Women Friend Drama, Gymnastics related

[cogymmom2dd]

My 8 year old is currently competing XCEL silver and is crushing it. She is doing so well, scoring at least 36AA at each meet, breaking PR’s at each meet as the season continues. Her team as a whole is doing awesome and has snagged a few 1st place finishes so far.
Anyways, she has a group of friends at her school that are also gymnasts (Level 2 and 3) at another local gym who identifies as an ‘elite’ gym. I absolutely refuse to send my kids there due to seeing and hearing experiences that my cousin had with her daughter (they did not report a fall on the beam where she hit her head and had injuries) and another incident with my neighbor’s daughter where an injury wasn’t reported. Both of these people left this gym due to those reasons. If we were ever to leave our current gym, I would drive 45 min past this ‘elite’ gym to go to the next reputable gym. Going to gymnastics with her school friends will never be an option unless they transfer in to us.
Our gym is very family friendly but not elite. There are multiple families with multiple kids that compete. Most of the coaches also have kids who are on team and we get a lot of transfers from this ‘elite’ gym once their kids get burned out. We are one big family, and some of our closest friends have been made through the last 5 seasons spent at the gym.
Our gym is mainly XCEL, but my oldest did compete levels 2 and 3 at this gym (currently level 6). Right now, the program structure is XCEL Bronze-Gold and then they do test out meets for levels 4 and 5 and start back with Levels 6-8 (no 9’s or 10’s yet). The level 8 team is pretty decent, they just took home a 2nd place team award at a large meet 2 weeks ago and I foresee there being a level 9/10 next season. They also have a homeschool option for the more serious athletes, but remain very family friendly.
My daughter has come home from school upset after her last few meets. She goes to school excited to tell her friends about how great she did at her meet and their responses are that she isn’t a real gymnast because she isn’t doing level 2 or 3 like real gymnasts do and that our gym isn’t for real gymnasts.
My daughter competes her bars routine doing a kip and a squat-on. She is doing a BHS for her first floor tumbling pass and a FHS for her second tumbling pass. In reality, she is using level 4 equivalent skills in her routines and is doing so well.
Her level 2 and 3 friends, one the other hand, aren’t doing as well. I believe the highest AA score for any of them hasn’t broke 35. I am not sure why and how they think that my daughter is not a gymnast.
I am not sure if their parents are saying this to them (I typically post meet info on Facebook because we have a lot of family that isn’t local and likes to be updated). I’m concerned that they are seeing my posts and saying something to the effect that she’s only scoring high because she’s doing an easier level or saying something negative about our gym as a whole.
I actually talked to her school teacher about this at our last parent teacher conference and I felt like I made her head spin trying to explain the differences between JO compulsory vs XCEL levels and the different skills, etc. In the end, she said that she never hears about gymnastics from my daughter but has noticed that her friends do tend to isolate her sometimes.
She suggested that I email her with her meet scores and placements and she will make an announcement to the class on Monday in hopes that it diffuses any drama with the friends.
Now, my issues lie with the parents of the girls, as they are likely planting the seed in their kids’ heads about not being a real gymnast. Does anyone have any articles or links that kind of shed a positive light on the XCEL program that maybe I can share via social media?
When I’ve tried to explain XCEL to her friends’ parents, many of them don’t realize that XCEL even exists because it isn’t an option for them at their gym (and quite honestly, there are a few of her friends who I think would benefit from XCEL).
Or any other suggestions on what I can do to stop the nonsense and let my kid feel confident for more than one day after a meet before she gets shot down by her ‘friends’ at age 8?!?!

 

[Cmumgym]

I wouldn’t be going to extremes to discuss excel to JO to teachers or their parents. It sounds as though it’s unfortunately young girls typical school cattiness. If it wasn’t about gymnastics it would be about something else. Because those girls spend hours out of school together their friendship is tight and whether it be jealousy or having to feel better about themselves. If their parents haven’t taught them how to respect people then talking to their parents won’t help. I would tell the teacher the girls have been catty and to keep an eye on it and to notify the parents to maybe have a talk about their behaviour. Or even invite the girls around with the parents. Not to discuss excel to JO but to have some fun and lunch or something. If it continues just tell your daughter she deserves better friends. Unfortunately it’s a resilience life lesson that children end up having to learn at school. Whether it’s about gymnastics or anything. Someone will always find something to put you down about.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

My suggestion for you is to encourage DD to keep gym at the gym. My DD has had alot of success at the State and Regional level through her level 8 year until injuries have impeded her progress. Her friends and teachers at school have no idea of how successful she has been. Even as an 8 year old, she never discussed a meet at school. They know she is a gymnast and she takes a couple of big trips a year where she misses school, but that is it. I dont discuss it with her friends parents anymore than they share their kids' hockey or soccer results. Children have multiple interests, sports and hobbies over the weekends that they don't run to school and expect everyone to ooh and ahh over the results. You want everyone to be happy for DD while you disparage their level 2&3 efforts. Why do you even know their scores? They aren't at your gym. You have very legitimate reasons for not taking DD to the other gym. The other children's parents have chosen another route. The teacher announcing meet results in class is not a good idea. Comparing xcel and JO scores is not a good idea. Comparing classmates at all is not a good idea. It will get your DD nowhere in terms of making friends and dealing with these girls. Leave gym at the gym and leave meet results for the weekend.

 

[gymgal]

Please Do not send results to the teacher for her to single out your daughter in class. This is only going to make matters worse with her friends. While I understand your daughter wants to share her successes with her friends, she is also putting down their efforts, whether she realizes it or not and this is likely causing the conflict where the other girls are lashing out at her. I could easily see one of those girls going home (or back to her gym) upset that your dd had higher scores and that mom/coach explaining why (easier to score higher in xcel, which is true) and the girl going back to school saying something similar or embellishing it more. Help your dd understand this and coach her in how to discuss her meet weekend without setting off the others. eventually she will realize that most people (including friends) don't really care about the results because they don't understand the sport. If anything, they are more interested in the experiences. Once your daughter has transitioned to JO, she will be on more "even footing" with these friends and if she is still doing well and they are not, you will see the same cattiness, just a different excuse.

BTW, my dd went up through pre-op (precursor to xcel)/xcel then transitioned into L7. Was a 4-year L10. We live in a state /region where this is more common than other parts of the country but her team still came across many biases from other gyms and from judges against this alternative track. Teach your dd to just continue to follow her own path and not worry about what others say. I know that's not easy for a child but it is a valuable lesson best taught early on.

 

[cogymmom2dd]

I wouldn’t be going to extremes to discuss excel to JO to teachers or their parents. It sounds as though it’s unfortunately young girls typical school cattiness. If it wasn’t about gymnastics it would be about something else. Because those girls spend hours out of school together their friendship is tight and whether it be jealousy or having to feel better about themselves. If their parents haven’t taught them how to respect people then talking to their parents won’t help. I would tell the teacher the girls have been catty and to keep an eye on it and to notify the parents to maybe have a talk about their behaviour. Or even invite the girls around with the parents. Not to discuss excel to JO but to have some fun and lunch or something. If it continues just tell your daughter she deserves better friends. Unfortunately it’s a resilience life lesson that children end up having to learn at school. Whether it’s about gymnastics or anything. Someone will always find something to put you down about.

My suggestion for you is to encourage DD to keep gym at the gym. My DD has had alot of success at the State and Regional level through her level 8 year until injuries have impeded her progress. Her friends and teachers at school have no idea of how successful she has been. Even as an 8 year old, she never discussed a meet at school. They know she is a gymnast and she takes a couple of big trips a year where she misses school, but that is it. I dont discuss it with her friends parents anymore than they share their kids' hockey or soccer results. Children have multiple interests, sports and hobbies over the weekends that they don't run to school and expect everyone to ooh and ahh over the results. You want everyone to be happy for DD while you disparage their level 2&3 efforts. Why do you even know their scores? They aren't at your gym. You have very legitimate reasons for not taking DD to the other gym. The other children's parents have chosen another route. The teacher announcing meet results in class is not a good idea. Comparing xcel and JO scores is not a good idea. Comparing classmates at all is not a good idea. It will get your DD nowhere in terms of making friends and dealing with these girls. Leave gym at the gym and leave meet results for the weekend.

I only know their scores because their parents post pics, videos, and scores on social media and I see them. This is a group of 4 girls in her class and at least 2 of them have been her best friends since Kindergarten.
It was only brought up by the teacher at conferences because she sees my daughter being singled out and I tried to explain the differences between what they do as best as I could, the abridged version. Otherwise I told my daughter just don’t talk about it at school, but it is more the group talking about their meet weekend and my daughter will chime in about hers and will be instantly put down. It’s not like she’s wearing her medals to school the next Monday looking for praise from her peers.

 

[cogymmom2dd]

I wouldn’t be going to extremes to discuss excel to JO to teachers or their parents. It sounds as though it’s unfortunately young girls typical school cattiness. If it wasn’t about gymnastics it would be about something else. Because those girls spend hours out of school together their friendship is tight and whether it be jealousy or having to feel better about themselves. If their parents haven’t taught them how to respect people then talking to their parents won’t help. I would tell the teacher the girls have been catty and to keep an eye on it and to notify the parents to maybe have a talk about their behaviour. Or even invite the girls around with the parents. Not to discuss excel to JO but to have some fun and lunch or something. If it continues just tell your daughter she deserves better friends. Unfortunately it’s a resilience life lesson that children end up having to learn at school. Whether it’s about gymnastics or anything. Someone will always find something to put you down about.

I’ve tried the whole play date thing and it was a bust. The moms do to me what the girls do to my daughter and it was done in my own home. The conversation revolved around gymnastics- the one mom was complaining about them not allowing a spotter for her daughter and making her pay for privates to learn her BHS for level 3. That lead to them talking about who their favorite coach was to do privates with. It was a conversation that I just was an active listener in and it was before things really got out of hand.

 

[skschlag]

I wouldn’t be going to extremes to discuss excel to JO to teachers or their parents. It sounds as though it’s unfortunately young girls typical school cattiness. If it wasn’t about gymnastics it would be about something else. Because those girls spend hours out of school together their friendship is tight and whether it be jealousy or having to feel better about themselves. If their parents haven’t taught them how to respect people then talking to their parents won’t help. I would tell the teacher the girls have been catty and to keep an eye on it and to notify the parents to maybe have a talk about their behaviour. Or even invite the girls around with the parents. Not to discuss excel to JO but to have some fun and lunch or something. If it continues just tell your daughter she deserves better friends. Unfortunately it’s a resilience life lesson that children end up having to learn at school. Whether it’s about gymnastics or anything. Someone will always find something to put you down about.

I agree with this.

Also while your daughter should not just brag about things (which it does not sound like what is going on), she should neither have to hide a huge part of her life at school. She should be able to share experiences and accomplishments. And this is catty girl behavior, and occurs about many things. Next year, it might be gone, or it might be on to something else, or someone else. Help your daughter see how this behavior looks and feels, and what to do about it. She will be more resilient for it.

 

[duyetanh]

I’ve tried the whole play date thing and it was a bust. The moms do to me what the girls do to my daughter and it was done in my own home. The conversation revolved around gymnastics- the one mom was complaining about them not allowing a spotter for her daughter and making her pay for privates to learn her BHS for level 3. That lead to them talking about who their favorite coach was to do privates with. It was a conversation that I just was an active listener in and it was before things really got out of hand.

Sounds like your daughter needs to make some new friends. Not being harsh. Just truthful. And hopefully the new friends won’t do gymnastics, so it won’t be an issue. None of my kids teachers ever knew my kids scores, sure wouldn’t go there with that one. It will get real ugly then...I am sorry she is going through this, but it is a good life lesson to learn at an early age. And she doesn’t need to prove herself (not do you). Just be happy for her with how she is doing.

 

[cogymmom2dd]

Sounds like your daughter needs to make some new friends. Not being harsh. Just truthful. And hopefully the new friends won’t do gymnastics, so it won’t be an issue. None of my kids teachers ever knew my kids scores, sure wouldn’t go there with that one. It will get real ugly then...I am sorry she is going through this, but it is a good life lesson to learn at an early age. And she doesn’t need to prove herself (not do you). Just be happy for her with how she is doing.

Yes, I would be totally fine with a whole new group of friends that had diverse interests. We only have 1 more year at this school until she will transition to middle school and her friends will likely change.
My 10 year old has been competing for 5 years and we have never had this kind of drama and she has a close friend who is a gymnast at the same ‘elite’ gym. They have a mutual respect for each other. They competed against each other at State meet as level 3’s and my daughter won on vault, she was congratulated by the friend and her parents after.
However, this is not the same for my 8 year old and I know it stems with the parents and I hate that my daughter has to feel this way and that it is to the point where the teacher is noticing. She worked hard and had overcome so much to get where she is. We praise her every day. She spent a good chunk of time in PT as a toddler and has profound hearing loss in one ear, so she has been through a lot to get to where she is today and is thriving in all areas of life. I hate that there are people who she considers her close friends that are trying to put her down.

 

[3rd_time_around]

Wow, so much to address in one post!

First, don’t believe everything you hear about the other gym. You come across very clearly that you don’t like that place. But from experience, I know that disgruntled customers are not the best place to get information about a gym. I have also seen and heard awful rumors and stories about the place my girls train, none of which are/were true, all of which were told by disgruntled parents/gymnasts and other adults that had issues I can’t post here.

Second, you can’t compare compulsory scoring with Xcel scoring. Xcel gymnasts can and do score higher because there are less deductions, lower requirements, and they can do what’s easiest for them to do cleanly. Teach your daughter (because she’s the only one you can actually work with) that they are 2 very different tracks for gymnastics.

Third, do not have the teacher announce her scores/placements, as that will breed jealousy or bitterness with the other gymnasts. She can be proud of her accomplishments and also congratulate her friends’ accomplishments so that they aren’t comparing themselves among themselves,

Try not to speak negatively to your daughter about her friends’ gym, as that could be repeated. And even if you think she wouldn’t, she might if she hasn’t already. As much as we hate to admit it, our own kids can be catty and then deny they were or not realize it. Level 2/3 are not easy levels, they have to be competed exactly as scripted with predetermined deductions. You may not realize that you come across almost sounding like you think your daughter’s level is better/harder/etc. (Silver is not the equivalent of level 4 because angles are lower, deductions are fewer, and there are less requirements), but, that doesn’t mean your daughter’s level should be spoken about like it doesn’t matter, as you say has happened. She works hard and deserves her awards.

It would be best for everyone, it seems, If conversations were not gymnastics-centric among the kids or adults. If everyone wants to stay friends, it’s best to just avoid the subject. You can’t control what the other kids say or what their parents/coaches say, but you can help your daughter learn how to deal with these problems. She can be the peacemaker!

 

[cogymmom2dd]

Try not to speak negatively to your daughter about her friends’ gym, as that could be repeated. And even if you think she wouldn’t, she might if she hasn’t already. As much as we hate to admit it, our own kids can be catty and then deny they were or not realize it. Level 2/3 are not easy levels, they have to be competed exactly as scripted with predetermined deductions. You may not realize that you come across almost sounding like you think your daughter’s level is better/harder/etc. (Silver is not the equivalent of level 4 because angles are lower, deductions are fewer, and there are less requirements)

I don’t speak negatively about their gym in front of my kids. My cousin’s child was at this other gym and I experienced what they went through with their daughter and her unreported head injury firsthand, so I am not hearing negative things from random disgruntled gym parents.
She has asked a few times if she can just go compete with her school friends and the answer has always been no and the reasoning is that we have been at our gym for 7 years between Rec classes and team. We have roots planted there and have no reason to leave. I have not told her the story of her cousin nor have I shared it with her friends’ parents. I have 2 kids that compete and my oldest is flourishing so we are not leaving anytime soon.
I do know that level 2/3 are not easy. My 10 year old, who is a currently level 6, competed both levels so I get it. I never tried to compare Silver to level 4. What I meant is that she is already competing skills that are considered up skills for level 2/3 as a silver so she is just as much as gymnast as the rest of her friends that are being downright mean and ignorant. If our gym had a level 3 team, she would be on it, quite possibly even on level 4 based on her current skill set and probably would be thriving on those levels also because she is a perfectionist and is precise and poised.

 

[gymnastmom05]

My daughters school friends aren't gymnast...actually I take that back because one of her closest school friends is a gymnast on an Xcel team. But their friendship doesn't center around gymnastics. They're friends because they find humor with each other. They are on completely different tracks. Friend's gym for Xcel is considered the Rec team. She knows it and doesn't try to compare to my DD and vice versa. My daughter doesn't care one iota that her friend is "only" an Xcel gymnast. They text each other good luck before a meet, say good job when a meet is over or a new skill is achieved. That's it. The rest of their friendship absolutely doesn't include anything gymnastics related. Outside of needing to leave school for gymnastics meets, I'm not sure most teachers even know my daughter spends most of her free time training. She has had a few teachers over the years that have taken an interest and asked her how a meet went, etc but that's been the extent of it.

It could be parents saying stuff about Xcel being lesser than but it could also be the gym. It could be what they're saying as to why they don't go the Xcel to optionals route (which I believe the vast majority of gyms do believe the compulsory levels are there for a reason even if it means an athlete won't score as high). If that's what a parent is being told, that's all they know. It could be the gymnasts are told this (my daughter used to train at a gym with both and the Xcel route was definitely different as far as expectations/ability of skills).

I'm not sure these girls are your daughters friends. It could be that she's still searching for her "people". As my daughter went through elementary school, her friends changed. The ones that did the same sport were closer (cheer/soccer, anything). My daughter was really close to her gymnastics friends because they went to school together, carpooled together and then trained together. They were just together a lot. That slowly changed as girls moved on to other sports but she is still very close to one of the girls (she no longer does a sport) because they formed a friendship NOT based on gymnastics even though that was how their friendship formed.

As far as being friends with parents, I'm incredibly close to a few of my daughters friends. I have one closer friend that has a gymnast daughter that is friends with my daughter. I get along with everyone else but they aren't the people I call when I've had a bad day. I guess I just think you don't have to be friends with parents of your child's friends. Outside of making sure your child is safe if they are in their care, that's as far as it has to go.

I would probably just drop it all. No one should ever be mean but no one should revolve their identity around a sport. Heck, I find it annoying that school sports get all this recognition and praise but my child gets none of that because it's not a school sport. It is what it is. Finding peace with it helps.

 

[mls529]

I was going to say the same thing as gymnastmom05. It could be the moms or it could be coming from the "elite" gym. My DD was at a gym that had both JO and Xcel, and was told my coaches and owners that the only REAL team is JO. Moving "down" to Xcel was a threat the coaches used if a JO gymnast had a block or fear. Now my DD is on Xcel at a different gym and is thriving. We were driving a younger girl from her old gym just last week, and she asked my daughter if she feels bad that there is no real team at her new gym. The little girl used the same language that the old coaches used "real team." My daughter kinda laughed and didn't take it personally (easier to do since she is older and more mature). She knows JO is a harder, more time-intensive track, but doesn't feel bad about her personal path either.

Regardless of where the JO gymnasts are getting information that Xcel is lesser-than, it really doesn't matter. My 8-year old younger daughter plays rec soccer and is quite good by rec standards; her best friend is a star player on a travel team. They support each other, and never feel a need to compare. I don't think my daughter would still be friends with the travel soccer girl if all she did was compare soccer skills (and yes, the travel soccer girl is "better"). At that age, it should be about being a supportive friend, and just playing, having fun. If it becomes competitive at such a young age, that friendship is not going to last long. Encourage some new friendships for sure!

PS - I STRONGLY recommend that you don't let the teacher announce scores. That is a terrible trend to start for gymnasts or any other sport!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I actually talked to her school teacher about this at our last parent teacher conference and I felt like I made her head spin trying to explain the differences between JO compulsory vs XCEL levels and the different skills, etc. In the end, she said that she never hears about gymnastics from my daughter but has noticed that her friends do tend to isolate her sometimes.
She suggested that I email her with her meet scores and placements and she will make an announcement to the class on Monday in hopes that it diffuses any drama with the friends.

Why on earth would your kids and any other kids gymnastics be a concern in the classroom to the point of having an extensive conversation and making announcements in the classroom. There is no reason for it. In fact the teacher should be dialing down Gymnastics talk in school.

And no the solution is not to explain and post more on Social Media. Stop that too. Post less. Did you know you can actual post to certain people. Keep the this is how my kid did posts to family and close friends.

You can’t compare JO and Xcel, including scores, they are 2 different programs.

You daughter needs to find a new tribe.

As far as the other girls go. This is what’s called relational aggression, it’s bullying. It’s clique-y, queen bee stuff. And the teacher should be squashing that nonsense.

Lots of information out there, tools that can be used. The book Little Girls Can Be Mean is a good place to start for you.

And American Girl, Smart Girls Guides, have lots of age appropriate information out there for your daughter.

 

[GymAir]

Oh my. Please don’t have the meet scores announced. That will make things SO MUCH worse. No.

The girls could be mean because they truly think they’re better, or because they’re insecure. Since you say your daughter is scoring higher, and the troubles come after your daughter goes to school excited to talk to them about her meets, I’m definitely thinking they feel insecure. Do you see why announcing her scores would be bad? That will just make the other girls more jealous.

Until she gets to the next school and can make new friends, I would encourage her to not talk about her meets with her friends. If they bring it up and she must, tell her to stick to saying things like “I felt like I did a better vault this time”, “I’m getting less nervous on beam”, etc. Definitely no sharing of scores or placements. And it probably would be a good idea to set up a selective post group on Facebook like Deleted member 18037 suggested.

 

[TumbleTimes4]

Having the teacher announce her scores or placement will not make the Xcel program more legitimate to those girls. They are going to believe either their parents or the gym, wherever they get their information from about the Xcel program, particularly if their scores are lower than your daughters. It makes them feel better about their own insecurities. It will only make the situation worse. Also no matter how many articles you share online, you aren’t going to change the mind of the parents either. You chose your gym and your program for a reason and they did theirs. Let it go.

 

[CuriousCate]

Sounds like your daughter needs to make some new friends. Not being harsh. Just truthful. And hopefully the new friends won’t do gymnastics, so it won’t be an issue. None of my kids teachers ever knew my kids scores, sure wouldn’t go there with that one. It will get real ugly then...I am sorry she is going through this, but it is a good life lesson to learn at an early age. And she doesn’t need to prove herself (not do you). Just be happy for her with how she is doing.

I agree with this. My 4th grader is a level 7 and has 3 classmates that compete together on Xcel Silver. The JO coaches have historically been known to put down the Xcel program to the JO kids and yet my DD would NEVER EVER say anything negative about her classmates, their team, or their skill level. Because she and I would have serious words and she would have consequences if she ever pulled that sort of crap. She sees gym as common ground with those girls, regardless of skill level. This is likely a parenting issue that will not be fixed by the teacher, but by better parenting for those girls. Those parents probably share your FB videos with their kids and then use the Xcel vs. JO comparison to explain away her better scores and skills. Just counsel your daughter to keep gym to herself even if she continues to choose to hang with those girls. Teach her to ask how their meet went without probing for scores and without expecting the question in return. And advise her that if they DO ask about her meets, that she give a global assessment rather than breaking it down score-wise. I.e. "It was great - super fun. I loved the leo/sweatshirt/cup we got!"

 

[CuriousCate]

I agree with this. My 4th grader is a level 7 and has 3 classmates that compete together on Xcel Silver. The JO coaches have historically been known to put down the Xcel program to the JO kids and yet my DD would NEVER EVER say anything negative about her classmates, their team, or their skill level. Because she and I would have serious words and she would have consequences if she ever pulled that sort of crap. She sees gym as common ground with those girls, regardless of skill level. This is likely a parenting issue that will not be fixed by the teacher, but by better parenting for those girls. Those parents probably share your FB videos with their kids and then use the Xcel vs. JO comparison to explain away her better scores and skills. Just counsel your daughter to keep gym to herself even if she continues to choose to hang with those girls. Teach her to ask how their meet went without probing for scores and without expecting the question in return. And advise her that if they DO ask about her meets, that she give a global assessment rather than breaking it down score-wise. I.e. "It was great - super fun. I loved the leo/sweatshirt/cup we got!"

To clarify, at their gym...not making a universal comment about JO coaches.

 

[GymDadWA]

Now, my issues lie with the parents of the girls, as they are likely planting the seed in their kids’ heads about not being a real gymnast. Does anyone have any articles or links that kind of shed a positive light on the XCEL program that maybe I can share via social media?
When I’ve tried to explain XCEL to her friends’ parents, many of them don’t realize that XCEL even exists because it isn’t an option for them at their gym (and quite honestly, there are a few of her friends who I think would benefit from XCEL).
Or any other suggestions on what I can do to stop the nonsense and let my kid feel confident for more than one day after a meet before she gets shot down by her ‘friends’ at age 8?!?!

There are a few really well written articles on XCEL as well as some youtube videos talking about it, but do the parents of the other gymnasts really care? You sort of have to realize that you are going against the grain with that group to the point where you sort of are cheating the system that they are buying into with their time and wallets. Privates aren't cheap, so if you are trying to tell them that they don't need to do privates, commit to JO hours and discipline, and their gymnast is going to end up in the same place, that might not be something they want to hear or are going to believe you about.

CuriousCate's advice was spot on, their is a time and place to brag about her accomplishments but with those JO gymnasts or their families is not one of them. Is their nobody else in your DD's class or school that is also from the same gym as you?

 

[808GymDad]

My DD started out as an XS as well at age 8. I felt it was great as she started out older and got to work more advanced skills. She also scored 36's all season and even posted a 38+ at a meet. By the end of the year she was doing level 5/6 skills and won the State championship and placed 3rd AA at regions.

Since then to cross into JO our gym required a full year at L4. While it felt like a step back for my daughter, it improved her form drastically. She dominated all year in L4 winning state again.

This year she mocked out of L5 sweeping the meet with 1st in all events and AA and is competing L6 with a L7 routine and doing well.

I tell you this because it is all little girl drama that you are experiencing. My DD tells her sister she is not a "real" gymnast because she only does rec.

My DD has had a lot of drama in gym and I tell her not to worry about it and just prove it with her skills and ability. She has passed many gymnasts who went the traditional way (pre team, L4, etc) including her cousin.

Be proud of her and tell her to be proud. The path doesn't matter as much as the experience. One warning though having done both programs, and it may be different at your gym, Xcel seems to allow more advanced skills at the expense of form. The L4 season while somewhat boring for my DD payed dividends in fixing form.

Xcel viewed by most JO parents and gymnasts, is lesser. I personally believe that is not true and my daughter is proof.

Don't defend your decision/path. Enjoy it. If she works hard, she can beat those "friends" at school when she transitions over. Jeck she might even transition to L6 before they reach it in JO.