Parents DS misbehaving during class!!

[munchkin3]

So.....my DS sometimes misbehaves during class! Yes it's true!
He even got kicked out for 10 min.!

My gut tells me to leave it up to the coach, and let him handle my DS behavior. If he needs to talk to me, he will.

But my heart told me to reprimand him again....so I sent him to think about it for a few hours in his room and then ...he told me that he loves gymnastics, wants to keep doing it......but if he gets grounded, he does not want to keep doing it......ouch!

OK....any other parents out there....what do you do when your kid misbehaves or gets in trouble during class?? Hoe much horsing around is acceptable for an 8yr old....

I don't want to be a push over either, if my son gets a bad note home from his school teacher, he would be in hot water too.....
J

 

[Billy]

My DD sometimes loses focus and starts playing around, too. It usually happens when she's having to stand around awaiting her turn or when she's not sure what she's supposed to be doing. I do have to remind myself that she is only 6 and that is what young children do. She doesn't get punished for it or anything. A talk with her usually takes care of it.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I would let the coach handle it. If it becomes a real issue I am sure the coach will speak with you.

If he really loves gymnastics and you notice that he is getting sent out every class, I would tell him - if you want to keep going you need to behave in class. Or, a friend of mine made her son do chores to earn some of the $ to pay for a portion of the class since he spent quite a bit of time goofing off and getting in trouble (he was 10, so a little older). if he didn't goof off - he didn't have to pay.

 

[GymTwinsMom]

My DDs also start to fool around when waiting their turn. The coach takes care of it, and if its really bad, they get extra conditioning or have to climb the rope.

Alexis and her friend were waiting their turn on an event. They saw chalk and started to draw on the mats with it. The coach yelled at them and mad them do 5 rope climbs as punishment. You can ask the HC to give your child and extra punishment.

Good luck!

 

[Billy]

There is a school of thought that says conditioning exercises should never be used as punishment. They are for the betterment of the gymnast and as such, the gymnast should be taught to want to do them and appreciate the results of doing them. Using conditioning as punishment could potentially have a negative effect on his training in the long run.

 

[bogwoppit]

When my youngest was about 6 she would goof off a lot, so after a couple of warnings from me I pulled her out of gym for a month. She begged to go every time her sis got ready to go, I would gently remind her that gymnastics is a reward in life and a privilege. When she went back a month later the lesson was learned. I always tell my kids that I can spend my money on many things in life, if they want the special things they have to work hard in school and respect their coaches time in the gym.

 

[mariposa]

My DD just turned 6, so I totally understand when she plays around sometimes. I have told her that it is fine to talk with her friends when she is waiting in line, etc, but that when it is close to her turn, she needs to pay attention.

I don't like the idea of conditioning for punishment, but my DD does. She got a 5 minute time out I guess the other day for playing around on something while waiting her turn and she was devastated. She has never complained when her punishment was push ups, v-ups, etc. She said she would rather do something as a punishment than just sit there. I would prefer the time out (and honestly think for her it would be MORE of a deterrent), but different coaches have different styles.

I also don't like when the all the kids have to do push-ups or something because of the behavior of one child.

I agree that at age 8, I would probably tell him that if he continues to play around that I won't continue to pay for gymnastics. I would have a talk with him about how it wastes everyones time, the other kids as well, etc, and how it is a privilege to be able to do gymnastics.

Good luck!

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

I too would make sure he knows that gym is a privilege and that if he cannot abide by the rules of the gym he can no longer go. I wouldn't make a huge deal of an occasional goof off or silliness (this is what 8 year olds are best at) - but if it becomes a habit and distracts the coach and others in the class, then it would need to be addressed.

 

[GymTwinsMom]

There is a school of thought that says conditioning exercises should never be used as punishment. They are for the betterment of the gymnast and as such, the gymnast should be taught to want to do them and appreciate the results of doing them. Using conditioning as punishment could potentially have a negative effect on his training in the long run.

Thats a great point! I think you should come to our gym and coach the girls

 

[GymTwinsMom]

I also don't like when the all the kids have to do push-ups or something because of the behavior of one child. Good luck!

That annoys me as well! On one of the practices, the level 6's were doing conditioning at the end, and I was in the waiting room watching along with some other moms. Practice ended at 8 that night, and it was already 8:15! They were finally letting them go, except when one of the girls did 18 instead of the instructed 20 push-ups. They called all the girls back onto the floor and announced that this certain girl cheated, and they now had to do 30 more push ups By the time they were finally all done, the girl was embarrassed and in tears.

 

[munchkin3]

I am glad to hear that I am not alone....I really didn't think so, but its stressful when you put in time and $ into this sport and DS goofs off.....

Oh well, some is normal......A new season is ahead.....

Our gym does not use conditioning as punishment.....Coach sends them out to the parent waiting room to sit.....It is very embarasing !!...

Coach says not to worry ...it is normal for boys.....poor coach!.

Thanks all

 

[Gymnasticsgirl521]

I would discuss it with him and tell him if you see more goofing off it will be the end of gymnastics. I do not tollerate that kind of behavior from either of mine. They know if they are sent out or off the ice for behavior they are in HUGE trouble. It has only happened once for each of them and I know it will NEVER happen again. They each had to write lines when they got home 50 times each for what they did. DS had to write I will listen. DD had to copy I will not cry. Both of mine are very young but they know there are ramifications for mis-behavior during their sports. They both cost way too much to let it get away.

Also I am one that I support the team conditioning because it builds a team. If you have one goof off it helps to have the others ignoring the behavior and not joining in. They know that they will be held accountable if they let it go on. DD was a cause of this last week. She was doing handstands while the coach was explaining what she watned done. Coach said she had ants in her pants and made her sit in the middle while the entire team had to run 5 laps. As a result of her behavior. She was not happy and felt really bad that her friends had to run because she couldn't contain herself. Her coach felt bad but she does this too often. Meaning can't stop flipping around. So that being said DD had to copy 20 times I will stop and listen to my coach. A. it helps her writting skills and spelling and it reinforces what the coach said.

 

[ginnymac]

I am generally not one for 'team' punishment for the behavior of one. I don't think that it is fair for other children to be responsible and accountable for another child's behavior. For a chronic mis-behaver, it can create a very negative social situation. For the other kids (particularly the kids who always behave), it is punishing them for something that they have no control over.

Something that has worked for me (with my own kids) has been to write apology notes to the coach/teacher and anyone else directly impacted. Then, they must hand deliver these notes. Generally the receiver of the note has read it right then and there and again discussed the situation (now at a calm time). It has given them the opportunity to really reflect on their behavior and apologize. And you can bet they don't want to write again to their coach/teacher/teammates/classmates a second time.

 

[greyhoundrescue]

I agree about having the kids write an apology letter. I used to teach in an inner city middle school (oy!) and this was one of the most effective punishments I was able to meet out. I'm not; however, a big fan of writing the rule(s) over and over again, but that's just me--I don't think it gives the child the opportunity to reflect upon what he/she did wrong, why it was wrong, and what he/she will do differently in the future.

I think that so much of what works depends upon the child and the culture of the class/team. For some kids, doing push-ups is good punishment, for others they either like them or they get no punitive value from doing them.

I think one of the most important things to remember is that the class is the coach's domain. It is up to him or her to deal with classroom (well, gym-room) management as needed. You can do your own thing at home, but the most important thing is to make sure your child is aware of the rules and the expectation and that he or she is being respectful. It sounds like the coach is really not concerned about this behavior, he/she has it under control. Follow his/her lead.

 

[TeamDad]

My gut tells me to leave it up to the coach, and let him handle my DS behavior. If he needs to talk to me, he will.

I would never assume that a coach has any children of their own or any parenting skills to speak of. In fact, this behavior might be an indication that your son is not responding to his coaches 'coaching style'.

I would request a sit down meeting with your coach to discuss what's going on and how together you can come up with a plan to deal with it (first check if your gym has a policy about this). If you are both on the same page, you are likely to be more effective in getting your son back on the right track.

Secondly, I wouldn't automatically assume that your son is just acting up. Stick around and do some observation during practice if you can. Then talk it over with your son and listen to what he says is bothering him.

 

[Billy]

I would never assume that a coach has any children of their own or any parenting skills to speak of. In fact, this behavior might be an indication that your son is not responding to his coaches 'coaching style'.

I would request a sit down meeting with your coach to discuss what's going on and how together you can come up with a plan to deal with it (first check if your gym has a policy about this). If you are both on the same page, you are likely to be more effective in getting your son back on the right track.

Secondly, I wouldn't automatically assume that your son is just acting up. Stick around and do some observation during practice if you can. Then talk it over with your son and listen to what he says is bothering him.

That's good advice. I had a talk with my DD when she wasn't paying attention and she said she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing. So, I explained to her that if she wasn't in line waiting her turn, she needed to ask the coach what she was supposed to do. That has helped and while she still losing focus sometimes (she is only 6, after all), she's staying on track most of the time.