Parents is gymnastics that different?

[nameless]

wow.. i am a talker in general, gonna have to put some limits on myself as my lil one gets older! i definately don't stress her at meets because i know better, but i definately did give her LOTS of advice last season. it stemmed from her being put on a team the very first day she ever tried gymanstics. GO put her on the L3 team. HC wasn't very pleased about it since she was still 3 at the time. my dd knew absolutely NOTHING about gymnastics, not even terms like headstand vs handstand and was often confused and discouraged because the kids on her team were way ahead of her. i knew nothing of competative gymnastics, but the skills she needed were so basic that my oldest daughter and myself basically helped catch her up (i know i've since heard, big no-no!).. coach never seemed upset because she was just a distraction to him anyway (she was just too young to be still in line). this season she has the GO as her coach, and she is older, so i really should be able to keep my mouth shut. she has nearly all her skills for L4, so i have no concerns like i did last year, now she is ahead of the game.

and just to defend all the hardworking cheerleaders out there.. my middle dd's team practices 15 hours a week which includes tumbling.. which is still less than a gymnast. also i think maybe being judged as a team is less stressful that being judged as an individual like gymnasts are. i do think gymnastics is harder and a more dangerous, i was just trying to use as a comparison since i don't really hear "don't talk about cheerleading at home". i think it is common sense to not verbally abuse your kids or pressure them to the point of psychological damage, but i did not know talking about gymnastics was so taboo until i read it on CB.. i will follow your advice.

 

[Faith]

Many of the 'trained' parents have no clue either. take this drama mama for example... ACCIDENT: WORST gymnastics trampoline accident to supervised girl playing on the Springfree at home - YouTube

I watched that. I don't agree that her technique is "pretty darned good" though. She tumbles like she's on a backyard trampoline, undercuts, doesn't "set" from the round off properly- you simply cannot get good technique on those things. Just emphasises to me that parents who think they can coach, can't. Even if they have coached before doesn't mean they're a good coach.

My kids nag for a trampoline. No way on this planet are they getting one. It's dangerous at worst, and at best will teach them appalling technique.

My mum tries to coach my child from the benches, yells out about toe points and tells me I "need to get hold of her". But I remember often having really good practices when I was a kid, then I'd have to face the whole ride home with my mum telling me what I should be doing. Totally took the buzz out of it. Especially as she doesn't have a clue about gymnastics .

DD did a comp this weekend, did one event and as my mum is listing all the errors, the scores come up as 9.5- the highest of the entire day. Still she asked why did she get such a high score, she did x.y,z wrong. err- it wasn't wrong, she did it correctly as her coaches told her, it's *you* who thinks it is wrong because you don't know what is right.

My job is a parent, that's it. I pay good coaches to coach her, and I don't want a coaches often love/hate relationship, she's my child!

 

[maryRS]

My two cents, without having read the other responses. I think it depends on the child. But my boys were/are big soccer players, and from the time they first got into competitive soccer, the message has been to let it be their game. I wouldn't go so far as to not talk about it at all, but the message is that they generally know what they are doing wrong, where they need improvement and to keep it positive. I have generally taken their lead, if they wanna talk we talk. I'm not going to sit her and say we have never done the "imperfect" thing as parents and said "What happened with that play?" I mean we are human right?

But no I really don't think gymnastics is all that different in terms of competitiveness than any other sport. I don't think you are damaging your child by talking about it. I guess the one thing different is I wouldn't want my gymnast doing certain skills/tricks in the back yard whereas you can always kick a soccer ball. But I will say that our soccer net has gone unused probably about as much as many people's balance beams in home. And I have a D1 college player and a highschool player hoping to be a college player, so it's not for lack of love of the sport.

i read all these threads and other material about leaving gymnastics in the gym and what to say and not to say after practice/meets, etc.. i'm a seasoned parent and have had my other 2 daughters in competative sports, but my lil one is my first competative gymnast. no other sport that we've been involved in (cheer, swim, tennis, basketball) goes crazy warning a parent about discussing such small things like reminding your kid to point their toes or whatnot. other sports have intense practices and huge time commitments.. i have never heard keep swim in the pool or keep basketball on the court.. is gymnastics really that different than other sports? my oldest (18) says she's happy we talked so much about competative cheer and was happy to hear my corrections as she needed the honesty.. i told her maybe the psychological damage will kick in later, ha. but really i am confused about what really sets this sport apart from other sports that you are allowed to and even at times encouraged to discuss at home. before every meet i make a silly face at my lil one and say "straight, tight, pointed" and she smiles and gives me a big nod. please say i haven't ruined my awesome lil gymnast before she's even turned 6!

 

[LizzieLac]

I think in this instance, all sports are the same. Bad technique is bad technique and repeatedly doing something the wrong way increases the odds of injury. So, parents who do not know proper pitching technique should not advise their sons/daughters on pitching baseball or softball. It is a guarantee of injuries. Same goes for gymnastics - simple as that.

Regarding, talking about the sport or your child's performance, execution, motivation, etc. I think it is the parent's job to have an open dialogue about their child's sport. Just like you wouldn't leave all discussion to a teacher when it comes to studying, preparing, paying attention, motivation in schoolwork, etc. There is a point of overdoing it, for sure - in all aspects of life. I want my DD and DS to know that they can talk to me about anything - sports, school, friends, whatever. And I will give my advice, but that does not mean I will talk technique on sports I know nothing. I will talk about staying motivated in tough workouts, proving oneself, working hard and not giving up, having good sportmanship, etc. To me that is the difference...I stay away from technique unless I actually have the experience and knowledge.

 

[Flossyduck]

I think the important thing is to take the lead from the child and I am sure that they are all different and have different needs. Our job as parents is to understand their needs and how they might differ from ours!
My daughter always wants to talk to me about her session. Sometimes she comes straight out with it and sometimes she gets in the car and eats first and I wait and see - but she always initiates something. In fact on the occasion that her Daddy picks her up from gym she often gets quite tearful because apparently he doesn't understand what she is talking about and she can't talk things through with him. That's how she puts it!

She puts a lot of pressure on herself and can be a perfectionist. Most of the time that's ok, but when she's tired and had a tough session I sometimes need to talk her up a bit, give her compliments and remind her how great she is and then switch the subject to something distracting. I trust myself to know what is best for her emotional needs and avoiding talking about her sport wouldn't work for her.

Also, although I always encourage her to talk to her coach about things which are bothering her, she is just a little girl and her coach is an authority figure. She doesn't always feel confident to ask for help. I don't try and give advice but I can help her to understand that her question, problem or anxiety is fine and something the coach would want to know about and can help with and give her the confidence to raise it in her session.

Now coaching is an entirely different matter - I never go there! I don't even like to support her in handstands at home anymore as I know that the coaches are making tiny corrections, even to those, and I don't want to hold her wrong!

 

[Aussie_coach]

Yes, that video is wonderful example of a parent who thinks they understand what their child is doing, grossly misjudging the situation. An experienced coach would have seen that coming after watching such portly executed round off back tucks (or should I say round off, throw yourself over to feet), they would have been able to prevent such an injury when she asked to step it up to a layout and do in from a back handspring rather than a back layout.

the child could easily have been severely injured.

having said that we can't wrap kids up in cotton wool and many will assume they can do this stuff anyway and try it when's rents are not looking. Especially if a friend or sibling is with them.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I watched that. I don't agree that her technique is "pretty darned good" though. She tumbles like she's on a backyard trampoline, undercuts, doesn't "set" from the round off properly- you simply cannot get good technique on those things. Just emphasises to me that parents who think they can coach, can't. Even if they have coached before doesn't mean they're a good coach.

My kids nag for a trampoline. No way on this planet are they getting one. It's dangerous at worst, and at best will teach them appalling technique.

My mum tries to coach my child from the benches, yells out about toe points and tells me I "need to get hold of her". But I remember often having really good practices when I was a kid, then I'd have to face the whole ride home with my mum telling me what I should be doing. Totally took the buzz out of it. Especially as she doesn't have a clue about gymnastics .

DD did a comp this weekend, did one event and as my mum is listing all the errors, the scores come up as 9.5- the highest of the entire day. Still she asked why did she get such a high score, she did x.y,z wrong. err- it wasn't wrong, she did it correctly as her coaches told her, it's *you* who thinks it is wrong because you don't know what is right.

My job is a parent, that's it. I pay good coaches to coach her, and I don't want a coaches often love/hate relationship, she's my child!

grandma needs to be a grandma. that's all.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My two cents, without having read the other responses. I think it depends on the child. But my boys were/are big soccer players, and from the time they first got into competitive soccer, the message has been to let it be their game. I wouldn't go so far as to not talk about it at all, but the message is that they generally know what they are doing wrong, where they need improvement and to keep it positive. I have generally taken their lead, if they wanna talk we talk. I'm not going to sit her and say we have never done the "imperfect" thing as parents and said "What happened with that play?" I mean we are human right?

But no I really don't think gymnastics is all that different in terms of competitiveness than any other sport. I don't think you are damaging your child by talking about it. I guess the one thing different is I wouldn't want my gymnast doing certain skills/tricks in the back yard whereas you can always kick a soccer ball. But I will say that our soccer net has gone unused probably about as much as many people's balance beams in home. And I have a D1 college player and a highschool player hoping to be a college player, so it's not for lack of love of the sport.

well...soccer still has rules...or at least the parents of a household do. like, you don't kick a soccer ball in the house. just like you don't do gymnastics at home.

 

[JBS]

Not different at all...all sports should stay "in the gym"..."on the field"..."on the court"..."at practice"...unless the conversation is started by the athlete or coach.

This does not mean that the sport cannot be talked about...it means...don't be be critical of them. Listen to your gymnast when they want to talk...just listen.

 

[leotardmakermum]

Just this morning on our walk to school, my little gymnast (level 2/3ish IDP) said to me that she will need to get a beam for home at some point, because all the other girls in her training group have one. I said "oh, no. I don't think so, for several reasons.
1, I doubt it that they do.
2, you wouldn't be able to use it for the things you are training at gym, because we don't have proper matting etc underneath.
3, I am not your coach, nor is Daddy, and you shouldn't be doing those things without your coach.
4, As your training increases, you won't be at home enough to use it, so why not just use the beams at gym to do your stuff well?
5, we don't have the room for one."

Not sure if I convinced her...

Whenever she goes off at gym training, a competition, or a special training squad day, we always say to her "Have fun!" As her parents, we feel that is the most important thing for us to say to her.