Parents New to XCel Bronze - Crying?

[SPZ_Down]

This!!! When my five year old started bronze and went from two hours a week to six hours a week and a new gym with everyone 2-5 years older than her I felt so bad when she would cry that I would sit there the entire three hour practice. It made things worse. I started leaving and the coach had my number if my kiddo was too upset but once I left she adjusted in maybe two practices and came out tired but smiling.

My now seven year old never cries in practice unless she gets hurt but also has some trouble still during transitions- at the end of seasons when groups change and skills upgrade etc but she usually adjusts within a few weeks of me just letting it be and not making a big deal of it.

I’d say let it ride and try not to show her how upset her being upset makes you. It’ll become clear fairly quickly if she’s going to adjust or not. Kids are adaptable but it is a big transition for sure.

Thank you for sharing! I’m honestly thinking it’s the change in coaches, friends, and the uncertainty of what’s expected of her that’s stressing her out. Once she sees that everyone else is getting critiqued, learning, etc I think she will relax. Or at least I hope so. I know I would probably feel the same way as her if I was 6!

I am doing my best to hide any stress. This has been a learning lesson for me too, as she’s our oldest and first time we are experiencing these types of sport-related issues. I’m going to give it a few more weeks before I come to any conclusions. I’m really hoping the advice I’m giving her helps!

 

[LikesToSki]

This seems so familiar to me from last year! My then 6 y.o kiddo switched from rec to team (mostly 7-11 y.o.s) and there were frequent tears in the first weeks. But for us, about a month in, when everything switched to summer schedule and there wasn't *also* school, things started going way better and she had a fun year on team. But another girl, same age (also crying a lot in those practices), did decide to switch to pre-team. Things also went totally fine for her and she's now on team this year, so it's not a huge deal either way!

And just sounds like you're doing great supporting your kid so far, keep it up!

 

[SPZ_Down]

This seems so familiar to me from last year! My then 6 y.o kiddo switched from rec to team (mostly 7-11 y.o.s) and there were frequent tears in the first weeks. But for us, about a month in, when everything switched to summer schedule and there wasn't *also* school, things started going way better and she had a fun year on team. But another girl, same age (also crying a lot in those practices), did decide to switch to pre-team. Things also went totally fine for her and she's now on team this year, so it's not a huge deal either way!

And just sounds like you're doing great supporting your kid so far, keep it up!

I'm hoping something switches for us too! Tomorrow is the 3 hour practice - fingers crossed. Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience and for the words of encouragement.

 

[fuzi]

I just want to chime in from a coaches perspective and reiterate two things:

First, transitions are just hard for some people. I am thinking of a gymnast who cried and clung to her her mom’s leg at the start of every practice and competition until she was 8. That goodbye/transition was always hard for her, especially when anything else was new (start of a new school year, new babysitter, new coach, whatever). At first, mom would stay, but that made it worse; so mom started leaving for at least the first half hour even if just to take a walk. She’d cry and sometimes not want to join, but would hop in on warm-up and be smiling by 10 minutes in. She’s 14 or 15 and a level 9 now and certainly loves gymnastics.

Second, self-help sources often claim that “it takes three weeks to build a habit,” but various scientific studies have shown that it can take much longer than that, and two months seems to be a more consistent minimum. It is normal (and to be expected) that it will take her a month or two (or more!) to adapt to the new routine and the physical and mental demands.

My suggestion to families struggling with these kind of adjustments is to “give it a season” (not necessarily a competitive season, but a literal, months of the year season). Obviously, if the environment is abusive or it’s rising to the level of causing mental/physical harm, that’s a different story, but a lot can change in a few months. Let her practice with this XB group for the summer. You and her will know by the end of the summer if it’s right to continue or if a change is needed.

 

[fuzi]

ADDING ONE MORE THING from a coach’s perspective : If she is melting down mid-practice, is she drinking enough water? Could her coach remind her/everyone to hydrate? Does she need a snack? Many gyms run 2-4 hour practices without a snack break, but sometimes they (especially the younger ones) just need more fuel. Can she keep a snack in her cubby and take a few bites at the 90 minute mark?