Coaches Kicking out a Family?

[PalmTree]

Hi Coaches/Owners -
Have you ever had to actually kick a parent/kid out of your gym? What was the situation and how did you handle it? Did it work out? I daydream about this possibility daily...

 

[gymnastbeth]

Not a gym owner, but we had a girl kicked out of my gym. She was ALWAYS talking back to the coach, swearing, and was difficult to work with. Almost daily she was asked to leave the gym because of her attitude. One day it just got to be too much and she was not allowed back. It was a long time coming, definitely not an easy choice for them to make, because she was a really good level 9. She found a new gym for the next season, fast forward 6 months, and she is kicked out of her new gym.

 

[Mustanggal99]

I had to ask a kid to leave due to attitude and no coaches willing to work with her due to her attitude. She would throw herself down on the mats when she was mad and was a really bad example for our younger gymnasts (she was 13 at the time). She would talk back to the coaches and wouldn't listen and refuse to throw skills. She recently competed with our high school team and had a much better attitude and actually apologized to the coaches. I hated to do it but I refuse to let the attitude of one gymnast bring down the whole team and that's what was happening.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Hi Coaches/Owners -
Have you ever had to actually kick a parent/kid out of your gym? What was the situation and how did you handle it? Did it work out? I daydream about this possibility daily...

yes. many reasons. just threw them out nicely. those daydreams will then turn to nightmares when you need your rest. which then lead to migraines during gym. act now or pay the price of feeling miserable all the time and ruining what you love to do.

 

[PalmTree]

THANK YOU all! It is possible and necessary

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Unfortunately several times over the past 10 years. For various reasons, sometimes it's the parent, sometimes its the kid. tell us what the situation is and perhaps we can give you better instruction.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Every gym will have to do it sooner or later. Many reasons for it. A kid who is aggressive with other kids, serious behavioural problems, parents who refuse to pay their bills.

 

[CoachGoofy]

We've done it once. ONCE.

...well I think technically we told them that another gym would serve their needs better. Parent would sign kid up for a meet, kid would then be a no show, rarely came to practice...and her mom was mad that she wasn't progressing. Um so you have to be in the gym to learn skills. If you're going to take all of soccer season off, we'll grin and bear it, but if you do that then get angry that your child loses skills, we're just not going to deal with that-especially when verbally abusing coaches starts. No one's tuition covers that kind of hazard pay.

 

[bookworm]

We had a girl asked to leave our gym last year, right before states for severe (and illegal) behavioral "issues"...she thought her parents would get her back in but no dice...it was the best thing the gym ever did and there have been no regrets getting rid of the rifraff...and no other gym in the area has been willing to take her on either...

 

[JBS]

Yes...once a decision has been made to remove them...just have the owner let them know that they are no longer welcome. One is normal...if you find yourself wanting to kick out many...there is probably an issue.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Yes...once a decision has been made to remove them...just have the owner let them know that they are no longer welcome. One is normal...if you find yourself wanting to kick out many...there is probably an issue.

==
Thats for sure! lol sometimes I want to kick half them out!

 

[shadow]

I had to ask a kid to leave due to attitude and no coaches willing to work with her due to her attitude. She would throw herself down on the mats when she was mad and was a really bad example for our younger gymnasts (she was 13 at the time). She would talk back to the coaches and wouldn't listen and refuse to throw skills. She recently competed with our high school team and had a much better attitude and actually apologized to the coaches. I hated to do it but I refuse to let the attitude of one gymnast bring down the whole team and that's what was happening.

We are going to have to as a family to leave this august, similar to this situation. We have to wait so late because of a prior commitment we made for a competition and it is way to late to back out without causing problems. This girl has lots of attitude issues and its getting worse week after week. We have talked to her parents multiple times and told us (word for word) That her attitude is our problem and we have to deal with it. She refuses to do skills and tells me all the time she is not doing something because it is "too hard". She gets upset when a team mate learns a new skill. She literally sat down and cried when 3 of her team mates did their first giants instead of congratulating them. This is only a few examples of every practice. We even had multiple parents come talk to us about her behavior. So, this august we are asking our first family to leave.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

We are going to have to as a family to leave this august, similar to this situation. We have to wait so late because of a prior commitment we made for a competition and it is way to late to back out without causing problems. This girl has lots of attitude issues and its getting worse week after week. We have talked to her parents multiple times and told us (word for word) That her attitude is our problem and we have to deal with it. She refuses to do skills and tells me all the time she is not doing something because it is "too hard". She gets upset when a team mate learns a new skill. She literally sat down and cried when 3 of her team mates did their first giants instead of congratulating them. This is only a few examples of every practice. We even had multiple parents come talk to us about her behavior. So, this august we are asking our first family to leave.

==
Don't you just love those parents!

 

[CreateMagic]

Could you start sending her out of practice when she pulls this crap and let her parents know that 3x 's and you're out? Obviously I don't know the entirety of the situation, but with that attitude from the parent, it sounds like the sooner the better...

 

[shadow]

Could you start sending her out of practice when she pulls this crap and let her parents know that 3x 's and you're out? Obviously I don't know the entirety of the situation, but with that attitude from the parent, it sounds like the sooner the better...

This girl lives an hour away and she carpools with about 5 other girls. So her mother drives once every month or so... i think we have been putting it off because she is talented and we were/are trying different strategies... i guess... too see if anything will work for her... and as i said, this is the first family we have ever thought about asking to leave. I think the HC/Owner was trying to keep her but it just isn't working.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

i think we have been putting it off because she is talented and we were/are trying different strategies... i guess... too see if anything will work for her...

I think this is a mistake we often make as coaches/owners. Never make exceptions for poor behavior based on your assessment of talent. Shape up or ship out. By making exceptions you just delay the process and everyone else has to suffer for that much longer. Every kid in the gym should be able to see that poor behavior is not tolerated from anyone ever. I would not even wait for the competitions to be over. I always try and remind myself how I would deal with talented child's situation of they were the least talented child in the gym.

 

[shadow]

I think this is a mistake we often make as coaches/owners. Never make exceptions for poor behavior based on your assessment of talent. Shape up or ship out. By making exceptions you just delay the process and everyone else has to suffer for that much longer. Every kid in the gym should be able to see that poor behavior is not tolerated from anyone ever. I would not even wait for the competitions to be over. I always try and remind myself how I would deal with talented child's situation of they were the least talented child in the gym.

I believe you are right^^ and that is way we are exhausted when we leave practice. This year, the HC has finally had enough and in the end it is up to him if she needs to go.

 

[Gymsanity]

It sounds like many still struggle with throwing kids/parents out, as I once did. Hopefully, you can get over it quicker than I did, as the quality of your program and life will improve dramatically. I used to feel the same way about how much time I had invested in them, how talented they were, how much money they bring in, etc. Not any more!! I'm straight up front with the kids/parents that I don't care if you are Shannon Miller, you don't have enough talent for me, my staff, or the other gymnasts to have to put up with any garbage from you. Period! In the past I've had to back that up by throwing out 2nd place at East/West, level 8 State Champion, etc. Unlike others, I do it in a loud and public way as an example to the others that it simply won't be tolerated. Believe me, the others took notice. I haven't tossed anyone out for a couple of years now, although about a month ago I sent my top girl home for a couple of days for breaking a rule. I gave her the ultimatum of either shaping up or finding a new gym. An apology and hug later, all is well. I've had numerous peers tell me that my gym is one of the 'happiest' gyms they have ever seen. The largest part of that comes from the fact everyone, and I mean everyone, is nice, courteous, and respectful to each other. Out of all the kids/parents that I've had to throw out (8-10 of them), I have but only one regret............I waited too damn long every time!! Learn from my mistakes, the sooner you get rid of the bad apples, the sooner you will have a healthier and happier club and life.