Women Mental Block?

[jen0423]

So my DD is new level 3 and is 7 is struggling w/ her front hip circle. We have video of her making the front hip - just a tap on the leg from the coach. But, she flat out gives up doing it in her routine when someone isn't standing next to her. She is the last one on her team - we have had one meet already and she didn't get to compete in bars (I totally trust our coaches/gym on this rule, I saw other gyms letting kids compete with spot and/or had trouble on events and it looked very unpolished). It is a complete mental block on her part. We have paid for private lessons, I have sent her to every open gym. I know that once she gets it by herself one time it will be like a light bulb goes off and no problem - however in the meantime its very frustrating! She is the youngest on her team and the only one to not compete all 4 events.

I realize I am rambling, I am just frustrated with the situation. I realize this too shall pass and it will all be a distant memory soon - what can I do in the meantime other than just support support support and tell her how proud of her I am. I think we built up this front hip circle so big it is messing with her mojo.

 

[MeetDirector]

You said it - this too shall pass. To help the passing, don't say a single word about it from this point forward. Not in the car after practice, not at home, period. Let it go. In fact, redirect the discussions completely away from gym. Don't stress about it - she has to own the skill for herself, not for anyone else. She is 7 and this is going to happen many, many more time in her gymnastics career. You have to develop strategies to just let these things stay within the confines of the gym and not come home. If you think this is bad, just wait for the dreaded kip then the giants, then all the other scary stuff on beam - I could go on and on.

Good Luck

 

[jen0423]

Thank you, it is exactly what I needed to hear! It sucks when you know she can do it but you are right - has to be for her!

 

[LIGYMMOM]

You said it - this too shall pass. To help the passing, don't say a single word about it from this point forward. Not in the car after practice, not at home, period. Let it go. In fact, redirect the discussions completely away from gym. Don't stress about it - she has to own the skill for herself, not for anyone else. She is 7 and this is going to happen many, many more time in her gymnastics career. You have to develop strategies to just let these things stay within the confines of the gym and not come home. If you think this is bad, just wait for the dreaded kip then the giants, then all the other scary stuff on beam - I could go on and on.

Good Luck

Amen...something we cannot be reminded of enough! It is only added pressure when we parents bring it up. I do not ask about specific skills anymore. If she brings it up I just listen and encourage.

 

[iwannacoach]

She's 7 years old, go figure!

Well maybe a sincere answer would be more suited to your question. She's 7 years old and working new L3. In my mind she's a bit ahead of the curve, and will be further ahead the moment she "gets it"..... and trust me she'll get it eventually. Imagine a kid who couldn't learn a front hip circle at level 10. I can't, and you'll never see one because they all their skills pretty much in batches. So it's kinda like all L3 skills are learned during a fairly short span of time, but that doesn't mean there can't be a skill that falls slightly out of that window.

Be thankful you've done right by her in getting her into, perhaps by accident but who cares, a program where the coaches won't rush such a young kid to compete an incomplete routine.... with or without a spot. The process she's going through will teach her some valuable lessons that will help her for the rest of her career..... so smile and let the lesson be learned.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

You said it - this too shall pass. To help the passing, don't say a single word about it from this point forward. Not in the car after practice, not at home, period. Let it go. In fact, redirect the discussions completely away from gym. Don't stress about it - she has to own the skill for herself, not for anyone else. She is 7 and this is going to happen many, many more time in her gymnastics career. You have to develop strategies to just let these things stay within the confines of the gym and not come home. If you think this is bad, just wait for the dreaded kip then the giants, then all the other scary stuff on beam - I could go on and on.

Good Luck

spoken like a veteran...

 

[MeetDirector]

Dunno, I am honored and humbled by your reply; thank you. For everyone else, I have said it before and will say it again - once you reach the point in your dd's gymnastics career where you let go of the sport yourself and understand that it is hers and that the coaches are there to help her succeed, it is a huge weight off of your shoulders. That trust point does not come easily, but it is worth it when you get there. Knowing that the coaches will do everything they humanly can to keep your dd safe is a huge point; we saw it last season with crazy flipping vaults and are very thankful. You have to realize that there is absolutely nothing that you can do to get your athlete over a mental block other than "keep the home fires burning" and provide the sanctuary that they sometimes need to remove themselves from the constant mental pressure.

Hang in there everyone, and best of luck and safe travels in the upcoming season.

 

[roll123]

Thank you for your post meet director. I have read and re-read this post and it makes so much sense. I started letting go yesterday and its hard, but you are so right, it doesn't matter how much I want it, she needs to want it. It has taken me 2 years to really fully realize this but your post really hit home.

 

[jen0423]

I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply. So I did let go, it was a great week. She ended up getting the skill and was able to compete in bars yesterday. She was happy to compete in all four events again.

When she got the trick - she said it was because she was wearing her lucky leo, I said "nope, it's because you believed in yourself".

Thanks again folks, I really appreciate your advice and "been theres"

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I for one believe in the power of the "lucky leo". My DD passed her kip test and did her first long hang pullover in her lucky leo! Then she outgrew it! I say if it makes them feel more confident then by all means wear that darn thing every day if you have too! Sort of the placebo effect I guess!!

 

[Ekat]

Another piece of advice, when the going gets tough…. Run out of the gym! By that I mean do not stay and watch, even if you don’t say anything the frustration from both sides will be palpable. It’s so much easier to stay calm and not make a big deal of it when you don’t see the struggle and the when other kids are getting the skill while your DD is stuck. Instead you come here and vent. I think it’s how most of us end up here.