Parents giving up other activities for gymnastics

[Panda-girl's Mom]

My oldest daughter's (she does not do gymnastics) dress rehersal for her dance recitial was tonight. My youngest daughter who is the 8 year old gymnast was very bummed out. This is the first year she is not dancing in the since she was 3. It is a small studio I have known the teacher for years her mother was my dance teacher but when it came time to sign my daughter up it conflicted with gymnastics. My daughter just made the team and the practice days and competition days were the same time as dance. We went back and forth but my daughter choose gymnastics. I later signed her up at another dance studio for hip-hop she likes it but it is not the same. Alot of the other parents and kids came up up to her tonight and said you're not dancing. I quess alot of them were like me but they have no clue the amount of committment competitive gymnastics is. After my daughter left she said I want to do dance there again next year. Then I said but what about gymnastics and she said but I don't want to give up gymnastics. So we are back again at choosing. I really do not want to influence her since but I can't help thinking that gymnastics is on such a higher caliber than this 1 hour dance class and recital. Most of the time when we have this discussion she eventually decides that she is willing to give up the other activities for gymnastics which I know she truely loves. I just can not help feeling like maybe I am doing the wrong thing by letting her concentrate so much of her time on gymnastics than other activities ecspecailly when other parents look at me and say she's not dancing this year.

 

[Ingymmom]

My dd has always taken dance & really did not want to trade one for the other. She wanted gymnastics but she also wanted to take ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, leaps and turns, hip-hop, etc. - you name it she wanted it. We compromised and I agreed to a ballet class even though it conflicted with gymnastics. We just missed a night of gymnastics. Later she added a jazz class as well. She did not have to give up dance or gym & she loves it! She also performs in our local youth ballet twice a year and takes a whole week off from the gym both times. Especially at the compulsory level if the child wants they should be able to add other activities that they enjoy - serious gym come later.

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

Missing a night of practice for dance is definitely not a bad thing. Dance actually helps with gymnastics since 90% of their floor and beam routines are dance. Coming from a mom whose dd is dance-ly challenged, being able to dance really is a huge benefit.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Unfortunatly that is a rough lesson in life that gymnasts have to learn at a very young age, they can't do everything and they must make choices and decide what they want. Perhaps next year the dance class will not clash with her gymnastics training. I would be careful about having her miss a night in the gym, at some gyms it may not matter so much but at others gyms it might.

Many gyms design their schedule based on the idea that the kids will be there for all classes, missing a class everyweek might mean missing something very important in their training schedule. Other gyms will not allow kids on the team or to compete unless they are doing full team hours. Have a look around and find out what is expected at your own gym.

 

[Ingymmom]

Unfortunatly that is a rough lesson in life that gymnasts have to learn at a very young age, they can't do everything and they must make choices and decide what they want. Perhaps next year the dance class will not clash with her gymnastics training. I would be careful about having her miss a night in the gym, at some gyms it may not matter so much but at others gyms it might.

Many gyms design their schedule based on the idea that the kids will be there for all classes, missing a class everyweek might mean missing something very important in their training schedule. Other gyms will not allow kids on the team or to compete unless they are doing full team hours. Have a look around and find out what is expected at your own gym.

Taking a day off really should vary by gymnastic program. Many programs are 8-16 hours a week at these levels and usually leave a few days open where the child can enjoy other activities if they want & they don't have to choose between their favorites.

I should clarify that, In our case, our gymnasts go 6 days a week which was too many for my young gymnast. Our practices consist of the same schedule everyday so are basically interchangeable. I made arrangements prior to the time commitment with the coaches to come only 4 of the 6 days - allowing us to take our night "off". I think I remember the original poster saying that her dd now only training for L5 would be going many hours a week as well. Maybe in her dd's case she could take a night off from training for dance as well.

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

I have talked to my girls about this, the know it is coming
I told my oldest that there is going to be a day where she will have to pick oneover the other (I did tell her cost is a factor but mostly the time constraint )
I wll try hard to not have to make them choose but I didnt want it to be a shock when it does happen.

they also do dance and soccer (Soccer has not been an issue till this year when the practice is the same night as gymnastics but they changed soccer to only sunday preactice before the game so we dodged that one and she was happy!)

 

[Livinatthegym]

Unfortunatly that is a rough lesson in life that gymnasts have to learn at a very young age, they can't do everything and they must make choices and decide what they want.

What Aussie coach said.

What we found was that at level 4, we could easily keep dance or soccer or another activity in the mix, as long as it was a rec type activity and not a "serious". At levels 5 and 6, maybe we could do something else, but it was a lot harder. Optional levels . . . only if we wanted to kill ourselves. Dd1 tried doing color guard. During the 3 month band seaon, it meant missing practices every time there was a home game, missing "optional" Saturday practices when there were band competitions, and coming late to practice one day a week. She found that even with that short 3 month season, at optional levels, she couldn't do it. Sure, she competed well as a level 8 (placed at regionals on 2 events and in the AA), but she wasn't able to work ahead at all and probably couldn't have been a level 9 this year. Then there was the issue of getting to school at 6:30 am for band practice, going all day in classes (no study halls) and then going straight to gym. Kid couldn't even start her homework before 9:00 pm.

You got your dd in a dance class this year, which is a really great compromise. It wasn't THE class she wanted, but she still got to do another acitivy. If your daughter thinks she's in gymnastics for the long haul, she does need to get used to the idea that she won't be able to do/try everything she wants. For dd1, wanting to try other things is what finally pushed her out of the sport at 15 (that and chronic knee pain).

 

[mariposa]

This is a hard one, but I agree that it is sometimes a life lesson that must be learned. I am a firm believer in not overscheduling kids. I have struggled with even letting her do gymnastics. My DD would love to do dance, soccer, karate, etc, etc. but at this age, I don't think she needs to be doing something EVERY night. 3 nights a week is plenty and she always chooses gymnastics.

Even if money was no object, I want her to be home as much as possible right now. If she happens to keep going with gymnastics, the time commitment will increase and we will deal with that, but I have limited the evening activities to gymnastics. Family time is important and since she only sees her dad in the evenings, I have set that limit firmly, no other evening activities during the week.

We do have time in the day for other activities, so that has helped me a lot with the decision to let her do gymnastics 3 nights a week. She does girl scouts and will do choir and possibly drama this year. And she has more than enough time for unstructured play, which I think kids at her age (almost 6) need A LOT of.

I haven't gotten the "It's not fair," argument yet, but if it comes up she will definitely hear how getting to do gymnastics is a privilege and that she is lucky that we are able to provide it for her. Making hard choices is a part of life and sometimes life isn't fair.

 

[Billy]

My DD is running into this issue a little bit this summer. The church does a music camp in the evenings for one week in July. DD did it last year but this year it interferes with practice. I asked her if she wanted to take the week off from practice to be able to do the music camp and she immediately said "No, no!" I think I"ll approach the subject again when it gets closer to time for camp. She could go to camp on the days she doesn't have practice or maybe she could miss just one practice that week or something. But for right now, she is adamant that she doesn't want to miss practice.

 

[Ingymmom]

"What we found was that at level 4, we could easily keep dance or soccer or another activity in the mix, as long as it was a rec type activity and not a "serious". At levels 5 and 6, maybe we could do something else, but it was a lot harder. Optional levels . . . only if we wanted to kill ourselves. Dd1 tried doing color guard. During the 3 month band seaon, it meant missing practices every time there was a home game, missing "optional" Saturday practices when there were band competitions, and coming late to practice one day a week. She found that even with that short 3 month season, at optional levels, she couldn't do it. Sure, she competed well as a level 8 (placed at regionals on 2 events and in the AA), but she wasn't able to work ahead at all and probably couldn't have been a level 9 this year. Then there was the issue of getting to school at 6:30 am for band practice, going all day in classes (no study halls) and then going straight to gym. Kid couldn't even start her homework before 9:00 pm."

This reiterates what I said in my post. At the compulsory level it is possible to still have other activities. There are many gymnasts that continue dance (nastia comes to mind) through their optional years as well & it does not change or diminsh their level of commitment.

"You got your dd in a dance class this year, which is a really great compromise. It wasn't THE class she wanted, but she still got to do another acitivy. If your daughter thinks she's in gymnastics for the long haul, she does need to get used to the idea that she won't be able to do/try everything she wants. For dd1, wanting to try other things is what finally pushed her out of the sport at 15 (that and chronic knee pain)"

My dd got the class she wanted - just not ALL the classes she wanted, we compromised & she got her 1st picks. It worked for us this year. And can possibly work for us again next year. After that, well, we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it. If a young child is heartbroken over giving up one for the other and there are no financial concerns behind the issue, then I see no reason to try and work it out. My dd did not suffer in the gym for her "missed" time compared to her teammates. In fact she is one of the few that still loves coming to every practice & gives 100% with ease.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I agree with most of the replies, my daughter is adament that she does not want to give up gymnastics. There are many other dance studios in our area but I just happen to really like this one teacher she gives the girls such confidence and many still attend in their 20's. The one good thing is if she ever quits gymnastics she could always go back there her flexibility and skills in dance are advanced due to the numerous hours of gymnastics. After the summer she is going to be possibly training for level 5 which is more hours so I really do not see her doing much other activities. It is just hard because my older daughter who is not as focused on one sport gets to experience more things so I feel bad that younger daughter can not do this. But younger daughter does not want to give up gymnastics or switch to a less intensive gym that trains less hours. I am hoping when she gets older if she really wants to give up gymnastics to do other things she will let me know because I do not want to decide for her.

 

[hunde2]

DD did rec soccer when she first started gym.That was when she was 6 years old and only went 1 day/wk.Now she goes 4 days/wk right after school and does not get home until 08:30 at night.She knows it is a big commitment and went through a phase were she wanted to do another sport.She now realizes that gymnastics takes all her time and if she wants to succeed she can not skip any practice.She skips gym on occasion for birthdayparties etc.She also knows that it is very important to go to all practices during competition season and is not upset if she can't do anything else.We decided to give homeschooling a try.This will give her some time to do other things to.

 

[gym law mom]

I don't feel an 8yo should be restricted to just 1 activity if possible. Talk with her about leaving the door open to a dance class depending on which level she'll be competing at come fall. At both gyms, my gymmie has been at, kids have come to practice late or left early(usually only 1 night a week though) so they can do another activity whether its sports, church, school related etc.

Once you know her practice schedule for the fall, see what you can work out. She may just need that 1 hour/week outlet doing dance.

 

[Blackie6]

We really haven't given up much yet. I have three kids and they all have hectic schedules but because I love that they try new things I am willing to work it out. My daughter does about 10.5 hrs/week as a L4. We sqeezed in Girls Scouts, CCD classes and teener ball. She took dance a couple years but once she made the team she wanted to quit dance. I think she liked the dance class itself but not that they spent 1/2 year preparing for the dance recital and she always HATED the foofy dance costumes. Now, CCD, GS and Teener ball is done and we start Dive team on Monday. They have a ton of gymnasts on the dive team at all levels so they are super great about practice, and offer morning and evening dive practices. I am thankful that all my kids activities are in town and within a couple mile radius too so sometimes (like today) I bring her to the gym for a while, run her to teenerball for an hour and then run back for the last hour of gym. There was really only one thing I said "no" to all year and that was an after school art class. Only because it was on Thursdays and she gets a ton of work to do and has a Spelling test every Fri and had to get it all done before gym at 4:30.

I guess it all has to do with what level your DD is. I think at the lower levels there can be more flexibility with activities. I think by the time the girls reach the higher levels they either commit to just the gym or end up leaving or switching to less intensive programs. If she wants to do dance & you can sqeeze it, in I say go for it. If doing the recital is too much then maybe she can do the class and opt of of the recital stuff?

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

We have always made our oldest DD "choose" since she was 7 yrs old when she was asked to join the level 4 team. She was, and is, very committed to gymnastics. She has NEVER taken time off to do dance, soccer, basketball or any of the other thnigs her teammates did. She did Girl Scouts and CCD on days where there was no gymnastics. My little DD has never even sampled those other activities as she was practically born into the gym, lol.

However, at 11.5, my oldest is feeling that social pull of her friends and constantly having to say "I can't do xxx because I have gym" was starting to wear on her. So..... now I have worked it out so my girls can do town cheering with their school friends in the fall. Older DD is training Level 8 and my 7 yr old will likely repeat Level 5. Both of those seasons start in Jan while cheering runs Aug-Dec. I made arrangements with the cheering commissioners that they will only have to miss a minimal amount of gymnastics as long as they know their cheer routines. I made the girls (esp. older one) agree that when she is at the gym, gymnastics gets 200% of her efforts. They were both excited to learn yesterday that they both made the competiton cheer squad as well.

I think it all depends on the inividual child, whether they can enjoy another activity, while being committed to gymnastics. I'll report back later this summer to let you know how it's going for us.

 

[catesmom]

Let me throw just a little suggeston into the mix. You have said that your dance instructor is someone that you have known for a long time. You are probably quite comfortable talking to her. I would bring your concerns to here now in the summer before she makes up her fall schedules. Many times classes switch days or times. Without suggesting that she schedule a class just to accomodate your dd, let her know how much your dd would like to do dance with her but her schedule is XYZ.

We are blessed because we have a full dance studio in the same building as the gym. The instructor makes every effort to schedule classes for the gymnasts when they have an off day for gym. The coaches even co-operate with silly things like pictures, or special practices. DD is allowed to go to practice, run over to the studio, do her thing and come back to practice. The dance instructor co-operates by making the Christmas recital a small production, as we are going into meet season, and the spring recital the big one, when gym is less intense.

As dd is now a 7 it means that she has activities 5 days a week, but we consider the one hour dance class a day off compared to gym. Just a thought that might help.

Good luck

 

[margymmom]

I agree with the other posters that if you can fit it in and your daughter is happy, go for it. But I also think that you should not feel guilty telling your daughter "no" if it is too much of a strain on you or your family. I have two gymnasts and one competitive swimmer, and all of the kids take music lessons in addition to their sport of choice. I shuttle kids from 3:15 til 9 M- F and it is all I can do to keep the car going in the right direction! My oldest gymnast mentioned today, after a summer league swim team practice, that she might really enjoy year round swimming but that she couldn't fit it in with gymnastics. I figure she'll have another avenue to explore if she ever tires of gymnastics.