Parents A little frustrated..

[GymMom22107]

My daughter is in pre team as i've posted before. Well recently they've been adding brand new girls to the mix. They started off with like 16 kids and were down to like 7-8 kids this past month. Well now like 4 brand new girls who really don't seem to be near the level the other girls are at have been added to the mix. Another mom and I were talking about this and honestly it really bothered us both. It seems as though the coaches are needing to spend extra time with these girls who haven't been in the class since June like the other girls have and so then obviously it takes away from the other girls. Is this common and am I just overreacting? It bothers me that because my daughter basically gets it they seem to not pay very much attention to her and now that these news girls are here, it's even worse. It's just frustrating I guess. I thought about having her do privates to get that one on one attention but after thinking about it realized I really shouldn't have to do that. We moved to this gym from the YMCA a year ago because I didn't like the way the YMCA ran their program, and it seemed very unsafe to me as well. I can't help but to feel frustrated that I pay the same amount of money as everyone else but my daughter gets way less attention. I hope I don't sounds nuts saying all this but my husband thinks I should discuss my concerns with the coach but I don't want to come off sounding like a crazy person. Should I just sit back and deal with it or bring it up? In my opinion they should of just made another class and kept the 8 girls who have been there since June together with one coach and another class that is just beginning with another coach. Sometimes they do split them up into groups but a lot of times they are together also. What do you all think? Also does anyone have any advice on how I could bring this up with the coach without sounding too critical, I don't want them to think I don't think they know what they are doing, because they have taught my daughter a lot and I appreciate that but I also don't want to say nothing if I should.

 

[nameless]

i bet this is common.. and wasn't there a time when your dd was new to pre-team? or were they all started at the same time? at our gym last year there were the old 3's and new 3's.. this year a few of the old 3's have moved to L4.. the rest of the old and new 3's are now combined AND they added brand new kids that came off of rec. few of us complain amongst ourselves because the newest girls are getting much more intense training than we got our first year on team, though we paid less (for less hours).. isn't there always something to complain about? ha. really, in your case i think it will all balance out. i get frustrated easy, but it always seems that a week or 2 later i wonder what i was complaining about. currently they split dd's team into 2 groups by skill level.. and currently my dd needs way less attention than she used to because she understands more than she used to and has mastered more skills that just need cleanup. the new kids won't be new forever.. if 6 months from now it still seems that the attention is unbalanced i'd say something.. that's just me, though.. things will get better and so will those new girls.. and you never know they may catch up quick.. we have a few brand new team kids that have really caught up very quickly!

 

[GymMom22107]

They all started at the same time in June. They have like different levels for pre-team and this one is for the younger kids, like 4-6 yr olds. In the very beginning there was one girl who had done the class last year but she moved up like a week after the class began. Like I said, I don't want to be a big complainer, but I figured I'd get some advice on if it's something I should bring up. I guess at this point there really isn't much they can do anyway since the girls are already in the class. So I'll just see what happens. I guess as long as my daughter keeps learning news stuff, I really can't complain. We'll see.

 

[cbifoja]

Our developmental classes are very dynamic. We don't have our girls do one exact year at preteam. When they are ready to move from developmental class to pre-team, they go. If they are ready for L3, they go to L3, although we usually don't move to team much after January just because of State.

So yeah, very fluid at that level.

I think many parents fear that our kid isn't getting "enough" attention. But if your daughter is happy and progressing, then her she's getting enough attention. I always remember that treating kids fairly doesn't mean treating them the exact same. It means making sure each kid gets their needs met.

 

[HoldThePhone]

We're sort of going through this right now too. We joined pre-team at the end of August, and we were new to our gym. DD had just been moved from Adv Preschool to the Pre-Team. After her first day I felt a little odd because I wasn't sure if my daughter was really ready, and everyone else had already been together almost three months. The other girls were working on skills my daughter had never seen in her other classes, I knew that she needed the extra help but some of the moms on this new group were pretty catty, and I didn't want my daughter being a "cause" for any more of it. Well my DD didn't get really extra attention, just different attention I'd say. After a couple weeks she'd caught up to the other girls and it wasn't a big deal. Now she's surpassed many of them, so in the end I think it all evens out with attention, readiness and so forth.

Now, we had one new girl add before the holidays, and one right after. Last night in addition, we had 3 more new girls! The group seemed a chaotic mess. The coaches are great, I have no issues with how the group was led, but there were just so MANY of them! And yes the new girls maybe needed more direction, but in our case at least, it didn't seem like those of us that had been in the group longer were being ignored, or worked with less. My only concern now is the size of the group, and if it's too big for two coaches (one of which joins the group 15 minutes late, and leaves 15 minutes early for other groups) to handle.

If you notice over the next few practices that attention remains focused on the new girls, and not the rest of the team, a talk with the coaches may be necessary, but my guess is things will even out.

 

[LizzieLac]

I think it happens a lot at many levels. My DD is repeating level 5 and has all of her level 6 skills. Her level 5 group has girls that just moved up from level 4, as well as several repeating level 5s. These two groups are vastly different in their skills.
we also have a "little" who is not competing because she is not old enough, but is too advanced to work out with the level 4s. There are plenty of times that the new 5s need extra attention since they are still trying to improve their kips and beam cartwheels. And the "little," while she is a natural tumbler, isn't even close to doing a kip, so she literally will get one coach all to herself for 15 minutes during practice to work just on her kip and she gets a lot of "coddling" because she isn't as mature as the older girls.

The repeating level 5s don't get as much attention on level 5 skills, generally speaking, but the flip-side is that they get to uptrain level 6 and some level 7 skills. Sometimes I do feel that the attention of the coaches is not "equal" and my DD has said she sometimes feels that it isn't fair, but practically speaking the repeating level 5s are more mature and more self-sufficient. In some ways, they need less "hands on" coaching, if you know what I mean.

I have come to realize that the gym has to organize the girls in some way for their workouts and there will always be "newer" one or ones that are not as far along as the others in the group. But grouping them this way is the most efficient way for the gym to run practice.

As long as my DD is improving and adding new skills, I have told her that is what matters. Looking for total equality and fairness in the workout and coach's time is unrealistic. The one thing you might want to look at, however, is time spent on the apparatus. If the newer kids take extra turns, preventing others from getting their turns on the beam, for example, that might be something worth speaking up about.

Hope our personal experience helps give you some info to consider. Good luck!

 

[krisnkids]

Good coaches will account for the different levels of each individual child. You may have a level 4 team who has one girl who can do level 7 stuff on beam. A coach is not going to make her keep working on level 4 stuff. Same on bars, vault and floor. The first few days may seem like chaos, but give it time. Everyone has to start from somewhere. I would not suggest speaking to the coach about it unless you feel your dd is not working on appropriate exercises, even then I would adress it as if your dd is working on appropriate stuff.

 

[wallflower]

It is normal on "teams" to have many different levels and ability levels. I understand she is just on preteam and I'll come back to that in a minute. My DD is a level 7 and is often with level 7-10. And to makes matters worse my DD is the new one who just came on who is sort of behind everyone else. So sometimes she needs a little extra attention where the other girls have their skills and don't need as much hands on. They are still getting as many turns and opportunities, it's just different.

No preteam shouldn't be as wide as a new level 7 with a level 10, but there will be varying degrees of ability. My DD when she as little has been the little new one needing more as well as the seasoned one needing less. Hopefully they will at some point move up your DD and she will be the weakest link in the next level. I think it all evens out in the long run.

 

[mommyof1]

We are on the opposite end of it with my daughter's preteam. The first two preteam levels practice at the same time, but the second level stays longer. This fall there were only about five girls left in the group, 3 Level 1s who had been there since the beginning of the summer and 2 Level 2s who were in their second full year of the preteam program. My daughter moved up in October, and since then there has been a steady stream of new kids moving up. Some have nearly the same skills as the Level 2s, but others can't even do a proper cartwheel. They range in age from 4 to 8. The parents of the veteran preteam kids are openly hostile and resentful to the new kids and to the additional coaches who have been brought in so that the group can be divided, and the original coach is obviously frustrated on the days when she gets stuck teaching the new ones. I find the parents' reaction baffling, since their kids are getting the same amount of attention (or more) as before, and sometimes even get to train with the Level 4 group. Furthermore, these kids were presumably not born knowing how to do a tic-toc, and must have been the new ones in the group at some point.

What bothers me about the range of skill levels among the new crop of preteamers is that there are several girls in the group whose skills are identical to the skills my daughter had a year ago. It makes me wonder why she was held back for a year in order to develop certain skills (which these new kids do not have) and how much more progress she could have made if she'd been allowed to train with the preteam for the past year, but it doesn't make me think that these girls don't have a right to that same training just because my daughter had to wait for it. I do believe that if the gym were more transparent and consistent in its policies (requirements and timelines for move-ups, and especially the behavior expectations for preteam gymnasts) there would be a lot less resentment all around. Fortunately, my daughter seems oblivious to all of it.

 

[LizzieLac]

I do believe that if the gym were more transparent and consistent in its policies (requirements and timelines for move-ups, and especially the behavior expectations for preteam gymnasts) there would be a lot less resentment all around.QUOTE]

Well, that's a whole different topic.

 

[SignHere]

last year my daughter would come home from practice and tell me she couldn't get the coaches' attention at all during practice. It seemed like they were only interested in coaching "Suzy" ( the girl who was already getting 9's on all the events...they wanted her to get a 9.7 instead of a 9.2)

That's what this is all about. If parents perceive that their kid is not getting equal attention, then their kid is not gonna get good coaching, good position in flight lineup at meets, good scores, and they are not gonna win.

 

[cbifoja]

That's what this is all about. If parents perceive that their kid is not getting equal attention, then their kid is not gonna get good coaching, good position in flight lineup at meets, good scores, and they are not gonna win.

This is hard for my ex-husband and parents to understand. Bella is always up first....as she should be. She's the youngest and her skills aren't as polished. Our coach simply says that she has to earn placement in the line up and right now, she's first up. It drives my folks crazy and then complain about it not being fair, that she won't get high scores always being first, etc. But like you said, it's part of the sport and they sure weren't complaining when she was protected all last year as an L3.

You can't have it both ways!

 

[wallflower]

This is hard for my ex-husband and parents to understand. Bella is always up first....as she should be. She's the youngest and her skills aren't as polished. Our coach simply says that she has to earn placement in the line up and right now, she's first up. It drives my folks crazy and then complain about it not being fair, that she won't get high scores always being first, etc. But like you said, it's part of the sport and they sure weren't complaining when she was protected all last year as an L3.

You can't have it both ways!

No offense to you Bella's mom, just a general reply here. People complaining about line-up and scores because of line up is my biggest pet peeve. You would think the way people talk that if you go 3 kids later in the line-up you are going to get a 9.5 instead of an 8.5! It doesn't make that drastic of a difference. The really good kids will get awesome scores for awersome routines no matter where they go in the line-up. A sloppy poorly executed routine will still get a score that reflects that even if the kid goes last in the line-up. I'm not saying it might not sometimes be the difference of a tenth or two, but it's not that big of a deal. The coaches rarely even get to choose the order here, but boy when they do the parents sure jump all over the chance to act like crazy people over it. End of rant

 

[krisnkids]

This is hard for my ex-husband and parents to understand. Bella is always up first....as she should be. She's the youngest and her skills aren't as polished. Our coach simply says that she has to earn placement in the line up and right now, she's first up. It drives my folks crazy and then complain about it not being fair, that she won't get high scores always being first, etc. But like you said, it's part of the sport and they sure weren't complaining when she was protected all last year as an L3.

You can't have it both ways!

See, this is another thing they do here that they do not do in California. In California rotation schedules are set if its capital cup format, flight a/b, then there are 8 "groups", if not capital cup then 4 groups. In each group on each event: first event the first girl starts. Second event the 3rd girl starts, third event the 5th girl starts and the fourth event the 7th girl starts. Usually anywhere from 8-10 girls in each rotation. When I went to our first meet here and there was no rotating who goes first I was a bit shocked.

 

[Aussie_coach]

The gym is also a business. The gym owners, coaches and staff do need to make a living and they do need to put this before the priority of every child getting one on one attention. Having a Pre team of 7 girls and then another one of 4 girls is not financially viable. Especially if the drop out rate is that high.

 

[gymmommy123]

I saw the same problem with my daughter when she was on hot shots/preteam. She started with a pretty big group of older girls who were 8 and 9 yrs old, and she was 4 1/2. Over time the bigger girls all moved up, and she was around for a long time as new girls were added to the group. When the group was big enough, they'd have two coaches and split them by ability which was great, but when the group dwindled down to 8 or less, there would be one coach. She had been in the group about 1.5 yrs and had been there the longest, and then new girls would come in that couldn't do a cartwheel or pull-over and she desperately needed time working things like BHS/ROBHS and front HC. A LOT of time would go into the bottom level of the group, out of necessity. It was a little frustrating for me, but I knew the coaches were doing their best to try to coach them all. I did do monthly privates just to get a little extra one-on-one time with the best coach, and they really helped and my daughter LOVED her privates. She's recently been moved up and moved to a new gym and now she's the "new" and "little" girl, so I know there will be times she needs more work than the older, higher level girls, but so far, I am thrilled with how the coaches work with them all and push them all to do their best. Hopefully the other moms don't resent having her with their girls, as they all need to start somewhere. Plus, my daughter feels she has to prove she deserves to be with the "big girls" and works really hard with them, and they are absolutely sweeties to her, which I really appreciate.

 

[Committed]

I can see your frustration. There are a lot of times I feel like my DD is being "ignored". Before she even moved to team, in her regular rec class, she was by far the best (and youngest). Her coach would just have her do drills while she helped the other girls do pull-overs. To this day, DD has her legs apart during her casts because the details weren't as important as the older girls getting their skills.
Now, she trains with the L3/L4 team. The coaches spent a lot of time getting the L4 girls to do ROBHS. One girl was even put on L4 w/o a regular BHS!!! She ended up getting them and has lovely form, but no one understood the coaches decision at the time. So, there was logic, but as a parent in the audience, it was irritating.

Like azhorses said, there is going to be times when your kid is going to be the most advanced, and then she'll move up. Then will probably be thrown onto a team with repeaters and their moms will be irritated that your kid is getting too much attention.

 

[GymBeeMom]

Our family motto is: "it's not about what's fair, it's about everyone getting what they need." Great minds think alike

Our developmental classes are very dynamic. We don't have our girls do one exact year at preteam. When they are ready to move from developmental class to pre-team, they go. If they are ready for L3, they go to L3, although we usually don't move to team much after January just because of State.

So yeah, very fluid at that level.

I think many parents fear that our kid isn't getting "enough" attention. But if your daughter is happy and progressing, then her she's getting enough attention. I always remember that treating kids fairly doesn't mean treating them the exact same. It means making sure each kid gets their needs met.

 

[mndl]

When my daughter joined the first level of pre-team in September there were 11 girls. She was one of 4 new girls. They also added 4 in June and I know 2 parents whose daughters had joined in Feb. It was pretty obvious who was new for the first few weeks, but now not so much. They have two coaches for my daughters level and they seem to get the help they need. In a sport like gymnastics, especially at the lower levels, it seems like there will be many different skill levels, good coaches and coaching should keep things running smoothly.

 

[tooootsie]

I think this isn't common. Both my kiddos are "pre-team" kids. And especially for my oldest, her team has not changed since she started. She was the last to be added to her "pre-team" last May. The rest of the girls started in December. So my daughter was the kid added later. There are 6 girls on her pre-team and they never add anyone. The Coach has informed me that they will stay together as a team (as long as they all get the skills) till they start competing.. then they will still be a team.
For my 4 year old, kids do get added more frequently but there is never more than 6 on her team at a time. I know at the gym we go to they keep it small for pre-teams.


In regards to the frustration on other kids not being on par, just remember they were selected by the coaches (right?) for the pre-team so they do see something in them. Maybe they will get the skills quickly. I got annoyed a bit with that when my 6 year old was pulled into the pre-team, seeing she could do much more. But everyone is starting to be on par with eachother.

What I think is odd at your daughters gym is that they don't have different sets of "pre-Team"?
Like my youngest is in what they call "hot tots", and my oldest is in "Hot Shots", and when my youngest moves with her group, they will then be "hot shots" and my hot shot will then be a "Silver shot" etc.