Anon Move ups

[Anonymous (9f14)]

My daughter is 10 on Xcel silver and her whole team moved to gold except her. She’s having a really tough time handling it. She knows she needed another year in silver but she fought as well as I that some would stay back with her. No matter what I say she is embarrassed and she is going to miss her friends. Any suggestions on how to handle this. I’m devastated for her. She loves the bong they share.

 

[Anonymous (e748)]

She loves the bong they share.

LOL. I got stuck on this. Yes, I'm that immature.

Honestly, in these situations sometimes saying less is more. I'm assuming that you've already said all the things to her and now you two are just rehashing what happened which is not very productive. At this point I would keep things focused on the future w/o dwelling. Her feeling sad and even embarrassed is natural. She will make friends with her new Silver teammates and she can step up and be a leader in this group. I guarantee you the kids coming up to Silver don't see it the way your DD does and many will will look up to her because she's already experienced. Simply remind her that you believe in her and her coaches believe in her and keep the comments short and sweet.

 

[Anonymous (9f14)]

Thank you. I agree with you 100%. The only issue I have is the girls coming up are 6-8 years old . That’s where the problem lies

 

[Anonymous (9f14)]

Whoops BOND

 

[Anonymous (e748)]

Thank you. I agree with you 100%. The only issue I have is the girls coming up are 6-8 years old . That’s where the problem lies

Totally agree that's rough. My daughter was 2-3 years older than her cohort for a few years. It was awkward and at times I considered a gym change for her but my daughter never wanted to quit or change gyms.

 

[Anonymous (c3ef)]

Thank you. I agree with you 100%. The only issue I have is the girls coming up are 6-8 years old . That’s where the problem lies

Then they will definitely look up to her. She can be a strong leader for them.
Being the oldest and most experienced can be a good thing. Maybe try to help her embrace it ... and see if there would be time to still hang out with her friends.

 

[Anonymous (e951)]

I want to start off by saying that I know there is a difference developmentally between an 8yo and 10yo vs. a 15yo and 17yo, but when I was a teenager, I was older than all of my other teammates by 2-3 years. Depsite this, we all became really close friends, and the age difference honestly did not matter that much at gym. Even if your daughter has a hard time bonding with the younger girls, she can definitely be a "big sister" to them, and they FOR SURE will look up to her.

 

[Anonymous (4cfd)]

The age difference tends to not matter as much. I was a good 3-4 years older than my teammates (who were competing at a higher level too - they competed 8 while I was in Diamond). We were all pretty close.

 

[Anonymous (b122)]

As they oldest one in my group, I get along much better with the younger girls than the older girls

 

[Anonymous (9f14)]

I am considering a change if that’s what she wants. She is an only child , so her gym girls are like her sisters. It’s really been hard on her and I can’t keep talking it to death, we are so proud of her and we tell her all the time. Again it’s not about staying In Silver it’s more about the girls and not being with them.

As they oldest one in my group, I get along much better with the younger girls than the older girls

i understand that but my daughter loved her group and she now feels that she’s going to not be apart of the group anymore.
She also feels like the coaches hate her. I just don’t know what to do. And she’s 10

 

[Anonymous (cf65)]

Annual move-ups and the shifting around of teammates sucks every year, honestly. It's hard for both those left down and those moving up without their friends, especially in the tween years where the friendship aspect is such an important part of the sport. Every kid is different but my daughter would be miserable on a team where she was the oldest by a few years. She's always gravitated towards her older teammates though. I agree with the above poster who said to keep your comments short and sweet and just see how the first few weeks goes - hopefully her coaches will assign her with "leadership" type roles (lead stretch, help explain where to go as rotations change, etc) and maybe that will help? I feel for you and her and hope it all turns out okay in the end!

 

[Anonymous (6dd4)]

It might help to let daughter know that it's highly likely that if she sticks out this year and moves up to Gold she will probably be back with some of her friends as it is unlikely that they will all move up.