MAG Boys team.....dealing with a problem child!!!???

[munchkin3]

On DS team we have a child who is a behavior problem....even the parents will agree....The problem is that MY DS can't deal with him.

The coach does not like hearing any complaints about him because he just want's the boys to focus on work, not 'coach, he did this...' and unproductive tattling....

This boy is 9 and is the size of a 6 yr old...parents have some issues....He is the type of kid that will do things that are designed to go un-noticed by the coach....He will kick others while on Pommel....he will run in the way while someone is vaulting.....he will jiggle the stabilizer cables while somone is on......He will make annoying noises while someone is doing a routine...etc...

coach sometimes catches him sometimes not.....But the boy does not care...he likes to get kicked out because he gets a 'break'

So here is my predicament....I know my son MAY be overreacting to some of this.... I know from other boys that this boy is a problem but it seems that MY DS is having the hardest time shutting him out.....

He seems to be making a big deal about every little thing this kid does...Coach is now yelling at my DS for constantly complaining about the kid....

My DS is truly enraged about everything this kid does....How can I get my son to CHILL and focus on his work......He is like the fish that takes the bait every time!!!! Now DS is blaming him for everything including his performance!!!

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I am sorry this is happening - I will have to think about this one!

 

[Dallas Gym Mom]

Happened to us too

Only it was a little girl in her rec class. She was a constant distraction and finally shoved my daughter onto a trampoline when someone was bouncing on it. I spoke to the coach because it was a safety issue. The coach took care of it and there were no further problems. But the parents were in denial. If the problem continued I would have moved her to another class. The 'problem child' quit pretty quickly after that.

 

[BlairBob]

Hmm, if you have brought it up to the coach and has not been addressed, it's time to step it up a notch. Either the boy's program manager or the Competition Team manager or the office manager/owners.

My simple solution for boy's behavior has become burpees. Either they do them or they go sit out. If it happens continuously, it's time to go sit out for awhile by the lockers and if need be, I'll tell him to pack his up stuff, sit by the lockers and either wait till his parents come pick him up or I will call them via the portable phone.

Once my boss said my solution for any of the lil guys causing a ruckus was to make sure there was a kid in the group that would solve the problem. Worked about 5 years ago but probably get holy hell on me now. I had 2 10yo at each other's throats sometime a few years back and I finally told the one, he just needed to tell the other off and if the other tried to physically take him; it was time to dish out. Luckily, he had the upper edge though he wasn't as aggressive. Helps to be stronger...and learn some tricks from wrestling the coach.

As a coach, I would first try dealing with the problem child by a short lecture, yadda-yadda. My end solution would probably be sending him out of the group, doing lots of burpees, etc.

I had a problem child earlier this year and as much as I liked the kid...burpees helped somewhat. However, his inability to listen besides his episodes resulted in his mom pulling him out. I miss him, but it has been a lot easier in some regards (though fewer boys does it make it somewhat difficult).

 

[Mill09]

I don't have any good suggestions, just wanted to say I think every gym must have one of these kids. We had one for a long time, his family was just as bad. At the meets, no one wanted to sit with them, the mom wouldn't watch her other children, it was just a train wreck. He got sent home from practice many many times, and it never made an impact. Finally last year he quit.

I just told my son to try to focus on his own work and not pay attention to what others were doing or saying....he would come home and complain occasionally, but overall he was able to tune him out for the most part.

My personal opinion is that if a child is being disruptive on a regular basis, it's not fair to the other kids who are there to practice. I know it's not easy to kick boys out of a program, especially when most boys programs are so small, but the kid acts out because he can get away with it.

 

[BlairBob]

As much as I liked some of my problem kids, I still had to be hard on them. The other boys typically tune out to a point.

Nowadays, it seems boys won't do anything about as they are taught not to. Depends on family. Some aren't.

 

[kalgymcoach]

I actually have a problem DS. I ended up having to go out on the floor at practice so I could discipline him. I am his own personal "spotter" so to speak. My DS has Bi-polar and instead of taking him out of the class as he loves his gym, I offered to keep him focused, as it is not fair on the coach or other boys when he plays up. Maybe your problem child could have his own spotter to keep him focused. Most of these children have negative issues in their lives and having them quit a sport they may like, can do more harm than good. Looking outside the square may help them as much as the other children doing the right thing. Food for thought!

 

[munchkin3]

Actually I do agree......First thing to get straight, this 9 year old is not BAD.....No matter what....Yes he has some issues and I think Gymnastics is a very good force in this boys life....He can succeed here.....Other than here I suspect he has very few friends and in general his personality is not very 'likeable'....even his parents speak about him negatively..

With that said, I told my son he must learn to deal.....He will come across may problem people in his life and if he lets them get to him, he will have many problems ......etc, etc.

Bottom line, he is his team-mate...Problem Boy is slowly moving up the totem pole of performance....as he improves he will win the respect of his peers and maybe he won't have to be such a pain....

So far my son is dealing OK this week....Problem Boy has fixated on another boy...I guess we will just enjoy the break LOL!

Thanks

 

[emorymom]

As a parent I would not be comfortable with this being modeled or endured in my son's practice group. (He does tumbling not MAG but may switch to MAG later.) I do know plenty of boys act like this and in this day and age people seem reluctant to do anything about bad behavior if it's not their child -- or even if it is. However I would definitely have a sit down and stand up for appropriate values in the practice group. If the boy has a problem he either needs a dedicated "spotter" as the PP discussed or a working discipline strategy. Of course it's best if boys with challenges can grow through sport, and this should be seen as an important aspect of this.

I also would have a real problem with any child being disciplined for "tattling" when the problem is that the coach is not dedicating sufficient resources to stop the behavior! I don't mean that it's OK for a child to complain about something that's not bothering the target, but they have every right to look to authority if they're being interfered with.