Parents DD frustrated; how can I help?

[JoyAvenueMom]

DD spent the summer at a t new gym training 16 hours per week for new Level 5. She LOVED it. Our gym made a decision to test out of old L6 and compete L6 instead of competing L5. DD (moving from non USA gym) was the only one not ready to test out. (BARS, ugh!) As a result, she was moved to the new L4 group for the season. I agree it is the right decision for her to compete new L4..it's her first year in USA..and she could use a good year competing! Unfortunately, the new group only practices 12 hours per week, and spends 90% of the time (according to dd) on L4 skills. She is VERY disappointed in 1) less time in the gym and 2)not spending as much time learning new skills. I have tried to explain how important it is to "perfect" her skills...and in general to just encourage. However; first and foremost, this is supposed to be "FUN"...and to her it is less fun now than a few weeks ago. She just turned 9 and doesn't have a full grasp of the big picture. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new gym and her coaches seem wonderful. They are doing a great job of accommodating a wide range of skills in the group as most will be new L5....but there is not much time to up-train as we approach meet season. So do I just keep smiling and nodding and dropping her off, or is there more I can do to help her through the transition?

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

Just realized I posted in the wrong thread. CB gurus..can this be fixed?

 

[mariposa]

Do you want it in the Parents Forum?

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[mariposa]

Moved to Parents Forum.

In answer to your question, that would definitely be hard, to get to train more and harder skills and then be moved down, but you trust her coaches, so just keep putting a positive spin on it for your daughter! My daughter had something similar happen as a level 4, she changed gyms and went from more hours to less and having to repeat level 4 instead of moving up. It took some time to adjust, but she did and was fine.

Good luck to her! I think she will benefit from doing the year of compulsories and then moving on after getting competition experience. I would imagine she has her skills pretty solid for level 4, so hopefully a good year of competition and success at the level she is proficient in will be only a good thing!

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[Muddlethru]

My daughter too had a similar experience. We switched gyms and she had to forfeit a season. So, she is repeating the same level this year. Hours were not decreased but she is just perfecting skills she already knows. She is ok with it but has indicated she wants to be pushed and do more. I plan on speaking with the coach. Have you done that? Tell them how your daughter is feeling and see what they can do or suggest. In addition, once she starts competing and racking in the medals, she might get excited again.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Maybe they would allow her to keep coming 16 - and work one day a week with the other group. I am sure they want to push her and help her as well. Worth a shot in talking to them I think.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

Mariposa,
Thanks for moving post...and for the encouragement! Just found out gym is adding an additional class for those who want more hours...dd is thrilled. Coach keeps saying she can work on harder skills each practice after she finishes the scheduled drills. I think her biggest issue is just disappointment. Good life lesson.

My4 and 4thelove...great suggestions. The coaches have been great. They think the extra hours at her level will be more helpful. (so happy for this new option!) I know her coach has coached optional levels before, so she pushes her for "excellence" in each skill, knowing how it will help. She promises more time to "uptrain" as current skills improve. I have tried planting seeds like...layouts will be easier when your back handsprings are stronger..etc.

 

[gymgal]

Coach keeps saying she can work on harder skills each practice after she finishes the scheduled drills. I think her biggest issue is just disappointment. Good life lesson.

does dd know this? Just keep reminding her that working toward perfection of the current skills comes first but if she does her work efficiently, she should have time at the end of the rotation to work new skills.

 

[iwannacoach]

Coach keeps saying she can work on harder skills each practice after she finishes the scheduled drills. I think her biggest issue is just disappointment. Good life lesson.

She needs to focus on making every minute (of her 12 hours) the best it can be. That probably won't happen until she shakes the chip off her shoulder, so tell her to get over it and move on..

Add the notion that she moved to a better gym and throw in my promise....... If you do your absolute best every skill, you'll have fun, if you try your absolute best you'll be noticed by the coach, and if you work you absolute hardest you'll make twice the progress you would get from working almost your absolute hardest......

That's the absolute truth........ and it applies to every skill at every level, as there is no skill that can't be polished to a higher degree, or understood in more depth. Every single skill has value, no matter how easy it seems

 

[leotardmakermum]

If you do your absolute best every skill, you'll have fun, if you try your absolute best you'll be noticed by the coach, and if you work you absolute hardest you'll make twice the progress you would get from working almost your absolute hardest......

That's the absolute truth........ and it applies to every skill at every level, as there is no skill that can't be polished to a higher degree, or understood in more depth. Every single skill has value, no matter how easy it seems

I'm just about to print this off and stick it on my daughter's bedroom wall. Thanks!

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

Iwannacoach....I LOVE your "promise". It reminds me of a book I once read: 212 Degree thinking. At 211 degrees, water is merely really hot...at 212, something magical happens. Those who are willing to contribute that extra little bit of effort will reap the biggest rewards. Great advice I have already shared with dd.

DD seems to be pretty much over it, I haven't seen any more long faces after practice. I should have given her more credit for being resilient. She is getting lots of praise for improvements in form...which has helped quite a bit. Again...great coaches make all the difference!

 

[iwannacoach]

I haven't seen any more long faces after practice....... She is getting lots of praise for improvements in form...which has helped quite a bit.

That's a pretty quick recovery. Hmmm, maybe she has a lot left in the tank after all.

Your 212 degree analogy is exactly what I was talking about. There are skills with a definite threshold that, while different for each child, cannot be crossed in the relm of trying kinda hard. You can trade 1 year of kinda hard on a bhs series (for example) for 2 months of full commitment and end up farther along than the kinda sorta approach, because that skill is one of those that has a threshold..... mentally, and physically.

Having said that, I want to clearly state that kinda sort is ok with me..... as long as the child and parent know what happens, or doesn't, in that setting.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

That's a pretty quick recovery. Hmmm, maybe she has a lot left in the tank after all.

Haha! It seems like all I have to do is post a question on CB and the CB fairies fix the problem.
She even told me last night she has decided she likes bars. She hasn't "liked" them for a while because she has struggled so much with her kips. She has such a passion for this sport, I think her love for the activity helps her overcome whatever obstacle she faces...in time. I just have to learn to give her the time to work through it.

 

[mariposa]

JoyAvenueMom,

Love for the sport is key! My daughter has never been a natural at gym, but she loves it, works hard and has progressed slowly and steadily through the levels. Sometimes I see her struggle and wonder why she keeps going back, I sure wouldn't, but she marches right back in day after day and tries again because she loves gymnastics. She seems to have hit a plateau at level 7/age, will be interesting to see if she works past this or moves on.