Parents Body Image Struggles

[supernicegymmom]

Hi Parents, my eldest daughter (XG) is only 13 years old and told me that one of her coaches said she is developing too fast and she needs to get puberty blockers or she would get fat and wouldn’t be able to do well. I was in shock because 1. That’s completely inappropriate to say to anyone, and 2. She is only 13 and has barely gone through puberty. I really don’t want her to develop an eating disorder or body image issues so I need your help!

 

[Coach Kate]

Report that coach to your head coach/gym manager/owner/whoever is in charge immediately. If they don't do anything, you need to leave. That is not a healthy environment.

 

[JessSyd]

I second the above comment. That’s so far from appropriate that it would make me worry about allowing my daughter to spend time in that environment. The word fat should never be uttered by an adult in a gym regardless of the circumstances, and no non-medical person should be talking to children about puberty blockers.

Definitely follow up, as the coach who said that needs some training so it doesn’t happen again. What are the USAG rules around coaches making that sort of comment? Do they make training resources available for gyms?

In Australia, you don’t get accredited to coach or judge until you’ve done the body image training which makes it clear that it is totally against GA rules for coaches, gym owners or judges to comment on weight, height, body shape, development, etc except for under highly specific circumstances (like sorting athletes into pairs/trios for acro gymnastics, and even that has a fairly limited range of things you can say).

 

[InMyGymMomEra]

Eating disorder therapist here. I’m so sorry that your daughter was subjected to such an awful comment. While some kids are amazingly resilient and will brush off comments like this, others will be profoundly affected. Unfortunately, this is exactly the type of comment that patients have relayed to me years later as the trigger to initiating their first eating disorder symptoms (not just from gymnastics coaches of course, but also from dance teachers, friends, or family members). Like Coach Kate, I’d suggest reaching out to the coach and head coach immediately to share that your daughter simply cannot stay at their gym if these comments continue. You can be gracious but firm. Your daughter will always remember that you stood up for her.

 

[Dahlialover]

You need to contact the owner or general manager and let them know that you have serious concerns about the coach saying inappropriate things to your daughter and that you are requesting a sit down meeting as soon as possible. Do not allow your daughter to attend practice until you have that meeting. Be prepared to leave the gym.