Parents Advice needed please..

[Ex member]

Ok, here is the story, both of my dd's are doing competitive gymnastics and both attend a local performing arts school, my youngest does Modern and musical Theatre and my oldest just does Musical Theatre. It is nearly time for the yearly summer show that runs over a weekend with near enough a whole week of dress rehearsals and a tech/dress run the day before the shows. In the run up to the dress run week they have the odd extra rehearsal.

Next Thursday both of my dd's are supposed to being doing their summer training :

Youngest - 10:30am - 3:00pm
Oldest - 2:30pm - 4:30pm

On top of that my youngest dd is supposed to attend an extra rehearsal on the same day as above - 1:45pm to 2:45pm.

As you can see I have a bit of a clash with two dd's needing to be in different places within minutes of each other. Both of my dd's want to be at gym.

Would you be inclined to skip the modern rehearsal and let both dd's go to gym or try and get the youngest to dancing rehearsals? If you miss rehearsal for any reason other than a booked holiday then you get a strike, 3 strikes and you are out of the show. If my dd missed rehearsal then this would be the only time. At the moment dd has been attending all rehearsals as necessary but there a people missing every time through one reason or another.

I am inclined to let dd skip rehearsal and stay at gym but only because oldest dd needs to be there and I cannot be in two places at once. Dd will have modern rehearsal again on Saturday.

What would you do?

 

[Aussie_coach]

This is a good learning situation for your DD's, sometimes making choices in life is hard and it can be very hard to commit to more than one major activity.

I hate to say it but despite their love for gymnastics, really dance is the fair choice. In dance they are committed to a group. If they are absent they let the whole group down and make it very difficult for the teacher to even run the dance. The spacing and timing will be out with a child missing. Often one of the reasons why so many extra rehearsals are needed is because its so hard to do these routines with kids missing,

If they miss gymnastics the person who will be affected is themselves.m gymnastics is an individual sport. They will suffer from being away but not their team mates or their coach.

 

[Pea'sMom]

Honestly, I would ask DD what she thinks she should do. Outline the options and consequences and see which she's OK with. We've had conflicts before and I usually leave it to Pea. I was amazed last year when she missed a good friends party for practice because it was a week before states. She told me if it was after she would have missed.

 

[Ex member]

This is a good learning situation for your DD's, sometimes making choices in life is hard and it can be very hard to commit to more than one major activity.

I hate to say it but despite their love for gymnastics, really dance is the fair choice. In dance they are committed to a group. If they are absent they let the whole group down and make it very difficult for the teacher to even run the dance. The spacing and timing will be out with a child missing. Often one of the reasons why so many extra rehearsals are needed is because its so hard to do these routines with kids missing,

If they miss gymnastics the person who will be affected is themselves.m gymnastics is an individual sport. They will suffer from being away but not their team mates or their coach.

Thank you, you sound like their dance teacher lol, that is how she explained it and I understand all that, but like I said there are always kids missing and not all of them are on holiday...

I am quite happy for youngest dd to be at her dancing rehearsal and have already cleared it with her coach to pick her up early so she can go, I am just trying to work out the logistics of it as my oldest is not needed for rehearsal as she doesn't do modern and it is to fair to ask her to miss her gymnastics session as she will be missing some the following weeks when she is needed in rehearsal.

I will find a way, even if it means that I will be a little late picking dd up from dancing after dropping her sister off at the gym.

I have already told both dd's that they need to choose between dancing and gym as it is not fair on them, the coaches and the dance teachers when things clash. The girls have picked gymnastics.

 

[Ex member]

Another thing I didn't mention is that I don't drive so it will be a near enough a one hour round trip to dancing and back to the gym. I really cannot make oldest dd miss her training as she is in a disability group and they are now working towards competitions. The only other option is to ask one of the other dance moms to drop youngest dd off, but youngest dd will not be comfortable going with someone she barely news as she is shy and withdrawn around people she doesn't know.

I really don't want to let the dance teacher down but also don't want to let oldest dd down when others are missing rehearsal due to holidays. Sometimes I wish there were two of me. Personally I can see no difference to youngest dd missing rehearsals due to an illness and missing it due to logistical reasons as neither is her fault.

Sorry for burdening you all with this, sometimes things become clearer when they are written down, this time no matter what I chose someone is going to be let down, I don't think there are going to be any winners this time

 

[COz]

If at all physically possible within bounds of safe driving. Turning up late to gym sounds like the preferable option.
However, there are two kids and there will be times when one has to miss something as there is priority for some event for the other one. That will happen and they can be disappointed, but should be understanding about their sibling's commitments. If they are not sympathetic about that (I'm sure that's not the case with your girls) then they should learn to be
The problem with choosing gymnastics over dance is that they are attending a performing arts school. If they prioritise gymnastics enough, then that is going to impact their schooling and perhaps they might need to rethink school choices. I think everyone is hoping they can keep doing both.
Missing dress rehearsals prior to a performance have more of an effect than missing a normal rehearsal and affects both the other children as well as their teacher and a school's opinion of them.
Are they hoping to have careers in theatre? Are they thinking that later they may prioritise dance over gym when they are older?

We're only telling you things that I'm sure you already have thought of anyway and we only have the information as it reads on paper. You'll make the best decision, with your girls, that works best for your family and others involved.

Our policy at the moment is that we miss the one that is most easily caught up on. This might mean missing the preferred activity, as more will be learnt in the other and the preferred one is easier. But this only applies if there is not something special coming up or other people affected, then that gets priority. But my second child is still young enough that I don't have to deal with those extra clashes. Not looking forward to that.

Good luck!

 

[Ex member]

The performing arts school is not like everyday school, it is just a fancy name for a place that teaches dance. Neither if my dd's want a career in performing arts. I will try my hardest to get dd to dance rehearsals even if it means being a little late to pick her up from rehearsals. Dd finishes rehearsals at 2:45pm and I can go straight back from dropping oldest dd off at the gym and then head back to the gym after 2:45 with plenty of time to spare as oldest dd doesn't finish until 4:30pm.

Thanks for your sound advice though

 

[marie83]

As this would more than likely be a one off, could you drop older dd off at gym when you pick younger dd up? We sometimes have parents ask us to watch their children for them in similar situations. We don't mind for a one off - parents know we aren't baby sitters and don't like asking, but once in a while is ok!

 

[raenndrops]

Thank you, you sound like their dance teacher lol, that is how she explained it and I understand all that, but like I said there are always kids missing and not all of them are on holiday...

I am quite happy for youngest dd to be at her dancing rehearsal and have already cleared it with her coach to pick her up early so she can go, I am just trying to work out the logistics of it as my oldest is not needed for rehearsal as she doesn't do modern and it is to fair to ask her to miss her gymnastics session as she will be missing some the following weeks when she is needed in rehearsal.

I will find a way, even if it means that I will be a little late picking dd up from dancing after dropping her sister off at the gym.

I have already told both dd's that they need to choose between dancing and gym as it is not fair on them, the coaches and the dance teachers when things clash. The girls have picked gymnastics.

My suggestion would be to drop your older DD off when you pick the younger one up. She can patiently wait until her class begins. Then she doesn't miss gym and younger DD doesn't miss dance rehearsal.

 

[Ex member]

Dd told me last night that doesn't want to go dancing anymore she will still do the show as she has to honour her commitments, thanks for the suggestions on how to juggle things, I am tempted to ask older dd's coach if she can stay at the gym while her sister goes to rehearsals. If it is raining then I am not taking younger dd to rehearsals as I doubt the dance teacher will be too impressed if dd got sick and missed more rehearsals ( as we have to walk to and from the dance studio), the really important ones are next week as they do full day rehearsals where they run act 1 through on the first day (the run though it twice) and act 2 on the second day and the on the third day run acts 1 and 2 together before having a day of then ending to the theatre on the fifth day to to a tech run.

One part of me just says s%d it and not take dd to rehearsals as it is only for 1 hour and there will be people missing it and another part of me doesn't want to put any extra stress on the dance teacher. One thing that is bothering me about this is that the show is around the same weekend every year and people to still go on holiday close to show time and one girl is away and won't be back until the final tech run missing out on loads of rehearsals, this girl is only a a little bit older then dd and in loads of numbers including the one that dd has rehearsals for tomorrow. It seems one rule for 1 and 1 rule for a other.

I feel pulled in two directions and no mater which one I choose I cannot win, sometimes it sucks being grown up lol.

 

[COz]

If it's any consolation, imagine how stressed that girl would be missing rehearsals.

 

[Ex member]

Youngest Dd went to dance rehearsals, she wasn't happy about leaving the gym but what can you do lol. My oldest stayed with one of her team mates mums until it was time for her session - her team mate was a boy and his session was due to end when dd's started, dd's coach did say that she could sit in the gym but that wasn't necessary in the end.