Parents Blatant Favoritism

[Dahlialover]

Yes. It is normal and justifiable as people here have stated over and over.

This does not mean that no favoritism is occurring. It’s entirely possible that this coaching decision could be The result of favoritism rather than the best interests of the gymnasts. If you are coming to that conclusion, then this is probably not the first issue. Other things must have degraded your trust in this coach. In that case, you should listen to your gut. You see the big picture, we don’t.

 

[NutterButter]

Some of the things you described have also happened to my daughter. The high fiving and celebrating other gymnasts for example when they finally nail their routine. She finally nailed her beam routine at their last meet and was so pumped but he barely acknowledged it which really hurt her feelings after she has busted her butt all season on that stupid routine and finally nailed it. Also the favorites slacking off has always been an issue and at times my daughter who does her conditioning and is often one of the first to finish because she isn't slacking off, is often questioned on whether or not she actually did all of the conditioning. I have sat and watched her do all of it while her teammates sit in a circle and gossip and then she is questioned and accused of rushing through or not doing all of the reps. The favorites cut the line to get more turns, slack on things they don't want to do, etc and they are never called out on it. The lack of uptraining is just the latest concern.

Then you have to decide what you are going to do about it. Your options are to leave or bring your concerns to the coach and give him an opportunity to course correct. I mentioned earlier that my DD was not a favorite. What I didn't say is that I had many conversations over the years with her coaches on how they could better 'reach' my DD. Sometimes the coach would ask for feedback and other times I brought suggestions to them unsolicited. My daughter was a very sensitive and reserved kid and I could see why some coaches didn't know what to do with her. Most coaches have no training in child psych and working with the spectrum of personality types. It was my job to help both navigate this.

 

[Shinybanana]

That sounds really frustrating and I had a similiar experience at our gym. My child started xb at 5 years old this last summer with the same coach she had in preteam but the coach turned into a monster once team started. Suddenly all my childs quirks that she was loved for were negatives. She kept putting my XB kid with the XC kids who were 3/4 years old. When it would be time for floor (this coaches specialty) she would basically ignore my child. Sometimes she even talked down to my child. Once my child asked why she wasn't going with the other 5 year old to the "big girl XB area" and the coach leaned down over her face and was like "because SHE DOESN'T make me repeat myself, BC SHE listens the first time, BC SHE can be quiet the entire time". MID SEASON that coach left and I will forever be thankful. Our new coaches are amazing and they treat her with respect and kindness. They treat all the kids that way, even the kids that were placed on team by that old coach with no actual skills to do their copper routines. The end of this year is going to be painful for some parents for sure.