5yo Attention and Boredom in Gym

[GymWithoutEnd]

I just wanted to share my recent experience. Maybe it will help someone else.

My youngest dd has been in gymnastics off and on since she was 3yo. She is 5yo now. She was placed in a rec class for preschoolers over and over.....and it was clear, even to my untrained eye that she was not where she belonged in terms of skill and ability.

I asked her coach what she thought and she said my dd was strong and talented, but didn't really pay attention well enough to be anywhere but the preschool gym. I accepted that answer for a while, but something didn't feel right about it. I could see my dd's attention drifting, but I could also see her body wanting to do something more than jump a hopscotch design on the floor or take one swing on a bar.

I am not good at questioning authority, but I finally got up my nerve and approached the powers that be at the gym and very kindly posed the question, "Is it possible that my dd is not paying attention because she is a little bored"?

Since anything is possible, they agreed and told me she could "try" the first level of preteam and see if the coach thought she could catch up with the girls in that group who had been together for almost a year.

I was amazed. DD was in her element in this new group (all 5yos like herself) where she was constantly working and reworking skills. She was challenged by new skills she couldn't quite do and proud of herself for things she could do very well. No one watching would guess she was the "new kid" in the group.

And most importantly, she paid attention. As well as any other 5yo. And she came out of her class sweaty and tired........not still bouncing off the wall.

She now goes twice a week and is on team track. She feels good about what she is doing now. And I feel satisfied that she is in a group appropriate for her ability.

The moral is that it never hurts to ask, and being an advocate for your child can make all the difference in the world.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

My DD was similar at 5- could have written your post. We ended up switching gyms b/c gym #1 where she had been since she was crawling thought she didn't "have what it takes" to make the preteam. Gym #2 ( better, more successful, bigger gym BTW) took her on to pre-team immediatley. Today she is a L4 training L5 and having a blast!!

Best wishes to your DD!

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Good for you mama and good for your dd!

I had a similar experience with dd's old gym as well. She was clearly bored in her rec class and I enquired about having her in the pre-competitive group. I was told several times that because she was very strong but not flexible, she did not have the potential for competitive.

They FINALLY conceded to have her tryout for the invitational (sort of a lower competitive level here in Ontario) and the pre-comp coach said, "Why has this girl not been training with me for the past year?"

We left that gym in April because of other issues, and she is thriving at her new gym, where they see the potential in everyone.

 

[juststartingout]

My 5yo dd had the same problem. She was in a beginner class and while she had her skills she was doing them sloppy and rushing and plain goofing off. She would be bouncing up and down while the coach gave orders then have to ask what they were supposed to do. Luckily though the coach actually came to me and said that he wanted to move her up, he felt her silliness and lack of focus was boredom. She had her first preteam practice last Friday and she looked like a different child and fit right in with girls 7-10yo. I'm like you and don't question authority too often so I'm glad he recognized it or she probably would still be in beginners classes 5 years from now.

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

Thanks for your replies and for sharing similar experiences. I had the same vision ....... of sitting and watching her in a rec class for the next ten years.

I wonder how girls are actually found in rec classes and placed on team. I have seen a remarkable difference in my girls since they started going twice a week and adding hours. But I am not sure they would have improved if they had remained in a one class a week program.

I'm interested in how gyms choose girls for teams. I know some gyms welcome most anyone. I'm pretty sure our gym does not. In my case, it has been being in the right place at the right time, or my speaking up for my daughter in the second place.

By the time a girl is old enough to state she wants to be a gymnast more than anything else.......more than other activities........in some gyms she would be considered too old for USAG training. Sadly, I don't think most people understand that, and I'm sure little girls do not.

Because I have older children, and some experience from years ago, I "kind of" know how the system works, but most people don't really know coming in.

I'm curious how other gyms choose team members? Are there try outs? Our gym seems to separate the tracks very young.....by 4 or 5, and I'm thinking it might be hard to know at that age how children will turn out......

 

[Azgymmiemom]

I'm curious how other gyms choose team members? Are there try outs? Our gym seems to separate the tracks very young.....by 4 or 5, and I'm thinking it might be hard to know at that age how children will turn out......

Fully half...or more....of our team kids came from rec classes. Our rec coaches will get real excited about a kid and work to place them on preteam or team. Usually, these are older kids...9, 10 or even teens. If they show desire, drive and a bit of talent...and have families willing to support them, they are given the opportunity. Good thing for my son....he was 9 when he took his first gym class.

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

'm curious how other gyms choose team members? Are there try outs? Our gym seems to separate the tracks very young.....by 4 or 5, and I'm thinking it might be hard to know at that age how children will turn out......

At our gym they are selected out of the rec classes, sometimes after one rec class, sometimes after several months, even a year or two, then put into the pre team/team stream. Age is not really a limiting factor, older girls are always welcome as long as they are prepared to work hard, this year we had an eleven year old in a pre team class.

My DD had just turned six when she started gym, she loved it, but tended to goof off in the rec classes. I was surprised when they moved her into the team stream... and even more surprised at how hard she then immediately started working.

 

[juststartingout]

At our gym the kids are picked from the beginners classes. If someone comes in immediately interested in team they are required to take the beginners class and then the coach determines if they are ready for preteam. The only way to get past it is if the kid was at another gym already competing and then they can be evaluated for level. The coach told me they look at strength and flexibility. Apparently attention span isn't too big of a determining factor because they asked my dd and she was the only one in her group asked and probably one of the least focused. Although focus came with the change in class thank goodness.

 

[gymmutti]

My youngest dd was just asked to move up to our pre-team starting in January. I have been worried because she acts like a 5 year old (which she is) and is always hopping around and falling on the floor and doing cartwheels when waiting for her turn. My oldest dd went to pre-team right after turning 8 and the difference in their focus level is dramatic. However, my younger dd has been on the jr. pre-team since the summer and I'm trusting they wouldn't move her up unless they think she is ready.

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

I hope I"m doing this right..... I wanted to add a followup to my post about advocating for my daughter to be on the team track. I have two girls in gymnastics. The older one started Level 4 training this summer. This is about my 5yo who I requested be allowed to try the team track training and she did well.

But...... when it came time to move the girls up to preteam this summer, she was moved to a rec team (AAU). I asked about this move because I've had more than 15 years experience as a gym mom and I can tell when a child is strong or flexibile or whatever. The preteam coach said she would love to have her in her class and had assumed she would be in it. She didn't seem to know what was up, but she offered to help me understand.

I heard many different things, all of which supposedly came from the head coach. I heard different things from the same people on different days. Finally, the preteam coach gave me a call, as a friend, and told me the head coach had told her that my daughter was too big for elite. She is 5yo, weighs 54 pounds, and I didn't want her to be an elite anyway. That was never in my mind. I just wanted her to do as well as possible in a sport she loves.

Coach said she could stay with her until the end of the summer, but the word from the top was that she would not ever go any further.

wow. Even with my years in the sport, I'm stunned. Would it not be easier for our gym to have one of those height and weight signs like you see at amusement parks outside the front door and a sign that says anyone larger than the 10th percentile need not apply.

What are they thinking?

I'm not fighting it. I put her in the rec team and she is happy as a lark. Still wears her leotard everyday and carries around her 17yo sisters old grips and grip bag.

I realize now that the problem all along was that someone decided way back when she was 3 that she was too big. Being strong and flexible must not count for anything. Guess I will just see how thins go from here. It seems a sad state of affairs for children though.......

 

[MaryA]

What a shame! Do you have any other options for gyms? One of DD's best friends in the gym is in the 80th percentile for hight and is training level 7. Her younger sister, who is in the 90th percentile, is training level 5. There are also other girls in the gym who are more "solidly" built and that doesn't keep them from getting their skills and being good gymnasts. There are gyms out there who would take a strong and flexible girl who is enthusiastic and a hard worker over a particular body type any day of the week.

 

[3stars]

Wow, that totally stinks. I completely understand. My daughter is 8 years old, but in appearance is closer to 12 or 13 in height and weight. She hasn't been on a growth chart since she was 2 weeks old. She just loves gymnastics and we have been lucky enough to find a gym that let her work her way up to team even though she isn't the right body type and isn't that great at it (just being honest, I would never tell my child that she isn't good at it). But we also know that if we took her to any other gym in town, that wouldn't even consider her for any sort of team. My husband and I have agreed that as long as she wants to do it and it makes her happy, we will let her.

Its completely horrible that they won't let your daughter try because of her size. I hope that she has an awesome season with her team!

 

[momnipotent]

If that was the attitude at our gym I would be running for another gym. No way would I leave my dd under a head coach with that type of attitude about body type (and unless you are at one of the gyms producing elites I would be tempted to ask him just how many elite gymnasts he has produced and comment on how 'effective' his decision making process has proven to be for him on my way out the door)

 

[MaryA]

Totally agree with Momnipotent... even though your daughter is happy with her rec team, I would be worried about the messages (spoken or unspoken) that your daughter would be getting about her body at that gym. I would want my daughter at a gym where they would value her for everything she is rather than judging her for everything she isn't. Plus I just wouldn't want to be giving my hard-earned money to that gym any more.

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

Thanks. I'm sorry to know this happens to others, but also comforted to know I'm not alone.

I am considering my options. Will keep you posted if we make any changes.

It seems that American coaches and owners are more dedicated to gymnastics being about the children, while coaches from other countries are more culturally narrow in their acceptance of different body types.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

very unfortunate. please do not paint a broad stroke thru my profession. there must be another gym that you can attend?

 

[gymdog]

You didn't by any chance use to post on another forum under another name? If so PM me...your description of your kids ages just seems familiar but I'm sure it could be a ton of families, but maybe not that have posted on gymnastics forums

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

Dunno, I was not trying to stereotype anyone in your profession. I've known many awesome coaches. I would not want to paint with a broad stroke, anymore than I like it being done to my kids. But mine isn't the only experience with children being chosen or set aside at a very young age based on cultural preferences from other countries. I'm glad it's not your way.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i know that. just generally speaking for everyone that reads here that coaches/programs are not all alike. sometimes i read stuff here that makes me want to scream thru the computer.

 

[wandrewsjr]

Wow. Your story has me wanting to scream, too. One part of me wants to tell you that you shoud not stay at a program that is run like this. By leaving your child there, you are giving passive support to the way they run their program. Why would they ever change if everyone they treat this way stays? BUT the other part of me says you shouldn't use a 5 year old as a pawn to make a statement. If SHE is happy being on their rec team, than that is all that matters. Sometimes their is no perfect choice.