Anon Considering a gym switch - when is honesty (with new gym) too much honesty?

[Anonymous (e699)]

Hi! First time posting so hopefully I’m in the right spot…. We are considering moving to a different gym in the area as we have only ever experienced one gym. As the potential new gym requires explanation of why we are looking to switch gyms before offering a trial, I am wavering as to how much to tell them. I want to be completely honest and share everything. But I’m also concerned how it will come across. I don’t want to sound like we just pick up and leave when we disagree with a gym. How much do you share without oversharing?

 

[estamey21]

Less is more, in my opinion.

Answer the question as you would in a job interview: make neutral statements about your current gym, and make positive statements about the trial gym. For example: "The program was not a good fit for our daughter and based on what we've learned about your gym, we think it would be a better fit."

In conversations with the trial gym, it is very important to be brutally honest about your daughter's gymnastics goals and what you are looking for in terms of training. But the emphasis should be on the trial gym (what it can offer) and not on your current gym (what it didn't offer). There is little to be gained from talking negatively about your current gym, even if you have genuine grievances.

 

[Anonymous (7cb3)]

Keep in mind that most gym owners in an area know each other (especially in smaller towns/cities), so assume whatever you tell one will get told back to the other. Usually safest at first to just keep it simple (better fit, location convenient, heard positive things about the gym, etc).

 

[Anonymous (03ad)]

And do NOT tell your current gym you are looking until you are out the door…or they will show you the door. Send a polite email AFTER you have left thanking them “thank you for your time with Susie, but we will no longer be attending X gym” and be done. Don’t tell your current gym where you are going (they’ll find out on their own) even if they ask (“we don’t know what we’re doing “). Some gyms are ok with folks leaving (and usually only when they are relocating) but most are not and will be downright nasty to you and your kid.

 

[Anonymous (fc09)]

We live in a large metro area with many choices (especially outside of the major urban area) and went through a gym change last year. We talked to and did evaluations at 2 other gyms, and at both, the team directors knew our current head coach. As far as we know, phone calls weren't exchanged or anything like that but the last thing we were going to do was get caught up in some cross gym drama. We were diplomatic and somewhat vague when asked, but one gym did not even ask us why we were changing. They knew they were a stronger gym than the gym we were wanting to leave and that was that. We were truly looking for a different coaching style and I asked many questions about that when evaluating where to go. I will say - we now have an assistant coach at our new gym that came from our old gym so just be kind in the words you choose. Good luck!

 

[Anonymous (e699)]

And do NOT tell your current gym you are looking until you are out the door…or they will show you the door. Send a polite email AFTER you have left thanking them “thank you for your time with Susie, but we will no longer be attending X gym” and be done. Don’t tell your current gym where you are going (they’ll find out on their own) even if they ask (“we don’t know what we’re doing “). Some gyms are ok with folks leaving (and usually only when they are relocating) but most are not and will be downright nasty to you and your kid.

Yes, and this is what makes me nervous. I don’t like to burn a bridge and I know that will be inevitable if we decide to leave. Our current gym isn’t bad at all, but I feel like at some point mid-season the coach basically decided my DD wasn’t worth it and the level of coaching drastically dropped off for her. My DD is barely 7yo, exceptionally mature and stoic for her age, and has a great attitude and work ethic for her age - so it’s not a behavioral issue. I started noticing after the 2nd or 3rd meet that teammates would be given frequent corrections and reminders and meanwhile it felt hardly anything was said to my DD even when I could clearly see things needing correcting. Once this change happened, I noticed progress stall out and enthusiasm diminish some for my DD. I thought I was just overthinking it but at the end of the season we were informed she was being moved from L3 over to Xcel Silver - nobody else from her team was moved over. I met with coaching staff and was told she needed to work on certain areas and build up her strength and flexibility and then could possibly move back to L3 next year but i don’t have much trust left. Nothing was shared prior to that. Meanwhile other gymnasts with lower meet scores were kept for another year of L3. How does one build up strength and skill with less time in the gym, less conditioning, and less intensive coaching? Some say Xcel is a good fit for gymnasts with uneven strengths and allows them to succeed more by focusing on their strengths while building up the weaknesses more gradually. But this gym has their Xcel gymnasts perform the same routine as each other, so I don’t see how that works. My DD is now performing bar, beam, and floor routines that have less challenging skills after already learning more advanced skills this past year, like a front hip circle. So now she loses those skills? I’m fine with moving to Xcel but feel like a gym with a stronger Xcel program and more proven track record with gymnasts this young advancing from Xcel would be better. But I do worry I’ll regret the move.

 

[Anonymous (a461)]

Assume you are talking to a good buddy of your child’s coach and of your gym’s owner. Be very diplomatic and very cautions about what you share. If you badmouth your old gym, they will assume that you will badmouth them too someday. Also, assume that if you tell them that the coach didn’t like your kid that they will assume it is because your child is difficult and they will assume the worst of your child from the get-go.

You might say that your gym didn’t have space for her in their development program and that she tried xcel but didn’t feel like the program was a good fit. Tell them that You are interested in her continuing in the development program, which is why you are looking into other gyms. Tell them that you are open to xcel but you are hoping to find an xcel program where your daughter will have an opportunity to continue being challenged. There is no need to say that she was the only one moved to xcel or to speculate on why she was chosen for xcel. That is honest and succinct.

 

[Anonymous (fbfd)]

Moving to another gym sounds appropriate given what you’ve shared. At barely 7 she has years to grow and develop but it sounds like the coaches at her current gym have basically dismissed her. As others have said, keep it vague when discussing reasons for moving and never, ever badmouth the old gym. Everyone knows everyone in the gym world.

 

[Anonymous (c8f8)]

We’ve had several girls try out new gyms this year and I IMMEDIATELY got text messages that so and so was at X gym for a trial. The gym world is incredibly small.