Parents Is it time to pull the plug?

[holly1014]

I have a 14 year old L9. She is fearless and talented but she is inconsistent and unable to understand what to do to make her body have good form. She loves the sport and says she never wants to quit but she doesn't do the "non fun" stuff requested by coaches to make her better. I have had heart to heart with her. The coaches have too. She flipped out when I suggested quitting or Prep Op. She has grown a lot which makes it hard but after two years of doing certain basic skills, they should be almost perfect.

With school, travel, fees and airplane tickets, I contemplate just putting my foot down and taking her out.

Not sure what to do.... suggestions?

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Honestly, if it's not a financial issue, i think it does really need to be her decision. There is a recent discussion about improvement vs. quitting. In all honesty, She is way above the Prep Op. level, but I can't imagine a gym telling her "no" if she still wants to participate. I don't have any words of advice other than to send you my best wishes on making the right decision!

 

[bogwoppit]

Totally agree with TQM, if it isn't about the money then leave her be, better in the gym than cruising the mall with her school pals!

 

[wandrewsjr]

I don't know what Prep Op is like where you are, but Xcel(what it is called in Region 1 and soon to be called nationally by USAG) is becoming that advanced here. The highest level (Diamond) allows all level 8 vaults, and allows up to C skills on other events. This level in our area is mostly made up of "retired" level 7, 8 and 9 gymnasts.(Girls who love gymnastics and were actually pretty good at it but have decided they would like to experience more of high school life!)

USAG is coordinating now with all the Regions to nationalize the Xcel program in 2013, and I would expect the national program to have a level similiar to our highest level in Region 1.

Not trying to advocate your daughter doing Xcel, just wanted to make sure you know what is out there. I agree with above, that as long as gymnastics isn't a strain on your family financially or otherwise, I would just leave it be and let it be HER sport.

 

[Deanna]

I really dont have anything to say, that the others have not already said. But best of luck.

 

[Galadriel]

My dd is older but around this sort of age she was good, but not really 'all there' - sort of winging it on talent!
Like the kid at school who doesnt need to try and is good anyway!
She got worse results in competitions one year - had a lightbulb moment (and a new coach!) and then realised that talent only takes you so far and the kids she was up against were ALL talented and it was now down to hard work - she decided she wanted to, but there is a big drop off i think in teenage years.
I would definitely agree that if it isnt financial then it is better being in gym than not if she enjoys it!
Warm thoughts - not easy being a parent!

 

[gymmom14]

We must have twins seperated at birth! lol. My 14 yo competed L8 last year and will move to L9 some point this season (starts in Jan) My dd also has less than perfect form to say the least. She never got the toe point gene. She is a middle of the pack gymnast. She works hard, but always holds back and is never out of control in the gym. Hurts her on vault most.

I question every day whether she should continue. She has no plans on quitting. I feel like she loves gym, but would love cheer, chess club,diving, pole vaulting etc. whatever too. She is in 9th grade at a new school and misses out on a lot due to training. I ask myself the following questions: What is she doing all this for? How will this end?
As her mom, its my responsibility to guide her into making the right decisions. The only problem is I don't know what the right thing to do is.......

 

[momofagymmie]

Sounds like she would like to continue. I am conflicted though. I see two issues. I think growth makes a huge difference in their performance. Her body has lost the use of the memory it had at it's previous height and has to relearn even the smallest details to adapt to the new size. This takes a while. For this reason I would let her continue. But, I would get upset if she's not working out during her training in the non fun stuff because that will only make the sport dangerous for her. Conditioning is very very important and can't be skipped esp at those levels..

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Totally agree with TQM, if it isn't about the money then leave her be, better in the gym than cruising the mall with her school pals!

that's right, Bog. don't throw the baby out with the chalk...i mean the bathwater.

 

[ZZMom]

In my household one of the main reasons my kids are athletes is to keep them out of trouble during their teenage years (sucessfully accomplished with our two oldest children).

Your daughter is enjoying herself, is a level 9 (a big accomplishment), and .... she is being kept out of trouble during her teenage years.

Unless it is unaffordable, I would continue to encourage her.



ZZMom

 

[beamer]

We are in the exact same boat in our family, and our daughter is only a level 5! For us, it is not a question of affordability, but one of convenience and time. There is a huge family commitment that comes with enabling the competitive gymnast!

I laugh when I am lurking on this site and see people worried about their DDs making "only" 35s. Then I hope that these kids are competing pre-elite in California or Texas, because I cannot see our cute, gymnastics-loving daughter ever getting a 35 -- due to lack of form, flexibility, or whatever happens to be bugging her on any particular day. She struggled to even qualify last year (31!).

Our 10-year-old DD is at a good, but small, gym in the northeast. She picks up skills quickly and is strong, but she lacks flexibility (still no left or straddle splits after four years in the gym...sigh) and the kinesthetic awareness that some girls seem to have as 5-year-olds. When she encounters skills she is not good at (currently the back extension roll in the L5 floor routine and pesky handspring vault), she avoids, rather than trying to conquer and perfect, these skills. Despite being an attention-loving ham in general, she tends to "do" her routines, rather than "perform" them. She came in last at a good number of meets last year. This year (repeat L5) is looking better, but only by a little. She is a work-a-day gymnast and will probably repeat levels for as long as she is in the sport. I'm not even sure she'll compete her way out of L5 this second year!

It is frustrating to watch, as the enabling parent! I admit to gazing longingly at the prep optional team at her gym, with its 5 hours of practice a week, its four meets per year, its emphasis on skills acquisition rather than rock-solid form, etc. However, my DD insists it's JO USAG for her, or no gym at all.

So, once I get past my own issues about her gym life, I see all the good that is coming from it. She is working out 12 hours a week, which is great for her body and her head. She has caring, competent coaches who can "see" the whole gymnast. She has had to learn time management to find a nice balance among family, school and gym (in that order!) activities. She is a great student and an encouraging, supportive teammate. If she sticks with gymnastics, there will be little time in the immediate future for malls, boys and Facebook (which my non-sporty teenaged daughter has become mired in).

Okay, and I will also cop to a certain pride that DD just kicked the butts of all the boys in her class in the yearly Presidential Physical Fitness test!

I'm with Bog and ZZ. If she is happy and motivated to continue, keep her there.

 

[holly1014]

Bigs Thanks

Reading all these posts definitely makes me feel better. She is always in the gym and not at parties/football games so that is definitely good! She already did a Xcel (when it was called Prep Platinum) and won AA at Regionals so she wouldn't go back to that. It is hard to not be disappointed when she is capable of much more. Maybe she too will have a lightbulb moment after the first couple of meets. In the end, this is her journey. Thanks for all your posts.

 

[holly1014]

@Beamer - I love your post. You made me laugh at kicking the boy's butts. You are SO RIGHT about the time management aspect too. There is a lot of good.

 

[cher062]

if money isn't an issue and your DD loves doing it what else is there. Gymnastics should be done first and formost for FUN - if they happen to be good enough to get some ribbons and trophies that is gravy. most of these girls are KIDS and want to kick back sometimes its ok if she is at a plateau and holding. there are some skills and forms too that the kids never get and thats ok too if they are happy and confident and feel good about what they do.