Parents It’s me, CGM

[LTmom]

Coming up this week for DD is the coach’s decision to move up certain kids. This is completely unexpected for me because they emphasize a full year in each level, it hasn’t been a year for DD in this level, DD was a slow starter, and she’s been out this year a bit due to injuries.

She reports that a couple coaches have said things to her about moving up, and giving her challenges above and beyond what the other kids have been assigned.

The problem? I’m awake at 1am watching gymnastics videos with stomach in knots over how she’ll do on the test. Yes I completely acknowledge that is crazy behavior and if I CGM her it will hurt her. Help screw my head on straight!

If she wakes up tomorrow wanting to practice, I let her right?
And if she asks for help I help her, right?
But she takes the lead? And I shut my crazy mouth and keep the crazy thoughts inside?
Aaaaaaaaaaaargh I don’t believe in drugs but if I did this would be the time for a valium!!

 

[raenndrops]

If she really wants to practice, let her ... within reason. No practicing anything she is not able to safely do. Preference is to stick with stretching, conditioning, splits, and maybe handstands, cartwheels, and roundoffs - depending on her current level.

If you are not a coach, she should not really be asking for help. If she does ask for help, find out exactly what she wants help with... is it something I listed above? If it is not stretching, conditioning, or splits than you should not be "helping" ... leave that to the coaches. If she wants you to help by working out with her - go for it. I used to stretch all the time with my gymmies and still occasionally stretch with YG (when my knees are up to it, lol). But now that her splits are almost as good as mine, I can probably stop.
But if she asks you to critique as a way to help, focus on her form - straight legs, pointed toes mostly. But be fun with that - Splits example: "Lets see ... head in the right position..." and see if she changes her head position ... and work down the body (shoulders back, arms either up to show she is all the way down or down supporting her is she isn't all the way down, hips forward, straight legs) to "hmmm, pointed toes ..." and watch her try to point them even harder, lol. You don't have to tell her what she is doing wrong, but "thinking out loud to your self" especially if you are sitting like a judge with a notebook in hand can do wonders for both of you - making it fun ... you get to play act and she will focus on her form and have fun watching mom be like a judge.
Good luck fighting the CGM! And good luck to your DD.

 

[bogwoppit]

Often parents "helping" at home is what slows kids progress down. They help them to get bad habits, they help them to do skills in a way that the coach does not remember teaching.

Keep the CGM in your head and let her be.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Here is how you help.

Beyond stretching, conditioning and perhaps a walk through of the dance part of a routine, or a video review..........

You tell her gym stays in the gym, where there are coaches and proper equipment.

You listen and nod.
You drive.
You write the checks.

And you say do your best and have fun, love you bye.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Wine helps too. I prefer pinot grigio

 

[OrchidZ]

Just from my experience and what I wish I could go back in time and tell myself:

1) No more staying up late to watch gymnastics. None. You need your sleep to keep even-keeled (and healthy) for your sake and hers. If you have to, remember you are modeling calm and reasonable for her.. you wouldn't want her staying up late watching gymnastics and churning on this. Do what you have to do to relax in the evening, no screens, and get some sleep.
2) I get it. BTDT. You are excited for her and what this is/could be for her. But, as you said, no amount of CGM from you can or will help her. So when you find your head going back and back to this subject, you need to break the train of thought. Not sure if there's an actual term for it, but I think of it as mental "thrashing" (thrashing is when a computer hard drive is overworking just moving data around unnecessarily due to any number of problems. That hard drive light is on, data is moving around, but nothing is really getting done because it's just.. stuck working hard. Thrashing is not helpful or efficient and can lead to demise of the hard drive.) I once saw a TED talk where the speaker said that when your brain is doing that 'mental thrashing' thing, you have to break the cycle/trend. Get up and do something completely different for 2 minutes. Every time you catch yourself hashing over a subject and you know you need to stop, go pull some weeds, load the dishwasher, or call your mom. Engage in something that tells your brain, "No, I'm not doing that right now." It's really not unlike re-directing a young child or pet. Or brains can get caught up, and we need to redirect them. It'll get easier as you go, and you'll find yourself more balanced. It really helps
3) Rinse and Repeat until your daughter some day hangs up the grips. Because this too shall pass, and when it does.. there will be another night some time in your future where you'll find yourself wanting to stay up until the wee hours of the night, looking up stats and qualification criteria and trying to figure out what those things were that Ragan Smith was wearing on her feet at that last meet and does my girl need them and if so, where do we get them and and and..
And it's ok.

If she wants to practice, give her a hug and then let her practice.. while you make your todo list for the day and drink some coffee.

 

[Outsider]

And don't forget to tell her that she is fine the way she is. The level she competes in doesn't say anything about how great she is as a person. Help her understand that, especially when she does not move up and feels bad about it. Tell her it is great to work hard for something and to train your body and brain to become better than you were yesterday. But that's all. No need to be stressed. Not for for you nor for your little girl. Millions of people live happy and healthy without any olympic medals.

 

[LTmom]

I’ve accepted that I can’t control my stomachaches and neurotic obsession. But I can keep it inside and not let DD see it or let it affect her. Thanks for all your input. In case you’re interested, I asked her if she wanted to go practice at the park (not enough room in the house for tumbling passes) and she said yes. I saw her struggling so I showed her a couple youtube videos, then she got it. She didn’t know about my insomnia and insane 3am youtubing. I hope this is an acceptable middle ground.

 

[bogwoppit]

Tumbling in the park is also a very bad plan. They just get bad habits that are hard to break.

 

[vbdb]

If the coaches have spoken to her about move ups then anything you do over the next few days is going to make zero difference in what they think of her potential. Tumbling at the park on uneven ground could end her up with an injury which will definitely derail things though.
Most of us have been here, it's exciting but completely out of your control. If she's in good hands with her coaches all you can do is take her to training on time, feed and sleep her well and tell her you love her no matter what level she is. The coaches and your daughter will do the rest.

 

[LTmom]

If the coaches have spoken to her about move ups then anything you do over the next few days is going to make zero difference in what they think of her potential. Tumbling at the park on uneven ground could end her up with an injury which will definitely derail things though.
Most of us have been here, it's exciting but completely out of your control. If she's in good hands with her coaches all you can do is take her to training on time, feed and sleep her well and tell her you love her no matter what level she is. The coaches and your daughter will do the rest.

Yes I did think of little potholes in the grass and agree with you. Where do kids practice tumbling? Kids at my gym do it in the house which I absolutely forbid, too small house and too much furniture.

 

[LTmom]

Also realized I failed to mention the coaches have started telling DD to practice at home (after they moved her up), whereas before it was “if you want to.”

 

[vbdb]

What do they want her to practice at home? Practice out of the gym can lead to bad habits if they are doing things that need correction.
I know enough of my DDs teammates with trampolines at home who have terrible form because they spend all their time working on skills they don’t have in the gym already. It’s really hard to break an archy layout on floor when they’ve been doing it for years at home.
Many coaches don’t encourage anything outside of conditioning and stretching.
What level is your DD anyways?

 

[LTmom]

Conditioning and stretching have always been encouraged. As have basics like handstands and cartwheels.
Now though they assigned homework-a new floor routine that literally consists of a bunch of different kinds of forward and backward rolls where they are seated the entire time. No flight. But they also asked her to practice running cartwheel into step ins. Did that and the coach was pretty much glowing with excitement at what DD showed her. Level 2. On her first day in level 2 the coach with hardass reputation talked to DD about moving up again. That set off my alarm bells. She’s not the softy coach who says sweetest things to motivate the kids, ever.