Parents How to help a Level 2 who is “afraid” of new skills

[jp3223]

My daughter is an 8.5 yr old level 2 gymnast. This past season was her first year on team after being recommended to join from one of her recreational instructors. She has taken to most of the level 2 skills well, but was always behind her current teams development. Her coach is holding her back while the rest of her team moves on to level 3, she is obviously heartbroken but I don’t disagree that she isn’t ready, and won’t be ready by the end of the summer deadline barring a miracle. Coach gave me a list of 7 things, that she needs to be able to do to move on…. Beam handstand and quarter turn dismount, round off back handspring, and bar squat on/dismount to name a few. All of these terrify her, when asked why “idk they just do”. She will however do a back handspring on the tramp, just no where else.

I’ve started working with her on a bravery journal, and visualization, etc. This girl absolutely LOVES gymnastics, and works so hard, but she just can’t get past the fear aspect of it and i’m concerned this will end her gymnastics “career” before it even begins.

Can any of you offer some advice to her and me??

 

[ORgymmom]

For my child who was very similar, it took different coaches to get her out of that stuck place. The season changed and they swapped coaches around who didn’t have preconceived notions of who she was and the fresh start took her from being the one who coaches said was scared to the one they used as an example for new skills.

Not saying that’s the case, but you might want to poke around and talk to your daughter a bit more to see if there’s something else to it. For mine, it was a chicken and egg situation so i couldn’t say how the fear and blocks started but I know that how the coaches talked about them and treated my daughter definitely prolonged the problem.

 

[jp3223]

For my child who was very similar, it took different coaches to get her out of that stuck place. The season changed and they swapped coaches around who didn’t have preconceived notions of who she was and the fresh start took her from being the one who coaches said was scared to the one they used as an example for new skills.

Not saying that’s the case, but you might want to poke around and talk to your daughter a bit more to see if there’s something else to it. For mine, it was a chicken and egg situation so i couldn’t say how the fear and blocks started but I know that how the coaches talked about them and treated my daughter definitely prolonged the problem.

I appreciate the reply. We have thought about taking her to a new gym, she has been with her current one since she began parent tot- 6 years ago so it’s tough to move. The coach she has this year will be the same coach next year if she stays…

 

[ORgymmom]

I appreciate the reply. We have thought about taking her to a new gym, she has been with her current one since she began parent tot- 6 years ago so it’s tough to move. The coach she has this year will be the same coach next year if she stays…

That sounds like a reason to explore other options. It could be a move or a switch, but it could also be less dramatic and just asking for a 1:1 with another coach at the gym. My daughter got over her very first block because a clinic had been scheduled but her coach was sick. Another coach for the optionals team stepped in and did all new drills and progressions. The different approach snapped my daughter out of whatever stuck place she was in and her block slowly faded away over the course of the next week.

 

[NutterButter]

This was my DD!!

How long had she been in rec before joining team? Maybe she just needs more time to feel more confident in a team setting where the demands are different from weekly rec classes. With that said, you could be seeing valuable insight into your DD that may be a continuous part of her journey in gymnastics. As far as advice...things that worked for my DD were a strong relationship with the coach (she did immensely better when she knew the coach believed in her vs showed frequent frustration with her fears), visualization, having some control/input on her training (this is tricky because training is usually thoughtful and based on progressions while maintaining best safety practices so you don't necessarily want the athlete driving this).

 

[jp3223]

This was my DD!!

How long had she been in rec before joining team? Maybe she just needs more time to feel more confident in a team setting where the demands are different from weekly rec classes. With that said, you could be seeing valuable insight into your DD that may be a continuous part of her journey in gymnastics. As far as advice...things that worked for my DD were a strong relationship with the coach (she did immensely better when she knew the coach believed in her vs showed frequent frustration with her fears), visualization, having some control/input on her training (this is tricky because training is usually thoughtful and based on progressions while maintaining best safety practices so you don't necessarily want the athlete driving this).

She was in rec for 3-4 years.

What do you mean : “With that said, you could be seeing valuable insight into your DD that may be a continuous”

 

[NutterButter]

Just that this could be a personality trait for her - to be cautious/hesitant. And that as she progresses, she will continue to face fears with skills. At some point every gymnast, if they stay in the sport long enough, has to deal with fears. Most of my daughter’s teammates didn’t experience fear until L8. Meanwhile, my DD was scared of doing cartwheels on beam as an Xcel Silver. Each year brought new skills and with that something else she was scared of. She learned to deal with this years before her teammates. Some kids are just more cautious.

 

[jp3223]

Just that this could be a personality trait for her - to be cautious/hesitant. And that as she progresses, she will continue to face fears with skills. At some point every gymnast, if they stay in the sport long enough, has to deal with fears. Most of my daughter’s teammates didn’t experience fear until L8. Meanwhile, my DD was scared of doing cartwheels on beam as an Xcel Silver. Each year brought new skills and with that something else she was scared of. She learned to deal with this years before her teammates. Some kids are just more cautious.

Ah, thank you for the clarification. That is certainly her personality in some things, and why I’m hoping to find tools to help so that we can proactively address them as they arise which as you mentioned will continuously happen most likely.

She is one to never give up, literally will refuse to leave the floor even after multiple failures, the fear just blocks her from doing certain things.

 

[Coach Kate]

Just that this could be a personality trait for her - to be cautious/hesitant. And that as she progresses, she will continue to face fears with skills. At some point every gymnast, if they stay in the sport long enough, has to deal with fears. Most of my daughter’s teammates didn’t experience fear until L8. Meanwhile, my DD was scared of doing cartwheels on beam as an Xcel Silver. Each year brought new skills and with that something else she was scared of. She learned to deal with this years before her teammates. Some kids are just more cautious.

And they can totally overcome it! I coached a level 3 who was afraid of everything. Now she is a level 10 and even dipping a toe into junior elite! I haven't coached her in years and I don't coach anymore at all but following her results makes me so proud.

 

[jp3223]

And they can totally overcome it! I coached a level 3 who was afraid of everything. Now she is a level 10 and even dipping a toe into junior elite! I haven't coached her in years and I don't coach anymore at all but following her results makes me so proud.

Thanks Coach. Beyond what was mentioned above, can you offer any tips, tricks, etc on how I can help her?

 

[Gymnastics15]

A big part of this, is finding her a coach that is good with helping kids with their nerves!

 

[jp3223]

Makes absolute sense thank you

 

[Coach Kate]

Thanks Coach. Beyond what was mentioned above, can you offer any tips, tricks, etc on how I can help her?

Find ways to build confidence in things they're doing well - praise them for effort even in the small things. Give them opportunities to lead. Do a lot of drills and progressions. Build a relationship.