Parents Keeping up gymnast's spirit?

[Jennemmy]

Over winter break, our gym has a shorter sched so the whole team practices at the same time. My dd just comes home crestfallen after sharing the gym with the tops training girls. She wants to be in that group so badly. I feel like I can't come up with the right words to say other than keep working hard. Focus on your goals. Any suggestions?

 

[gymjoy]

That's so hard.
But you are on the right path by trying to keep her focused on her goals and working hard for those. Her goal can be joining the tops girls. HOWEVER, Tops is not the thing that decides who is successful in gymnastics. I would say, and I am making a guess based on my experience with gymnastics over the last 7+ years, that more of the successful gymnast at elite/Level10/College levels did not do Tops. Also, many, many Tops girls do not go on to be high level gymnast. (If you are the parent of a Tops girl, I am not trying to speak against you or what your dd is doing. It does have its benefits, its just not the end all, be all some gyms make it out to be...)

So talk to your dd about how success as a gymnast comes in many different forms, and that working hard and focusing on her goals is the best way to be one of those successful gymnast. Talk to her about what her long term goals are for herself, and help her set short term goals to reach those.

I don't know how old or what level your dd is, but anything is possible. Let her know that.

 

[Jennemmy]

I think her frustration is looking at the why. She has outperformed many of the girls in the group and from a purely score perspective she should be in that group. I see her side of it. They do look like they are having more fun, working on bigger skills but I think she does well because she is focused on the routines day to day. She wants to be out there throwing dbl tucks too but right now her focus is getting rid of bobbles in her beam routine. Not as exciting but maybe I can find background on some of her college favorites to show "the path not taken". Thank you!

 

[IrenicMom]

For my daughter, she is her own motivator. Nothing I say or do influences her nearly as much as her own internal voice. So, when she's frustrated, I try to ask open ended questions - with the ultimate goal being to get her to basically "think outloud". She'll usually find her own answer, and it's always much better than anything I could have come up with!

As far as TOPs v non-TOPs - It's sad for me to hear that it causes such a division for her. That doesn't sound like a very teambuilding environment. At my daughter's gym, all the team girls practice together at team practices - the only time TOPs girls are together is at an additional practice. And only at TOPs practice do they work on uptraining and TOPs conditioning, per se. To have them integrated at all other times makes for a stronger team.

 

[gymjoy]

The tortoise won the race It is something my dd learned when she reached her goals of being asked to join the highest level training group in her gym. (where training groups are not always split by competitive levels) Yes, those girls where having fun, but they also work really, really hard on really, really hard skills. While trying to play catch-up to most of that group, dd nearly burned out. She finally realized that she needed to set her own pace and path. While it is not always smooth sailing, she is no longer crashing on the rocks.

Here are a couple of links to help research background on tops girls:

Link Removed

MyMeetScores.com

At the meet scores one pick any name off the tops list and type it in. The results would make a nice bell-curve; a few go on to elite/big name college, most are average as optionals, and a few go nowhere.

 

[Jennemmy]

Irenicmom - I think our Tops are chosen mostly on strength ability so they tend to work out as their own group with lots of rope climbing, leg lifts etc as bulk of practice. Normally, we wouldn't see them on the same day but you're right. It does cause some inner conflict among the team girls. Esp when my dd sees the vaulting drills. She won 1st at states for vault so she kept saying "I was the champion." It was kind of funny but sad at the same time. She is pretty confident so it is just this week that has been tough I think. (Late nights over break haven't helped.

Gymjoy - Thank you, thank you! She will love the tortoise analogy. It is right up her alley as the kid that was avg and now it pulling ahead. And I am grateful for the link.

On a side note, have we lost the button to thank user for their posts?

 

[B Gymnast]

On a side note, have we lost the button to thank user for their posts?

I think we have, but you could always do the "add to user's reputation button''

 

[lhmom]

When my DD was getting a bit discouraged about skills, I asked one of the older optional girls she looks up to talk with her about her first year competing. It seemed to help-things really started clicking for her. Sometimes hearing something from others has more of an impact than from a parent. At our gym, TOPS is not used so we don't have to deal with that. Good luck!