Parents move ups and the drama begins

[clrmom]

So, dd is moving up to level 3. Her entire group of level 2s are moving up (about 14 girls). They are all very excited. That is the good news.

DD's group has competed in both the fall and spring seasons. In the spring season a new group of Level 2s competed as well. They practiced on different nights but were with the girls at competitions. These girls had been on pre-team before moving up.

This group is also moving up to level 3 and will now be on the same nights as dd's group. (Making the group about 20 girls--we have two coaches) This is where the drama begins.

Several of the parents in dd's group are upset that the other group of level 2s are moving up with our girls. This is for two reasons. One: the idea of the group growing and becoming quite a large group. And Two: the idea that the "new" level 2s are moving up quicker than our girls.

Personally, I feel that if the coaches think they are ready then they should be moved up although I agree that the group will now be too large. When my dd heard the girls were moving up her initial reaction was "that isn't fair they just started level 2" I pointed out to her that they scored very well during competitions and that seemed to make sense to her. I just hope the parent drama won't trickle down to the girls.

Anyway, I am mainly just venting because so far the year has been pretty drama free and I have a feeling that is going to be changing.

I figured most of you would understand.

 

[sally]

I don't think I would be happy with them moving up either. Only because the group is way to large. Ten in each group, are the new level 3 the same standard as the team you are already in. Maybe they could hire a jnr to help out the two main coaches.

 

[NewtoGym]

I agree with you that it really doesn't matter that the group started after your group. It really just depends on the skill. If they have the skills. they are ready. My daughter's level 3 team was large as well. 18. Kids were added throughout the year and now most of them will move up to four. It is just how it is at most gyms for the lower levels. A lot of kids will start falling out of the sport with level 4 and level 5. If the coaches are competent the kids should do fine. Just think, it will keep the cost of tuition down! lol Good luck!

 

[bogwoppit]

I am sure it will be fine and this way they can break it down into two groups of 10, a good coach can handle that. If not they'll bring someone else in.

AS you say, clrmom, if the kids are ready, then they are ready. The other parents will complain for a while, then they will complain that their kid is being put in the "lower" group with them, then they will complain that the new kids are better than their kids etc etc. Some people just love to complain, then there are the awesome ones, like you, who get the big picture!

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

Are we cosmically related somehow? I could have written your post as we are in the same situation with my DD and her team and level and move ups and adding in "new" girls.

Hang in there- so far the road has been bumpy and I have just sat back and watched the ride with amusement (and a little bit of horror that grownups act the way they do). It will all blow over eventually.

 

[cathiann]

You'll find this happening alot more as the kids progress through the levels--girls will move up based on skill (hopefully!) not length of time they've been at a level. How would it be fair to hold kids back just because they didn't stay in one level as long?

And hopefully your gym will add coaches, so that while the group as a whole is larger, the girls will be broken into smaller groups for practice.

 

[Bella's Mom]

I'm a mom of one of the "new" girls during moveups. Our gym has decided that they will no longer compete L3. So my daughter, who would have been an L3 this next comp year is now moved up to the L4 group which obviously contains the girls who did compete L3 last year. I have heard a few whispered comments about my daughter and two others in the same situation not being "real" L4s. I ignore them.

Yes, my daughter has some polishing to do and still has a few consistency issues (shoot through and ROBHS) but the coach decided to move her up to the L4 team rather than having her stay in pre-team for another year so I'm not sure how that makes my daughter an "imaginary" L4. I get that she and her other friend are a bit younger than the other girls but I don't think a 7YO L4 is some big rarity. So I let the comments go and ignore them. It's not a contest for crying out loud. It's not like my daughter is taking a spot from someone else so I don't get why a few other parents are upset about the new moveups.

 

[NGL780309]

Some parents just don't get that you don't have to spend a certain amount of time in each level. You move up when you are ready and that's the coaches business, not the other parents. I'm sensitive to this because I had this drama at my DD's gym. Nobody thought my DD should be moved to Level 5 because the norm is to spend 2 years at Level 4 at this gym and she hadn't even done 1 year. I had to hear that she hadnt "paid her dues". Whatever that means. All you can really do in this situation is sit quiet and let your DD's progress speak for itself. I don't like to compare kids and scores, but when someone is ugly like that, you have no choice. I can't say I wasn't secretly gloating inside when her DD and my DD went to a meet. My DD scored a little over a 37AA and her DD scored a 31 something. I think that speaks for itself. And now that DD has been training Level 5 she is more than keeping up with the other kids. So what can they say at that point? It's unfortunate that parents can be so mean.

 

[gym law mom]

This won't be the last you hear of move up angst. The kids will do fine working together if the parents stay out of it. A coach to gymnast ration of 1:10 isn't that bad if handled well. Hopefully they'll have 1 or 2 helpers to keep the groups running smoothly.

 

[thefellowsmom]

My daughter was also one of those "new" kids. Not only did she skip over a level, but moved up mid season. There were a few puzzled looks, whispers and awkward moments in the beginning, but now a few months later she is being embraced by the rest of the girls and the team moms are are starting to let me in as well.

Unfortunately, there will always be parents that are competitive with their kids and the move up situation. But what I have learned from the whole thing is that a good coaching system will look at each child as an individual and create a plan for that child. With my daughters body type and personal talents and challenges, the plan for her is different than for another girl who is a different age or body type with different talents and challenges.

I am glad that they are looking at my daughter as an individual and not one of just a group of girls and I think that the other parents now see that if they do that for my daughter, chances are they are doing that for their daughter as well.

 

[Bella's Mom]

And it's not like it's the kid's fault too. that's the part that bothers me....that my daughter might be labeled "less than" when she didn't ask to be put on the L4 team. The coach decided to stop competing L3, not my daughter. And ironically enough, the daughter of a particularly mean set of parents is....surprise surprise....saying mean things about my daughter's ability and whether or not she should be on the team.

 

[Blazing15]

I feel that if they are ready to move up then they need to move up. There is always going to be talk no matter what. Just ignore it and do what's best for your child. Me and another mom always say when we have a new girl join hey look we got another new girl. Heck yeah our costs will be going down. LOL(the more the girls the lower the costs) I do believe. But even if not the lowering of the costs if the children are ready it's best to move them up instead of holding them back and not progressing at all.

 

[Coacharella]

Jealousy, is a disgusting thing! Poor kids, poor kids.

 

[clrmom]

Thanks for understanding. It was good to get some other perspectives. Everyone at our gym has always gotten along very well. Hopefully this will just be a small "drama."

Bella's mom: Hopefully everyone will realize that your dd deserves to move up and will leave it at that. And they will keep the kids out of their issue with how the coach chooses to do things.