Parents Can Coaches Accept Vacation Gifts from Parents?

[gb070914]

Is it ok for a head coach or any coach to accept vacations from parents? I ask because the head coach at our old gym (we just left due to other red flags) uses gymnasts vacation homes every year. I don't personally feel like it's ethical but wondering if there are any rules against it? The worst part is he doesn't even hide it from the other girls.

We left because the gym started making the teams and training groups so large that the girls stand around a lot during practice waiting on turns. The coaches have 10-15 min meetings with each other and other gym staff during practice, which also leaves the girls standing around. Girls, who do not have the gym required skills (a lot due to fear), are moved up to the next level even though the coaches tell all of the gymnasts they have to have certain skills by a specific date. Last year there were a lot of girls who had to scratch multiple events in one level because only a few of them had all the skills for all 4 events. The coaches ended up pushing the girls to compete all 4 events at the last competition before state so they could compete at state. All of those girls were moved up to the next level this year, and once again are struggling with the skills. My daughter's smallest training group was 10. They are so big the coaches aren't able to focus on the details and help the gymnasts make corrections. Last year my daughter was a level 5 and was told by the optional beam coach that her BHS was unacceptable for optionals because her legs were too bent (completely agree that she needed to correct it; it had been ok but then she went through a wonky phase and couldn't figure out what to do to fix it; no help from coaches; we researched drills and did them at home), but this year one of the girls, whose older sister is a favorite, has the same bent legs in her BHS and the beam coach tells her how great her BHS is. There are only 2 full time coaches. The others are part time and are consistently not there, and the girls get divided into only two groups of 15+.

 

[Coach Kate]

It sounds like there are a lot of other problems at that gym, but I don't necessarily think using someone's vacation home is unethical honestly. If I planned a trip to Wyoming and one of the families I knew really well and had a relationship with said "oh, we have a house there. Are you looking for somewhere to stay?", I don't know that there's anything wrong with that. It didn't happen to me, but I know it worked out for some other coaches.

Our gym had a really strong sense of community and there were definitely relationships that extended beyond the gym. I coached through chemotherapy and there was a mom who showed up for their first day of parent and tot class as I was explaining I had someone on call as a sub because I didn't know how I'd be feeling and even though she barely knew me, she immediately asked if I needed any rides to appointments or someone to check in on me. That's just how it was there. I also babysat for families I met there and therefore developed some closer relationships with those people. And then there were people I knew from church already who then came and took classes with me or at the gym because I was there.

Now if there is unfair favor being shown because of these things like gifts or relationships, that's another concern. But coaches are human. We make friends.

 

[gb070914]

It sounds like there are a lot of other problems at that gym, but I don't necessarily think using someone's vacation home is unethical honestly. If I planned a trip to Wyoming and one of the families I knew really well and had a relationship with said "oh, we have a house there. Are you looking for somewhere to stay?", I don't know that there's anything wrong with that. It didn't happen to me, but I know it worked out for some other coaches.

Our gym had a really strong sense of community and there were definitely relationships that extended beyond the gym. I coached through chemotherapy and there was a mom who showed up for their first day of parent and tot class as I was explaining I had someone on call as a sub because I didn't know how I'd be feeling and even though she barely knew me, she immediately asked if I needed any rides to appointments or someone to check in on me. That's just how it was there. I also babysat for families I met there and therefore developed some closer relationships with those people. And then there were people I knew from church already who then came and took classes with me or at the gym because I was there.

Now if there is unfair favor being shown because of these things like gifts or relationships, that's another concern. But coaches are human. We make friends.

Unfortunately, there is favoritism due to it. As I do believe a gym should be a tight knit community, I do not think it is right for kids to be favored because their parents provide vacations for the coaches. I was just wondering because it seems unfair to the kids whose parents do not have vacation homes to lend. I am friends with several of my daughter's past coaches, but I have not offered our vacation home to them for personal use because I thought it would be unfair to others. Either way I was just wondering if there are any regulations against it, as it seems unfair to the other girls when there is favoritism involved. Thanks for your help!