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Deleted member D3987
the kid is not done. as i said, hang on for the ride. she's probable going to be very good in time.
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I believe that kids do the things they do, better or worse, for a reason. Sometimes we try to put a label on a child's behavior and end up getting it completely wrong, so be careful not to judge her as you won't be able to see the obvious reason right before your eyes, or hear it as she tries her best to communicate it with the limited ability a 10 yo child is cursed with.
I've been down this road more than a few times and know how frustrating it can be to work with a child who has "exotic sports car" physical gifts but is driving an "old clunker" when it come to the other characteristics that create a "gymnast". Here are some suspicions that may lead you on your honorable "quest" to "help" this child, and remember these are only suggestions:
She has her own agenda that makes sense to her...you have your's, and with-in that context, the battles ensue.
She can't appreciate her gifts as they have been there all her life. She may think everybody else is crazy for singling her out for advanced training.
She has "watched" a lot of gymnastics and has applied her own logic to the laws of physics that govern human movement, and much of what you say makes no sense at all. In her mental image she see's good where you see bad.
Her flashes of brilliance are only temporary deviations from the above possibilities, and her "exceptions" are the result of being "broken down". Fast forward to the obvious result of this reality.
She doesn't give a ^%$# sandwich about all the gymnastics corrections, she's just a common 10 yo who happens to have uncanny abilities and likes getting "flippy and twisty".
She's ADHD and can't think past what's happening right now that grabs her attention or interest. This is immensely frustrating for her as she feels constant criticism from all angles in every aspect of her life. It's very destuctive when you consider she is only taking in information that finds it's way to the forefront of her attention, and then only for that moment until something else facinating comes along. Please use that as information rather than criticism, as I can tell you have the best intentions at heart.
She just needs to mature and have fun in the process of learning "intermediate skills" until something clicks for her. I was this way because I started in High School with a "wanna-be football settled for gymnastics coach" who knew just enough to keep us from getting hurt, and nothing more. It took just one year with a coach in college to turn me into one of the best in the country on my favorite event. But those were the old days when a scale on the unevens was still in the code of points.
Try talking to this kid several times in the most "non fault" manner possible. Do not try to guide the discussion to her behavior, let her do that for you. Take her information as valid and credible, and then go make some sense out of it. You may just be opening the door for a child with exceptional physical talent, and remember that this talent should not be a liability and curse to her.
Hang in there, it's difficult to go through this, and I admire you for you effort, Just remember IMO you can't be the solution, you can only help her find one, if she wants one.
yeah i'm not looking to diagnose it, i am just looking for ways (maybe for people who have seen this before) to address it, either through punishment, or whatnot...
I have to disagree with your assessment that she is "done." She might be, but it could also just be a personality/anxiety characteristic. My son can be the same way-if he thinks he did something wrong or disappointed his teacher, coach, or even my husband or me, he will effectively 'shut down,' just like this girl is doing. For him, it is related to some anxiety and perfection issues and we have been working on it since he was in 3 year old preschool. We have had repeated problems with teachers who think he doesn't understand them because he will absolutely refuse to answer with a kind of 'deer in the headlights' look. Now, when he gets like this, he will not answer any question, but this girl might because it is not drawing attention to her performance, who knows? My son is slowly improving, but we have worked with him pretty diligently and have even put him in a private school that works much better with his personality and that has helped, as has the increase in maturity as he has gotten older. I still also stay for his classes at the gym, so if I see this behavior with his coach, the first thing he has to do the following class is apologize, but he really can't help it in the moment and fortunately it doesn't happen often in gymnastics and on the rare occassions it does happen, his coach understands. Unless you havehad a child like tbis, it ishard to understand that they are not being little sh^#s on purpose, but because of how they are.