because crazy parents and kids who are forced into the sport take so much away from the people who genuinely do love it.
It is a shame but every children's activity has it's psycho parents. From the day kids are born you will find the parent that says...
"My Jonny is in the 75 percentile for weight, isn't he big for a 3 month old?"
"Jonny is crawling and he's only 6 months old."
"Jonny said his first word, he's only 10 months."
"Jonny can ride a two wheeler, Oh your Maisy can't, do you think she's delayed?"
On and on it goes through school, through sports, into marriage and even grandchildren. I had MIL call when my son was about 8, she wanted to read me the report card that her other grandson had received "don't you know he's in the gifted programme at his school" We don't have gifted programmes in Quebec, we just have school. I declined the reading of the report card. BARF.
I have to say the most irritating parents I have met are those who think their kid is the biggest, best or brightest or even a combination of all three. There are whack job parents everywhere, I have learned to befriend the ones I like and completely ignore the rest.
By the way my kids are lovely, adore them, but I rarely psuh them down anyones throats, after all no one could love them the way I do.
I love gymnastics, I did it as a child, moved onto coaching and then I had kids. My girls do gym because they love it but we keep it limited as I don't want it to consume our lives. But then look who is a moderator of a gymnastics board, gym is an addictive sport.
"My Jonny is in the 75 percentile for weight, isn't he big for a 3 month old?"
"Jonny is crawling and he's only 6 months old."
"Jonny said his first word, he's only 10 months."
"Jonny can ride a two wheeler, Oh your Maisy can't, do you think she's delayed?"
On and on it goes through school, through sports, into marriage and even grandchildren. I had MIL call when my son was about 8, she wanted to read me the report card that her other grandson had received "don't you know he's in the gifted programme at his school" We don't have gifted programmes in Quebec, we just have school. I declined the reading of the report card. BARF.
I have to say the most irritating parents I have met are those who think their kid is the biggest, best or brightest or even a combination of all three. There are whack job parents everywhere, I have learned to befriend the ones I like and completely ignore the rest.
By the way my kids are lovely, adore them, but I rarely psuh them down anyones throats, after all no one could love them the way I do.
I love gymnastics, I did it as a child, moved onto coaching and then I had kids. My girls do gym because they love it but we keep it limited as I don't want it to consume our lives. But then look who is a moderator of a gymnastics board, gym is an addictive sport.
I agree with the previous posters...gymnastics does have its drama but cheerleading is WAY more dramatic. I spent 3 years in allstar cheer before switching to gymnastics and it got crazy!! Sometimes I often stop and try to think WHY is is so crazy. I guess because a lot of parents unknowingly live through their kids and their acheivemments. It is hard not to get caught up in the drama yourself and I often find me shaking myself into reality at times. I do read a lot of these posts and think to myself, "hmmmm, let's see if these kids are still in the sport this time next year." And I guess it is easy for most parents to think that they have a little Nadia on their hands when training is going well and the kids are learning a lot very quickly. Unfortunately, that usually doesn't last long. The kids will eventually start to plateau or get injured or have some fear issues to deal with. This is probably the time where the impatient parents end up taking the kids out of the sport.
I would really like to find out how many kids drop out of gymnastics and at what ages and if there is a correlation between the dropout rate and how involved the parents are. It would be interesting to do a long term study on gym parents and their kids...
All I know is that my dd loves gymnastics and has fun learning new skills, having fun with her friends on the team (a little too much fun sometimes
) and competing. I am glad that we are on a somewhat relaxed league where there isn't too much pressure and the parents are pretty level-headed (at least MOST of them). So, as long as she is having fun and wanting to go to practice, we will continue our journey.
I would really like to find out how many kids drop out of gymnastics and at what ages and if there is a correlation between the dropout rate and how involved the parents are. It would be interesting to do a long term study on gym parents and their kids...
All I know is that my dd loves gymnastics and has fun learning new skills, having fun with her friends on the team (a little too much fun sometimes
) and competing. I am glad that we are on a somewhat relaxed league where there isn't too much pressure and the parents are pretty level-headed (at least MOST of them). So, as long as she is having fun and wanting to go to practice, we will continue our journey.
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Bog- I always love your posts and thank you for being so supportive to all the girls {hug-hug}! I think you are so right, there are always those parents out there, be it school, dance, gym whatever.
The true answer is to enjoy your child, support your teammates and let all the rest go. It's impossible to dwell on all the drama and have fun.
The true answer is to enjoy your child, support your teammates and let all the rest go. It's impossible to dwell on all the drama and have fun.
I actually have found myself wondering the same thing. I have never been involved in gymnastics until my two DDs started. Now, I am at the gym 5 days a week(of course they couldn't go on the same days). And gymanstics seems to run a lot of my life.
I have come to the conclusion that whether it be gymnastics, ballet, horseback riding(which is what I do and my girls DO NOT), tennis or any other sport, I will be totally involved because I can't stand to miss it when they accomplish a new skill.
So, I believe the drama will be there no matter where we go. And I choose to love the drama for what it is - CRAZINESS!! And we all keep on going.
I have come to the conclusion that whether it be gymnastics, ballet, horseback riding(which is what I do and my girls DO NOT), tennis or any other sport, I will be totally involved because I can't stand to miss it when they accomplish a new skill.
So, I believe the drama will be there no matter where we go. And I choose to love the drama for what it is - CRAZINESS!! And we all keep on going.
- Jan 4, 2008
- 4,074
Gymnastics is the type of sport that creates more drama because of the nature of the sport. It is an artistic sport, its very much about performing. The sorts of kids who are drwan to the sport are natural performers who tend to be dramatic people. Which is not a bad thing.
Also it is a perfectionist sport. Gymnasts need to do incredibly difficult skills with perfect form, they need to train incredibly hard and incredibly long hours. The sport attracts perfectionists and very highly competitive kids which again often equals drama.
Gymnastics also requires you to be a bit of a show off. Again this is not a bad thing, this is whats required to get out on the floor and do an amazing floor routine on your own for judges and crowds. This is what it takes to be prepared to throw hard skills.
So the personality traits that are attracted to gymnastics can also be a little attracted to drama.
Also it is a very labour intensive sport. Gymnasts generally spend a lot more hours in the gym than most sports, and it is a lot of money. parents do feel like they have invested a lot in this sport and often that makes them feel more pressured to see a return for their efforts, which can cause them to put more pressure on their kids.
Also it is a perfectionist sport. Gymnasts need to do incredibly difficult skills with perfect form, they need to train incredibly hard and incredibly long hours. The sport attracts perfectionists and very highly competitive kids which again often equals drama.
Gymnastics also requires you to be a bit of a show off. Again this is not a bad thing, this is whats required to get out on the floor and do an amazing floor routine on your own for judges and crowds. This is what it takes to be prepared to throw hard skills.
So the personality traits that are attracted to gymnastics can also be a little attracted to drama.
Also it is a very labour intensive sport. Gymnasts generally spend a lot more hours in the gym than most sports, and it is a lot of money. parents do feel like they have invested a lot in this sport and often that makes them feel more pressured to see a return for their efforts, which can cause them to put more pressure on their kids.
M
M23K's
I agree wholeheartedly with Bog. Great quotes there Bog! Parents like that drive me absolutely nuts. I know a parent that calls me everytime her dd gets a notice in the mail that she has been nominated for some Gifted Student Ambassador trip....which cost a couple thousand dollars- what a scam. I don't have the heart to tell her they get those names off county birth records. And Geoffrey- I like the part about women and drama. Cute.
But, really and truly, gymnastics is such am amazing, fascinating and beautiful sport. Why does everyone discount the fact that it's simply INTERESTING, and we moms can't help but want to learn more about it and get involved? And moms (dads too) love to watch their kids accomplish new things..anything. My sil told me how she teared up one time watching her dd swing a bat in a carnival game at a county fair. She was so proud of that little girl and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think kids are under any more pressure than they let themselves be. They all know how to say "no"; it's the first word they learned as toddlers. So as long as the girls want to do it and parents love to watch and stay involved, then why complain about drama. Realistically, 99.999 percent of gym parents know their daughters will not be in the Olympics; they just are happy the kids have found a sport they love.
I think my pet peeves are the "holier-than-thou parents" who boast about how THEY aren't the ones that push their kids, THEY don't feel a need to be in the gym much, and THEY aren't the problem parents and others are, and all they do is step back and ignore the coaches and judges, and do just what the coaches want, etc. Comeone, any good parent that invests this kind of money and time definitely wants to know that their children are being handled correctly. A gym parent has to be involved when they basically hand over their children to someone else for 20 plus hours a week and pay out that kind of cash. Call me a crazy gym-mom. I call myself one who loves the sport, wants to learn more about it, and loves to witness each new accomplishment and milestone of my child. I also am one who wants to make sure my money is spent properly on the welfare and safety of my child's development. If that means being in the gym a little extra sometimes and asking a few questions about what is going on, then so be it.
But, really and truly, gymnastics is such am amazing, fascinating and beautiful sport. Why does everyone discount the fact that it's simply INTERESTING, and we moms can't help but want to learn more about it and get involved? And moms (dads too) love to watch their kids accomplish new things..anything. My sil told me how she teared up one time watching her dd swing a bat in a carnival game at a county fair. She was so proud of that little girl and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think kids are under any more pressure than they let themselves be. They all know how to say "no"; it's the first word they learned as toddlers. So as long as the girls want to do it and parents love to watch and stay involved, then why complain about drama. Realistically, 99.999 percent of gym parents know their daughters will not be in the Olympics; they just are happy the kids have found a sport they love.
I think my pet peeves are the "holier-than-thou parents" who boast about how THEY aren't the ones that push their kids, THEY don't feel a need to be in the gym much, and THEY aren't the problem parents and others are, and all they do is step back and ignore the coaches and judges, and do just what the coaches want, etc. Comeone, any good parent that invests this kind of money and time definitely wants to know that their children are being handled correctly. A gym parent has to be involved when they basically hand over their children to someone else for 20 plus hours a week and pay out that kind of cash. Call me a crazy gym-mom. I call myself one who loves the sport, wants to learn more about it, and loves to witness each new accomplishment and milestone of my child. I also am one who wants to make sure my money is spent properly on the welfare and safety of my child's development. If that means being in the gym a little extra sometimes and asking a few questions about what is going on, then so be it.
posting to agree, and throw a tomato at Geoffrey! Also to say that I take video of my DD kicking wildly over the bar and doing spazz jumps on vault. I'd like to say I'm just keeping it real for if her head ever gets too big, but I just find them hilarious. I think drama is usually fought well with comedy though seriously.
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Another woman In agreement with GT.
Thinking of throwing some tomatos at him just for fun - you really should not give crazy gym moms ideas !!!!
Thinking of throwing some tomatos at him just for fun - you really should not give crazy gym moms ideas !!!!
Hi, I was about to post a reply when I read the above from gymnomore....she basically said it all for me...thanks for doing all the typing...and ditto!
...and ditto!Good posts by Geoffrey and Bog. However, I think the drama comes with any sport for girls. I only have girls though, so I can't speak for boys sports. Travel softball can be just as bad. For example, you sometimes have daddy (or mommy) ball teams where the coach will play his or her daughter in certain position even though she is not the most talented one for that spot. I've run into parents who also push their kids. At 10 years old, a pitcher taking 2 pitching lessons a week plus a weekly hitting lesson, in addition to team practices. Parents who are also catty. Parents who give ultimatums out of jealousy of another player to a coach telling him to pick who he would rather have on the team. If my child does not get to play _____, then we will leave the team. The list goes on and on. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I've run into some softball parents who are crazier than the gym parents, if that's even possible to imagine.
There were parents from 2 different teams who were cutting each others players down and were actually pushing each other and about to fight last year at a world series tournament last summer. I didn't see this, as we did not go, but a friend's daughter played in this tournament, and she told me about it afterwards. That is so sad. I can't believe some parents would take it to that extreme. At the end of the day, it is just a game.
There were parents from 2 different teams who were cutting each others players down and were actually pushing each other and about to fight last year at a world series tournament last summer. I didn't see this, as we did not go, but a friend's daughter played in this tournament, and she told me about it afterwards. That is so sad. I can't believe some parents would take it to that extreme. At the end of the day, it is just a game.
I agree that there's some drama to gymnastics. I think it is a natural result of the hours and money involved. It's hard for parents not to be come pretty involved.
I do agree with gymnomore. We're all here on a message board talking about our children's sport. I think to a certain extent we like to point our fingers at the over-the-top parents because it reassures us that we're not that bad. For me, the reason I don't watch practice is because it will raise my blood pressure and I'm afraid it could send me down that slippery slope.
I do agree with gymnomore. We're all here on a message board talking about our children's sport. I think to a certain extent we like to point our fingers at the over-the-top parents because it reassures us that we're not that bad. For me, the reason I don't watch practice is because it will raise my blood pressure and I'm afraid it could send me down that slippery slope.
I am the original poster and I agree almost 100% with what you have said. I think that every Mom and Dad needs to be completely involved in every aspect of their child's gymnastics. I am one of those parents. I am completely involved. I think I used the wrong word when I said drama. I think maybe I should have said parents that push too hard or have unrealistic expectations, especially when these kids are really young. I think it is completely natural to some degree to want everything for your kids. But I just know from personal experience that my kid takes every question I ask to heart and we sometimes don't realize how that effects them. For example, my dd has been having trouble with getting then losing her giant. I would simply ask her when she got home from gym if she got it today. By asking her this, I put additional pressure on her that was actually postponing her getting it and making her feel bad. I changed my approach and didn't ask her if she got her giant but if she had fun at gym tonight. Her whole attitude toward the giant changed over a period of a week. That is why I introduced the post. I thought that maybe people could recognize without realizing it, how much pressure these kids are under and how we as parents can compound this. I know you said that they can say no, but many of them can't, mine included. She so desperately want to please me, her coaches and show her peers she could do it, it is sometimes paralyzing to them. Because we want so badly for them to succeed, we can actually do harm by imposing adult thoughts onto kids who don't necessarily have the same filters that we do. I wanted to clarify that. I think that all of us should be very involved. Just realize that there are unbelievable pressures on these kids and with our adult "drama" for lack of a better word, we can exacerbate it. Drama being what another poster replied, living vicariously through or children's gymnastics. Wanting it so badly that we create these crazy expectations by doing and saying anything to hopefully make this dream happen.
T
TeamDad
I was talking to one of the optional level mom's after the Christmas Holiday. I've known her for what seems like forever because our kids have traveled similar paths. We first met when DD was 4 years old and our girls were in the same Suzuki violin class..
Anyway, I was asking her how her DD had done at her meet. She said that it was a tough one being so close to the holidays, and that they had missed alot of practice.
She said she was talking to some of the parents on the other teams to get the scoop and that many of the girls had practiced through the holidays. A number of them home school and spend 4 hours in the gym in the morning and another 4 hours in the gym in the evening.
I asked her what she did for the holidays. She said she took DD skiing
Anyway, I was asking her how her DD had done at her meet. She said that it was a tough one being so close to the holidays, and that they had missed alot of practice.
She said she was talking to some of the parents on the other teams to get the scoop and that many of the girls had practiced through the holidays. A number of them home school and spend 4 hours in the gym in the morning and another 4 hours in the gym in the evening.
I asked her what she did for the holidays. She said she took DD skiing
This brings up an excellent point; while an over-involved parent can be detrimental, so can an under-involved parent. Parents can and should take an interest in how their kids are doing, and let their kids be aware they're interested.
Be proud of your kids when they accomplish something! There's nothing wrong with that. Ask your kids' coaches how they're doing! There's nothing wrong with that either. As long as you are not stepping on the coaches' toes and as long as you are aware that it's not about you, it's about your kid, it is perfectly fine to show an interest in how your kid is doing.
I totally and completely agree with what GT (and others) posted. I think that it really gets dramatic sometimes in the gym. I just hate that part.
I've found that (for me) I deal by keeping my ears open and my mouth shut. I don't feel like I gain anything from the drama, the stage parents, the screaming at judges, the way some of them speak to their children...a lot of the time I just keep still and am thankful that I'm not in on it. I think it all speaks for itself. Who the true supports are in the gym, who is out for themselves, who is trying to live through their children, who isn't a true team player...but in the midst of all of the drama, the really great personalities of those uninvolved really shine!
On occasion, though, I sometimes want to connect with the real drama queens in the gym...get to know them...take them out for coffee and just sit and chat. I've done this on a few occasions and have found that: a lot of the time, when someone is creating drama in any given situation, things are often starting to go well for them in their lives...they seem to create the drama as a shield - because they don't know how to handle happiness and "need" the drama. I'm not saying that ALL people are this way, just something that I've noticed...here...where we live...in the middle of east-flippin-nowhere...
I've found that (for me) I deal by keeping my ears open and my mouth shut. I don't feel like I gain anything from the drama, the stage parents, the screaming at judges, the way some of them speak to their children...a lot of the time I just keep still and am thankful that I'm not in on it. I think it all speaks for itself. Who the true supports are in the gym, who is out for themselves, who is trying to live through their children, who isn't a true team player...but in the midst of all of the drama, the really great personalities of those uninvolved really shine!
On occasion, though, I sometimes want to connect with the real drama queens in the gym...get to know them...take them out for coffee and just sit and chat. I've done this on a few occasions and have found that: a lot of the time, when someone is creating drama in any given situation, things are often starting to go well for them in their lives...they seem to create the drama as a shield - because they don't know how to handle happiness and "need" the drama. I'm not saying that ALL people are this way, just something that I've noticed...here...where we live...in the middle of east-flippin-nowhere...
I think it is good to not judge other parents when possible. I think, y'know, the backpack full of books lunges parent maybe.
Last year my daughter (age 4) had this ... let's say I am a pre-team gym parent and proud of her but I was not a gymnast and I can see my daughter doing other things if she wants to.
Last year my daughter was in 3 gymnastics classes a week IIRC. Since she was in the preschool division and these classes were 45 minutes, packing up both children to attend them was really a hassle, in a labor of love kind of way. Her choice.
Anyway one of my daughter's tendencies as a four year old was to not want to do things she was not particularly good at. I emphasized hard work instead of outcome to hopefully put that more back on track. For what they were doing in that preschool class, she could easily have been on the playground monkey bars for free and just taken the other two classes a week.
She was always asking to go to gym, was talking about how she was going to be on team one day, etc. Then she would get to class, one class in particular where the rest of the children were younger, and she would SOOOO slack off, I mean absolutely wasn't trying and when the coach's back was turned she would do nothing. But didn't want to quit. I am all for letting kids do classes for fun but she was already doing 2 other preschool gymnastics classes a week. I went to the owner finally and asked could the coach hold her accountable please because I don't care for spending money to have bad habits reinforced (not those words but that was my concern). Owner said she thought DD would be discouraged from the sport if she was pushed. This is not true but owner / HC doesn't live with her and know her like I do. DD will perform to the level she is expected to perform to, to a point, with the same level of satisfaction ... probably more from being pushed because she accomplishes more. And now after a year of developmental classes she is starting to internalize this, loves gymnastics more than ever, and we don't have the same kind of issues. She practices on her own -- last year if a coach told her to do something for homework, she would tell me "my teachers don't know what I do at home." She doesn't always give her workouts at the gym 100% but she's working hard.
That's not me pushing my daughter last year but it might look like it from outside the relationship. If you didn't know that this is my daughter's third preschool class of the week, that she's the one wanting to be there not me, you don't know her general developmental level, etc. you could say "how horrible this mom wants to push her 4 year old daughter in gymnastics." When rather, she and I must navigate this together, along with the family budget etc.
So then I ended up having to work like the dickens to get her into developmental classes. DD tells me last summer she wants to take 9 gymnastics classes a week. Wants to be on team. I hoped summer swim team might redirect her interests to something more typically suited to super tall women with big feet. Nope, she got more passionate over the summer. She wants to do gymnastics on vacation at the river. At that point she's only taken rec classes and is very middle of the pack. She's in the top 10% maybe in the population athletically, but of kids taking rec classes probably right in the middle. She's not going to be picked for developmental classes if I do nothing. And at her rate of growth she really needs very frequent conditioning to keep up with herself.
Which is a whole other story but I did get her into developmental classes (which some people might think was me pushing her ... where I see it as simply trying to spend money in a way that advances my daughter's goals most effectively) and she is thriving, still begging for more hours than she gets, and she is still super motivated, and soon, hopefully, she'll be snuggled into a situation where she will have all the hours she wants and she'll be getting the level of training that matches her enthusiasm and goals, and I can sit back and NOT WATCH! Oh, I'll watch some. I just dream of the day she's 8 or 9 and maybe she can just bike or take the bus or carpool to nice 3 hour team practices ...
So ... it's hard to know the backstory of everything we see.
Last year my daughter (age 4) had this ... let's say I am a pre-team gym parent and proud of her but I was not a gymnast and I can see my daughter doing other things if she wants to.
Last year my daughter was in 3 gymnastics classes a week IIRC. Since she was in the preschool division and these classes were 45 minutes, packing up both children to attend them was really a hassle, in a labor of love kind of way. Her choice.
Anyway one of my daughter's tendencies as a four year old was to not want to do things she was not particularly good at. I emphasized hard work instead of outcome to hopefully put that more back on track. For what they were doing in that preschool class, she could easily have been on the playground monkey bars for free and just taken the other two classes a week.
She was always asking to go to gym, was talking about how she was going to be on team one day, etc. Then she would get to class, one class in particular where the rest of the children were younger, and she would SOOOO slack off, I mean absolutely wasn't trying and when the coach's back was turned she would do nothing. But didn't want to quit. I am all for letting kids do classes for fun but she was already doing 2 other preschool gymnastics classes a week. I went to the owner finally and asked could the coach hold her accountable please because I don't care for spending money to have bad habits reinforced (not those words but that was my concern). Owner said she thought DD would be discouraged from the sport if she was pushed. This is not true but owner / HC doesn't live with her and know her like I do. DD will perform to the level she is expected to perform to, to a point, with the same level of satisfaction ... probably more from being pushed because she accomplishes more. And now after a year of developmental classes she is starting to internalize this, loves gymnastics more than ever, and we don't have the same kind of issues. She practices on her own -- last year if a coach told her to do something for homework, she would tell me "my teachers don't know what I do at home." She doesn't always give her workouts at the gym 100% but she's working hard.
That's not me pushing my daughter last year but it might look like it from outside the relationship. If you didn't know that this is my daughter's third preschool class of the week, that she's the one wanting to be there not me, you don't know her general developmental level, etc. you could say "how horrible this mom wants to push her 4 year old daughter in gymnastics." When rather, she and I must navigate this together, along with the family budget etc.
So then I ended up having to work like the dickens to get her into developmental classes. DD tells me last summer she wants to take 9 gymnastics classes a week. Wants to be on team. I hoped summer swim team might redirect her interests to something more typically suited to super tall women with big feet. Nope, she got more passionate over the summer. She wants to do gymnastics on vacation at the river. At that point she's only taken rec classes and is very middle of the pack. She's in the top 10% maybe in the population athletically, but of kids taking rec classes probably right in the middle. She's not going to be picked for developmental classes if I do nothing. And at her rate of growth she really needs very frequent conditioning to keep up with herself.
Which is a whole other story but I did get her into developmental classes (which some people might think was me pushing her ... where I see it as simply trying to spend money in a way that advances my daughter's goals most effectively) and she is thriving, still begging for more hours than she gets, and she is still super motivated, and soon, hopefully, she'll be snuggled into a situation where she will have all the hours she wants and she'll be getting the level of training that matches her enthusiasm and goals, and I can sit back and NOT WATCH! Oh, I'll watch some. I just dream of the day she's 8 or 9 and maybe she can just bike or take the bus or carpool to nice 3 hour team practices ...
So ... it's hard to know the backstory of everything we see.
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