Join team or not?????

[Bajanswife]

My 8 yo DD (Danielle) is on the Level 4 team, starting to uptrain to Level 5. I also have a DD 18 months older than her (Katie), who has done rec gym and goes with her sister to gymnastics camp during school holidays. Katie tried out for team the same time Dani did (in Aug 2009), and they both got accepted. But in the end only Dani joined. Katie loves ballet, didn't want to give it up, but class times clashed. Besides, being on team is expensive, and I felt we could only handle one team member. Plus, all our meets are overseas, so with 2 team members I would have an additional airfare, and I wouldn't be able to cut my hotel cost in half by sharing with another team mom (or it would be more difficult anyway). So everyone seemed happy with the decision for K to stick to ballet and D to do team.

Since then I have seen K gaze longingly at the team girls sometimes (she's at the gym with me on Wednesdays between her Art pickup and D's gym pick-up). She came with us to support the team on our last meet in February. I have talked to her about it a couple of times, and she really sounds on the fence, but she's shy about making her needs known, and she likes to please. So I'm not sure if I'm getting her honest feelings. What really got me thinking today is that I saw the head coach this morning when I dropped both girls to camp (they are currently on school break and doing camp for a week) and she told me she would take Katie on the team tomorrow if she wanted to join. She's has told me that before, but I thought by now Katie's skills would be rusty enough that HC wouldn't want her any more, but no.

So, what to do? It's hard to know if K is being truly honest with me (and herself, quite frankly) when she says she's OK just doing ballet. Will she one day regret that she never got to try team for a year? It would be a financial burden to have her on team too, but OTOH, how is it fair that only D gets to be on team if K really wants it too but is scared to say so because she knows how expensive it is and she knows I was relieved when she initially said she'd stick to the much less expensive ballet? To add to the issues, K is going to be 10 in August, but she'd probably have to start team at Level 3. How will she feel about her younger sister being in a higher level than her? I did ask her that once, when we were debating whether K should start team in Sep 2010, and she claimed it wouldn't bother her, but I'm not sure she can really know that until it happens. She may think she'd be OK with it, but if other kids make comments, even innocent questions like "how come your sister is in a higher level?", will it then start to bother her?

Can you guys just give me some insights, thoughts, opinions on this situation? Should I just take K at her earlier word and carry on with the status quo? Or should I be exploring this some more? How can I really get to the bottom of this with a DD who finds it hard to speak her mind?

 

[Sunobo]

About 4 years ago when my girls got to the point that ballet and gym clashed, I told them they had to choose which one they wanted to stay in or they could even pick something new. It didn't matter to me which sport they picked but it had to be their choice. It also didn't matter if they choose the same thing or different things and no matter what they picked, I would support them in their decision. They also knew they had to stay with it for the season but after that they could change again if they wound up not enjoying their choice.

Now every summer, the girls evaulate what activity they want to participate in. They don't always go the route I would like or that makes my life easier but it is their decision.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

just do it! boy, i love puns..............

 

[gymdog]

Hmm, well, 10 is not too old, but it's old enough for her to realistically understand her younger sister had more practice and will therefore be ahead of her. So I don't think from what you've described about her personality, that will be the biggest problem? I think the other kids should understand this too, but even if they do ask I think "she started before me" would be a pretty straightforward answer.

The financial commitment is tough though, especially since you guys don't have any local meets. Could your daughter maybe train one year in L3 and participate in team exhibitions and such, but not compete? I don't know how she would feel about that, but it might be an option to explore, and then maybe think about competing in L4. If she still wants to do it then, and might decide she likes it more than ballet, then that would free up time and money and you'd have a clearer answer.

Or, maybe she could just do one of the meets.

 

[mustlovejumping]

From how you described her, K's personality sounds a lot like mine when I was younger. It seems like she would like to try being on team, and if it didn't work out for whatever reason or she changed her mind, she could always go back to ballet the next year. And as for her sister being in a higher level, she sounds old enough and mature enough to understand why. There might be a little bit of jealousy sometimes, but I think that's kind of inevitable for sisters who are close in age no matter what the circumstances are :]

 

[Bajanswife]

Thanks for all the thoughts so far. It's always good to bounce things like this off of others, to get new perspectives.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

gamba!................................

 

[agymmom]

If you think you can swing it financially, I think I would just approach K and tell her it's her choice to make - gym or ballet. Let her know that the gym would like her back and you would support her doing it and if at any time she decides she prefers ballet, she is free to switch back. Also, would it be possible for both girls to only do some meets to help bring the cost down a little? I also like the idea of training for a year and maybe competing level 4 the following year. If the gym would agree to that, that would help reduce cost and might also help her get skills more quickly since she wouldn't have to spend time focusing on routines.

If she really wants to try team, I don't think the level thing will end up being that big of deal.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

We have a set of twins at our gym and 1 of the girls started gym a couple of years before the other. They are both 8 years old. 1 is L7 and the other L5.

 

[hawaii_gymnast]

If Katie still loves ballet, could she possibly do Rec Gym and Ballet, and then decide she can decide which one she wants to spend more time on or if she is happy doing a little of both?