Parents How would you handle with 5 yo?

[Neveranathlete]

Hi all,

Many of you gave great advice with my DD. A few months ago we were looking for a new gym. We found one. Had my then 4 yo evaluated and they put her on pre pre team. She's had her 4th class today (she is 5 now). The coach said dd complains about the conditioning and doesn't like it. She also said that she is not so coordinated and flexible but is exceedingly strong. She wondered who tested her and allowed her on the pre pre team. The head coach tested her. The current teacher couldn't believe it! She said that dd is flaky and not always focused. But she wants to give her some more time to see what happens.

So dd says she loves this class just thinks conditioning is boring. She really wants to be in the class. My question is, are all pre pre team classes so serious? Being silly and unfocused seems quite normal to me at 5. Do I just try to get dd more serious in class or try to find another gym? I know dd doesn't show her best in class so I see why the teacher had that critique. But it all seems so serious for such little children. Wondering if all gyms are like this.

 

[notthatmom]

My DD is starting preteam in two weeks, so I haven't gotten her opinion on the actual class yet (she's 6), but I have watched the class before. And yes it's serious. I think it needs to be. It's conditioning the kids to be ready for the seriousness of competitive team. Rec classes are less serious because that's what they are...recreation. Maybe she isn't ready yet mature wise to be on preteam? I think if you talk to the gym and let them know she wants to pursue it one day but maybe wait a year and keep her in rec, they might go for it.



Just a thought. But yeah our pre team is serious, to answer your question

 

[Deleted member 18037]

You can not avoid conditioning if you are going to do competitive gymnastics.

 

[Neveranathlete]

Thank you for the replies. Just to clarify, this is really the PRE PRE team. It's before the pre team. There are a total of 5 girls in the class. Only 1 girl always sits still and does whatever the teacher asks. The others lose focus every now and then. DD is definitely the worst though, when it comes to focus.

DD is emphatic that she wants to stay in the class. I guess I'll have to find a way to help her to stay focused. I'm surprised though that so much is expected at such a young age! As you can see from my screen name, I've never been an athlete, so this is new to me. It's 45 mins of conditioning and then 45 mins of skills. Why not do 10 mins conditioning, 10 mins skills and back and forth? Eh, what do I know?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

How old are all the girls. 5 yr olds just do not have great attention spans, they're five.

 

[Neveranathlete]

How old are all the girls. 5 yr olds just do not have great attention spans, they're five.

They are all 4 and 5

 

[Neveranathlete]

I don't think DD has a problem with the conditioning per se. I think she would appreciate it more if she could do it in shorter bursts.

 

[Gym Beam]

Your DD is lucky. When DD joined pre team at 5.5 yrs old, it was pretty much all conditioning and shaping and then the last 10 minutes were free time. Box jumps, stall bar, rope climbs, running down the vault track, chin ups, presses, etc. were all presented in a fun way but watching her sessions made me feel tired and out of shape.

In fact, I don't recall her doing any cartwheels those first couple of classes.

If she wants to stay in class, I would let her stay. Let her know that all good things need to be earned: Conditioning (boring) before skills (fun).

Good luck!

 

[lovegymnastics22]

As crazy as it may seem, it has been my experience that a 5YOs willingness to condition (without cheating or asking for a bathroom break, etc.) is a good indicator of a child that will be successful at competitive gymnastics. It is not the only indicator though.

(It sounds like the group she is in is what many gyms call a developmental program group. In our gym this group does almost 100% conditioning. These girls are usually spotted not because they are young and doing back handsprings, but because they smiling at the top of the rope and eager to climb back up again They also are unusually focused and body aware for their age and can make corrections. )

Depending on how things work out, you may want to ask if this group is the only way to preteam. In our gym there are plenty of girls of all ages that may not be ready at 5 but eventually make it to team without going through this path. Each year the L3 pre-team is usually made up of about 40% girls that come out of this group and 60% that come out of rec. By the time they make team, they are ready to do the conditioning.

Note that it still is a very small population of little girls-- even at 7 or 8 that are willing to spend 3-4 hours a week of their afterschool playtime climbing ropes and doing v-lifts (or whatever they do) so eventually she's going to have to be one of the few willing to do the work.

And FWIW- I don't really think there is anything **you** can do to make her stay focused or like conditioning. I am personally against bribing her or anything else. Coaching from the stands won't win you any points from the gym. At 5 she can understand options and choices and consequences--> that if she wants to stay in the class, she has to do all the work of the class. If she doesn't, be happy to switch her to a different group. I definitely wouldn't do all this gym-hopping to find a perfect class for a 5 YO!!

 

[gymjunkie]

I think you would have the same expectations at other gyms. Focus is a big part of the selection process. Sometimes when you give it some time, a little light comes on and the child is suddenly turned in. Other times they remain unfocused and it becomes clear they also have focus issues in other environments. It's hard to know which one right now because of her age (and the lack of a crystal ball).

 

[JessSyd]

It is common for competitive stream classes to be very focused even for five year olds. And it is common for them to be mostly conditioning because good strength and basic shapes are an important foundation. Rec classes seem to be where fun can be had without the need for such early focus.

Most of the little gymnasts I know are unusually focused for their age. I teach and I am always amazed by the difference between the little gymnasts and most other children their age. My daughter turns seven very soon and has been doing gymnastics for years and even now when I see a bit of training I find it hard to believe how well she and her teammates can focus on something that looks so boring.

Four lessons in is early days yet and lack of focus in a new environment is very very normal for a five year old. Most rec classes at my daughter's gym are full of five year olds with only half their attention on the class. Your daughter is probably still getting accustomed to her new gym and coach. Give her time. Also let her know that conditioning is part of gymnastics, not just something they make you do before you get to gymnastics.

 

[tooootsie]

My youngest DD just turned 7 and is starting her 2nd season as a level 3. When she was 5 years and 4 months she was moved to JO preteam with 7 and 8 year old son training 9 hours a week. She did fine because she loves being in gym. Prior to that she was on advanced pretty team for 4 hours a week, prior to that hot shots for 2 hours a week. She was moved to pre-pre team like your daughter when she was 3. It was a lot of shapes and conditioning but they made it fun for the kids too. I think your daughter will stick it out if the love of the sport is there. Best of luck to her!!!

 

[l.c.o]

When my DD was 5, her gym had a different rec-to-team process than now. Kids used to move from tot classes to beginner rec at age 6. When she'd recently turned 5, my DD was in the first batch when they changed the minimum age to 5. She was then also invited to an invite-only rec-side-of-the-gym strength and flexibility class. It was sort-of prep for team & preteam try-outs. DD didn't like the class much and hated the "homework" that came with it (splits, wall handstands, etc). She complained before every class.

The thing is, she really wanted to be on "the blue floor" (team side of gym) so much that despite the dislike, she (mostly) worked hard at every practice and did the homework, and she did not want to go back to rec.

She wasn't ready for team at tryouts, and wasn't quite ready for preteam at those tryouts 6 months later, but they ended up inviting her to a brand new developmental class which was designed to lead kids to pre-team.

DD still disliked the conditioning, but she did it, and she was focused.

She's now 11, and just yesterday commented how odd it would feel not to ache everyday from conditioning. But hey, she's also mentioned how proud of herself she is, as she is one of two girls in her group who can do "corn-on-the-cobs" with ankle weights and straight legs.

My rambling point is that strength and conditioning is hard at any age, and it just gets more intense the higher their level. Probably most kids, especially little ones, actively dislike it. But drive is so important. The girls who are doing the best in her group are the ones who do strive to do conditioning well, despite dislike. For my DD, there's honor in doing it well. The girls who are unfocused and "cheat" are, in general, the ones who lag behind, with a few exceptions.

If your DD really truly LOVES gym, then maybe try to give it some time. But honestly, quite a few girls have left my DD's gym's developmental and preteam groups for this reason... some by their choice, some the gym's. They have to want it enough to focus and push through it. Not asking for adult-level focus, but not being a distraction is a good start.

Starting out hating it and unfocused doesn't mean that for sure your DD will never do team. It may just mean she's not ready. She could be ready in 1 day or 3 years, or never. But team isn't for the faint of heart. It's hard and frustrating and tear-inducing, and according to my DD, the best thing ever.

 

[Sasha]

I can also attest to these afore-made points:

- "Focus is a key part of the selection process" - particularly at the young ages of 4-6.

Sure, 5 year olds won't be expected to focus like 10 year olds, but on the 5-year old focus scale, coaches will prefer to work, and achieve the most, with the more-focused 5-year olds. A higher degree of focus than 'average' is expected, yes.

- The most successful kids are the ones who naturally love conditioning.

The "smiling at the top of the rope" and asking to climb it again and again, the loving to hold the hollow/dish shape as long as possible and naturally pushing themselves to get that last pull up...those kids. I have this child, so I know what it looks like. I also have other children who are the exact OPPOSITE and will cheat and complain about the hard physical nature of the sport. The hard physical part is NOT fun in any way to them. In fact, that was the panicky topic of one of my first posts here and why I joined CB! I had a non-focused, cheat-on-conditioning kid in gym who, though talented in some aspects, I eventually pulled out as I could see the road ahead. Best decision ever for my child in hidsight. Other more suited interests have blossomed!!).

Not saying your 5 year old is doomed! Definitely not! Just that yes, there are children who ARE focused and love conditioning at that age, so that is not an unrealistic expectation for a pre-pre team class that will focus on shapes, strength, and flexibility. If your child is to be successful on a competitive JO path, it might take a different path. Give it time first for her to settle in! Maybe she will surprise you! But if the class is not a fit, returning to rec for a year while she matures a little and giving another go is perfectly reasonable. You definitely want her in a class where she is a happy 5 year old.

 

[dani4]

My older daughter is 6.5 and has been in a pre pre team class for the last 2 years. In the first year she was up and down in how much she liked it. She is rather uncoordinated and not super strong or flexible, her main strengths are attitude and endurance. She was always attentive in class, but in that first year or so she cheated a bit on the conditioning. Over time she became more determined though, and it helped when she got a coach who knew how to get her to work hard. This coach is positive, but serious. Anyway about a year ago DD got more focused and started improving, close to when she turned 6. And then finally she moved up to the next level, which is still pre pre team but it's harder and more commitment. I think maturity helped a great deal. I never did anything or said anything to dd, because of what I learned on cb about not coaching or pressuring. Every time a new registration period came around I checked with dd to see if she still wanted to do gymnastics and if she would prefer rec. But she wanted to stay on track for team.

Younger dd is 4.5 and she's one of those extremely focused kids who loves conditioning and shaping, so it will be interesting to see how things go with her. She's not typical though.

 

[lhmom]

DD joined pre-team when she was 4 1/2. The two coaches who ran it at the time were very serious. At the time, I figured that she would eventually get bored and want to quit because it was so serious most of the time. She shocked me by staying. Looking back on it now (and watching the current preteam occasionally), I am really surprised at how focused she was at that age. Kids I see on pre-team now look a lot like your daughter. However, they restructured the pre-team. Now if the girls are older and more focused, they have them in the "serious" group ready to compete in a year (call it level 2 even though they don't compete that level). The pre team girls are the ones who will need more time to mature so it's a little less intense. I'd maybe talk to the head coach and see what his/her input is. Most of these coaches are experienced and have seen all types of kids.

 

[GymAuntie]

My older daughter is 6.5 and has been in a pre pre team class for the last 2 years. In the first year she was up and down in how much she liked it. She is rather uncoordinated and not super strong or flexible, her main strengths are attitude and endurance. She was always attentive in class, but in that first year or so she cheated a bit on the conditioning. Over time she became more determined though, and it helped when she got a coach who knew how to get her to work hard. This coach is positive, but serious. Anyway about a year ago DD got more focused and started improving, close to when she turned 6. And then finally she moved up to the next level, which is still pre pre team but it's harder and more commitment. I think maturity helped a great deal. I never did anything or said anything to dd, because of what I learned on cb about not coaching or pressuring. Every time a new registration period came around I checked with dd to see if she still wanted to do gymnastics and if she would prefer rec. But she wanted to stay on track for team.

Younger dd is 4.5 and she's one of those extremely focused kids who loves conditioning and shaping, so it will be interesting to see how things go with her. She's not typical though.

RE Bold Print: I'm wondering if some of the girls who are more focused are younger siblings who have older siblings doing gym as well. My niece is an only child and not just that she's an only child period in our side of the family meaning that she doesn't have cousins or really any extended family. Her father's side of the family lives 5 hours away and they do not interact. She is also 5 and was 15 days too young to start kindergarten so her exposure to other children is limited to activities and 2 day a week mother's day out preschool program.

In comparing her with her other friends who have older siblings, I see a world of difference between the 2. My niece is not the best listener and isn't the most focused at anything. Gym has actually made her better, but she's still nowhere near her friends who have older siblings.

To the OP my niece was in a pre pre team class last year and honestly never complained about the conditioning. She likes certain things more than others but never said anything was boring. Still she was never super focused in the class and actually cried one night because she wanted to go to class with the big girls and not her baby class. lol Most of the girls in her class were in kindergarten and she was 2 years away from it so of course she was the smallest and least focused. When she went to an evaluation at a new gym (we didn't want her repeating kindergym because we were afraid she'd be bored) my sister was mortified because of how poorly she was focusing. The teacher told my sister after not to worry that she was no different than other 5 year olds she'd worked with, especially those in a new place for the first time. Naturally that made everyone feel better.

I'm telling you that because it makes me wonder if maybe the gym might be the problem instead of your daughter. At 5 I think they need a slightly different type of coaching style. I am sure some here will disagree with me because of the disciplined nature of the sport, but if our gym said our LO was "flaky" (I don't know if that was your word or theirs so I will put it in quotes), then I might wonder if maybe a different coach was in order to coach the way the LO needed. A teacher/coach can be very good at what they do, but their style will not work for all people. Now if I truly believed that the LO was the issue, then I'd try to correct things with her, but I would look at all factors as well. I'm not one to tuck and run but I'm also not completely sure I wouldn't be evaluating other programs that might bring out the best in the LO. I think the tiny humans require more patience during the younger years. I'm not saying they should be babied because that's not the case, but patience is key to getting them confident.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I have an only child. She has been focused since the day I met her. I have been told since she is two that she is highly coachable (from multiple coaches and teachers). And she listens and takes corrections well and to heart. I usually get we would love to have 10, 20, 30 of her.

All kids are different and they do things in their own time.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Regarding general guidelines on attention spans.

http://www.speechtherapycentres.com/blog/2013/03/05/children-and-age-appropriate-attention-spans/

http://readwriteact.org/files/2014/07/BehaviorManagement-ImportantFacts.pdf

http://day2dayparenting.com/qa-normal-attention-span/

Normal Attention Span by Age:
Children ages 5-6 years old typically can attend to one activity that is of interest to them for around 10-15 minutes at a time and should generally be able to filter out small distractions occurring simultaneously in the environment. They may only be able to attend to an assigned classroom activity for only 5-10 minutes particularly if they find it uninteresting or difficult for them and do not have adult guidance to stay on task. As a guideline some research suggests using a child’s age as a general starting point for the number of minutes a child can attend to a single assigned task…so 5 minutes for a 5 year old, 7 minutes for a 7 year old, etc. Small groups of children may be able to play together for 15 minutes or up to a 1/2 hour if they are engaged in novel, interesting play activities. Children ages 6-7 years may be able to sustain attention to one interesting or novel task for as long a 30 minutes. Typically in kindergarten and 1st grade getting kids motivated, interested and engaged in the lesson is the key way of holding their attention. It also helps to keep lessons shorter and intersperse movement activities in between your lessons that require sitting and focusing behaviors. Another key to success in sustaining attention with young children is to have a teacher or aide in the classroom who is always able to help with new, difficult or frustrating tasks and who can intervene and provide cues to stay on task before a child loses interest.

 

[raenndrops]

I The "smiling at the top of the rope" and asking to climb it again and again,

I had to comment on this part...
When YG was 2-1/2, they moved her up to the 3-4 year old class. They would do rope climb every class. She loved it. One day when she was barely 3, she climbed to the top of the rope and didn't want to come down... It took HC going over and telling her she either HAD to come down or she could never climb the rope again. She came down.

About 2 weeks later, she happened to be in the gym on a day she didn't have class and an older class (ages 5+) was doing rope climb. "Her" teacher was teaching them. None of the girls were climbing more than 6 feet off the ground. Some of them said they couldn't because they were too little or it was too far / too hard. She called YG over, asked her how old she was (she said 3), and had her climb. She went to the top and remembered to come right back down.