Parents 5 year old pre team

[John]

It all comes to this. Does your daughter ask for more gymnastics or is this something you want for her? Personally, if my daughter were asking I would let her try evaluations at other gyms. Your daughter is at the age where preteam is the place for her. If this is something you want for her just let her have fun in rec classes. Gymnastics is a hard and long road.

 

[Tmacs]

I don’t know about your gym specifically, of course. However the most serious gyms will also look like they are not doing much with actual skills for years. To a non gymnast it definitely looks like a lot of simple things going on in. There is not much actual tumbling or use of big equipment etc. It is all shaping work/small building blocks to eventually become skills/stations of little jumps, summersaults/handstands/cartwheels etc. It was years, for example, before my daughter actually did a backhandspring at gym, but when she did it was beautiful. I felt impatient and wondered why she wasn’t doing them (saw other kids flipping when they weren’t really supposed to yet, etc). My daughter was a rule follower so never did anything until coaches said to, including at home. The process looks boring and slow. But that’s how gymnastics progresses so that when they do skills they are done correctly since when they compete they are judged on the details. Most kids can “do” skills way above where the group is, but they cannot do them perfectly so they aren’t allowed to yet. So sometimes those kids you see who appear less capable are actually developing all the little components to eventually do skills beautifully. Maybe when they asked her to vault they were looking more at her shaping, how she currently holds her shapes/jumps etc and not necessarily whether she has the actual vault? I coach swimming and I can see so much in a tryout and I’m asking them to do things they haven’t done before. But I can see how they hold the water, their body awareness etc and I get a good feel for where to start them off pretty quickly (like a few minutes of watching). I don’t know of course! Just a thought. As a non gymnast I had to learn real patience watching the gymnastics progression. And most of those kids my daughter began with who were “throwing” bigger skills at 4 and 5 quit or stayed behind in levels to fix things because it’s so hard to learn the correct shaping if you’re already doing things before you’re taught the correct way. And of course, it could also be that your gym isn’t the right one for your daughter! Just don’t be surprised if they move very slowly at all of the serious gyms.

This!! So true and very much my daughter's experience. I thought she should be moving faster through compulsories but it was slow and steady, working on strength and form. Now, in her 2nd year of optionals, the skills are just clicking. Took her less than a week to get her giant.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Eh I l’d rather avoid it because there is no need to put any pressure on at this age. I only did because they said I should- if they told me no I would not of taken her.

It’s interesting. I’m not understanding the “pressure” thing. At that age there Is no pressure unless some one puts it on them. If something is approached as no biggie, it’s not.

At that age, my kid went from rec to team and didn’t really even know there was a difference. Then I made a gym switch that she tried out for. Again she had no clue. The new coach asked her to do some stuff and she did.

Of course I didn’t present anything as a big deal. Hey you are going to gymnastics on theses days instead of the old days. And you are going to do some meets.

The gym change, mom is thinking of changing gyms because they want you to go on Saturdays and I don’t thing you’d like to miss all your play dates and birthday parties.

Of course if I made a big deal, she would have thought was a big deal. I remember my first experience with a team parent who made it a big deal. My kid had a bad day and the parent got all huffy with me. “Maybe your kid just isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics”. I couldn’t keep a straight face. “Shes 6, she hasn’t a clue what competitive gymnastics is. She is just going to gym. “.

I wonder how much pressure is coming from you.

 

[Cseibold623]

It’s interesting. I’m not understanding the “pressure” thing. At that age there Is no pressure unless some one puts it on them. If something is approached as no biggie, it’s not.

At that age, my kid went from rec to team and didn’t really even know there was a difference. Then I made a gym switch that she tried out for. Again she had no clue. The new coach asked her to do some stuff and she did.

Of course I didn’t present anything as a big deal. Hey you are going to gymnastics on theses days instead of the old days. And you are going to do some meets.

The gym change, mom is thinking of changing gyms because they want you to go on Saturdays and I don’t thing you’d like to miss all your play dates and birthday parties.

Of course if I made a big deal, she would have thought was a big deal. I remember my first experience with a team parent who made it a big deal. My kid had a bad day and the parent got all huffy with me. “Maybe your kid just isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics”. I couldn’t keep a straight face. “Shes 6, she hasn’t a clue what competitive gymnastics is. She is just going to gym. “.

I wonder how much pressure is coming from you.

That’s your opinion. If I was told she wasn’t ready upon inquiry I would not of brought her- I am not one to think my kids have skills if they really don’t. I am inquiring to see if others had a similar experience as I am new to this also. My kid absolutely does not have to do competitive gymnastics but I also want to foster her skills if I can!

 

[catherine]

It’s interesting. I’m not understanding the “pressure” thing. At that age there Is no pressure unless some one puts it on them. If something is approached as no biggie, it’s not.

At that age, my kid went from rec to team and didn’t really even know there was a difference. Then I made a gym switch that she tried out for. Again she had no clue. The new coach asked her to do some stuff and she did.

Of course I didn’t present anything as a big deal. Hey you are going to gymnastics on theses days instead of the old days. And you are going to do some meets.

The gym change, mom is thinking of changing gyms because they want you to go on Saturdays and I don’t thing you’d like to miss all your play dates and birthday parties.

Of course if I made a big deal, she would have thought was a big deal. I remember my first experience with a team parent who made it a big deal. My kid had a bad day and the parent got all huffy with me. “Maybe your kid just isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics”. I couldn’t keep a straight face. “Shes 6, she hasn’t a clue what competitive gymnastics is. She is just going to gym. “.

I wonder how much pressure is coming from you.

I was hesitant to say any of this, but my thoughts exactly. Where is the pressure in any of this? Unless a parent presents it that way. At 5 it’s a good time to make these things low key and help set them up to face change in a low key way. Helps for the future! And if they do gymnastics they will have evaluations often and need to be okay with staying in a group or moving to another. If it feels like pressure they will struggle every time or feel like they failed whenever they don’t move. So present it as no big deal at a young age to help set the stage.

 

[Cseibold623]

I was hesitant to say any of this, but my thoughts exactly. Where is the pressure in any of this? Unless a parent presents it that way. At 5 it’s a good time to make these things low key and help set them up to face change in a low key way. Helps for the future! And if they do gymnastics they will have evaluations often and need to be okay with staying in a group or moving to another. If it feels like pressure they will struggle every time or feel like they failed whenever they don’t move. So present it as no big deal at a young age to help set the stage.

No my issue was that I inquired and they told me I should pursue having her evaluated- I would not of had her evaluated otherwise. It simply put more pressure and hopes up for something she simply wasn’t ready for. I didn’t put pressure on her at all but she did leave feeling down on herself being alongside bigger kids who could do more than her. I’ll just be way more careful in the future to really know if she is ready or not

 

[catherine]

No my issue was that I inquired and they told me I should pursue having her evaluated- I would not of had her evaluated otherwise. It simply put more pressure and hopes up for something she simply wasn’t ready for. I didn’t put pressure on her at all but she did leave feeling down on herself being alongside bigger kids who could do more than her. I’ll just be way more careful in the future to really know if she is ready or

No my issue was that I inquired and they told me I should pursue having her evaluated- I would not of had her evaluated otherwise. It simply put more pressure and hopes up for something she simply wasn’t ready for. I didn’t put pressure on her at all but she did leave feeling down on herself being alongside bigger kids who could do more than her. I’ll just be way more careful in the future to really know if she is ready or not

It’s hard to know how to navigate this sport. I often felt clueless when my daughter was little. She was in rec and a coach approached my husband about team and he said sure for a tryout. I was not ready for the commitment, $, wear on her body etc! But she did it. They do start young though and if she does want to do team eventually, you may want to make sure she learns the basics properly to reduce risk of injury and years of relearning basic shapes. So it may be a good idea to see if other gyms will put her in a preteam class. Or hopefully the rec coaches were told what she needs to work on prior to her next evaluation. If she is doing any gymnastics away from gym it’s impt she does it carefully and w good technique so it doesn’t hold her back from getting on a preteam or keep her there longer. If she is doing this for fun (not that team isn’t fun in its own way) that doesn’t matter so much, but if this is what she wants…meaning she loves gymnastics currently then it would.

Also, in gymnastics after each season they uptrain. Often they are put with a group of girls to work on specific skills for the next level. In our experience that could be 8-10 girls who work all post season on those skills (for us May-Aug). Then at the end they are all evaluated and maybe 5 go up a level and 5 stay where they were and stop working on those skills to work on what they will compete for the season. So the girls do need to learn to be okay with not being moved and hopefully not feel devastated by that. I thought that seemed hard to work for months on a new skill set and then be told no and go back to the skill set from the previous season. My daughter was moved yearly, but so many girls were not. So I’m not sure how she would have handled it, but it has to be challenging mentally for these little girls if they feel extra pressure at all. It is best for them to do it at their own pace, so I do understand the reasons. Parents definitely have to be the soft landing in this sport and as non chalant as possible so the kids don’t feel like failures every time friends/teammates are moved up and they are not. Also they often end up back together in a year or two.

It’s such a different sport…world of its own. My daughter had to leave due to a back injury a year ago at 13.5. Way too many beam back walkovers….very unfortunate. She stood during one when she felt something weird happen in her back…should have just fallen…tore tendons along spine and recovery was long and hard and emotionally awful. Last advice…protect her back. Don’t let her do back bends/bridges etc at home. My daughter has great shoulder flexibility and generally protected her back, didn’t do things away from gym that could hurt it, but her final season she was definitely overdoing the back walkovers on beam at gym, a skill she had done for at least 4 years. I even commented on it bc I was worried one night when I came in early and she was on a beam “over working” them.
Good luck to your daughter. If she loves gymnastics and ends up doing team it is really amazing to watch as a parent!!

 

[Cseibold623]

It’s hard to know how to navigate this sport. I often felt clueless when my daughter was little. She was in rec and a coach approached my husband about team and he said sure for a tryout. I was not ready for the commitment, $, wear on her body etc! But she did it. They do start young though and if she does want to do team eventually, you may want to make sure she learns the basics properly to reduce risk of injury and years of relearning basic shapes. So it may be a good idea to see if other gyms will put her in a preteam class. Or hopefully the rec coaches were told what she needs to work on prior to her next evaluation. If she is doing any gymnastics away from gym it’s impt she does it carefully and w good technique so it doesn’t hold her back from getting on a preteam or keep her there longer. If she is doing this for fun (not that team isn’t fun in its own way) that doesn’t matter so much, but if this is what she wants…meaning she loves gymnastics currently then it would.

Also, in gymnastics after each season they uptrain. Often they are put with a group of girls to work on specific skills for the next level. In our experience that could be 8-10 girls who work all post season on those skills (for us May-Aug). Then at the end they are all evaluated and maybe 5 go up a level and 5 stay where they were and stop working on those skills to work on what they will compete for the season. So the girls do need to learn to be okay with not being moved and hopefully not feel devastated by that. I thought that seemed hard to work for months on a new skill set and then be told no and go back to the skill set from the previous season. My daughter was moved yearly, but so many girls were not. So I’m not sure how she would have handled it, but it has to be challenging mentally for these little girls if they feel extra pressure at all. It is best for them to do it at their own pace, so I do understand the reasons. Parents definitely have to be the soft landing in this sport and as non chalant as possible so the kids don’t feel like failures every time friends/teammates are moved up and they are not. Also they often end up back together in a year or two.

It’s such a different sport…world of its own. My daughter had to leave due to a back injury a year ago at 13.5. Way too many beam back walkovers….very unfortunate. She stood during one when she felt something weird happen in her back…should have just fallen…tore tendons along spine and recovery was long and hard and emotionally awful. Last advice…protect her back. Don’t let her do back bends/bridges etc at home. My daughter has great shoulder flexibility and generally protected her back, didn’t do things away from gym that could hurt it, but her final season she was definitely overdoing the back walkovers on beam at gym, a skill she had done for at least 4 years. I even commented on it bc I was worried one night when I came in early and she was on a beam “over working” them.
Good luck to your daughter. If she loves gymnastics and ends up doing team it is really amazing to watch as a parent!!

Thank you I really appreciate your advice- it helps a lot. Honestly “team” wasn’t on my radar till she was exceeding her class goals and I inquired and they said to pursue evals. I just want to help her along if this is a dream/ strength of hers. I may just get her another rec class at another gym to supplement what is currently doing and give her hours in the gym.

 

[newbie504]

No my issue was that I inquired and they told me I should pursue having her evaluated- I would not of had her evaluated otherwise. It simply put more pressure and hopes up for something she simply wasn’t ready for. I didn’t put pressure on her at all but she did leave feeling down on herself being alongside bigger kids who could do more than her. I’ll just be way more careful in the future to really know if she is ready or not

I understand what you are saying. My daughter is younger than yours, recently made 4, and is on preteam. I wouldn't have gone this route if her coaches didn't suggest it. You just expected for her to join since they are the ones that brought it up

 

[Loopy]

Yeah, my eldest got invited for an evaluation (we didnt ask). But then was rejected due to not being strong enough. They put her in a more advanced rec class instead, which she did for a year and a half (there 12 levels in it and each one takes a school term - we have 4 terms a year, so it was supposed to take 3 years). But she was pushed through them faster and skipped half of them. Only to finish them all and be told that she'd have to wait for team try outs for another 6 months. So we switched gyms, went and did a try out and was invited to join their team straight away.
It was disappointing she didn't get in the first time, but that's the point of an evaluation. To take kids they think might be ok and put them through their paces, and from that some will and some won't. One of the main issue mine had was they made her do a rope climb - she'd never even tried it before, so couldn't do it. With a little instruction on technique later, she could.
But it all worked out for the best! Old gym she'd have been one of many. New gym was much smaller, coaches with more attention to detail, more hours too but she loved that. She would probably not have made the A team at the old gym. But new gym they only had an A team. Her team went on to win every comp, and she came 1st in her level for her age group individually well.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I inquired and they said to pursue evals..

so to be clear.…..
You initiated the inquiry.

They then said to do an eval.

An eval is where they decide yes or no. Yet you seem to feel evals should be the eval should be an automatic yes. “If you had known it was a no you wouldn’t have bothered”. If that decision could be made without an eval, there would be no need for evals.

In my kids now former gum, the rec coaches are still in HS. No matter how talented they think a kid is. They are not qualified to decide what kids make team.

You keep saying if you had known it was a no you wouldn’t have bothered. But that’s the point of the eval. To decide yes or no.

And again, to circle back around. How was it presented to your daughter by you. You dont owe me or need to explain yourself to me but how you presented it matters.

A child can’t be disappointed unless they are told it is something that “matters”. Again no explanation needed but I’m guessing you presented as more then, hey we’re just going to do this thing to see about your skills. They are going to ask you to do some stuff, just do what you can.

It seems there was some projecting going on

 

[Cseibold623]

so to be clear.…..
You initiated the inquiry.

They then said to do an eval.

An eval is where they decide yes or no. Yet you seem to feel evals should be the eval should be an automatic yes. “If you had known it was a no you wouldn’t have bothered”. If that decision could be made without an eval, there would be no need for evals.

In my kids now former gum, the rec coaches are still in HS. No matter how talented they think a kid is. They are not qualified to decide what kids make team.

You keep saying if you had known it was a no you wouldn’t have bothered. But that’s the point of the eval. To decide yes or no.

And again, to circle back around. How was it presented to your daughter by you. You dont owe me or need to explain yourself to me but how you presented it matters.

A child can’t be disappointed unless they are told it is something that “matters”. Again no explanation needed but I’m guessing you presented as more then, hey we’re just going to do this thing to see about your skills. They are going to ask you to do some stuff, just do what you can.

It seems there was some projecting going on

No actually she doesn’t even really know what she was trying out for. She did however leave feeling bad about herself because she was alongside older girls who could do more than her. I would think they could determine if a child isn’t ready or does not have what it takes but there was definitely a discrepancy between what the coaches think is ready and what the owner thinks.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

She did however leave feeling bad about herself because she was alongside older girls who could do more than her

I would think as a mom you were able to talk that out with her.

But quite honestly if your child is not ready to run her own race and is overly concerned about what others are doing. This was a good indication she is not ready for team.

On team every single meet is an “evaluation“. Every single meet is an opportunity to feel bad about yourself or an opportunity to see what you did well and what you need to work on. That never goes away.

My kid has been the only one at her gym not to come home with a medal at a meet despite scoring higher than the rest of her team because of the division she was in. She has also gotten medals with lower scores than others again, because of the age group/ division she was in.

Around here we do not focus on what anyone else is doing. Just on what she is doing. From day one. She is a soon to be HS senior. With gymnastic friends who moved on long ago, and gymnastics friends who are far ahead of her in skills.

 

[JessSyd]

A child can’t be disappointed unless they are told it is something that “matters”.

This…..simply isn’t true. Sure, a parent’s attitude and words can help set the tone for an activity, but it isn’t the only factor. Kids aren’t computers where the right input will inevitably lead to the desired response. And no matter how chill a parent is, they can’t control what is said and done within the child’s hearing at the event.

Five year olds have eyes, ears, and thoughts that their parents don’t entirely shape or control. Kids know what matters to them. And they are going to notice something like everybody else being bigger and older than them and feeling like they are struggling to keep up.

Sometimes all you can do as a parent is help to contextualise things after the event.

 

[Cseibold623]

This…..simply isn’t true. Sure, a parent’s attitude and words can help set the tone for an activity, but it isn’t the only factor. Kids aren’t computers where the right input will inevitably lead to the desired response. And no matter how chill a parent is, they can’t control what is said and done within the child’s hearing at the event.

Five year olds have eyes, ears, and thoughts that their parents don’t entirely shape or control. Kids know what matters to them. And they are going to notice something like everybody else being bigger and older than them and feeling like they are struggling to keep up.

Sometimes all you can do as a parent is help to contextualise things after the event.

thank you!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Sometimes all you can do as a parent is help to contextualise things after the event.

yes I said that