Parents Growth mindset help

[A's Mom]

My 9-year-old L4 is on a great path and continually improving...except for vault. It's now at a point where she believes she's just not good at it, and no matter what she tries, she'll score poorly and that's just that. One of the things I love about gymnastics is how it instills a growth mindset in the kids, even if they don't know it. ("I'm not good at this new skill yet, but I'll work my hardest and keep trying, and then I'll get it, just like I've done before.") But her attitude around vault is not at all growth right now. I'm worried it's at least partially her vault coach, who is, of course, the gym owner. She's very demanding and yells at them a lot. A compliment from her is something you earn, but now my kid just feels like she's never good enough, and never will be. So I need advice on two things:
1. I'd like to get her a couple vault privates with another coach. I don't want to offend the gym owner. I don't have time for that. But my kid doesn't respond to her, so privates with her would be a waste of time. How do I tactfully ask for that?
2. I want to help my kid believe in herself again. What worked for you?

 

[OrchidZ]

Honestly, one-on-one mental training. We tried it all. Privates. Motivational/Goal books. Meditation. Oils. The ONLY things that helped were a positive gym environment and one-on-one mental training. My biggest regret is that we didn't start it sooner. I did try, but we had the hardest time finding someone who was a good fit.

 

[GreggP]

Sorry to hear this. It might help some if you can help your daughter get to the truth behind her coach/owner. Coach is yelling/demanding, so your daughter begins to interpret that as "I'm not good enough". Truth: it has nothing to do with her. The coach most likely cares and sees potential, or wouldn’t bother reacting that way. And, deep down the coach has her own issues and perceptions that make her believe that is the best way to motivate. It means nothing about your daughter’s actual abilities or skills; now or in the future.

With the self-belief, see if she would be interested in creating a confidence journal. Something she can write down all her past successes and achievements, big and small, even outside gymnastics. And add to it regularly. Confidence is primarily built upon success, or the feeling of success. Having a tangible tool that she can regularly read and connect with, even before practices, can help get her in the right mindset. Hope this helps some.

 

[momofsushi]

for my daughter it is beam. She was convinced she was not good at it ( partly thrue) ans acted like it was a fact that would never change. Well, at L7 she hit a wall at her first met with a lot of fears. I let a coach dealt with the gymnastic part but bring her to a mental preparator ( ? Wright word in english?) . She worked a few meetings with making images, words and understanding the mental part ( cant expect to improve if you have such negative thinking). She has improved in gym but the big improvement is that she stopped being so negative about beam ( still no her favorite event). It was worth the investment and will probably be usefull for more other life challenges!