I'm not sure if the happiness is genuine....

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So your daughter is the highest scorer on the team? Or do you think they're targeting her because she is new and doing well? I'm trying to understand because it sounds like other girls on the team are doing extremely well also. Perhaps it's just a matter of getting to know some parents.


Well, as of now she's the highest scorer on the team as far as a.a goes. But this is only the 2nd meet. And none of the girls did bad. Like everyone scored at least an 8.5 and up on each event. The Dad who made the comment this time around, fussed after the first meet. He asked me my dd's age and why wasn't she in his dd's group. I told him that more than likely they break it up based on birthdays. So there's no way of telling who's gonna be where. No one knew what any of the girls were gonna score. It was their first meet. Example, she got a 38.20 a.a. at the first one. I didn't understand it at first, because she'd never competed. One of the moms on the team had to show me how to find out the a.a. score. She has another dd that competes, so she knows how it works. This time around, her and another girl on the team got the same a.a. score. But my dd was in junior b and the other girl was in junior c. And he STILL had something to say.

My dd is new to the gym, yes. But she's not new to gymnastics. So maybe her skill came as a surprise because they didn't know that she had some experience. I don't know.
 
The best meet for me is one in which DD is not placed in the same award group as her closest friends and teammates, so they are not competing directly against each other. It's awkward when your child does brilliantly and her friend doesn't, or vice versa. Sometimes the congratulations are a bit stilted. But there is never an excuse for snarky or catty remarks masquerading themselves as congratulations. It is better to just smile and say nothing at all if you can't be genuine. But you will come across all types of people and all types of reactions in this sport, and you have to learn to just let things roll off your back. Act the right way yourself, and don't concern yourself too much with those who don't. I know, easier said than done! ;)


I wish it were that easy. My dd was in junior b. Her and two other teammates were together. One of the girls happens to be one of her closest buds on the team. They both did well. Her bud got first on floor and mine on bars and a.a. But they were happy for one another. And so was I. Then there were two girls in junior a. And the other six were in junior c. But everyone is together come awards time. I was happy for ALL the girls who got to receive a medal. And congratulated the girls as a team on a job well done. I cheer them all on, whether it's my dd or not. Some don't do the same for mine, and that's ok. It is what it is. I don't know, I'm just happy to experience this moment w/ my dd. She absolutely LOVES this sport. And so does mama! I am her BIGGEST cheerleader. I want her and everyone on the team to be happy. And I just wish the parents had the same attitude among one another, regardless of what the others dd got. :)
 
You are dealing with a diverse group of people and they aren't going to respond the way that you wish for them to respond.

It does sound like you are new to the competition experience and with time will gain more insight into the complicated emotions that swirl around both parents and gymnasts. Honestly, the easiest place to be coming from is as one of the "winners." Your very positive attitude is easy to take when your daughter is having a successful meet. Just be aware that it's a bit harder to pull off the stiff upper lip if you aren't coming from the top of the podium.

I've been on both ends and smack dab in the middle. Winning is definitely more fun! LOL
 
I don't congratulate parents when their kid does well. I tend to congratulate all the gymnasts as I see them, but it is usually for a stuck routine or a particular skill they are working on or something other than placements. I don't congratulate the parents because the parents have nothing to do with it. When my child does well I have always struggled with what to say back when a parent congratulates me because I didn't have anything to do with her success. I will usually say something like "Thanks, I did a great job with her hair today, and I am sure that's why she did so well..."
I don't congratulate the kids on placements because I know that those change from meet to meet or are dependent on age group and I tend not to emphasize placements with my child, so I don't want her to hear me congratulating other kids for their placements.
 
Well, as of now she's the highest scorer on the team as far as a.a goes. But this is only the 2nd meet. And none of the girls did bad. Like everyone scored at least an 8.5 and up on each event. The Dad who made the comment this time around, fussed after the first meet. He asked me my dd's age and why wasn't she in his dd's group. I told him that more than likely they break it up based on birthdays. So there's no way of telling who's gonna be where. No one knew what any of the girls were gonna score. It was their first meet. Example, she got a 38.20 a.a. at the first one. I didn't understand it at first, because she'd never competed. One of the moms on the team had to show me how to find out the a.a. score.


You've made it pretty easy from things you've put on this board to look up the scores from the meet. It appears to me your daughter wasn't the top AA score on her team and level and a lot of girls were doing well and winning, but maybe the meet scores were entered online correctly. It seems like your daughter is on a very successful team and with that can come some people who are there because they want to win. Maybe they are upset a newcomer came in. I think you should just be positive and continue to cheer for all the girls and it will work itself out in time. Good luck! Your daughter is very talented from your video and I'm sure she'll have a lot of success.
 
They've had two meets. The first meet, she was. We hosted that meet and for whatever reason, the scores weren't entered for that one. The second meet, she was tie w/ another teammate. I mentioned that on someone else's response. And as far as the level itself goes, I never stated that. I don't know who's the top in the level. I was referring to our team and the past two meets we've competed in. I'm sure there are many other gyms here that may do well also, but the gym my dd is at came recommended by a couple people. And I'm sure you're referencing my youtube link as far as making things easy to look up scores ;)

But thank you for the luck and thanks for the comments!!! :)
 
They've had two meets. The first meet, she was. We hosted that meet and for whatever reason, the scores weren't entered for that one. The second meet, she was tie w/ another teammate. I mentioned that on someone else's response. And as far as the level itself goes, I never stated that. I don't know who's the top in the level. I was referring to our team and the past two meets we've competed in. I'm sure there are many other gyms here that may do well also, but the gym my dd is at came recommended by a couple people. And I'm sure you're referencing my youtube link as far as making things easy to look up scores ;)

But thank you for the luck and thanks for the comments!!! :)

Yes, but generally first name, state, and knowing they competed on a certain weekend and what they placed and scored is enough.

Also in the past coaches and gyms have recognized people and that has caused drama or repercussions. That's probably the main concern people have here about anonymity. If you aren't anonymous, I think that's fine, just be careful of what you share abut your gym.

My point wasn't that your daughter isn't very talented. In fact I wondered why she wasn't put on level 4 or 5 as I think her abilities would make her a top scorer in those levels. But I guess if they're training her properly it doesn't matter. My point was your gym looks very competitive which can unfortunately attract these people. The good thing is they leave for other sports early or go to smaller gyms where their kid can be the best.

Find some nice parents to stick to, they'll last longer anyways.
 
Hi everyone! Sorry this is gonna be a little long, but I don't know how to handle this situation. So my dd has really been into gymnastics since she was 7. We relocated states (VA) when she was 6 (got out of the military and moved back home to Illinois), and didn't get back into gymnastics until Aug 2011. She did rec, then was asked to join L 2/3 Dec 2011. She then quit around Mar/Apr 2012. She came back to the gym Aug 2012 & was asked to join L4 in Oct. She didn't compete old L4 because of when she joined the team, or so I was told. I moved to a region 8 state July 2013 & the gym she's at now, she's on Xcel Silver. The gym didn't want to do the new USAG change, so they went the Xcel way. And they placed her there because she hadn't competed.

They've since had two meets and the first meet my dd placed first in every event. We had a meet yesterday, & she placed 1st in bars and a.a, and 2nd in everything else. There are 11 girls on the team. Out of the 10, excluding mine, I think maybe two or three parents are genuine when they're congratulating us. The rest, I feel it's fake. They chatter and they whisper. Or they give these looks. One parent said "I'm a little disappointed Trinity didn't get first place in all of her events this time around". And then he smiled. He was joking, yes. But I felt like he was happy she didn't. I keep a smile on my face & let my baby know I'm proud of her and to keep up the great work. Maybe it's a good thing they feel threatened by her talent. But I don't want to feel isolated :(
VaultbeastMom, I just noticed this post. You just moved here, and this area is highly competitive as far as gymnastics goes. You are also new to your gym. Southerners are generally friendly, just give them time to warm up to you. This is a wild guess, but some may think that you think that you are something, or you are after your dd to excel through the levels because she is so good. Never mind anybody else. they cannot walk in your shoes(or your daughters!). PS, I saw her video, she should be doing Xcel gold. Does she have her carwheel/backwalkover and tuck off beam yet? Everything else looks great!
 

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