Parents Advice Please

[Momuber]

I need lots of advice. My daughter started rec when she was 5, after a month, was pulled to team. She couldn’t even do a kick over or round off. Thus she started competing level 2. She struggled two seasons but improved from 26AA to 34.5AA. Then things at our gym got a little hectic. Coaches kept leaving, they brought in a coach that was supposed to be awesome for level 3. Which my girl was training for. It ended up being a disaster. She only worked with the top 2 girls on our team, everyone else was shoved aside. She was still struggling with her skills and didn’t really get any coaching. Meanwhile, her old coach got moved to Xcel. At this point, we tried two other gyms. These were bigger gyms and she was invited to be on both teams. She broke down and said she just wants to be with her coach. So we ended up staying and we switched to Xcel to follow her coach. She had a good season but never really learned any new skills due to all the changes. The level 3 coach got fired and our daughters coach ended up leaving in May. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay at her gym. I was ready to leave way before her coach left. Most of her team left her gym or quit altogether. One of her teammates went to a big highly competitive gym. This teammate is very talented and they put her straight to level 4 team. My daughter, who is more of middle of the pack gymnast, begged me to get her an evaluation. They suggested she do level 3 rec classes and be reevaluated after this season. They have a TAAF team that competes in January and they didn’t even offer her that. Shes happy because she gets to see her friend, but it’s a long commute. I called other gyms closer to us and have her some evaluations set up. I guess my issue is, do we wait and see if she’s offered a spot in November or move if one of the other ones offers a spot. I feel like this gym is very selective about who they take and I don’t think she will be one of them. I just want her back on a team and that’s what she wants. But she is hopeful her gym with her teammate will take her. I don’t want to force her someplace she’s not comfortable, but at the same time I feel like we are losing time for her to get to compete. Any thoughts? Or am I trying to rush things? She has come so far in two years and I feel like she is too talented to stay in rec at this gym.

 

[rlm's mom]

Depends on her goals. If she has goals of upper optionals I would wait for the more competitive gym to take her. If she’s happy to do excel or compulsaries max, find her a closer gym

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I guess my issue is, do we wait and see if she’s offered a spot in November or move if one of the other ones offers a spot. I feel like this gym is very selective about who they take and I don’t think she will be one of them. I just want her back on a team and that’s what she wants. But she is hopeful her gym with her teammate will take her. I don’t want to force her someplace she’s not comfortable, but at the same time I feel like we are losing time for her to get to compete. Any thoughts? Or am I trying to rush things? She has come so far in two years and I feel like she is too talented to stay in rec at this gym.

I would speak with the gym and ask for their honest opinion. If they are a big, competitive and successful gym, then they have the ability to be selective. While your daughter is a good gymnast - good may not good enough when team spots are limited and the gym is able to pick and choose those that appear to be the most talented and likely to progress from their experience.

There is no harm in asking them what the chances are for your child to make team at the gym. Hopefully they are honest give you a likely timeframe and don't string you along.

 

[TheXcelMom]

Where did her coach go? I bet she'd follow them!

This gym sounds like--as a business--it's having some problems. We had three gyms in our area close because of bad business practices and coach relationships. One closed the Xcel program between States and regionals, but supported the girls through regionals. Another completely shut down right before states, abandoning them entirely. The third waited until the end of the season.
I guess my point is, please keep an eye on this gym. This level of chaos does not always end well. You don't want your daughter committed to a team, only to have them say "whoops, not sorry."

 

[sw2017]

I need lots of advice. My daughter started rec when she was 5, after a month, was pulled to team. She couldn’t even do a kick over or round off. Thus she started competing level 2. She struggled two seasons but improved from 26AA to 34.5AA. Then things at our gym got a little hectic. Coaches kept leaving, they brought in a coach that was supposed to be awesome for level 3. Which my girl was training for. It ended up being a disaster. She only worked with the top 2 girls on our team, everyone else was shoved aside. She was still struggling with her skills and didn’t really get any coaching. Meanwhile, her old coach got moved to Xcel. At this point, we tried two other gyms. These were bigger gyms and she was invited to be on both teams. She broke down and said she just wants to be with her coach. So we ended up staying and we switched to Xcel to follow her coach. She had a good season but never really learned any new skills due to all the changes. The level 3 coach got fired and our daughters coach ended up leaving in May. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay at her gym. I was ready to leave way before her coach left. Most of her team left her gym or quit altogether. One of her teammates went to a big highly competitive gym. This teammate is very talented and they put her straight to level 4 team. My daughter, who is more of middle of the pack gymnast, begged me to get her an evaluation. They suggested she do level 3 rec classes and be reevaluated after this season. They have a TAAF team that competes in January and they didn’t even offer her that. Shes happy because she gets to see her friend, but it’s a long commute. I called other gyms closer to us and have her some evaluations set up. I guess my issue is, do we wait and see if she’s offered a spot in November or move if one of the other ones offers a spot. I feel like this gym is very selective about who they take and I don’t think she will be one of them. I just want her back on a team and that’s what she wants. But she is hopeful her gym with her teammate will take her. I don’t want to force her someplace she’s not comfortable, but at the same time I feel like we are losing time for her to get to compete. Any thoughts? Or am I trying to rush things? She has come so far in two years and I feel like she is too talented to stay in rec at this gym.

Gosh I’m sorry you and your daughter are going through this! All of the changes sound very chaotic, and it’s unfortunate that her coach left. I think it’s hard to make a decision when she hasn’t had her evaluations at the other gyms yet. If she does get offered a spot on team at a different gym, I would ask her what she wants to do. I also agree with pineapple_lump about asking her current gym what the chances are that she’ll make team will be. Maybe once you get an answer, you can move forward with a decision.

 

[mmspar]

I feel for you, you are going through so many changes. I do agree that the longer you are not on a team, the longer she runs the risk of falling behind in her skills or conditioning. I would get her evaluated at the other gyms closer to your house just to see what they say. You never know, your daughter may end up liking one of those coaches at tryouts or one of those coaches may take a liking to her. Then if she can at least keep working on her skills at one of these closer gyms then perhaps she will be more prepared to try out at the competitive gym again later down the road. Generally I find that being in a less competitive team is still better than being in a rec program as most rec programs aren’t going to give you the conditioning or the attention that she will need.

 

[gymjunkie]

I need lots of advice. My daughter started rec when she was 5, after a month, was pulled to team. She couldn’t even do a kick over or round off. Thus she started competing level 2. She struggled two seasons but improved from 26AA to 34.5AA. Then things at our gym got a little hectic. Coaches kept leaving, they brought in a coach that was supposed to be awesome for level 3. Which my girl was training for. It ended up being a disaster. She only worked with the top 2 girls on our team, everyone else was shoved aside. She was still struggling with her skills and didn’t really get any coaching. Meanwhile, her old coach got moved to Xcel. At this point, we tried two other gyms. These were bigger gyms and she was invited to be on both teams. She broke down and said she just wants to be with her coach. So we ended up staying and we switched to Xcel to follow her coach. She had a good season but never really learned any new skills due to all the changes. The level 3 coach got fired and our daughters coach ended up leaving in May. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay at her gym. I was ready to leave way before her coach left. Most of her team left her gym or quit altogether. One of her teammates went to a big highly competitive gym. This teammate is very talented and they put her straight to level 4 team. My daughter, who is more of middle of the pack gymnast, begged me to get her an evaluation. They suggested she do level 3 rec classes and be reevaluated after this season. They have a TAAF team that competes in January and they didn’t even offer her that. Shes happy because she gets to see her friend, but it’s a long commute. I called other gyms closer to us and have her some evaluations set up. I guess my issue is, do we wait and see if she’s offered a spot in November or move if one of the other ones offers a spot. I feel like this gym is very selective about who they take and I don’t think she will be one of them. I just want her back on a team and that’s what she wants. But she is hopeful her gym with her teammate will take her. I don’t want to force her someplace she’s not comfortable, but at the same time I feel like we are losing time for her to get to compete. Any thoughts? Or am I trying to rush things? She has come so far in two years and I feel like she is too talented to stay in rec at this gym.

 

[gymjunkie]

Not sure why the previous post did not include my reply!

I started coaching again when my daughter was in a similar situation. She took her first gymnastics class at age 7 at a very good gym. They would not consider her for a team slot because of her age. They had a rec plan for her that might eventually get her to some kind of team position (probably xcel), but since she was already starting "late," I did not like their plan (this is the similar part: spending more time in rec before HOPEFULLY moving to team). After about 6 months of her doing rec 3X/week (because I signed her up for 3 classes/week), I took a position at another gym and placed her on the team (this gym was so small, the pre-team and compulsory team worked out together). Our small team did not do level 2 or 3 and started at 4. My daughter was ready to compete as a very solid 4 when she was 9 and that same year she did 4, 5 and 6, never scoring below a 36 at any of those levels. Ironically she always placed higher on the podium than the girls from the gym who would not promote her. After this season, some of the girls from her age group left that gym and came to train with me and my daughter, but my daughter was now a L7 when they were needing to compete L6 because of bars (so much for my daughter being "too old" for their program). She was a successful L10 by 14 and I highly doubt that would've happened had we stayed at the first gym. That being said, I made decisions for my daughter based on her drive and work ethic. She was a kid who never slacked on conditioning, even the conditioning she struggled with. She was a perfectionist who mostly needed to be told to relax a little at practice. She had a passion for gymnastics from the moment she set foot in the gym. If my daughter had been more about the social aspects of gymnastics or if she had also wanted to do other sports, I would've kept her at the first gym and just let it be a social outlet for her.

 

[MagicCrystal]

I think you may find at the all the gyms that they are already into the competitive season and may not be able to accept new members at this point. I would ask when team try outs are at the competitive gym and see if she could join preteam at least there or the other local gyms so she can get better training. As for the friend, she is already in a different group and chances are schedules will change and they won't see each other. She will make new friends in her group.

 

[Momuber]

Depends on her goals. If she has goals of upper optionals I would wait for the more competitive gym to take her. If she’s happy to do excel or compulsaries max, find her a closer gym

I’m happy to report that she had an evaluation at a closer gym and was asked to join their Xcel team. We have another one today so we will see. It’s even closer to home, so fingers crossed she likes it and they like her. At this point, she’s happy doing Xcel and just wants to compete.

 

[Momuber]

Thank you everyone who gave me your advice!! I appreciate it very much!! She was invited to Xcel at the gym yesterday and she has another eval today. So her future in gymnastics seems very optimistic.

 

[TheXcelMom]

I’m happy to report that she had an evaluation at a closer gym and was asked to join their Xcel team. We have another one today so we will see. It’s even closer to home, so fingers crossed she likes it and they like her. At this point, she’s happy doing Xcel and just wants to compete.

That's great! As you can see from my name, I am a big fan of the Xcel program! My daughter has made new friends, developed grit, and learned the joys and sorrows of competition while still pursuing other interests. Good luck to you!

 

[Momuber]

That's great! As you can see from my name, I am a big fan of the Xcel program! My daughter has made new friends, developed grit, and learned the joys and sorrows of competition while still pursuing other interests. Good luck to you!

Thank you so much!!

 

[Momuber]

Thank you so much!!

She loves Xcel because she can pick her own skills and music. She says USAG is boring. She doesn’t mind the high number of hours, she says she only wants to do gymnastics so Xcel allows her to be unique. We love it!!

 

[TheXcelMom]

She loves Xcel because she can pick her own skills and music. She says USAG is boring. She doesn’t mind the high number of hours, she says she only wants to do gymnastics so Xcel allows her to be unique. We love it!!

Compulsories take a certain mindset, for sure. Without Xcel, mine would have moved on to something else already LOL.