Parents Girls not showing up

[MamaofEnS]

My dd goes to a gym that requires the girls to attend a 45 min dance practice every Saturday. They are assigned a certain time to go. Consistantly, my dd is the only one who shows up at her time. She joins other groups that are much younger than her, but no one from her group shows up. I asked if she could go with her teammates (same level), but was told no, she had to go at her assigned time, and that all the girls must go. The other girls were reminded to go, but they still don't. My dd used to love going to dance, but now she hates it.

Any advice?

 

[cathiann]

What exactly does she hate about it? Did they say why she couldn't switch times? Seems odd that they'd put her in a different group from the rest of her teammates! How much different would the other time be? I'm wondering if a little white lie would help--telling the coaches you can't make that time anymore and that's why you need to switch?? (I know--jump all over me now for suggesting lying LOL! But I think being so rigid about not letting her switch is just silly).

 

[gymnut1]

I would try being direct with a senior coach. Tell them your dd is the only one showing up and because this means she is in with much younger children she dreads it and is beginning to hate it. Say you are not prepared to be the only one to come and unless they allow her to join a more suitable class or make the others come you will stop bringing her. I think you need to go high with this in a polite way as the peeps at the top who make the rules may not have got the information that the others aren't coming.

 

[MamaofEnS]

Thank you so much for your responses.

The reason why she is now hating dance is because the instructor now gears it toward the younger and more inexperienced girls. My dd has been taking this class from the same instructor for three years.

I did talk to the owner/coach of the gym. She was the one that said she could not switch, and reminded the other girls to go (which they ignored).

The owner certainly knows about the situation. A few months ago, my dd was the only one who showed up at all (from about 2 dozen girls). The owner than took my dd and gave her a mini-private on beam, since that was what she was coaching, and the dance instructor talked on her cell phone.

Maybe I should talk to the dance instructor?

 

[gymnut1]

That is not a bad idea to speak to the dance teacher- maybe she could use your dd as assistant helper or demonstrator. Or remember to give her something slightly harder to do.

 

[emorymom]

I would send the head coach an email.

I would say something like this -- to follow up on our discussion of (day), over the X Saturdays since our discussion, my daughter has still been the only girl out of Y girls in her (age group?) attending the mandatory Saturday dance class. As a result she is reviewing material with the younger girls that she has substantially mastered, and feels very out of place.

I would like to meet with you to discuss enrolling DD in an outside dance class on Saturdays or another non-gym day that would fulfill your program requirement. I will research possible programs before the meeting. Are you available at (day time)?

Now -- the point is not that you want to do dance outside of gym, but that you want to approach the HC with a palatable outside solution to the problem. There is something unspoken holding HC back from slamming the non-attenders or from letting your daughter dance with the girls of her level. If you don't go at that directly, you may find she changes her mind and does either force attendance or offer your daughter to switch into the class with her level. Or she just releases her from the requirement of the in-house dance class.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I'm confused because you say they are putting her with the younger girls because she is the only one of her teammates, so does that mean there were supposed to be 2 classes going on? Where is the instructor who is supposed to teach your DD and the girls who are not show up? I would approach the HC or owner again, and insist that they find an alternative that is more suitable for your DD unless they plan to teach her differently from the rest of the (younger) kids.

 

[NotAMom]

Not unusually for gymnasts (especially the lower level ones) not taking a liking to dance, especially when it comes to ballet. In fact, I think those who hate dance that requires concentration probably hate it much more than intense conditioning.

Our gym also has a dance hour each week and hardly anyone is interested (with exception of my own who are/were dancers). They tried reminders at first, then they made suggestions, then after that didn't work they demanded. Too no surprise, the mandate was not too successful either. What they ended up doing was to put the dance segment right in the middle of practice. So, if you don't dance, you don't practice. That sorta worked.

 

[MamaofEnS]

Thank you so much for all of your input.

I will try to clarify the situation. For some of the girls, the dance is during their regular workout, so they only miss if they don't come to workout. These are the TOPS girls, who are level 7's, age 9. Also having dance at the same time are new level 5's. Usually only the younger ones come to class, the older ones do not show up. Finally, is my dd's group, which is a combination of new level 6's, and non competing level 7's. Like I said, none of these girls come at all. My dd is a teenager, and is at least 4 years older than the next oldest girl who comes.

She does like dance, so I do think I will talk to the dance instructor. There is another class right before hers that has competing and non-competing level 7's. That is the class I think she should be in. Those girls are her teammates. My dd asked me not to go to the HC again, so I won't unless she changes her mind.

I wish the other girls in her group would just come, or she would move up. That would make her so happy.

MamaofEnS

 

[NotAMom]

Don't worry. Although not fun to be dancing by herself, her good work ethics is probably sticking up like a sore thumb. Coaches like any good authorities notice and remember these things. You will have plenty of opportunities to cash in those chips. Of course, I am not suggesting that you child did it for anything but doing the right thing,