Not a gym lover but....

[gymjourneymom]

Gymjourneymom, you have such a way with words. I can only hope that in "real" life you write.

Awww, thanks Bog! I would think you'd be tired of reading my long, rambling posts by now. Actually in "real" life I'm a nurse, but thanks to DD I dabble in sports psychology for "fun". Oh, the things we do for our kids!!!

 

[gymnut1]

just to add as Marie did there are several brits on here - Myself and Marie included. I have a slightly different perspective from some as I am a Primary School teacher by day, a gym coach by night and a parent to one non gymmie teen and one gymmie 9 year old. Being a parent influences my teaching and being a teacher influences my coaching. Being a mom is my favourite ever ever ever thing in the world.

 

[Midget's Dad]

Welcome!

I think you will enjoy your stay here and as others have said I totally get your perspective. I may not share it but I understand it and respect it.

I had always planned for my kids to do all the things I did not get a chance to do. Music, some sports, art and dance. You know the things a 'well rounded' kid is supposed to do. Then we found gymnastics and got invited to team.

The summer months we try to fit in more stuff outside the gym, but during the school year there is no time for anything else.

But I have grown to not only accept it but love it as well. She gets so much joy from it. She reminds me of me honestly. I didnt get to do all that stuff because I was focused as well. I gave up a lot of life for sports and there was a time I regretted some of it, but in the end it helped me become who I am and that regret is long past. The one thing I wish was present in my life was supportive parents that could have helped steer me better. The sport I picked was not the sport I was best at, and while I got far I struggled for a long time. Knowing my daughter has a sport she loves AND is talented at makes a world of difference for me.

Anyway welcome to CB.

 

[Obeg]

Hmm -- apparently some took my exaggerations a bit too serious. However - the facts are the 1/3 of children in the US are considered overweight, they spend 7+ hours a day in a "digital world" (tv/computer/ipod/etc), and get less than 15 mins a day of exercise. None which is an issue for a gymnast.

I have 4 kids - only 1 who is a gymnast. The other 3 do their own thing - one plays basketball, the other track, the other volley ball. None of them are anywhere near as dedicated about anything they do in their life as my gymnast is about hers .

All my girls are very active in girl scouts and we as a family are very active. We all have kayaks (6) so we take the armada out kayaking as often as possible. We also like to get out and do things most families don't such as rock climb, white water center, hike, camp, explore. But I know we are not "normal" as a family.

I think that dedication and hard work a gymnast puts in is awesome - and it bugs me when people say she cannot lead a "normal" life. If normal is that averages that I state in the first paragraph above - then I take abnormal.

 

[bogwoppit]

Some peoples normal is anothers abnormal.

Those statistics are scary Obeg, it takes so much parental commitment to make sure you child isn't just a number. The fact that parents are here shows they care, and THAT is a huge thing.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

Welcome to CB! I'm glad that your desperation led you here, as I think it will be helpful for you to hear from parents and coaches outside of your gym, and that your perspective will be valuable.

I understand your dislike of the time involved, the expense, the competitive moms and dads. However, based on the 2 threads that you've begun so far, I honestly wonder a little about the gym in which your dd is involved, and think that some of your dislike may come from there. As I said in your other thread, my dd is also on a fast-track, yet her teammates and her do not have bedwetting issues, and her coaches and gym owners take time to talk to us.

As far as the time goes, we homeschool (a choice made before our 4 kids were school-age that had nothing to do with gymnastics, btw), and one of the reasons that I'm glad that we do is that my dd is able to just be a kid for a big part of the day, playing with her other homeschooled friends and siblings, etc. If we didn't homeschool, I might feel differently about the amount of time that my dd spends at gymnastics. (I'm not suggesting that you homeschool; I'm just saying that I understand how you'd be concerned about the time involved. Although, most of dd's teammates are not homeschooled and seem to be well-adjusted. And, both schooled and un-schooled gymmies do gymnastics for fun even when not at practice, which suggests to me that they are spending the time the way that they want!) Even though our dd has more down time than those in school, she has at times missed gym to go to parties or something, and she still is dedicated to gym and does well at it.

Last night, my husband and I were talking about competitive parents with another gym parent, and we told him stories about theater parents (our oldest dd is heavily involved in theater), who can be as obnoxious as gym parents, who can be as annoying as scholastic achiever parents (I used to be an educator in public schools and have seen how competitive and mean they can be), who can be as awful as soccer parents . . . You get the idea. It's everywhere, unfortunately. We've dealt with these parents ourselves, and both my dh and I are weary of it. Hey, secretly, against my better intentions, maybe I'm one of those, as well, sometimes, as I admit that I've silently wished before that a competitor might make a mistake at a meet if my dd didn't do as well as she wanted, or if I've thought that my other dd would've been much better at a part than so-and-so. It's ugly, I know--I hate that I've even had those thoughts--but we can only keep checking ourselves and trying to surround ourselves with positive, encouraging, hopefully genuine people, no matter what our children decide to pursue (even if your dw is the only other positive, encouraging, genuine person you can find where you're at ).

And, for all of the negative, I've seen a lot of great positives in my dd's life. Her strength--and I'm talking psychological strength and strength of character here, not physical--, positive and valuable life lessons learned, her confidence and belief in herself . . . I could go on and on. As long as your dd continues to love the sport and grows in it in a healthy way, I think you may start seeing more of the positive.

Enjoy CB, even if you don't enjoy gymnastics! You're welcome here.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

Oops! Somehow, my post got posted twice. It was certainly long enough the first time!

 

[MissBear]

As a coach in the UK, this concerns me.
I wonder what sort of a gym set up you are in that the coaches are god and can not discuss anything with you.
If there was something seriously wrong, like your daughter was falling asleep in school, or became overly concerned about her fitness and weight, could you talk to them then?
In gymnastics, especially on the elite path, there will be problems. Injuries, fear of a skill, growth spurts that wreck her bars routine. It is vital to be able to work together with coaches. You and the coaches make up the team that makes your daughters gymnastics possible, and allows her to enjoy it.

Please, also be aware that it is possible to follow the elite path in the UK in a gym where communication, fun and hard work create success. You do not have to attend a gym where the coaches are too busy to talk to parents who are commiting their child to a large number of hours in the gym.
If you have not already seen them already, please check out teamsparkles videos on youtube. They show the close environment that can be enjoyed within the gym. You can see that these gymnasts enjoy their sport and are close to their coaches.

Please PM me if you have questions or if I can help at all.

 

[Gymnastdad]

Hi MB,

Looks like a move back across the pond is in order then! OK maybe I exaggerated a little, but I do find the coaches pretty unapproachable, and VERY set in their ways "we are the coach, we know what is best for your child", yes, they may understand gymnastics better than me, but do they know my daughter better? hell no!

Feedback is pretty much non existant except in a negative way, and if she moves into their best squad we are expected to look at getting her equipment at home such as a beam, chin bar etc., home schooling has already been hinted at (almost all the elite seniors are home schooled) I just don't see the mentality of these people, yes the gym has given her confidence and self esteem, even at this young age she is looked up to by some classmates, but she also needs a break from it, even in the Corps we had RnR, and at what price does this come? The chances of her achieving anything incredible are infintisimally small, the chances of her being hurt (physically or mentally) are not, the question then comes, then what?

I realise they are totally different sports but my sons play football and soccer, and neither has this sort of pressure or requirement placed upon them.

Maybe I'm just an old fashioned over-protective dad, but I feel she is too young to know the sacrifices she would have to make, and the childhood she would lose.

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymnastdad, I really feel for you, it is so easy to be swept along by the "elite path". Yes, dd might want it, but does she really know what it means.

I find the fact that the coaches are so unnapproachable very hard to swallow, I couldn't have my child in a gym where I wasn't listened to. I pay the bills, it is my child and ultimately I know what is best for her.

Are there other gyms where she can still be a gymnast and progress without the pressure that you are finding so harsh. I know some families would love to have what you've got, but it is clear that it is not working for you and that you are trying to make peace with something that you don't embrace.

I don't think you are old fashioned or over protective, you sound like a loving Dad who wants his child to experience life at it's fullest. Balance is often a big topic here, balance is essential, and in every family a different thing. The family as a whole has to support the gymnast and in order to do that they have to feel that it is the right path.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

I also don't think you're being old-fashioned or over-protective. There are warning signs there that you are sensitive to recognize and question. Perhaps, as I alluded to in my previous post, it's not so much gymnastics itself that is the real issue, and not even elite gymnastics, but the gym where your child is at. You do have to be careful with gym choice, especially with elite gymnastics, IMO, but there are good elite and non-elite gyms out there. There are also some I'd never let my child train a day in. You just have to be aware, and that's what you are. If there are other successful gyms in your area, I'd investigate them, and, if not, you really should question the elite path or just continue to be vigilant about observing her current gym, ready to pull her out if necessary. If it comes to it, her well-being is definitely not worth staying at the gym, IMO, even if that means that elite gymnastics is no longer available to her.

 

[emorymom]

I think you should post your concerns here to get feedback and then set up a meeting with the coaches.

I think you should look into what other options exist in your area for gymnastics team or private coaching. It's hard to leave the first gym. It gets easier with practice LOL. I'm not suggesting gym hopping is the greatest thing but if you're doing it for a good reason, the coaches should be supportive. If they're not ... it sounds like they have some issues with being supportive of family concerns ... hmmm.

I think you should keep an open mind about home schooling (or gym schooling) because it's a wonderful way for many of our kids to have robust athletic and academic lives at an early age as well as a plain old messing around childhood. For many of us it frees up a lot of time in our kids' lives by making the academics very efficient. It's also becoming mainstream in much of the US. My daughter is in an afterschool dance class at the rec center with maybe 7 kids enrolled, and at least 3 of them are home schooled (and we didn't arrange it that way). That doesn't mean it's right for every family or child. It also doesn't mean that every saved hour by home schooling should be spent in the gym.

While I think gymnastics lends itself to group training more efficiently than, say, mathematics training, I do think some of the group hours could be cut nicely without a loss of potential in the gymnast by doing two things:

(1) cutting down on the number of competitions per year for the fast track kids; and
(2) taking the money saved and putting it into privates or lowering the coach / gymnast ratio.

You also might want to talk with your daughter more about her long term plans. It's hard for young children to visualize the future, but you could help map out for her what the best way toward her long term goals are. As it is, she seems to be going pretty hard. You may want to discuss with her that compromising her training short term may be the best way to have her still in gymnastics at age 16. Or with less chronic pain in her 30s. What does she want to be when she grows up?

 

[AGM78910]

School options for gymnasts

There are a lot of gym schools, public schools, and private schools in the North Texas area where we live. Any of these are suitable for gymnasts, it depends a lot on the gym and the way they schedule their workouts.

Some gyms have a school right in the gym. The one at our gym is a fully accredited private school and the kids go from 8-1 in the morning and work out from 1:30 to 6 in the afternoon. They have evenings free to have a social life and participate in other activities. We have every USAG level up to level 10 and every grade from K through high school. The advantage is that they don't have to go anyplace else to train.

Other private schools in the area accommodate twice a day practices (morning and afternoon) and still have evenings free. These schools are on their own campus and require transportation to and fro. They also have every grade from K through high school.

Our public school has a program designed for student athletes (not just gymnasts) where the kids go to public school from in the mornings, take one course on-line, and can skip lunch. They are usually out by 1 every day. This is primarily for middle and high school kids. They can then go to any gym and work out in the afternoons. The advantage to this is that they have evenings free and they can fully participate in high school, including prom, yearbook, football games, dances, etc. and not feel like they are being left out. My daughter has chosen this track because she wants to participate in the after school activities.