Parents Introduction and Question

[cher062]

Hi! I'm new here and fairly new to the world of gym. My dd Joy competed last year as a 7yo L4 and this year is competing as an 8yo L5. She is a wonderful, happy, smart girl and I'm so proud of her. So glad to join this forum of knowledge parents who all seem to have their children's best interest at heart. Which brings me to my question. All of your children seem to be high-scoring gymmies who place consistently AA. My dd LOVES gym and competing. She did OK last year, consistently did better as the season went on, and made it to States. She occasionally placed in events. This year the jump to L5 is obviously a big one. She had only a few meets so far and is not really improving yet. In fact, she has come in last AA in every meet. She is somewhat aware but is happy to compete regardless of scores/placing. My question is wondering if all of the hours she spends at the gym and all of that time spent away from her friends at school missing playdates, bday parties, etc. is in her best interest. I'm not making any changes right now as she would be heart-broken to leave her coaches and teammates. And she and I are so proud each and every meet regardless of placing. I guess my concern is that I wouldn't want to look back and regret all that she has sacrificed to be in gym. Though she has gotten SO MUCH out of it. And she's just 8. Only parents who have gymmies would understand. My friends in real life think I'm crazy for dd spending 16 hrs/wk at gym + meets on weekends!

Well First off WELCOME, WELCOME!!!

I don't think everyone here has gymnasts that are always in the top. I know my DD on occasion places in those trophy positions but usually is somewere in the middle. When she started out the lower bottom was not a stranger. What we did was get a spiral bound index card book (staples has them) and for every meet keep her scores. Then from one meet to the next we only looked at her scores to see if there was improvement. If there was we always made a big deal of any improvements even tiny ones and of course we would celebrate with Ice Cream (DD's Favorite no matter how cold outside it is). 16 + hours and meets is nothing try 20 hours + meets almost everyweekend + a few private lessons thrown in.
Non - gym folk think we are crazy for all the hours but I say if my DD is still saying she loves it and just has to do it then I don't have any issues with it so long as her grades are good. Last report card Straight A's High Honors so no issues with that.

As far as friends go just like everyother kid she will have School friends, Neighborhood Friends and Gym friends. My DD also does Girl Scouts once a week, takes piano at school and is part of the school choir which practices before school. She goes to B-day parties for her friends (not all but a good amount), she has play dates with her friends, and a social life outside of the gym. If you look at your friends kids they probably put in as many hours in several activities each week instead of just one activity. I've had parents say how can you do all those hours but if you listen to them they are driving all over for soccer, karate, dance lessons, scouts, etc every day.

 

[gymgramma]

no need to miss out on all the playdates, bday parties, sleepovers, etc. It's OK to miss a practice now and then. As long as gymnastics is still fun for her, don't worry about it

 

[GymnastJoy]

Thank you, thank you for all of the wonderful welcomes and thoughtful responses!

My thought-process was already in line with the feedback received though it's comforting to be reassured by more seasoned parents.
My daughter is very happy with gym, the coaches love her drive and positive attitute, and she has learned many invaluable life lessons. She has also made some great friendships with 'like-minded' girls. I'm just not a competitive person and it makes me uncomfortable to hear the coaches and moms make such a big deal about scores and placement. I guess that's the nature of the sport. I instill in my dd that so long as she tried her best then the meet was a success. What more could you ask for? I give all of these kids a lot of credit.
But then returning to practice and having moms ask about scores seems counter-productive. I guess I will need to invest in an iPod with a good set of earphones for the waiting area .

 

[lilgymmie7]

Thank you, thank you for all of the wonderful welcomes and thoughtful responses!

My thought-process was already in line with the feedback received though it's comforting to be reassured by more seasoned parents.
My daughter is very happy with gym, the coaches love her drive and positive attitute, and she has learned many invaluable life lessons. She has also made some great friendships with 'like-minded' girls. I'm just not a competitive person and it makes me uncomfortable to hear the coaches and moms make such a big deal about scores and placement. I guess that's the nature of the sport. I instill in my dd that so long as she tried her best then the meet was a success. What more could you ask for? I give all of these kids a lot of credit.
But then returning to practice and having moms ask about scores seems counter-productive. I guess I will need to invest in an iPod with a good set of earphones for the waiting area .

I think some asking how the team did could be in good spirit. Some parents may just honestly ask to feel more like they are included in the whole team atmosphere. I've asked before, " How did the girls do?" When a parent replies'" Good, Great, or just fine!" I am content to say, " That's great!"
But, I guess you mean that some parents actually discuss the "scores". That is unfortunate. You have the right idea though, get yourself that Ipod and drown out the stress and negativity. I wish I could tell you it will get better, but sadly it may never happen. There are enough wackys at all levels even the higher levels. Some may even intensify.
Your DD is one of the lucky ones because she has a level headed parent who cares about what is important, HER not the score she got, could get, or should get!

 

[Crystalflipz]

If your daughter is in gymnastics because she enjoys being there, and you are OK with that, the rest will come with time. My daughters have both been in the gym since they could walk, and all I have really asked of them is to try their best and be respectful of their coaches. Medals and trophies are nice to bring home, but ultimately they are huge dust collectors and really don't indicate what a child has gotten from gymnastics. If someone had told me 11 years ago that my 8yr old L4 would be the first girl from our gym to be recruited to compete NCAA gymnastics I would have told them they were crazy! Out of 21 girls on her first year L4 team, Caileigh was the last one to qualify for States and the only one to come away from States without a medal. Her beam was wobbly, her bars were terrible - she never did get her shoot through as a L4, and her BHS's looked like an upside-down spider! She loved the sport though, and never wanted to do anything else, so we just let her keep going. After 2 years of L4 and 3 years of L5, Caileigh was L6 13yr old Maryland vault champion and was 2nd AA by a heart-breaking 0.025!
Through multiple injuries and some very frustrating years, Caileigh has never lost her love for gymnastics. She has learned that not everything in life is easy, and that doing your best really is more important than winning every time - life lessons that are far more important than all the trophies and medals than hang on her wall.
Good luck to your daughter. As for all those parents who place such a high value on their children's scores - just nod, smile and tell them you were so excited watching your child compete you forgot to record the scores

 

[lilgymmie7]

If your daughter is in gymnastics because she enjoys being there, and you are OK with that, the rest will come with time. My daughters have both been in the gym since they could walk, and all I have really asked of them is to try their best and be respectful of their coaches. Medals and trophies are nice to bring home, but ultimately they are huge dust collectors and really don't indicate what a child has gotten from gymnastics. If someone had told me 11 years ago that my 8yr old L4 would be the first girl from our gym to be recruited to compete NCAA gymnastics I would have told them they were crazy! Out of 21 girls on her first year L4 team, Caileigh was the last one to qualify for States and the only one to come away from States without a medal. Her beam was wobbly, her bars were terrible - she never did get her shoot through as a L4, and her BHS's looked like an upside-down spider! She loved the sport though, and never wanted to do anything else, so we just let her keep going. After 2 years of L4 and 3 years of L5, Caileigh was L6 13yr old Maryland vault champion and was 2nd AA by a heart-breaking 0.025!
Through multiple injuries and some very frustrating years, Caileigh has never lost her love for gymnastics. She has learned that not everything in life is easy, and that doing your best really is more important than winning every time - life lessons that are far more important than all the trophies and medals than hang on her wall.
Good luck to your daughter. As for all those parents who place such a high value on their children's scores - just nod, smile and tell them you were so excited watching your child compete you forgot to record the scores

Now this is what I am talking about! Wow! Please tell your DD " Well done job!" You must be so proud Mom! Congrats to all of you! My DD is going to college and the tuition scares me.

 

[emorymom]

I also think it's possible to be mildly interested in the outcome of meets or make friendly conversation without being inappropriately emotionally invested.

 

[GymnastJoy]

emorymom- I agree!

I'm interested in how dd's L5 teammates did since they are some of her closest friends and I spend so much time with their moms in the gym and at meets. I'm also interested in the rest of the team however don't ask the girls and their moms for their scores and whether they got medals. I love your term 'inappropriately emotionally invested'.

 

[cher062]

emorymom- I agree!

I'm interested in how dd's L5 teammates did since they are some of her closest friends and I spend so much time with their moms in the gym and at meets. I'm also interested in the rest of the team however don't ask the girls and their moms for their scores and whether they got medals. I love your term 'inappropriately emotionally invested'.

I like to keep track of all the girls on DD's level as I like to see how they all are doing as a team. I'm just as happy for her teammates as I am for her but I don't dwell on the scores like I've see some other parents from other gyms do. These are the friends she spends alot of time with and we do spend alot of time in the bleachers getting bleacher butt with the parents who we all get close. It also gives us all something to do while we spend hours in those bleachers. I've crocheted a whole afgan in those bleachers.