Parents How to move on… advice needed

[NutterButter]

Treat this like a business transaction. Use facts, no emotion. "Hi there, I am writing to let you know that effective XXX date, DD will be leaving the gym. We truly appreciate all of the time that you have devoted to her training. She will compete at XXX meet and YYY meet because those are indeed paid for in full and it is important to see the commitments through. Then, effective XXX date, we would like to terminate her tuition / training costs (however you refer to it). Please let me know if I need to sign anything or if this email will suffice as notice. Again, thank you for all of your hard work - it is appreciated."

There is 0 reason to elaborate, get into the weeds or give feedback. State the facts and move on. If they ask, you can just say "We feel that it is in DD best interest to train elsewhere at this point." Less is more here.

This has the potential to backfire with the gym saying no and essentially showing the kid the door. It’s cruel but it’s happens quite a bit. And I think the OP want to avoid this scenario.

OP - are you making a change from one competitive organization to another (for example do both gyms compete under USAG). I might take a different approach depending on your answer.

 

[AAAinNOLA]

This has the potential to backfire with the gym saying no and essentially showing the kid the door. It’s cruel but it’s happens quite a bit. And I think the OP want to avoid this scenario.

OP - are you making a change from one competitive organization to another (for example do both gyms compete under USAG). I might take a different approach depending on your answer.

Well in that case you move to the new gym and miss 2 meets. I am not sure what there is to salvage here if you are leaving. It's like leaving a job. You know it is a risk - they may say see ya later. But that's true regardless of how you say it. That risk doesn't go away in this scenario. I think it would be worse for the info to get back to the old gym via the grapevine myself. The new gym shouldn't really care how it's handled as they already know you are coming so they are the stakeholder that matters here. At least IMO if you are going to do this mid-season which is already underway.

 

[Huskymama32]

This has the potential to backfire with the gym saying no and essentially showing the kid the door. It’s cruel but it’s happens quite a bit. And I think the OP want to avoid this scenario.

OP - are you making a change from one competitive organization to another (for example do both gyms compete under USAG). I might take a different approach depending on your answer.

We are making a change from outside of USAG to USAG!

 

[NutterButter]

Ahhh! In that case I would write a much sweeter, less formal email being overly gracious for the time spent with them and I probably would hold off on sending it for a little while longer. I wouldn't mention that she's going to another gym.

 

[gymgal]

If the current gym knows that you are looking elswhere and they are fine with her competing those last two meets, then I would just give them an end date through email. If they do not yet know, that's a tougher call. Like others have said - if you give them a heads up, which would be the proper way, you risk them showing you the door immediately and you lose out on those two meets/fees, etc. But in all honesty, it is just as likely that the current gym is going to be informed of it at some point, if your gym community is very small and most owners/coaches know each other. And that is even a worse case as they will be upset you weren't up front with them.

Given how small your gym appears to be (only one child competing at that lower level), I would be inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt and tell them your plans. Explain that you are doing it to switch over to USAG and have a larger team atmosphere and that you wish them the best in their program.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I have to say, as a gym owner I am really surprised at the responses. The idea that you can’t have open an honest communication without fear of reprisals is concerning.

If it was my gym, I would appreciate an honest email, letting me know the reasons behind you leaving. Obviously you have no requirement to do so and you don’t owe them anything.

But it would give me a chance to just relook at these issues and address them at my gym before other gymnasts left.

 

[WV Gym Mom]

Not sure what area you are in, but the gym community around me is pretty tight, and if the gyms are anywhere near each other, odds are the original gym already knows you are training at another gym, and is just waiting for you to tell them. I can't imagine them not knowing.

 

[Aussie_coach]

In Australia if a gymnast goes to another gym the previous gym will have to approve it, so we do always know.

Once a gymnast is registered at any gym in Australia, then when they go to register at another gym (even 20 years later) the new gym needs to apply to the old gym for a transfer.

The old gym can deny the transfer if there are outstanding fees owing or if they are still training at the old gym (in which case you apply for dual membership).

 

[bookworm]

If you are already training in a new gym and nobody has ratted you out, be thankful and move on. From the description of the goings on at the old gym, you will be shown the door as soon as you mention going elsewhere.

As one who has been there , done that, what you do now is send a polite email informing them that "Susie will no longer be attending X gym as of 3/8/2023. Thank you for your time and good luck with your meet season. Regards, Susie's mother" ...nothing else...no "we want to finish meets we signed up for with you " because that's not going to happen. End it now and be done with it.