DD is bored and unhappy and the gym won't provide an option she'd be content with

[Bobby]

This question has been on my mind for several weeks, but a similar scenario on the coach's forum has inspired me to bring it up at last.

DD1 started a gymnastics class at Gym 1 when she was in preschool. Gym 1 placed her in their advanced class when she started 'big school'. DD1 switched to Gym 2 when we found out they'd let her spend more time in the gym. DD1 has been very happy at Gym 2 and is doing well.

It would have been frowned on to take DD2 to Gym 1 for preschool gymnastics after DD1 had left there, so DD2 started kindergym at Gym 2 when she was in preschool. DD2 has watched DD1 for a long time, and really thinks she'd like gymnastics. For a while the novelty of wearing a leo and being allowed on some real equipment was enough. But she knows what gymnastics is and she's not doing ANY. I've tried to explain that throwing beanbags is good for her hand-eye coordination, parachute games strengthen her arm muscles, and playing motor bike is preparing her for landings but she's not buying it. She wants to do stretches (not allowed), point her toes (they don't ever do that), and stand on her hands (huge no no). Her focus in that class was often poor - she spent a lot of time wistfully watching the bigger girls and getting into trouble for mimicking them (eg: doing straight jumps or poses along the beam instead of the required obstacle course). Gym 2 offered her a place in an advanced school-aged rec class this year - which is almost identical to kindergym but with kids who are a year older. I find it difficult to believe any parent believes their child is receiving 'advanced' training in such a class.

My reaction is apparently every coaches' worst nightmare. I did indeed pull out the so-called "weapons grade": "but my DD is bored and unhappy" about a child who is not yet 5. Not only did I get nowhere, but I couldn't even get a worst case scenario of how many months or years I'd have to subject her to gymNOTstics before she would even be allowed to TRY actual gymnastics. Having reviewed the coaches' forum summaries on this topic I'm pretty sure I made the right decision not to enrol her this year. Whatever improvement they were looking for to move her 'up', there's no chance she'd show it while she was getting more frustrated and resentful.

I've enrolled her in dance this year instead, and so far she's sufficently diverted by the special sparkly tutu and ballet slippers with ribbons (yes it is overdressing but at least it got her interested). But I'm dreading the day she asks to go back to gymnastics. I might already be labelled a gym-hopper (over DD1), and I can't imagine it would go down well if I tried taking DD2 to another gym. And I don't want to move DD1 again, or have my girls at different gyms either.

I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation. I just can't think of one viable option for getting DD2 into a gymnastics class she'll be happy with. When I recall how I switched DD1 away from a class she loved just so she could have more hours in another class she loves, I'm filled with guilt and regret that I didn't research more into how it might disadvantage DD2 down the track.

Any suggestions???

 

[Bobby]

PS: In fairness to the kindergym coach who made the recommendation, she doubtless thinks I was exaggerating the boredome issue. DD was always cheerful with the other kids. And even though she constantly whined at home that the coach was mean for not letting her do 'real' gymnastics, she tried hard to win coach over by being super affectionate and friendly. And DD2's constant watching of the big girls no doubt just seemed like a short-attention span and immaturity.
PPS: I'm never quite sure why coaches are so reluctant to share their rationale for these things. Perhaps they assume parents will just argue with it? Obviously I would have if I had contradictory information - but wouldn't a coach want to know if I did?
Or did I just give up too soon? After all, our whole debate amounted to about 2 minutes of actual conversation.
PPPS: I don't want to approach the HC about it all. The HC doesn't know DD2, would be keen to support kindercoach, and I'd get a reputation as a complainer but STILL not achieve a change.

 

[emorymom]

Uh, not a gym hopper over preschool classes. Any gym that gets possessive or wants loyalty re: preschool classes is a little over the top.

Now the gym we are currently at, holds kids back from preteam until they are older, but not all do and in other gyms it's quite normal for 4 year old girls to start the developmental track of "real" gymnastics. However, since your DD1 is happy at the gym I would either do what you are doing (a year of dance) or do the rec class they placed her in once a week.

I would email the head coach and tell her your daughter has decided to do dance right now, but is very interested in her older sister's gymnastics and what is the best time to enroll her in a developmental track.

 

[10.0]

So all they do is play games? That is so weird. We have Mommy and me and Preschool class and we do fun warmups and have child friendly equiptment in our little kids gym but we do skills from 18 months on. In Mommy and me the parent listens to the coach and helps guide the child though the skills. In Preschool (3-5) the coach teaches the class and they learn the USAG level 1 skills on bars, beam, floor and vault.

We even have an advance program mostly for 5 year olds but some more mature 4 year olds get in that uses the big gym and big equiptment and it longer in lenght. I think preschool gym should be mostly about fun, learning social skills, learning to listen and behave more than getting a perfect handstand but the fact that it is GYMNASTICS class they should be being taught skills. Otherwise why not just take her to a play group or a park, much cheaper.

 

[gymdog]

In the preschool program I work in, if she's not 5, there's nothing we can do beyond the advanced preschool class. They can't learn walkovers or back handsprings. We do work on a little beam (jumps, forward roll), bars (pullover, casts, sometimes BHC if they are good at casts), and floor (handstand, cartwheel, forward/backward roll). This is pretty standard for an advanced 4-6 yrs class. It sounds like you have a problem with a program, and the coaches probably can't move a 4 year old into specific classes, so you should probably take a break until she's old enough to join your desired class, or move her to the other gym. I don't know anyone who would care here if one child was doing classes at one gym and one child was doing preschool classes at another.

 

[Linsul]

haha I didn't realize 'weapons grade' would catch on in another thread! What you did isn't weapons grade at all I don't think! To me, 'weapons grade' is using 'she's bored' or 'she doesn't want to come to class' in a situation where the coach isn't predicting the future to satisfaction and the skills/proficiency required were known up front. Basically, a conversational weapon to provoke an emotional response when the facts aren't satisfactory to the listener. I've been coaching for years, and weapons grade has only happened 2 times!

I would feel the same way as you in your situation most likely. I coach preschoolers in a regular class and the preschool advanced classes. We do play some games, usually during the warm up. Only the advanced preschoolers do splits, and bridges, but all of them do the other stretches, practice pointing and flexing, learn the names of positions and stretches, etc. To clarify on the advanced bridges, they only do those if they can do it completely on their own with good hands and straight arms, count to 5, and come down. We also encourage pointed toes, donkey kicks, spotted handstands, etc. No round offs, bhs, kickovers, or limbers are the limits.

My own daughter was in gymnastics, and started in a 5yr old class. If she played the whole time I would've raised an eyebrow too. I agree with Gymdog. Sounds like the program is incompatible with what you'd like to see and your gymmie would like to do. It happens! Don't worry about gym hopping at the preschool level. Do what your schedule, $, and DD's interests will allow. I've coached kids who were concurrently enrolled at another gym while at mine while their parents figured it out. It happens, there's no animosity from a coaching/gym standpoint.

 

[Bobby]

haha I didn't realize 'weapons grade' would catch on in another thread! ...I would feel the same way as you in your situation most likely. I coach preschoolers in a regular class and the preschool advanced classes...

Thanks, but it did give me an insight into why the coach's face fell to the floor the minute "bored" left my mouth.
And she's in 'big school' this year (our children start between 4.5 and 5.5).
Maybe I'll reconsider other gyms in the area for DD2 - although I feel bad for considering gyms for her that I've previosly rejected for DD1 (mostly because I didn't like the ratio of coaches to children or standard of equipment).

 

[Linsul]

Thanks, but it did give me an insight into why the coach's face fell to the floor the minute "bored" left my mouth.

Honestly, no coach likes to hear it, so the face-fall can be for a lot of different reasons. Truly bored does happen, and preschool is a prime candidate for it. When you have kids that shouldn't be doing things for anatomical reasons, who are totally capable of something like a kickover, it happens. We know the reality of legitimate boredom, and can usually work around it unless bound by program definitions. I'd be more worried at a coach who didn't give away concern over boredom, because the kids are kids for us too, not gymnast #8947565.

I need to clarify that boredom in rec (aside from having to wait for a birthday for anatomical reasons) can usually be worked around so it's good to know as a coach. The boredom I was referring to as 'weapons grade' was regarding someone in a developmental program, with team aspirations and training under set and transparent expectations regarding attitude and skill proficiency prior to advancing. These are much more fluid and malleable realities in rec.

And she's in 'big school' this year (our children start between 4.5 and 5.5). Maybe I'll reconsider other gyms in the area for DD2 - although I feel bad for considering gyms for her that I've previosly rejected for DD1 (mostly because I didn't like the ratio of coaches to children or standard of equipment).

Those are great considerations. Class ratio and equipment standards are huge.

 

[flipper's fan]

I had similar experiences, when dd was little. The first gym she went to was a rec program and was very very good, but dd outgrew them and they would not make an exception for age ( three months short of five) to move her into the next level class. It just wasn't worth spending money for her to do another 12 weeks of the same old stuff when she was totally bored. So off we went to the gym next door which had team and more levels of rec classes. They welcomed her into the 5 yo class at age 4yrs 8 mos and after two sessions ( about six months) she was bored there too. She didn't complain, she just fooled around and did not pay attention. That was causing her to be viewed as not talented, not focused, not worthy of a higher class. So, I got together with another mom and we started doing private lessons for our girls. It made a big difference because the coach was not stuck on doing the program so everyone could participate and the girls were more focused and had less downtime. They didn't do spectacular over the top skills but were really doing the level 1,2, and 3 skills to prepare for team at age 6, level 4. I don't know if this is possible for you, but it was another route to the goal for my dd.

 

[Aussie_coach]

There is nothing wrong with having two kids at two different gyms, it is not frowned upon at our gym. We have a few families who over the years have had one kid with us and one kid at another gym. Because different gyms are best for different kids, different gyms have different classes so why not.