Parents Dilemma

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I need advice. My daughter has now been told 3 times since summer that she will move up a level by one of her 5 coaches. Then twice the coaches have said no she won't be moving up.:eek: It's been really hard for me to advise her. :confused: She is devastated.

I just don't agree with telling a kid one thing and then yanking it away. Once, I can kind of forgive but again? Why not just say sorry kiddo for the whole year you will repeat this level? It wuld totally suck she won 3rd in state at this level and gone to regionals twice but at least we would know where we stood. I heard the coach when he told her," the gym just can't keep you back after the performance you gave." at her last meet. So I know I'm not hearing one thing form the coaches and another from my dd. DD was really excited to move up & asked for the specific things she needed to do to get there. She trained them and the coach said just last week again that they would like to move her up for the meet after next. Which was fine. she was thrilled. Now tonight i've picked her up from the gym and they've told her three more things she needs to learn to get to the next level.:eek: & that she's not going to the next level. It's a moving target at this point. How could anyone understand the move up requirements??? What would you do???
Well, i don't have any advice, just empathy because we've had that happen and it really stinks. Maybe it's a lack of communication between all coaches? Maybe they are dangling carrots so to speak which is fine but every now and then you need to throw one! :rolleyes:
I think you need to be very brave and calm and ask for a meeting with the coaches. Write down each incident where she has been told she can move up and who said it and take it with you incase you get emotional (helps me).
Kids need to know where they stand. Could you ask for her to move up and train but not compete until she has all the skills they have just mentioned as a sort of compromise. It will really affect your dd confidence if she keeps being told different things.
Carrot dangling is ok if they keep their promises. What she is learning now is that promises can be broken and that people lie to her. Make sure you tell the coaches that too. They should be ashamed. Mean to lie to a child.
I thin you definatly need to speak to either the gym ower or the head coach about this. They need to be aware that the coaches are giving inconsistent information to the gymnasts and put a stop to it.
I would defintly have talk with the hc and owner .They shouldn't keep telling her she is going to move up and then changing there mind thats not right.
I would ask specific and pointed questions to the HC.

- What does she need to do - specifically - to move up a level that she hasn't already done?
- How can we provide her with the skills needed to advance in time for the next session?
- WHEN can we schedule a time so she can test out?

USAG rules state the the athletes can move up levels "at their own pace" and test out on the requisite skills required to advance to the next level. Failing this, the coach needs to provide specific reasons why she can't advance.

Be prepared though. Advancement isn't only about scores and skills. It's also about capabilities needed in the next level. If she's not physically or emotionally strong enough to take on the tasks required in the next level, safety and maturity will always dictate.

No gym worth it's salt will knowingly risk safety of an athlete.
USAG rules state the the athletes can move up levels "at their own pace" and test out on the requisite skills required to advance to the next level. Failing this, the coach needs to provide specific reasons why she can't advance.

I disagree with this a bit in that USAG requirements are minimums and each gym has the right to set the own standards.

More than when and how to move up, the problem here though appears to be the mixed messages and inconsistent information she's getting. I agree with others who suggested addressing is with the HC. You don't need to be accusatory, but I would bring it to his or her attention that your dd is being told different things by different coaches and it's frustrating a demoralizing for her.
Its more than time to schedule a meeting with the HC(owner if possible) and if you can pull in any of the coaches who have said she's ready to move up. This back and forth stuff needs to be addressed and put to bed. Either she'll be ready this season or she won't and if not then what skills are needed and why is that list changing? I would get the list of skills in writing.

IIRC, your dd is a L8 and was looking to move to L9? So, certainly an experienced gymnast and the coaches should be able to tell if emotionally/physically she could handle L9 a few mos ago. How strong and experienced is her current team? Just wondering that if she was a little borderline, they might be holding her back to get some high scores for the current team and help with team placement----which isn't right, but we all know its done.

Let us know what happens!!
Thank you so much for your responses. I really don't mind if she's one level or the other. i have no way to determine her ability to move up. I do mind that it keeps going back and forth. I checked with my dd to make sure she was ok with me talking to the coaches. She asked me not to and said she'd like to handle it herself. So I said that was ok and helped her arrange her points. She said she'd ask the coach for some time to talk today and I dropped her off a bit early so she wouldn't have to do it in front of the whole team. We'll see what comes out of it. She's the one in the gym day in and day out so I feel i owe her this.....
Wow, she sounds very mature. I hope they listen to her and give her some real answers to when/what she needs to move up.
Well dd went in and spoke to the HC. He has decided to up the level for movement. He's changed it late in the game and that's just all there is to it. So instead of the yurchenko pike my dd has now it needs to be a layout before competing. Instead of the round off layout dismount on beam it needs to be a layout with a twist. Instead of the hshs it needs to be a hs layout also on beam. Her floor and bars are ready. so I guess that's just it.... No more mystery. I just wish this list had been up over the summer while the girls were working so hard to move up and had the time. Last year's level group learned most of these while competing at that level but this year hc wan'ts them alreadylearned.... My dd isn't thrilled but at least has some concrete answers. I'm proud of her for going to the hc and finding out all by herself. there's the silver lining!:)

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