- Aug 5, 2013
- 944
- 1,347
Had a heart to heart with DD new (4 months) coaches and DD yesterday. Turns out that after the optional program went from 10 girls to 35 this last 2 weeks with another gym closing, things are necessarily getting stricter and girls getting less individual time and wiggle room with assignments and move up plans. I had seen this coming for a few weeks as DD, who had been starting to feel comfortable at new gym after the first few months fell apart with the influx of new kids, most of whom came from her old gym, where she had an emotionally difficult year with past coach. The previously promised (literally) move to L8 is now in serious question.
DD, who placed in top 5 at state in both several individual events and all around as a Level 7 2 years in a row, and had been slated as a L8 since state, both at old gym and this newer one, has been gaining and then losing her L8 skills all summer, and several glaring holes in her skills have come to light with better coaching. However, its her fears and lack of confidence that are keeping her from moving up at this point.
She does most L8 skills in privates, although vault has had to be set back to FHS as old coach never taught her to vault on a setting higher than a 1....or let her know that would have to change in order to take her flipping vaults (both tsuk and chenko) off the trainer....new gym has high move up standards, but is also flexible - her friends with much lower scores as L7s and poor form are moving up because they are fearless and willing to chuck things left and right, thriving in the new environment - DD has been a mess for the last few weeks - crying over moving her giants to real bar, afraid of doing the same series on high beam that she competed successfully for 2 years with mid 9s and tons of medals, afraid to take her full out of the pit, etc....but in one on one sessions she is doing her back tuck on beam, pirouette with light spot, bails with spot, etc. Old gym had very basic L8 requirements, and she had those skills last year even (with exception of giants) but "stayed L7 to build confidence and up train". At old gym there simply was no uptraining that occurred, and although she felt great about placing high in 3 events and all around at state, that confidence has fizzled as soon as she realized that there was so much she needed to learn to make it in a more competitive gym.
Here's my real question. DD just turned 12. She is a tiny, strong, physically more mature than most gymnasts and intellectually gifted girl (which feeds into her intense fears, perfectionism and overthinking of everything). She grew a quarter of her body height in the last 18 months. She told me that she doesn't really want to quit but that she feels like she's exhausted from being so frustrated with being frightened and not being able to make herself do things, disappointing her coaches and friends, etc. She doesn't want to compete at all but did say that the pressure to have skills by certain dates (something this gym does but old gym never did - in fact, she never had her routines/skills down at this point before - but pulled it off with grace in meets by January....), is overwhelming to her. She can't figure out how to break things down herself, so when she fell on a pirouette when doing it on her own, she has stopped doing them at all for a month - even though when we talked her coach went through a way to do one step at a time and get back slowly to full pirouette - DD cannot do this without someone guiding her through it - and there are suddenly 10 L8s and 8-10 L7s, 18 L6s, - even with a coach per event, they can't guide her and just see her miserable.
She only developed fear issues a year ago - before that she fell and jumped back up as easy as the average young, want to be in the gym 24 hours gymnast. In the past she's been a hard worker at gym, and always a good team mate. Her times of not working hard this summer all come down to her fear and confidence issues - and being "lost" with the crowds, not understanding the system, etc. She loves her coaches, and team. She doesn't want to "sit around and do nothing" with the 20 hours a week she's been spending at gym. Her friends are all there - and her brothers compete and train 16 hours a week.
On the other hand, I can't say I think its at all fair to others for her to compete as a L7. Coach has a history of keeping kids back a third year in these circumstances (inadequate training at other gyms and puberty/mental issues) and making it work - 3 of the present L9s did 3 years of L7, and 2 of the L8s....This gym does a lot of up training and fundamental work with all the girls, and although she has hardly progressed, she has upped her vault setting to 2, gotten those giants on pit (just didn't do them at old gym as she had 10 start values without), learned a front pike and almost a front half, trained a tsuk (which old coach was going to have her skip due to her size and good form - felt yurchenko only was the way to go), etc. Other holes are being addressed and need to be. The kids who stayed back a third year in past are good gymnasts with great form now - and the oldest kid at the gym is only 15 - so we aren't talking about no chance to make L10....but I do know that one who did a third year L7 last year because she wouldn't giant had a miserable comp season, and although she learned a lot up training in practices, she scored worse than the year before in meets...partly due to adding skills (which I'm cool with) but more due to not wanting to be there in the first place. The coach talked about DD doing essentially L8 routines as a L7 (full, FP-FLO, series with flight - hopefully BHS_BHS, B dismount, pirouette on bars, etc...)but not having the pressure of being a "L8". Sounds great in theory and I have living proof in the gym that it worked for some girls....
DD doesn't know what she wants. All the girls she competed against and consistently beat last year are moving up except 2 who were new L7 last year and don't have 10 start values on bars. I have 2 other kids to pay for in gym and other things - I want to keep her in gym if she can get the love back - she's a beautiful, talented girl and I hate to see puberty, fears, and my not realizing how inadequate her coaching was ruin something she loved so much for her. But I too am tired/sick of her being miserable. Tired of watching her cry/struggle, only do one series on beam a practice (and I don't watch more than 2 hours of 20 a week....).
Anyone know of kids who did a third year and ended up the better for it? Or just trained for a year and cheered the team on? I'm not expecting her to suddenly get back her elite dreams - they were never realistic anyway - but if she's never going to go further I'd rather she start finding something else that feeds her in a good way. I am not super patient by nature and it was hard enough watching last year at meets when she did the same exact skills for slightly higher scores than the year before...I really can't do it again - and could save 2000 dollars by her not competing. That's a big chunk of change....she wonders if she should compete 7 to help her team - but again, that's a big chunk of change....coach said she understands that its a financial hardship for us to go this route - but honestly thinks its best and is likely correct - if DD can up train in such a huge group, needing to be aggressive about getting in her turns, etc. They said she'd have to do her L7 stuff first then could work on L8 - I just don't think she'll get to it that way when there are 10-12 kids in her group...
I wish this were a sport that a kid could take 6 months to a year off and then come back to....that's probably what she needs.
DD, who placed in top 5 at state in both several individual events and all around as a Level 7 2 years in a row, and had been slated as a L8 since state, both at old gym and this newer one, has been gaining and then losing her L8 skills all summer, and several glaring holes in her skills have come to light with better coaching. However, its her fears and lack of confidence that are keeping her from moving up at this point.
She does most L8 skills in privates, although vault has had to be set back to FHS as old coach never taught her to vault on a setting higher than a 1....or let her know that would have to change in order to take her flipping vaults (both tsuk and chenko) off the trainer....new gym has high move up standards, but is also flexible - her friends with much lower scores as L7s and poor form are moving up because they are fearless and willing to chuck things left and right, thriving in the new environment - DD has been a mess for the last few weeks - crying over moving her giants to real bar, afraid of doing the same series on high beam that she competed successfully for 2 years with mid 9s and tons of medals, afraid to take her full out of the pit, etc....but in one on one sessions she is doing her back tuck on beam, pirouette with light spot, bails with spot, etc. Old gym had very basic L8 requirements, and she had those skills last year even (with exception of giants) but "stayed L7 to build confidence and up train". At old gym there simply was no uptraining that occurred, and although she felt great about placing high in 3 events and all around at state, that confidence has fizzled as soon as she realized that there was so much she needed to learn to make it in a more competitive gym.
Here's my real question. DD just turned 12. She is a tiny, strong, physically more mature than most gymnasts and intellectually gifted girl (which feeds into her intense fears, perfectionism and overthinking of everything). She grew a quarter of her body height in the last 18 months. She told me that she doesn't really want to quit but that she feels like she's exhausted from being so frustrated with being frightened and not being able to make herself do things, disappointing her coaches and friends, etc. She doesn't want to compete at all but did say that the pressure to have skills by certain dates (something this gym does but old gym never did - in fact, she never had her routines/skills down at this point before - but pulled it off with grace in meets by January....), is overwhelming to her. She can't figure out how to break things down herself, so when she fell on a pirouette when doing it on her own, she has stopped doing them at all for a month - even though when we talked her coach went through a way to do one step at a time and get back slowly to full pirouette - DD cannot do this without someone guiding her through it - and there are suddenly 10 L8s and 8-10 L7s, 18 L6s, - even with a coach per event, they can't guide her and just see her miserable.
She only developed fear issues a year ago - before that she fell and jumped back up as easy as the average young, want to be in the gym 24 hours gymnast. In the past she's been a hard worker at gym, and always a good team mate. Her times of not working hard this summer all come down to her fear and confidence issues - and being "lost" with the crowds, not understanding the system, etc. She loves her coaches, and team. She doesn't want to "sit around and do nothing" with the 20 hours a week she's been spending at gym. Her friends are all there - and her brothers compete and train 16 hours a week.
On the other hand, I can't say I think its at all fair to others for her to compete as a L7. Coach has a history of keeping kids back a third year in these circumstances (inadequate training at other gyms and puberty/mental issues) and making it work - 3 of the present L9s did 3 years of L7, and 2 of the L8s....This gym does a lot of up training and fundamental work with all the girls, and although she has hardly progressed, she has upped her vault setting to 2, gotten those giants on pit (just didn't do them at old gym as she had 10 start values without), learned a front pike and almost a front half, trained a tsuk (which old coach was going to have her skip due to her size and good form - felt yurchenko only was the way to go), etc. Other holes are being addressed and need to be. The kids who stayed back a third year in past are good gymnasts with great form now - and the oldest kid at the gym is only 15 - so we aren't talking about no chance to make L10....but I do know that one who did a third year L7 last year because she wouldn't giant had a miserable comp season, and although she learned a lot up training in practices, she scored worse than the year before in meets...partly due to adding skills (which I'm cool with) but more due to not wanting to be there in the first place. The coach talked about DD doing essentially L8 routines as a L7 (full, FP-FLO, series with flight - hopefully BHS_BHS, B dismount, pirouette on bars, etc...)but not having the pressure of being a "L8". Sounds great in theory and I have living proof in the gym that it worked for some girls....
DD doesn't know what she wants. All the girls she competed against and consistently beat last year are moving up except 2 who were new L7 last year and don't have 10 start values on bars. I have 2 other kids to pay for in gym and other things - I want to keep her in gym if she can get the love back - she's a beautiful, talented girl and I hate to see puberty, fears, and my not realizing how inadequate her coaching was ruin something she loved so much for her. But I too am tired/sick of her being miserable. Tired of watching her cry/struggle, only do one series on beam a practice (and I don't watch more than 2 hours of 20 a week....).
Anyone know of kids who did a third year and ended up the better for it? Or just trained for a year and cheered the team on? I'm not expecting her to suddenly get back her elite dreams - they were never realistic anyway - but if she's never going to go further I'd rather she start finding something else that feeds her in a good way. I am not super patient by nature and it was hard enough watching last year at meets when she did the same exact skills for slightly higher scores than the year before...I really can't do it again - and could save 2000 dollars by her not competing. That's a big chunk of change....she wonders if she should compete 7 to help her team - but again, that's a big chunk of change....coach said she understands that its a financial hardship for us to go this route - but honestly thinks its best and is likely correct - if DD can up train in such a huge group, needing to be aggressive about getting in her turns, etc. They said she'd have to do her L7 stuff first then could work on L8 - I just don't think she'll get to it that way when there are 10-12 kids in her group...
I wish this were a sport that a kid could take 6 months to a year off and then come back to....that's probably what she needs.
. Being homschooled also means that gym and music are her main social life - but I think by L7/8 that's true for many gymnasts even if they go to school. 
