Women New Fears.

[Deanna]

Well, DD is about 3 wks out from her first meet of the season (Dec 14th~16th).
The coach came to me on wednesday and said...DD has developed a fear of vault (going over the table), and of her 2 back handsprings on floor. So strong is her fear on floor that she won't even do the single BHS she competed last year.
She has gotten over the vault all summer. (granted it is SLOOOOOW and arched..but she gets over and clears it). And she was the first to get her ROBHSBHS on floor. (she even did this at a little program they put on for the schools back in May..this was just on the runway strip on a basketball floor). But now all the sudden..she is terrified to do both.
Coach said this started about a month ago and has increased till she is now at the point where she won't do it at all. They do not know where the fear is coming from. She has not gotten hurt doing it. She has not seen anyone else get hurt doing it. (she did see a couple girls get hurt bad on bars..but she has no fear on bars). It is something she was doing before and doing well. Even Kadee doesn't know why she is afraid of it all the sudden.
I would think possible vestibular issue..but, she has no problem with bars, or beam. She can even do a back walkover on high beam.
I'm just not sure. Beam and bars are her best events...floor and vault not as much. Could it be a confidence issue?
Her coach came to me to see if there was someway I could help them help her. They have tried everything they can think of..and it just isn't working. They are 3 wks out from their first competition..and it is looking like she may have to sit out floor and vault, until she gets her ducks back in a row. Which she is very very upset about.
She says when she goes back to gym tomorrow that she is going to do it no matter how scared she is..because in her heart she knows she can..it's just her head getting in her way.
I really don't know what to say to her, but be supportive. Tell her she will get it back. It's not a skill she is trying to learn..she just has to find it again.
She says when she goes back she will look all over the gym..because she knows it has to be there somewhere..that's where it was last time she saw it..lol. Love her attitude. Just hope she "finds" it soon!
Any advice? What to tell her now? What happens if she doesn't "find" it and she doesn't get to compete it? What to say then, to keep her spirits up, so she goes out there and rocks the two she is competing?
Thanks everyone.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

don't make the "goal" the competition. the goal and objective is to take her time and get the skills back safely.

 

[Deanna]

Thanks, dunno. I know not to focus on the competition. But she is locked on it right now. She is so afraid she will not be able to compete floor and vault and that has her all kinds of upset.
I'm just worried that if she is not able to compete floor and vault..how to keep her spirits up so it doesn't make her lose her focus for the two she is competing.

 

[iwannacoach]

Ask her if which of these she enjoys more, a one day competition, or a week of practice with no pressure on getting ready for the one day competition. If she answers "the week", tell her to concentrate her energy on having a fun week filled with lots of work, because the competition cannot, and never will be, more fun than a good week in the gym.

 

[gymdog]

Will she do a back bend or standing back handspring? Maybe she can break it down to regain confidence.

 

[Deanna]

Yes, gymdog, she will (she will do a back walkover on high beam..so it's not a backwards issue). It's just when it is combined, that she has the mental block on. She won't even do the ROBHS pass she competed last year...let alone throw the other BHS in there (which she was doing very well 6 months ago).
Everyone is kinda at a loss right now. Would like to help her..but even she says she doesn't know why she is scared of it now.
I'm hoping in time it will pass. I just don't want her to beat herself up too much over it. She is still VERY young..and is kinda worried about upsetting everyone if she is unable to compete floor and vault. Although NOONE would be upset..she is just certain they will be. Just don't want her to be upset with herself.
Iwannacoach..I asked her your question. She looked at me like I had three heads and said..."a week in the gym...it's where I belong".

 

[MaryA]

Going through similar things with DD right now. She only competed 2 events at last week's meet. HC just took the other two events off the table, made DD set very specific non-score-related goals for the other two events. Told her that was her focus for the first meet and the other events would be there when they were ready... No pressure. It did seem to help. Her fears in the two events she was struggling with (beam and bars) were starting to carry over to her other events to the point where she was starting to lose EVERYTHING. it was mind boggling to show up to pick up my level 7 daughter and see her balking on a ROBHS. Definitely shows you how much of the sport is mental. Anyway, only a week after that break-down, she ended up scoring over a 9 on floor and vault at her first level 7 meet, and we may be starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel on the other two events (though I don't know for sure because I make it a point not to ask, so I only get bits and pieces when she decides to tell me). Her mood is much improved though, and she's definitely feeling better physically and emotionally than she was a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, mostly I just wanted to send you and your DD a hug.:grouphug: I think the most important thing for you both (and me too) to remember is that it's temporary. She will come out on the other side of this and will, hopefully, have some more tools in her mental tool belt to help her deal with this the next time it happens. And, when it happens again, we'll still have Chalk Bucket to help us vent and talk us down...

 

[txgymfan]

Mary, So glad to hear about your progress. Deanna, no words of wisdom just support from someone who has struggles with my own head.

 

[gymdog]

She can try cartwheel step in (cartwheel stepping feet together at the end) into a back limber (back bend shoot up to a handstand snap down).

 

[ellabella]

Not a coach here, but my very good friend's daughter had this fear last year of her robhsbhs after having done it for years. What helped her to finally get it back was to run less into it. She was taking 3 running steps in her routine. In general warm-up the girls always did ro and ro bhs etc just from a hurdle. This girl would always do it during warm-up if she didn't have to run into it. So she ended up changing it in her routine. Something about the running into it started to scare her. Maybe that might help. Good luck to her!

 

[Faith]

At DD's gym, when they develop a fear they take them right back down to basics. Drills, preps, set ups. BWO on the beam will go back down to a line on the floor, and they work them back up as they do each stage with no fear. ROBHS they go back to set ups, Ro preps on springboard and mats, RO jump back, spotted BHS. Basically re-teach them everything, so they build up confidence. Can she maybe join in with a lower group for a session or two that are just learning? Even when they have the skills they still do a load of preps.

IWC- My DD would do a day of competition every time!

 

[krisnkids]

My dd at 7 years old did a robhs and bailed halfway through, landed on her neck and scared herself something fierce. After that she would not do it on her own on anything other than tumble track. Her coach, who is also like a second mom to her, tried everything then told me to bring her in for a private lesson w/ no one else in the gym. She had her do roughly 20 robhs on the tumble track, then spotted her 10 on the floor, then told her to do it by herself with the knowledge that if she did not do it or bailed she would be doing pushups. She didn't do it once, did push ups. She did it the next time and the time after w/ no problem.

Granted this is not the 'norm' and I would not recommend it for most kids. Thankfully my dd's coach knew her and dd and I both had the confidence and trust in the coach for this to be able to work. Will your dd do robhs on the tumble track? For the vault, if I were the coach it would just be repetition after repetition of spotting then finger spot to just standing there for the mental spot.

 

[CapeTownMum]

Had a similar experience with my DD before Nationals - she just completely "lost" her vault (handspring half) about 2 weeks before Nationals. Had been doing it all season really well! Her coaches told me to ignore it, and not bring it up with her at all which was really difficult! On the day of the competition, she still hadn't done the vault since she "lost" it, so was not sure what to expect..... she assured me though, that she would (and could) go for it. And she did! Not a great vault, but she did it (while I had a heart attack on the stands!) And now almost a month later she is doing a stunning vault! Something just "clicks" in their heads and they lose a skill (and then gain it back again). The advice to ignore it, and not make an issue out of it, although incredibly difficult, was the best advice! It will come back when they are ready!

 

[lhmom]

The advice to ignore it, and not make an issue out of it, although incredibly difficult, was the best advice! It will come back when they are ready!

I was thinking the same thing. If it were me, I'd stay very low-key about it just so she wouldn't pick up on my worrying and make her feel worse. Your girl is tough though and I bet she'll get those skills back in no time.

 

[Deanna]

Thank you all for the great advice. As far as how I am dealing with it with her..I am very low key. I feel kinda bad, like maybe I don't pay enough attention that this has been going on for a month or better, and I had no clue. Her dad picks her up from gym on monday and friday. I get her on wednesday. (I work at our church feeding teens (BAHHHHH!!!) after school on wednesdays). I will sometimes watch her for a while (up to an hour), however much time is left once I get away from the church. I just don't know how I didn't pick up that sometime going on. I guess I figured as a Mom, I SHOULD have known..something..anything. I don't ask her what they did or anything..just how it went..she says..good or fine..and that's that. (she says the same thing when I ask about school too...lol).
But, I spoke to her coach last night (PC meeting) and she said they normally ignore that kinda thing...because they do come and go. Seems to happen more closer to meet season. Just a kinda jitters type deal..and they almost always work through it before that first meet. If not, normally missing that even at the first meet is enough to make the switch "flip" back over.
But, anywho, the reason she mentioned was because of her attitude about it all. She is not rude, disrespectful, doesn't say "no". She just acts like she couldn't care less.
Now, I know just what they mean. She has been doing this at home and at school. She is not rude, or anything. She is actually very sweet about it all. But she is trying to prove to everyone that she will do "whatever" when she feels like doing it.
Case in point...at home, in the mornings. I am constantly telling her.."Kadee you have to hurry, you are going to miss the bus". She says okay, then carries on at a snails pace. She has almost missed her bus twice. You wake her up earlier to give her more time...she just goes slower.
Another case in point..last month (this month she did good all but the first day) she lost her "smiley" 14 days. Not for being bad, or talking, or acting up, or getting out of her seat, or talking back or fighting. But for not "using time wisely".
I finally lost it on her about this one. I try so hard not to yell at my kids. But she had pushed me to the breaking point and beyond. She hasn't lost her smiley at all this month (except the very first day). She is doing better on her time in the mornings. And Monday night the coaches said she worked her vault. (will be working floor today).
But anywho together we came to the conclusion that it is more of an age thing. More of her trying to see how far she can push people. Seeing how much independence she can have. Like with the other two, home and school, once she saw just how far that was..things settled down. And I think now that she see that her coaches and I are together on this..that it will start shaping up in gym too. I hope anyway.
Again, thank you all for all the great advice.

 

[cazoon]

I agree with ellabella. I am in level 5 and started to have trouble with my backhandsprings. Then, I started to do them out of a step and a power hurdle until they looked good again. Now, I am back to running and am very confident about them,